Part of a greater concept (links between my symptoms) I am still unraveling from somewhere above my brain, just finding where/how the depression links/contribues. Undiagnosed but strongly suspicious of bipolar and ocd based on the progression of my symptoms. Going to see someone about it in 2025 but for now I'm picking everything apart and trying to "figure my brain out." Just curious if anyone else relates or understands this or if I'm finding connections that aren't there lol. Cheers

It’s been over three years since I got ill, and it’s been three years of constant moderate or severe depression, three «breaks» of hypomanic episodes of 2 weeks each inbetween, and months and months in the hospital. I’m 28 years old and now I have no idea who I am anymore.

I experienced a few years of depression and «trauma» in my early teens, but after that I finished high school with top grades, did mandatory military service, and finished four years of law school.

Now I am still depressed, have yet to finish my last year of law school, but most importantly, I feel like i have lost myself in all of this. I hope to find the right medication to be able to function again and not feel constant depression and existentional despair and confusion.

How did you find back to yourself after getting ill?

Where does this come from? I threw my keys so hard I broke my living room window. I blocked all my family after Arguing with them about stupid shit and I have to try so fucking hard not to turn this on myself and punch and scratch and bite. I'm in bed grinding my teeth, brain on fire, chest exploding, just trying to hold still, not do any more damage than I've already done.

hey all!! i hope everyone is doing okay! i was just wondering if anyone has experienced a connection between hypomanic/ mixed episodes and the need to constantly listen to music? it might be a bit niche but is love to hear if anyone else has this experience

I have been pretty stable for the last few years but this latest depression is having me want to take drastic action to end it all. I've forgotten how to cope with this, it's been so long.

I have many reasons to keep living and things to look forward to but the suicidal thoughts don't seem to care.

How do you all get through it without going to the psych ward? I cannot afford inpatient but I'm scared I'll do something bad.

Thanks for the help.

I saw the horrible side effects and I don't wanna have to deal with that shit.

I am currently hypomanic and sleep is hard because of racing thoughts, but I have insomnia while depressed too for different reasons (anxiety mostly).

I was just diagnosed with BP2 but barely, so my doctor recommended Zyprexa low dose to start and see how it works on me.

She said I can start on 2.5 or 5mg only and keep it there for a few months.

What is your thoughts on this?

This year I had to move out of the city and rejoin my parents because of a bad episode. I lost my flatmates, workmates and the few friends I picked up in the city.

I then had another episode in June where two of my best friends walked away from me.

And now... my closest best friend AKA sister has now stopped talking to me. She wouldn't even let me give her daughter the Christmas presents I brought.

I know what you must be thinking, the common demoniator is me. I'm not disagreeing.

I've tried so hard to manage my BP. I've tried so hard to take accountability. It just wasn't enough.

I'm so depressed. I have abandonment issues as it is but this... this is another level of pain.

original post/beginning of concept: https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar2/comments/1hovtna/its_5am_and_im_up_connecting_dots_lol_not/

ik it's kind of everything all at once rn but like. does anyone else see anything in this? yk? going to see if i can map it all out and define it more in it's own lil diagrams etc, then i can make a bigger mind map and pin point big picture correlations/symptoms

this feels so cool, i haven't felt interested in anything like this in what feels like forever. feels like my mind is actually running at normal speed rn

About 5 months ago I had went to a doctor to speak about my symptoms of depression, irritability, and impulsive behavior 1-2 weeks before my period. She asked me a bunch of questions & I guess some how she came up with the verdict that I have bipolar 2 disorder. She put me on Lamotrigine & at first, it was working. I was happier, more energetic, I had a lot of motivation and I stopped threatening my husband with divorce. Gradually she went up in dosage until I ended up at 150mg.

Well, about 2 months ago I noticed that I started to relapse. I started to become really depressed again before my period. Same thoughts as I had before and I was really unhappy.

Well today I woke up and I just felt like a completely different person. I am really sad, on the verge of tears because I didn’t do as good on my workout today. Also my husband is upsetting me over something that I normally would not get upset at. I just start noticing all of the wrong in my relationship instead of the good.

I’ve read that you can’t be on Zoloft and Lamotrigine at the same time, but I have no idea how to make the switch. I do have a doctors appointment tomorrow to speak about this, but I wanted to know if any of you have experienced this?

Hey I was diagnosed with bipolar type 2 and one thing I’ve noticed that’s really challenging is paranoia — thinking people are out to get you, mainly my friends, or like they have bad intentions. Or thinking some spiritual force is telling me this

Has anyone experienced it? It makes me feel like a bad person and like I’m not seeing clearly.

i guess i’ll try to make it short, but i hate being bipolar and how it makes my brain work. i have really bad paranoid delusions, specifically where i think my partner is cheating on me and i think people are spying on me or listening to me.

the delusions with my partners cheating have led to the end of my marriage, and i wasn’t able to see that my delusions were delusions until a long time after the fact, but it’s too late. i ruined my marriage and now my husband is dating someone else i can’t fault him for having feelings for someone else after i left but this whole situation really makes me feel like shit because i fucked up so bad, and i want him back, and not being able to work on our relationship and fix my mistakes is really eating away at me. i hate myself so much and i hate everything that i’ve done wrong and it’s all because of these stupid delusions and i fucking hate it i hate being bipolar i hate having to go through this i ruined my own life and i have no one to blame but myself and it makes me want to not be here anymore. i miss my husband so much.

I was recently diagnosed and I don't know how it affects us but I would like to know more.

My psych threw the word PTSD out at me, and I’m starting a new meds because of that (and the known anxiety I have). I never thought any of my life experiences have resulted in having PTSD. Sure things have been traumatic, especially recently but I don’t have nightmares or frequent flashbacks or anything severe.

I’d like to know your backgrounds and insight and experiences with PTSD aligned or not with your bipolar..

I was diagnosed with bipolar II 7 years ago when I was in highschool. At that time I majorly had symptoms of depression and some times I would turn creative and joyful with no concentration and irritation and both these would occur at the same time or within the same week. I was prescribed lithium and sertraline which worked for me pretty well for next 4 years. In college however due to stess the symptoms started showing up again. I would have weeks of irritation, lack of concentration, highly obsessesed with shopping coupled with depression followed by few normal weeks and it would happen again. In a month I would have two of these cycles and I thought I had a rapid cycling even though my depressive episodes weren't intense.Later my psychiatrist suggested stopping sertraline as he thought it might have triggered hypomania, but it resulted in full blown depressive episodes. Now I am confused as to which constitute one bipolar episode. Do I have rapid cycling? Or is it just hypomania? Because for 2 years I have only been having hypomania symptoms with one or two depressed days but a very intense depressive episode started only after stopping the antidepressant. Were my symptoms less intense because of medication? Can medicines alter the nature of bipolar? How can I Identify one complete episode?

The title pretty much. I feel like a lot of times when I get a little bit of energy and start listening to some hype music it triggers my hypomania. Increased libido, increased energy, way more focused at work.

I’ve been jumping around dancing for a combined total of probably 4 hours a day, driving around listening to music for hours, and hardly sleeping. All of this after a very painful breakup at the beginning of the month that I have not recovered from. BP2 is such a ride.

Every time I dump ‘em outta the bottle it’s like “Bupropion! I choose you!” or “Goooo Lamictal!!!”

No question, just sharing.

I have assembled a list of supplements that help promote dopamine production. Please share which supplements you are using.

I have been taking a coding class online for over a year now when it should had been 10 months. I have gotten about three extensions and I had to ask for breaks twice because I felt I was losing it.

I should have quit a long time ago but I kept on going. I am on the last project and it is the hardest so far and honestly I just don't understand it at all. Once the project is done I need to have an assessment where I'll give a presentation on the project and then the assessor will ask me about it. I am not ready. I probably never will. I have gone through course work twice, watched youtube videos, just tried different resources to see if maybe I'll get one of them but haven't.

I already told my mentor and the class administrator that I don't want to take the assessment. I got so nervous during previous assessments (where I did understand and could explain things) I remember one time (I know I did a bad thing) I took 3 propanolol instead of one to calm down.

If I were to pass then I'll get a diploma but at this point and how I'm feeling I don't care anymore. Everyone is telling me to take the assessment but I can't even work on the project because I lost all motivation and it's almost painful.

Am I crazy for quitting right at the end? I know I won't pass even if I take three assessments. I just really want to be realistic.

I keep thinking back to an episode I had earlier this year around Mardi Gras in February. I had just switched meds and I thought I was feeling better but then my confidence in myself started feeling more erratic and less genuine. I had just started using dating apps and I fell for an escort scam, since then I’ve been questioning my judgment. When I’ve had episodes in the past they’ve felt more full on delusional but this time felt different where I was more in control but not grounded in my logic. When yall have had episodes how do you differentiate between manic and hypomanic or when you have a manic episode can you not really tell you’re manic and you can have self control during hypomania?

Is this even a logical question?

I wonder a lot recently if there is truly an ‘us’ and then ‘bipolar’. If we’re simply a person with more extreme swings of mood that can tip into states that psychiatrists and society at large don’t accept as falling within the ‘normal’ range of human emotions/experiences. I’m sure many of you here get this so I’d be interested to hear what others think…

Is it normal that I struggle so much with relationships? Is it a characteristic of bipolar type 2?
It is a constant throughout my life since I was a teenager.

For example: yesterday and the day before, I felt relatively calm and balanced. I sent a few sweet messages to my partner. However, today, I experienced a lot of stress due to external circumstances (a shopping mall réally overcrowded with people), and suddenly, I found myself crying in my bedroom because I feel unhappy in my relationship and think I need to end it.

Fortunately, yesterday I wrote down on a piece of paper how satisfied I was with my relationship. To be clear, the relationship is far from perfect, but when I feel okay, I also feel more okay about the relationship. Or is it the other way around, and do I feel bad because the relationship is bad?

I know I’m spiraling, and I hope I can reach a point where I can look at these things rationally.

Does this sound familiar to some of you?

I’m prescribed Seroquel purely for when I’m hypomanic or otherwise having trouble sleeping. I try to take it as little as possible and try melatonin first. But at what point in the night do you realize you need the Seroquel and take it?

I’ve been stable for a bit.. I’m so worried still that something really bad will happen. I never say I’m happy I say I’m stable..