Hi all,

I have finally taken the big decision to face my anger head on after years of suffering / tournament to myself and others that I care around me.

I (34M) live in the Boston area. I am looking for a local support group that meets weekly with potential sponsors or to take an actual anger management class. The anger management class I’m okay with it being online but prefer a live interactive course (like a real class) versus just online videos and material.

Has anyone had success with either of these and know of any resources in the Boston area? I have been unable to find something so far.

Thanks for your help!

My dad has severe irrational anger I mean explosive anger over the most minor things like believing someone is using the wrong "tone", he just gets offended by literally everything. He just explodes with screaming, unable to breathe, hitting stuff. He is also not healthy in any way, he's like 700 pounds and can't do anything without wheezing. I feel like his anger is going to kill hm bc he says he gets chest pains. Can anger kill you?? How tf do I convince him to see a counselor

So i was walking around the mall shopping with my mom and i went into a store and had a bunch of clothes in my hand because i wanted to get them obviously. Then i see these two uppidy looking girls looking at me and one says "she's just throwing clothes over her arm" (at the time i wasn't sure if they were talking ab me so i didn't say anything) and the other looks at me. I didn't know they were staring but i could feel their energy of negativity so i just acted really happy and confident to let them know they weren't bothering me. Then later after i leave my mom tells me they they were both staring at me giving me a dirty look, i didn't see it so i didn't have a chance to look at them back or say something.

This is really bothering me, it happened yesterday but the fact i couldn't get them back is making me angry, i keep replaying the situation in my head and how i would've responded had i saw it, how i would've hit them if it came to it. How can u overcome this anger?

i replay audios (why they like you, why they will always be there for you) before i get mad

& i get SO calm like the inner-hulk literally retracts

friends are so powerful frrr

I’m very angry all the time. I get easily irritated. I’m reactive. I’ve stopped responding with screams and stuff. I control myself all the time, but it physically hurts. I’ve been holding myself for years, to be honest. I can be easily offended or provoked. But I still control myself from yelling at someone or smashing them. The issue is that holding back the anger physically hurts. I’m always on adrenaline because I’m scared all the time. When somebody makes a joke about me, I get instantly angry. Sometimes I feel how the rage is boiling inside me when the thing that triggered me is absolutely small. Any tips, please, how not to be so reactive? I just want to feel less angry and less hostile and not get easily provoked.

Ever since 10 years of butting heads with my Dad, fighting against life, fighting against drug and alcohol addiction and poverty, all I have left is my anger

We've been married a long time. He has always had anger/short fuse issues. Both at work, home and in the community. At home it's minimal because I know what triggers him and intervene before it esculates.

An example is road rage. Every single car journey he will relentlessly rant and complain about other peoples driving, everyone else is always an idiot, it’s never his fault. He will ride their tail, he will cut in front of them, try to stare them down at stop lights. I’ll be on edge the whole time.

He also has the same approach to people, not just driving. If we’re walking in a busy place he will get impatient and storm pass people. Sometimes I'm left behind a crowd of people because I refuse to barge through them. It's embarrassing and rude.

Our kids always come to me to ask for things. They are cautious of his moods. He has never been violent but there is more often than not a simmering going on underneath everything, but he's not even aware of the tension.

He feels he has got better recently and episodes have reduced but it's still there, on the road, at stores. He just had a disagreement with our child who can be very trying. He couldn't stay in the same room without exploding so he stomped away, talking under his breath and slamming doors and our child sat and cried.

I just felt exhausted from so many years of coaching different behaviour and intervening and calming things down. So I tried to talk to him about how I feel, how I'm sick of feeling anxious and unsure of what will set him off. He got upset and said he's a lot better and I don't acknowledge that and that I don't love him. That I'm saying he's a shit person and don't want to be with him anymore. I suggested therapy and he angrily told me to find one for him.

Over many years I can count on one hand how many times I've spoken to him about how I feel. I always make excuses- he's tired, he's stressed, he's sore, he's not feeling well. The few times I have tried to bring it up, it ends in him getting defensive and blaming everyone around him.

How do I deal with this- just shut my mouth like I normally do and continue to keep the peace? I don't think he realises that years of doing this has worn me down and I'm just emotionally tired. I just want him to be calmer and not think the world is out to get him personally.

I have always thought of myself as pretty even keel through my whole life. There are just some days and I couldn’t tell u a specific reason as to why it happens. I will wake up one morning and be filled with rage from the moment I open my eyes til I pass out the next night.

Does anybody know why this would happen? I don’t like being this angry person but I also don’t know how to stop myself being so short tempered and angry.

Growing up my parents were always fighting with each other, and they were always trying to fight with me. This was basically 24/7.

The only way to get the fights to stop was to escalate them - someone would eventually say something so awful that it got us to realize things had gone too far. Then we’d all apologize, hug it out, and a few days later it would start all over again.

As a result, I got really, really good at arguing and figuring out ways to be hurtful - at picking up on people’s insecurities and weaponizing them. I could do it basically on autopilot, without really feeling anything. It was procedural - fight starts, say something mean but slightly true, wait for the tears and apologies, and go about my day. My parents acted like this was normal.

In college I brought this dynamic into relationships and friendships, and you can imagine how well that went. I did eventually realize that “making every situation into a nuclear conflict” was a terrible way to live, and in a more peaceful environment I started to relax.

Still, the old me would show up sometimes and every time it would be damaging to me or to people I care about. So one day - after a particularly bad argument with a girlfriend - I decided that I would just stop getting angry.

And it “worked”. I haven’t yelled at anybody in ten years. People who didn’t know teenage me can’t believe I could ever even be angry. I come across as quiet, reserved, and awkward. I’m much happier to be that than to be who I was before.

But, ten years later, I can’t handle any conflict at all. I have so much anxiety around arguing it’s debilitating. Minor disagreement with a coworker? Panic. Someone says something mildly hurtful? Panic. Meeting with a client who wants to debate something innocuous? Panic.

My communication skills are awful - if there’s even a hint of disagreement I forget how to speak. It’s messed with my career and my relationships, because I can’t express how I feel. I can’t get angry or stay angry at anyone or anything - even in situations where I objectively should be upset.

I don’t miss the anger, but I do miss being able to stand up for myself. Has anyone else experienced anything similar? If so, how did you approach it?

(I’ve been in therapy for 5+ years and while it’s helped me work through a lot of my past it hasn’t helped much with this.)

I mostly do this on Reddit and I also used to do this on Quora, and I'm not completely sure why I like acting like this. To think that I've browsed my subconscious pretty hard to find the reason why. The best I could come up with is that I get a certain masochistic satisfaction in making other people believe I'm just this edgy dumbass teen when I'm actually older than that because I'm somehow both confrontational and masochistic when I'm angry. (Reddit makes it especially easy because of all the smug Redditor types who like to pick on people whom they assume are younger than them or less sophisticated or having it mentally together less than them.) You guys know the reality show scene that is often used as a .gif which goes like, "slap me bitch"? That describes myself in my head when I'm in the mood to provoke people on the Internet.

I notice tht i get very angry/aggressive/physical abusive really easy , wanting to hit people/ walls. I dont want to be that way when im older especially to my future kids and husband and even my whole family. Im a teenage girl and I wouldnt exactly say i have anger issues but maybe i do idk but i know for sure this is a problem that needs to be fixed and i just dont wanna keep hurting my family and friends wit this awful behavior. any tips to chill out?

I’m having such a hard time. My (25f) mother passed 2 years ago and my dad is getting married to a woman from his country club. She’s decent to me but uninvited my (19f) sister from christmas because my sister had an episode on 12/12 where she showed up at their house crying. It was her bday and my dad ditched her. Long story short we’re all very traumatized. I called my sister terrible names yesterday and punched my dads window out today and it’s them who are the ones fighting and causing drama. Both my sister and I are visiting from out of town and my dad just sold our childhood home so we have to/are staying in an air bnb. I don’t know how to channel this grief/anger and have been through so much therapy I have been sent to wilderness programs. I feel helpless because it’s finally not my problems but I still have all this anger from the hurt I feel. How do I stop feeling angry when I’m hurt?!? I feel so guilty after every time.

My boyfriend (20m)and |(19f) have been dating for a year and a couple months, these past couple of months l've been questioning if he is abusive or not. I'll admit In the most non pick me sounding way that I'm considered a weird girl and get called "annoying" by him and my family, I'm not actually this way I just joke around a lot with sarcasm. I'll "annoy" him when I'm bored and he tweaks out about it to the point where he'll hit and I'll hit him back or scratch him out of self defense because he won't get off of me, but since we're both hitting each-other it's fair? He uses that against me so much. We've talked about me annoying him and how I should stop when he asks which I agree.l'd get frustrated if someone didn't stop bothering me either. It seems like we have that conversation a lot but most of the time it's not me starting anything but by the time the whole "fight" is over I start second guessing myself about if I did something first. This just happened a couple minutes ago but sometimes I can't help but just laugh about what happened but I don't think it's funny at all, I try my best to cover it up because as soon as he sees me laughing he won't take me serious anymore and thinks we're playing, he's alot stronger than I am and I get so scared that one of my bones is going to break, he tries to help the situation once he sees I'm hurt by laying on top of me while trying to hug or or pulling me back into the room when I try to leave, I don't want to be touched after that but it seems that because I hit him back I don't get to say anything, or he says something along the lines of "u see how u tell me to stop and I'm not, well that's how I feel" UGHHHHH

Hello all. Im a practicing buddhist/taoist and am fairly new to reddit. I practice martial arts to cope with rage and confidence. As a part of the us air force i meed help managing rage.

Very rarely do i feel fits of rage. I get quiet and my mind runs rampant contemplating this of violence. I used to ponder suicide and now homicidal thoughts come about. Hate like emotions come up and feelings of wanting to destroy things come about. Martial arts starves these feelings but due to financial and time obligations i have not been able to do it. Martial arts has been a safe place for copng and bringing me happiness in this monotnous day to day living under the tyranical rich and politicals. Now that i dont have it much, i have found myself in Sale botttles and in isolation. I reeaaaally want to go on a rampage and see how much destruction i can cause..but my knowledge of the tao keeps that at bay also.

Not very helpful in my path is the fact i do hold looong grudges. Some i harbor since childhood. On a side note...my mother is a diagnosed schizophrenic and i am aware that it can be passed down genetically.( Damn that i let that shit take me)

My rage grows the more i think about the comstant fact that im...alone. No family, mo friends..at least not the sense that i thought as i did when i was a kid. Ive had a hard life as we all have, so im not looking for help for any of this, but it does help to at least get it out of my mind and onto a journal or "reddit" thank you for your time.

I have never dealt with strong feelings of anger until I became a mom. I have post partum rage pretty bad. Mostly it is just towards my ex. He takes very little interest in our son and when he does come around he likes to belittle and shame me for not keeping my house cleaner. I get so angry at him sometimes, I have set boundaries and when he starts calling me names and being mean he has to leave. But when this happens I go into fight or flight mode. I feel frantic. I want to violently remove him from my home. But I know that kind of a display would only upset my son. So instead I run into my bedroom with my son and we hide until he leaves. I hate how I feel during these interactions. Sometimes it feels like it takes a whole day for me to get control of my emotions again. I can snap at my son and have no patience for him. And that isnt his fault, yes he might push my buttons. But the reason for my shortness is feeling so angry because of his father. What can I do, how can I calm myself down so that my son isnt paying for his fathers actions. How can I make my ex pay and not my son. Not necessarily in a vengeful way because I know that rarely helps. But is there a tactful way I can give my ex a taste of his medicine that would help me enforce my boundaries, not be violeny but give me a sense of accomplishment that would resolve my fight or flight feelings?

Anyways had ,still have a single parent that would have episodes of bursting rage where she would find something as me not washing dishes, or literally anything to take it out on me..She,d continue with the onslaught of abusive words for at times over an hour and wouldn't stop untill she literally broke me emotionally. Started when i was a kid , got worse when i was a teenager. As a teen i developed digestive issues, dysbiosis and yeast infection which made me loose weight and feel tired and wasn't able to correct this issues despite going on diets etc. Verbal abuse continued through my adult life. After a while i confronted by parent that she probably contibuted or caused my gut issues , she apologised at one point but still kept on doing it here and there. Few months ago we got into a big argument due to her attacks and i just decided to cut all comunication cause i realised there was no other solution and got disqusted how she kept on doing the same thing despite having told her over hundreds of times to stop doing it. Now as time went by ,i haven't solved my gut issues, not having a relationship, lost over two decades of my life due to gut problems that destroyed my goals and relationships. I feel angry the most cause i lost time which i can never get back, and still in pain cause of health issues. I know there's no magic solution but just wanted to get it out there

Went to Christmas at my sisters house.

At breakfast they served coffee and other breakfast foods.

My girlfriend does not drink coffee but she drinks caffeinated drinks from Starbucks that are not coffee, so she ate breakfast and after breakfast I asked my father if we can stop on the long drive home at Starbucks, and he said no as he wasn’t willing to stop. I then asked to borrow the car as we drove together as a family and we went to pick up Starbucks.

When we got back to my sisters house to say goodbye I had a bit of a disagreement with my sister, she said she would never leave someone’s house to go get a drink, especially when your a guest in someone’s home. My father had the most disappointment and gave me a hard time about getting my girlfriend a drink for the ride home. He said it was rude.

What are your thoughts, are me and my girlfriend impolite?

Hello, I’m new here and not used to talking about my issues but I don’t know how to control my anger. I’m usually good at keeping every other emotion bottled up and not letting it out but I’m so quick to anger it scares me honestly, I’ve always been that way with anyone. I don’t know why I do it or what certain thing triggers me to get so mad so quick but I really don’t know what to do, I’ve had BAD blow ups on my fiancé and I’ve got a new 3 month old at home and when I can’t get him to stop crying but she can it gets me mad, I would never hurt him ever, he’s the most perfect thing I’ve ever seen it’s just I don’t want him to see that side of my anger when he’s older. I grew up in a basically single parent household, and I’m trying to give him what I never had. I’ve known my anger has always been an issue but now I feel like it’s peaked and now I need to fix it for the sake of my family. Is there any solutions or techniques I can use to quickly calm me down?

Hello everyone so I've been dealing with my anger issues for a while now, i consider it a "gift" from my father of sorts because even though he wasnt abusive, he had a tendency to blow up from time to time and I guess I interpreted that the only way i could be heard was by screaming (is what I'm assuming). They've never affected me as much, like yeah sometimes i would blow up over trivial matters but i didn't realise just how bad the problem was until i first got into a commited relationship. I've been with my partner for two years so far and around halfway through our relationship our honeymoon phase ended and we entered the phase where things get a bit tough in the relationship . I've always had issues with conflict resolution, I'm assuming because a lot of the time when i argued with my parents they didn't take me as seriously and sometimes flat out refused to apologise so a lot of times i enter arguments with that mentality, which either causes me to shut down and become avoidant or it fuels my anger(lately it's been more of the latter). My partner is usually a very calm and collected person during arguments whereas lately i feel like i just cant control my anger whatsoever and i just completely lose control of myself when we argue (not trying to excuse my actions, it genuinely feels like that in that moment). While i have never, and would NEVER, do anything to hurt them physically, when i feel disrespected or like I don't matter to my partner it feels like i can't contain myself from saying really mean things that i don't mean. And i hate it so much because I know that my partner is a really sensitive person and i love that about them so much but it feels like no matter what I can't stay calm during arguments. I've tried looking for advice on the internet (bc I'm a broke uni student and i cant really afford therapy) and all of it is just "calm down" "take a deep breath" "meditate" or whatever and I've tried really hard but it feels impossible to switch my focus from the angry thoughts in that moment. It hurts so much because this has been repeating for a while and I've been promising my partner that i will change and be better, but I feel like I'm no better than before, maybe even worse too. I'm also starting to see a shift in their behaviour where now when we argue they are more mean and cold towards me and i know that it's all my fault and it really hurts. Reddit please help me any kind of advice or criticism would be appreciated i just don't want to keep being a toxic girlfriend.

I have a younger brother and he has severe ADHD and really does not listen to anything I say. He is extremely lazy to the point where he will throw his stuff on the floor and ask other people to pick it up. I'm a few years older and have autism and issues around cleanliness so being at home with him is a trigger for me, although I do care about him a lot. He has always been the golden child which I have made peace with but it can get a bit much.

I've come home for the holidays and I don't have a bedroom to stay in so I'm sleeping in the living room. I've repeatedly asked him to leave because I wanted to go to bed and he refused, lying on the sofa and laughing, then saying 5 minutes, then 1 minute, and this carried on for some time. I told him to please leave and went to charge my phone and get ready for bed and he grabbed the charger and tried to take it away from me for his amusement.

At this point, I just felt an overwhelming rage (this has been the build up 2 weeks of this) and raised my voice, but he kept saying he would leave soon. I then gave him a poke with my foot and he lost it and started scratching me. I fought him off and then begged him, nearly in tears, to leave. He then played the victim but I just felt an rage of anger and sadness over me that this is the only way I can get him to respond to anything - if you're not emotional or begging him he will not co-operate. It scared me because I wanted to punch him at that point but I never would because I'm not that kind of person.

My parents won't listen to anything I say because he's the youngest and they let him get away with murder. He's now upset with me (or pretending to be) and I'm lying in bed feeling extremely guilty. Any advice for me? No one makes me as angry this quickly and I hate feeling or being angry.

mine are:

• colouring books
• 20 minute walks at a park I never been to
• zoom calls w/ fun cousins
• playing board games w/ homies

what's yours? ^w^

What can I do to control this anger? I recognize it's derived from the above feelings. I'm currently very angry at something major that's going on at work and it hugely affects me and my personal life. I can't seem to calm down even with the most known techniques (breathing, counting, thinking about other stuff, etc). I simply am unable to ignore what's happening and wish to feel better and not go into a rage burst, but I feel I'm about to explode

I’ve been hearing this for years and years and yet no one gives an explanation of how this helps or what to do after you’ve gathered that information. (Which that itself makes me pretty upset cuz it’s like.. ok thanks and??)) but doesn’t anyone have any idea? This is frustrating for me cuz it’s everyone’s number one advice and it feels like the most useless and invalidating advice you could ever give.

WHY AM I A GIRL. WHY. WHY DO I HAVE A UTERUS. LIKE BRO?? IM NOT WVEN AN ADULT YET WHY IS MY BODY PREPARING FOR PREGANCY. Its a bit too early, dontcha think??😊😊😊😊 im literally clutching my lower stomach as im typing this. Im in pain.💓

THIS IS THE SECOND DAY N IM GONNA BE ON MY PERIOD ON CHRISTMAS... i hate my life

I wrote this yesterday on r/vent BUT IT KEEPS DELETING MY POSTS anyways merry xmas!!!