I strongly suspect I have both and it’s fucking horrible. Does anyone else have both? What’s it like for you? Is it manageable without meds or am I like totally screwed if I let it keep going lol. It’s been years and it’s not getting better 💀

currently im on abilify and carbamazepine and i suggested lamictal to my psychiatrist however she said it "wouldn't do anything to me". how is lamictal different than tegretol (carbamazepine)? is it less effective? did it help anyone in this sub?

I was with my wife for 5 years before I had a mental breakdown. I constantly feel like I need to apologize and I need to keep myself “in check”. Dude this sucks SOOO bad. She didn’t sign up for a “crazy person” and I can’t keep myself happy anymore… I hate this

I’m on 10mg of Abilify, 150mg of Wellbutrin. My psychiatrist upped my regimen after a two month long (hypo)manic episode followed by a two week long depressive episode. I’ve been on this dosage since late October and really the only emotion and feeling I have is “fine”. I find myself sleeping almost 10 hours per night and my life feels very dull because all I feel like a do is go to work and I haven’t had any creative outbursts like I once did. Should I ask my psychiatrist to lower my dosage of Abilify or am I finally now stable?

After ketamine treatment being super successful ( last treatment was a year ago!), I haven't had nearly as many "shitty episodes".

I think I take it for granted that despite being able to function and socialise etc again, I'm still unwell. People see me brighter and smiling and I do actually feel happinedd st times.

What they don't see are the occasional previously common meltdowns. Frustrated, irritable, scratching the crap out of my neck and smashing it with whatever object is closeby. Slamming my arm against corners of doorways for maximum pain.

I just spent an hour bawling my eyes out and beating myself up.

After all this success with ketamine I currently feel it's all over. I want to die again. I have violent self harm stints. Right now I hate being alive, trying to act happy.

I can't see it at the time but it does pass. This time feels different. Harder. Longer. Absolutely spent with nothing in the tank and the tank is corroded, so zero chance of filling it.

I need so many pills to get through days and nights, I can't stand being around people, and I'm a physical and mental mess right now. Today has been so fucking hard.

I know realistically in myself it will pass eventually hopefully soon...but would really appreciate some kindness and encouragement to get me through this savage rut 😔💜

So after i was officially diagnosed with bipolar 1 i got prescribed Lamotrigine. Which worked wonders in terms of my depression (I'm suddenly a functional adult with energy to do THINGS) But it didn't prevent mania from happening. Which is no surprise, but my psychiatrist initially was like "maybe lamotrigine alone will fix it - let's see what happens". I'm currently working on finding a better psychiatrist.

In 2 weeks i will have my next appointment with her and we'll discuss which medication to add to prevent mania im the future.

What are your guys experiences with lamotrigine augmentations? Anybody here living a good life with added neuroleptics? I took olanzapine for half a year and it was easily the worst time of my life. I really couldn't deal with the emotional numbness for the rest of my life. It's terrifying to even think about it, to me.

But reasonably i HAVE to add something to my medication to prevent future mania. Has anyone out here found a combination that works well, without turning you into an emotionally numb zombie? I don't want to start Lithium yet, as i'm still kind of young and afraid of the longterm-effects. I want to start it as late as possible, if i have to.

Shoutout to everyone having a tough time right now: I have faith in you. This community is full of amazing displays of willpower and determination to turn things around. And there is always a way to walk towards the light again. Even if it's baby steps. I hope 2025 will be better for you.

Hi, depression is killing me I have never experienced this where I spend all day in bed. Eating little. I am not showering. I’m freaking out because this isn’t ending. Taking meds they aren’t working. I’m alone. Thank you so much

I’m so upset with life right now. It feels as though I won’t be able to take on any additional sadness, regret or anger at some point. I’m not at that point now, but the older I get the more I think that this will cost me my whole life one day. I’m on meds and in therapy, but I’m living with so much regret, loneliness and sadness. The two manic episodes I’ve had in the last 12 years have already costed me pretty much everything. I try to rebuild but something inside me just gives up every time. Idk

I can’t explain it the way I want to, hopefully somebody gets what I’m trying to say.

I am 39F with Lithium induced Hypothyroidism, Bipolar l and now Perimenopause has joined the hormone party. I would really like to hear from our more experienced ladies, how am I going to survive this? Tips, tricks, advice.

I was gifted some edibles by an older friend; I’m 18, so technically not of legal age to use recreationally. However, I usually smoke about once or twice a month, and only socially at that.

Out of the past 5 nights I’ve owned these edibles, I’ve taken ~20-30mg 4 of the nights. It already feels out of my control, like I have to take them (to help sleep, but mostly just for the good feelings). I still have quite a few left.

So, when do you know you’re becoming “addicted”/when it’s abusive and how do you stop? When is it necessary to stop?

My fiancée and I lived together for 2 years and I got very used to having him around to talk to or just chit chat about none sense. In October he got called back to Chicago for work. It was just me for the first month and it was very hard. I went to my dads for thanksgiving, then my fiancée came home for 8 days, then I spent Christmas at my moms. Now I’ve been back home for 4 days all alone with no one to talk to. I am Bipolar I and generalized anxiety disorder. I have no friends I can call or visit with and the loneliness is really getting to me. I am spiraling into a depression and I don’t know what to do. I talked to my fiancée and my mom and they both suggested I join a social group to meet people but not don’t understand my anxiety makes it very hard to talk to strangers. It’s so bad there are people at work whose names I don’t even know because I’m scared to talk to new people. I don’t know what to do and I’m afraid my depression will spiral and I’ll try something stupid. Sorry for the vent I just didn’t know where else to go.

i used to write/draw all the time. i havent picked up a pencil in over a year now since being medicated. now looking back, i was definitely always manically scribbling something down but i loved creating, it made me feel alive and now i just feel stifled. any tips or tricks to regain your creativity while stable?

Just had my second completely real completely amazing sex dream. What is this about?? I mean the orgasm felt so real. Could this be a manic thing?

Hi everyone, my dosage of Latuda went up to 120mg and I've been on this drug for about a year and a half now. I have noticed that a lot of people struggle with nausea when on Latuda, so I wanted to make a post about how I get around it in case it might help others. The idea popped into my head because I accidentally ignored one of my rules tonight and got nauseous!

My three rules are:

1. Eat at least 350 calories, or drink a nutrition shake (like Ensure Plus) of the same caloric amount or higher.

2. Wait a full 30 minutes after eating/drinking your complete 350+ calories before taking your Latuda.

3. Remain upright during the full 30 minutes so that the calories can hit your stomach faster. You can sit down, just make sure you're sitting up at a 90 degree angle!

When I follow these three rules, I typically don't experience any nausea. Here are some additional tips:

• If you forget a rule or end up nauseous, it can help to eat something like plain crackers until your stomach settles. I did that tonight because I forgot to stay upright, and now I feel mostly better.

• If you get drowsy after you take Latuda like I do, it can be helpful to bring an Ensure Plus if you're going out somewhere. I usually take my Latuda after dinner, but if I want to stay up later, I can wait right until it's near bedtime and just drink the Ensure Plus to take my Latuda. That way I can avoid getting drowsy too early.

I hope this can be helpful to someone out there!! :D Side effects still suck to have to work around, but learning these tips has made taking Latuda a lot more tolerable for me.

It has been 24h that I haven't slept, I always try to keep my schedule of 5am to 9pm so I get 8h of sleep and I know it's important for us who have BD but I think I'm on mania, I haven't been working regularly for a while now, since October, and I will start again on January 6th, I'm kind of anxious for that, I also finally got my tv, which I didn't have for a year, I got back my 14 years old cat, but I couldn't take her to the vet yet, and I don't know I'm feeling weird in general, my room is a mess, I know where everything is but it is disorganized. Help!

Having both is such a sick joke like HUH

my birth control failed me and I had 2 weeks of insanity where I didn’t know wtf was going on, and then boom I got the tail end of a period (iykyk). I hate how bad it effects me, I can’t imagine if I had it monthly again

I've been trying to get VNS surgery for my bipolar 1 depression for almost 2 years. Most recently it was suggested from the company handling my appeals that I write a personal letter for the board to read. Well, I've been feeling like a letter would be coming before the new year, and lo and behold today a certified letter came from them with my approval or another denial. It came in the 1 fucking hour that I wasn't home to sign for it 😭😭. Now I have to wait till Monday to pick it up from the post office. I am fucking spiraling so bad. I desperately need this surgery to be approved by insurance. I can't afford it any other way. That horrible feeling in my stomach is back and my brain is dying for sure. I just need them to approve it so badly.

My reaction to Adderall raised concerns to my psychiatrist that I could be bipolar with some of the other symptoms I experience. Though she was careful to say “I’m not diagnosing you, but it’s something to consider”. My therapist (of two years) also agrees that I show signs of being bipolar.

I guess my question is if I have a team in place and am receiving treatment is there any reason to pursue an actual diagnosis?

I was wondering if anyone ever experienced this …. I never seem to fully let go, such as: I have a massage and as it begins instead of feeling happy I’m having it and got a good hour, I feel like oh great it’s going to end in an hue and feel disappointed instead. I seem to either think of when it will end and feel disappointed even before or as it’s began. However, sometimes I’m so lost in the moment of the activity thinking it’s going to end that after when I reflect I think it was a good experience. It’s like I’m ticking the box and going though motions. I do have adhd and bipolar 2 disorder.

Happy holidays to all. I’ll make this short as possible (bare with me)

I was diagnosed with bipolar in may 2022 after I was manic and psychotic.. however during the previous fall was went through an “episode” that was severe. At the time no one really knew what was going on, I was in the emergency room three times in three months. I was actually diagnosed with bipolar during the final inpatient stay during this 3 month period, but I never really got a reason why. My outpatient psychiatrist at the time disagreed with the inpatient diagnosis (I understand this sort of) once I was out. Ironically later that summer he was the one to diagnose bipolar one after that may manic event.

The psychiatrists I have seen since this 3 months period in the fall have said it sounds like was mixed manic-depressive at the time and was very likely psychotic. I want someone to actually read this so in short, I was extremely sick (mentally) during that stretch. My parents have described me as “erratic, violent, aggressive, severely irritable, and have said they were constantly on edge during this 3 month period. I good example of this was I was so irritable and depressed and pissed at them for no reason that I c*t myself making direct eye contact with them just to prove a point. Interestingly during the entirety of this period I couldn’t get out of bed .HOWEVER there was a week in the middle of this where I all of Sudden was filled with euphoria, energy, hyper sexuality, went to the gym for hours each day thinking I was gonna play college basketball. It only lasted a week and afterwards I plummeted into the mixed stage

In short my parents saw a level of instability they have never seen before. I am with them now for the holidays, I am currently very stable, but I can sense they are so nervous that I’m going to become a monster again. Idk how to explain it. They seem on edge even though they acknowledge I’m very stable and doing bery well

If you have made it to this point in my essay, how do I deal with this. I highly doubt they are even aware they are acting very “gingerly”. But I feel Horrible about it. I worry they will never be able to separate what they saw them wit who I am and will never in the future.

Im so Sorry for this long rant. I wanted to provide context.

✌🏽

So I have been diagnosed by a psychiatrist a few months ago but I also have BPD and CPTSD and probably autism which makes things difficult!!! I still have a few doubts about my diagnosis which is why im posting this. If I am indeed bipolar then I might be in a mixed episode because this is what would fit the most

My symptoms : - trouble with sleep (trouble to fall asleep, wake up around 5am and awake for 2-3 more hours then sleep a bit more) - definitely check most of the depression symptoms so no doubt about that - feel more restless mostly at night it’s like I am exhausted but I wanna run in the street??? I feel like I am going to explode because of how restless I feel - racing thoughts, either negative slight suicidal thoughts feel like a failure ect BUT also thinking about a lot of stuff about life at once and options and just a lot - BAD imposter syndrome, my thoughts right now => maybe i am in a mixed episode => these are the symptoms I would have => maybe I don’t have rhese symptoms but I am triggerinf them myself - impulsive thoughts like oh i wanna get flight tickets to new york? or asia? or what if i need to do something crazy rn? I need to buy a lot of clothes to find my style and send some back?

So anyways does it sound like I am bipolar? What are your mixed episodes like?

I received my Bipolar diagnosis about a year ago and it's like suddenly everything made sense. I have been accessing community and resources on how to manage my illness and live with it. I also have CPTSD and ADHD, plus I identify as queer and non binary.

A lot has changed since I recieved my Bipolar diagnosis and I have been on my healing journey working on my trauma, slowly.

Yet, it's like the stigma never ends. Over a decade ago, when I came out of the closet to people, they would almost squirm. Now the same is happening wrt my Bipolar diagnosis.

Some loved ones responded with - "Oh, but you are so sorted" or "Oh, it doesn't seem so" or "Oh, but you are so self aware. How is that possible?" Or my favourite one so far - "Oh, no wonder you have happy periods. It must be mania, right?"

It's really exhausting when I choose to tell a loved one/someone close to me about this and suddenly - the conversation becomes about me consoling them, that I am fine and I can handle this or that Mania is not all hunky dory.

How do y'all deal with the stigma of being Bipolar?

I spent a month and a half psychotic depressed and then 5 days ago flipped and I haven't been eating or sleeping(save 8 hours), I have been doing tons of out of character things, signed up for a college course, a dating site, went to a meet up in person I found on tb(Ive NEVER done that), researched trans affirming surgery and got prepared to call monday, started 2 art peices, started making a fur suite(don't judge), cleaned(I don't clean lol), was going to just go to another site and pick someone up for sex, and other things I can't remember.. and its only increasing, my moods way up and energy. I can't focus, I despritly want people to talk to me. Omg I feel like I'm on speed. And I'm snapping at people.

I don't get pure mania often.. like ever few years. I get depression and mixed. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. On top of it my tardive dyskinesia is getting worse again. Also, I just failed the only antipsychotic my doc felt ok prescribing me, abilify. I had an allergic reaction. So, I don't even know how they bring this down(I'm on mood stabilizers, lithium, lamictal, topamax).

I know what to do during depression and mixed. I don't know wtf I'm supposed to do. I don't even know if psychosis ended because it didn't get treated. I feel like I shouldn't know to go to the ER with mania.. like that would be the point to go to the ER, when Im so bad Im that out of it...? Uhg.

I've checked MyChart like 50x today hoping my pdoc would have messaged me...

for a few weeks i've been hallucinating things for abt maximum 1 second per hallucination. things like bugs, birds, abstract faces, and objects (rarely they last up to 4 seconds if it's a bird or object). most of the time i'm not scared, but sometimes it scares me or confuses me a lot and i'm filled with dread. I'm also having delusions of cameras and microphones in my house, which i am aware aren't real, but i'm too paranoid and i end up beleiving in them 'just in case'. I am getting really distracted by everything, and i'm getting really scared of everything, to the point that sometimes i don't even know what it is that i'm scared of.

i've found that reading makes me feel calmer, but i am getting incredibly distracted, that it gets rlly difficult to read sometimes. often i vent online so i can read it from a different perspective, and so people can tell me things aren't real, but i think venting online makes me feel worse and even more scared of google and my digital footprint, so i have to stop.

i don't have access to proffessional help at the moment, because i am overwhelemd with the end of the year, but i will try to get help. Are there any more methods to help end a psychotic episode so it doesn't continue, and doesn't get worse? What are your opinions on my methods of reading books and quitting online venting to help (if you've attemped those methods, did they help you)?

Doc gave me meds but I couldn’t handle side effects. Does anyone have any advice??