I dont know. It feels like by calling it “beans” it’s making the situation less serious than it is. Especially with cat scratches. The whole thing feels weird to me.

I was having a really bad urges but I kinda forgot I set an alarm to take my meds. My alarm is a really cursed mouthwashing fan song "a captain's curse" and it blasted on full freaking volume so I just sat here ready to cut on one second and dying laughing on the next. I was laughing so hard it actually made me stop, just take my meds and go to sleep😭🙏🏻

Also I'm two weeks clean thanks to this freaky ahh song yay

Hi so tbh songs about self harm kinda help me and i would like to have recommendations.

Mine are 'Sara' by We Three and 'Baby Don't Cut' by Bmike (the acoustic version is better imo)

So about a week and a half ago I (24f) relapsed after 6+ years of being clean (im going through a lot of shit right now). I told my girlfriend after my initial relapse and said I wouldn't do it again. I lied. Ive been cutting daily since. Nothing too deep, but they're all some variation of "styro" and theres a lot of them. I live with her and have been wearing long sleeves and hoodies strictly, so she hadn't seen the new cuts until last night.

She forced me to give her all my tools and she threatened to send me to a hospital if I did it again. I know its from a good place but the way she went about handling it all made me feel worse than I already do. I understand she is angry that I broke her trust but I really wish she would have been more gentle about everything.

I have nobody to talk to about this who understands and doesn't think I'm fucking crazy. I feel so alone.

Idk. I have so many shitty feelings going on and feel like a failure and a disappointment. I thought I had kicked this stupid habit for good but I guess not. I should never have picked up that stupid razor again. I hate this and I hate myself. Its all I can think about right now. The first thing I thought of this morning when I woke up was cutting. Its like an obsession for me. I'm scared I'm gonna go buy more shit and do it again. I'm scared I'm going to ruin my relationship over this. I'm a shitty person and an even shittier girlfriend.

I guess this is for my own good. I was hoping I could have stopped on my own terms through therapy and stuff again but the wait lists are so long right now for any therapist that seems like a good fit. Idk. Sorry for the scatter brain thoughts.

I’m just rlly ofnfused n hope it isn’t like cancer or something 😭😭

What are some products that help with scar healing? I've been applying Vaseline on them for a few weeks now cuz it's all I have currently. They're not very deep but they drew some blood and I don't want people finding out about them so I want them gone ASAP.

I’ve SHed for as long as I can remember and my therapist is asking me to write a thank you/ goodbye letter to sh. When she first asked me to do it a few weeks ago I said there was no way but now I’m coming to terms with it but have no idea how to start or what to say. For context I have just relapsed after being 6 months clean and had been saying for months that I needed to do it just one more time to get closure. I was wrong! since doing it my urge have been stronger than ever and I still want to do it just one more time. My therapist thinks writing this letter might give the closure I’m looking for because I’m finding the idea that I’ll never do it again really hard because I guess I just believe I’ll always slip up at some point. Has anyone else had to write a letter to sh. How did you do it and know what to say? I’m really struggling to find the words to say what I need to say and need some advice

I’ve just managed to find and take apart a razor, I now have access to tools. I’m at my family home for christmas break and I left my tools in my flat in the city I live in 3hrs away from here, I’m only home for 3 weeks so I decided to force myself to stay clean. I can’t do this. I need it so bad. It’s like something took over me for a second, I haven’t done it yet as it took a while to get it sorted but I’ve cut my thumb open in the process. I’m just done I need it and I need it asap

Any time I come to this sub for any kind of advice, I don’t get shit, nobody comments, I’ve seen others vent here and their posts get ignored, the whole reason I post here is to feel seen by others who share my struggles, and every time I need advice from this sub community, I get like 10 likes and nobody to reach out and help, it’s the same shit with the vent subreddit, I post there for advice and nobody says shit, I don’t have many other options.

I can’t even be fucking bothered with this shit anymore. I just turned seventeen and I have BPD and I literally hurt myself all the time. I’ve hurt myself since I was like 8 and started cutting a couple years ago but I just cannot stop no matter what I do. I also have crazy bad body issues. I starve myself all the time then I try and get better, gain the weight back, then start purging and starving again. My metabolism is fucked. Today I saw my body and ordered a ton of weight loss pills and then just cut myself a ton and now I can’t stop bleeding and all the bloods all over my favourite jacket :( and I have a date later which I’m probably going to cancel because of this. I’m just fucking fed up. This is going to kill me eventually and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. When I tell you I’ve done EVERYTHING I can do get better I mean it, my body’s the main issue and I have no support. I was emotionally abused for years and I’ve been sexually abused in the past, still the hardest thing is eating. If I liked my body I honestly think I’d ne able to stop hurting myself. I tried to recover now I’m just going back to starving and purging because it’s the only thing I have. I won’t pass my exams because of it, it zaps all of the life out of me. If I don’t starve to death one day I’ll kill myseld and everyone will pretend they didn’t see it coming when I begged for help for years and they all fucking ditched me at my lowest and act like they’re there for me then fuck off and leave me to die. I’m here for everybody all the time and I just fucking hate myself so much I don’t deserve to exist like this I’m a waste of fucking space I have no talents or skills or redeemable qualities I just want to fucking end it and I’m going to cut myself up and never be able to stop. It’s so pathetic I literally cut myself watch it bleed then instantly scramble to stop the bleeding it’s so pathetic im so mad at myself

I’m really stressed right now. How do I make sure I don’t do it again?

I have constant urges now, which was never an issue before. And right now, I'm trying my very best to ignore them and push forward. But it's so hard and it's so overwhelming... I used to give people advice on how to move their attention to something else, which makes me upset, because I can't even take my own advice and make myself feel better :/ This is awful. I've already cut today and I don't wanna do it again. It's such a pain to look after myself, when I'm done and it takes so long to heal. I hate this

TWO THINGS.
-"Is this sh" "does this count as sh" "am I valid" STOP, PLEASE. If you do something to HARM yourself, it's considered sh, no matter if it leaves a mark or scar. If something hurts you on ACCIDENT, so WITHOUT the intent to harm yourself, it's not sh. Keep seeing posts like "I accidentally stubbed my toe is this sh", "I accidentally cut myself with paper", "I relapsed tonight but does it count as sh" stuff like that, stop, holy shit. Some sh may be 'worse' or 'less bad' than others but a relapse is a relapse.

-"Clean for 2 mins", "I did it again :(", with a screenshot of a 'clean' app showing 2 minutes or even some seconds. "Clean" doesn't mean you didn't sh for an amount of time, it's hoe long you've been TRYING to stay clean. If you relapsed 2 minutes ago, NO, YOU'RE NOT CLEAN. If you relapsed 2 hours ago I PERSONALLY also wouldn't call it clean. I haven't sh'ed in over a week, but I don't consider myself 'clean'. I simply didn't sh because I didn't have the time nor equipment, not because I actively tried to keep clean.

Now don't come at me, these are MY opinions, I'm sorry if the way I said it made it seem like it's some kind of rule.

Its frustrating. I feel like its bad how use to it all Ive gotten. I used to be rlly insecure aboute the scars and scared people would notice. Now I just wear a long sleeve shirt every day. But its frustrating how I still have the urge to somedays. And how normal that urge feels to me now. I texted my therapist and am going to use some of the skills she taught me. Its just annoying because I want to get back to a place where I dont find it so normal. I want to fully utilize the skills I learned in therapy when the urges do come up.

I don't understand. Everyone says it's bad and harmful but I don't understand. I'm not hurting anyone else. It's not like I take my emotions out on other people. Hurting them and yelling like some do.

Hurting others makes one a bad person, and I'm not a bad person, so I hurt myself instead. No one can call me a bad person for hurting myself.

With self harm, the only risk is to myself. And that risk is mostly just infection, which can easily be prevented by the proper care, which I can give myself.

I'm not seeing why it's so terrible, nor why I have to stop. I need someone to really explain why it's bad, make me understand why I have to stop doing this to myself.

Once (when I first started SH) I left my room wearing a T shirt to go to dinner and I forgot I still had visible scabs on my wrist, my mom saw them and asked if I was hurting myself, I made this stupid ass excuse of me accidentally scratching it on the edge of my wood dresser cause it is kind of jagged so she believed me but was a bit Anxious about it for the rest of the day, a few days later we were talking about how I was doing in school and my mood and then she mentioned my wrist again and how she’s worried about me, I kept my cool and confidently showed her my healed wrist and reassured her almost in a passive aggressive way like “I don’t have anything to hide, ask me anything”. As fucked up as it is to say, I think I did a good damn job lying my ass off like that.

I really want to get clean so I can tell my sister about my destructive habits and get proper help again. The reason why I wanna get over it first is because I know if I told her about this while still actively doing it, it'll only get worse cuz she'll take all the stuff and make the urges stronger. Its getting too bad and worse lately and I need help. Im so tired of this. Thank you.

The title sounds wrong. I'm not scared to sh, I'm scared of getting kicked out of my accommodation because I sh, or it stopping me from being able to get the job I want in the future, or getting hospitalised because I'm too high a risk. The main fear is getting kicked out tho. There is a limit to what I can do before I get kicked out. Certain things is a guarantee, certain things is "fine" and some things isn't a solid answer.

I used to cut. Until I got moved to my current placement. Where I am, I technically should be there because I sh. They aren't supposed to take kids who sh. But they took me. So basically, they are more concerned about me cutting so I decided to burn instead which I have done in the past but it became my regular after I moved out. So basically burning is fine, cutting is debatable and overdosing is a no go, I will definitely get kicked out. Those are the 3 things I do. And it's really annoying because all I wanna do is cut. And don't get me wrong, I have without them finding out but I know I also go down to fat like half the time so I'm worried if I go slightly too deep they will find out. And there's 2 issues with that. Basically if they decide anything I am doing is life threatening, I'll get kicked out for it. But also I'm on my final warning. One of those warnings was from bringing a "weapon" (a pocket knife I used to sh)' into the house. If I get caught for cutting, they will make me hand in the tool I used. TBF I'm now using a razor blade but idk if they'd consider that a weapon and even if they don't, I only have 1 and I can't get another anytime soon. So basically, I could get kicked out for either being too life threatening or sneaking a "weapon" into the house again. I don't wanna get kicked out!!! What do I do then?! I also rly don't wanna be hospitalised either lol

major major tw here. relapsed unfortunately but it's life. i consistently cut to styro whenever i relapse, and i did one that's a bit wider than the others. looking into it i can see a bit of orange in it, but i don't know if its fat or not. i don't think i cut into the fat, but i can see it (if it's fat at all) but it's not like widely gaping that much. i think it is fat, but i thought my cut would have to be wider for that. idk any advice would be helpful

My best friend has struggled with self harm for a very long time like I have. When I saw him yesterday I saw healing stuff on one of his hands. Made me really really want to relapse.

We live in different states so it's hard for me to feel close to him. And I feel like me being clean makes me feel farther away from him.

The main reason I haven't relapsed is because my work as a dishwasher and kinda need my hands and arms.

because of my self destructive behaviors that i only notice after i’ve hurt people has led me to lose friends i’ve had since high school, and a lover who truly cared for me like no other. i see them on social media living better without me while i’m completely alone. i’m so depressed but i also don’t feel sorry for myself because it’s my own bad attitude that got me here but i miss those connections, i miss them, i feel so alone.. i wish for once someone would be afraid of losing me

I'm in school and have shown scars on my wrists and shoulders. I wear gloves so no one sees but it gets annoying and is a hassle to wear all the time. I don't have fresh scars but I'm still scared to show them. Do I just stop wearing them one day? Scars on my shoulders isn't a big deal since I wear clothes with sleeves anyway and they aren't very visible but the scars on my wrists are fairly obvious that it's sh and there are students who will probably make remarks and at the very least someone will refer me to the counselor and I don't want to have that conversation. My parents know already so is there anything I can ask them to do so a teacher won't talk about it or send me to the counselor? But even them I don't know how students will react and I'm scared of what they might think.

Firstly, I don’t like it.

I know he wants to help me and find the deeper cause of this, but it’s not working. Now I don’t know how to tell him that I don’t want to talk about it anymore and that I’ll handle my problem on my own.

I don’t like it. It's a punishment for my mistakes. I don't know what to do now. He was the only one I talked to about it and who really understood me, but now I'm scared and can't talk to anyone about it.

I'm 2 months and 11 days clean! I can't beleive I've made it so far. I still get urges but I've managed to push them down so far. I think the longest I've gone was over a year before relapsing so I hope I can make it further this time:)