I'm a super boring person. I go to work, take care of my kids, and hang out with DH. Why she is still obsessed 3 years later is beyond me. I'm not special, I'm just wife number 2.

I just went outside on break at work and see BM's car do a slow roll by, make a U turn at the light and slow roll past in the other direction. Yes, I'm at work. Why do you care? The kids are with her! Go spend time with them, go to your job and work, go visit a friend. Do something other than check up on where I might be. I was half tempted to wave at her.

Posted here a couple of days ago about how DH invited SD and SS over to our house (separately, because these kids hate each other other) for half of my break from work without asking me and deleted it, because I thought I should just get over it. SD is leaving the house today to go back to her Mom’s, and I figured SS was supposed to come over this evening/tomorrow. Come to find out that SS is due to come over tomorrow and the day after, leaving me three whole days of no kids. On a 12 day break from work.

DH seems to think that everything is fine, I’ve been playing well with SD and I told him that he’s welcome to bring SS as he’s already invited him (and just ignored me) so it would be rude to SS to take that back.

I’m a door mat. Spent this whole time with SD cleaning up after them both and fuck me, I guess I should have said no to SS but then I’m the bad guy. Again.

John and Julie Gottman talk about resentment being one of the four horsemen heralding divorce. Wonder how many years I’ll be putting up with DH just making plans with his bratty kids before it gets too much.

I gave DW $1K to buy gifts

and stuffed SKs’ stockings because DW always forgets.

and took BS4 to buy SKs a round of gifts.

And gave DW a sentimental gift from her childhood as well as an expensive bathroom remodel that she wanted. Stuffed her stocking. Lots of nice gifts for her.

And paid over $6K for a vacation to a place SKs wanted to go.

And paid for them to bring a friend.

And gave DW $150 to give to SKs, asking her to tell them to pick a Christmas gift from me.

DW took credit for the $150. Told them it was from her. Didn’t take them to get something for me.

They are 12 and 16. I’ve been in their lives 8 years.

After a 6-day Christmas bonanza of the trip + Christmas morning, I woke up the 26th exhausted. DW woke me and BS4 up at 2am and it took us forever to fall back asleep. I laid down on the couch tired. I was also irritated with DW because she has ADHD and makes SO MUCH NOISE at night banging around looking for dopamine hits. It’s inconsiderate.

She scolded me for “ruining her good mood with my bad energy.” For laying down and resting. She said it in front of SD12 & BS4. I took BS4 to my mom’s hotel and wept. DW told me I was playing the victim.

If you’re considering this stepparent life - don’t.

I know SKs hate me, and they shouldn’t give a gift if they didn’t want to. But God. How much more can someone give? What would it even take to make these people happy? I am not a cartoon character - I can’t be perfectly energetic and happy all day long.

I definitely didn’t expect to do it on Christmas Day, but he wanted answers for my distance and I had put it off long enough. I think he is taking it okay, but it has been emotional. We are figuring out plans and doing things quickly to not drag it out. The kids are still with us, though we had most of today alone while they went to their mom’s. Neither of us have any idea how to tell them and that’s my biggest worry right now. It looks like I’ll be moving “home” until September which really sucks. I would appreciate any positive words or advice. I know we’re making the right decision, but it’s scary.

My husband's daughter is 20 and living at home full time. She goes to University which is good she's at least doing that since it's a fight to get her to do anything. Still she would never consider even trying to get even a very part time job to pay for a few things on her own because she's physically lazy and wouldn't bother applying for any entry level job since that's beneath her. Honestly, even if she worked just four hours on a Saturday or Sunday that would give her enough money to pay for a few groceries on her own. She works full time during the summer and saved up 10 grand but has never paid for anything with her own money. My husband said she paid for her own tuition but I can guarantee she didn't and he ponied up all the cash. Just recently she needed a new laptop and she agreed to pay half but my husband let it slip that she didn't pay him anything. Apparently she can't take money out of her account since she doesn't know how to etransfer and also doesn't know how to use the atm to take out cash 🤷

I hate to be that passive aggressive person but I've resorted to pointing out how expensive it is to feed her and making comments about how she takes such big portions leaving nothing for others. She always makes sure to come to the kitchen and help herself to the more expensive pre-made meals as well. Meanwhile, my husband is eating ramen noodles and KD and seems unwell lately. For Christmas, I got him some gifts cards for groceries. It will just end up buying food for his little princess since he is all about making all the sacrifices in the world for someone who deserves nothing. I can't wait until next year when the second kid is in University and will put us through even more financial ruin. I suggested that they apply for scholarships but they won't because they're lazy.

Tonight was eye opening to say the least. I would say me and SD9 have a good relationship, no major issues that I was aware of. We joke around a lot, I’m nacho when it comes to discipline, basically I let her father do most of the parenting when it comes to the non-fun stuff. I have 2 BD with my husband. Anyways, tonight I was heading out to have dinner with a friend. SD asked when I’d be back, I told her in a couple of hours. She looked disappointed and said “I just don’t want you to come back. I know that’s rude to say though”. I was shocked and all I could come out with was “Well sorry to disappoint you”. I text hubby while I was out and told him what she said, he was equally shocked. When I got home she was at the table drawing and I saw that she drew a picture of herself and her dad, not her little sisters and certainly not me. That’s the first time I’ve seen her draw just the two of them, and it all clicked that maybe she feels jealous of my relationship with her dad. Maybe she’s envious that her little sisters are here with their dad full time and she’s not. It’s just interesting to me because he’s always showing her affection and attention. She’s here 1/2 the week, but maybe she is craving some one on one time with her dad. I’m trying not to take it personally, but my feelings are a bit hurt.

Is this normal? It's two of the four step kids that are screaming. It's SS9 and SS14, they wrestle constantly. It starts off as playful and always ends with them being very aggressive, hurting each other and crying. They do this a dozen times a day. First screaming, laughing to a volume that you can hear it loudly any room in the house. After about 15mins of this their voice start become frustrated and aggressive, screaming things like "stop kicking me". This goes in for another 10ish mins before one or both of them is chasing their dad down telling in each other while crying. The whole time this is happening Dad is screaming even louder than them a couple times a minute for them to "stop". They pay him no attention. When I voice how much I hate this dynamic and want it to stop my SO proclaims this is normal boy behavior. I am child free and I fucking hate living in this chaos. If it's normal behavior for a child then fine, why can't they take it outside? Maybe I'm too old to remember but I don't recall any of my three brothers doing this. I think my SO is telling me it's normal in an attempt to gaslight me because he allows it. Why is he screaming "stop" over and over if it's so normal?

Sorry I wasn't sure whether to tag this as support or vent, and I'll try to keep things short and sweet.

I (27f) and my husband (37m) have been together for almost two years and I've known his kids for about a year and a half, he has a boy who's 7 and a girl who's 5 years old. A bit of backstory/context, we live in a small town (less than 2000 people) where I moved here as an adult when the rest of my family moved to Florida and I moved to a northern New England state and he's lived in this small town all his life. I'm his third marriage but he's my first husband, first engagement even... First he married his highschool sweetheart but she left him for someone else while he was on deployment, since they grew up together their families are very close so she still comes around to family functions, they never had any children together and she's always been polite to me although you can tell things are awkward when we're all together. His second wife is the mother of the two children, she also left him to pursue another man and is engaged to him now, and she is very high control/high conflict and will use the children to manipulate his family members where my husband doesn't have the best relationship with his family and doesn't communicate well with them, she uses the kids as pawns and will withhold his family having visitation on her time unless she gets her way of certain things.

Christmas rolls around and we had the kids for an extra week while their mom was traveling to see her family out of state. We planned to trade off at my husband's mother's house after doing gift exchanges with his family. This is my first Christmas spending any time with his family. Another aside, I do all of the communication for my husband and second ex wife because they literally cannot communicate cordially with each other at all, even on behalf of the kids without because volatile and hurling insults. She's nice enough to me and we keep communication solely about the kids from pick up/drop off to doctors appointments and school functions. Both kids love me to pieces especially the boy, we're gamers and it's a huge bonding thing where we all game together.

At this get together my husband's three siblings are there all with their spouses and children, including my husbands first wife and her parents, her husband and their three kids plus my husband's second ex wife. There's a tension in the air and things don't quite feel right to me and I mentioned it to my husband but he brushed me off but said we would leave as soon as we possibly could. I'm sitting in the living room away from the commotion in the dining room/kitchen when his mother comes into the room and sits across from me on the recliner. She tries to make small talk and asks me if I've lost weight... I'm literally about to pop from carrying my first child and I'm so shocked I don't even know how to respond, before pregnancy I went from 139lbs (5ft height) to 96lbs from what we thought was stress coupled with morning sickness and I really wasn't feeling all that great about myself. I tried to take it as a compliment and in my head was like it's just the hormones it's a harness comment. I got up to go get my husband and he was fixing plates for the kids and I mentioned I wanted to wrap things up asap and to see if ex wife could take things from here. He goes and talks to his mom and she said we could start the gift exchange.

His mom got each of the kids new bikes, which they were so excited about and wanted to try them, but we have 2ft of snow on the ground and it would be pretty difficult to do until snow melts in the spring/summer. Husband gives his mom a gift, and gives the kids the gifts we got his his ex wife on their behalf. It was anything extravagant but it was a necklace that had each of her children's initials on it on a simple silver chain. She rolled her eyes and said it was cheesey and tacky but the kids didn't noticed and the girl asked her mom if she would put it on and wear it. My husband's mom then called the kids into the kitchen and they came back into the living room with presents. One for first wife, one for second wife (their mom) and one for me. I looked down at the present and felt the heat explode across my face, on the label it literally said "To: The Ugly Wife, From: Santa." When my husband saw this he lost his shit. Just started screaming and demanding to know who put his kids up to this. I didn't say anything just walked out and went to go sit in the car. He came out after about half an hour and I was still crying and I asked him what happened. He said first wife's label said, "The Sweet Princess" and his second wife's said, "The Beautiful Wife" and that no one would fess up to who did it. He brought out the present that was meant for me and said he brought it with him so I could open it. Inside was XXL shape wear. I literally couldn't contain just this immensely awful feeling I had and we had to pull over a few times because I got sick on the way home. He said no one there except his older sister stuck up for him and I and that as far as he was concerned that they were all dead to him.

I've never been nothing but nice to these people, I'm autistic and have a hard time with social cues and making friends in general and would go out of my way to try and make small talk and get to know his family. I don't know why they would do this to me. I'm just grappling with all of these feelings and I wish more than anything I didn't have to worry about my baby being on the way so soon when I'm feeling so bad...

If anyone can offer me any words of encouragement or at least tell me this will get better, I am just crushed and I don't even know how I'll face his kids when we pick them up on Sunday (we have an every other week schedule). 😭

Ok, here is another story. For about one year I was in relationship with a divorced man. He has two kids 4 and 5 years old.

His ex is dramma queen. I have no kids. I am 30 years old, I am good educated and I have a good job. I broke up with him once because I didn't want to be a stepmom. I left him. It was not easy, because I love him. Couple of months ago, he tried to be with me again. I started to talk to him and I took it slowly.

He really tried to make me happy and I am sure that he has feelings for me. So I thought about to give him one more chance. Yesterday he talked about marriage and a child. He wants a child with me.

Today, he went to see his kids. His ex-wife fainted from stress, the children saw everything and are scared. They are afraid and crying. He is taking all of them to the mountains tomorrow. All together.

I’m sick of everything. I’m sick of his problems and his kids. I want to erase all of it from my mind. I want to scream with all my strength right now. To anyone who is young and without children—stay away from divorced parents. Actually, just stay away in general.

ps

I have just blocked him. Tomorrow is a mew day and I will be fine.

Having an issue that you just want a quick vent about and not an entire post? This is the place! This daily post is not very active, but it's a great place for a quick vent .

I hope I’m in the right group if not someone please redirect me . Step father here. 5 year old step daughter has always had issues with potty training she’s had issues with constipation and we had things fixed for about 6 months .

Then her father had a baby and the week her brother was born it was a 100% regression so we put her back in pull ups and started therapy and went back to the doctors . Well, this situation has turned into wiping feces on blankets, her mattress , walls every thing . It’s worst at her father house as she hates her step mom ( women who had the baby) but we’ve noticed it here too. She will literally poop in blankets , wipe her poop covered hands on things .

We have tried everything we can think of . Taking things away , giving her things to do, playing with her giving her a job such as helping around the house to give her a purpose and positive praise , giving her rewards when she doesn’t do it giving her positive attention such as reminding her we love her. Therapist she tells us we are doing everything we can, her pediatrician who says nothing is wrong with her physically . We don’t give her attention over it as we’ve been told this is what she’s trying to do she wants any attention she can get . We aren’t having these big huge screaming blowups at her . She admitted to step mom and the therapist she’s doing it with step mom because she hates her and wishes she would go away and step mom is scared to have her 3 month old baby around a child whose retaliating against her with poop , but we don’t know why she’s doing it here .

We tried to ask her why she’s doing it at mom’s house and she looks at you with this deer in the head lights . Blank stare right through you and says “I don’t know “

this sounds more like a psychological issue but we’ve tried to ask therapists we’ve tried to ask doctors and no one can tell us what we can do for it. What can we do?? This is coming SO unsafe and she loves the attention. The research I could do about this says to not give it attention which we haven’t but it doesn’t stop. She’s seeing here therapist weekly and even her therapist can’t get through to her as to what’s going on and despite the talks in therapy over it she doesn’t care .

I will not leave my partner over this situation so please don’t suggest that. While this situation is HORRIBLE I refuse to leave my partner over this or make it even worst for her kid by throwing them to the streets I just don’t know what will make this stop or if we need to find another doctor ..

I am over My 3 selfish adult stepchildren. They have always been not rude to my face , but just disconnected towards me. I gave up trying after my kids came to their dads for Thanksgiving (for the first time ) and they ignored us all by sitting in another room to have dinner. It’s clear they don’t like it when their dad buys me a nice Christmas gift and their way of showing it for the past 2 years has been to literally buy everyone a gift (meaning each other , their dad and their grandmother ) and then telling me mine is “a gift card via email “ that I literally never receive lololol He has finally clued in to this… and told them I go through the trouble of shopping for them and they have done this to me for 2 years . Their response …”it’s a gift card does she need it that badly ?? I’m not going to listen to this and you are getting bent out of shape for no reason.” It’s as simple as this : from this point on, if I actually receive a gc, I’ll use it to buy their $33 gift nect year . If I don’t , they aren’t getting a gift from me. I’m done wasting my money on them. Let me add … none of them are employed because they sued their living 97 yr old grandmother for their inheritance . They are just awful people . I don’t know how my sweet , kind, loving husband fathered such little twats. 30 and 20 something’s that literally have never had gainful employment yet ask their daddy to pay for things ….. it’s beyond my comprehension. Thank god my kids are GREAT.

Ok it's a phrase

"Weaponized incompetence"

A deliberate and targeted proclaimation of an inability to complete a task.

15 year olds am I right?

I (35f) have been with my husband (37m) for 12 years. He got divorced almost 14 years ago now. My SD 15 lost her stepfather over the summer. We have been trying to be supportive of BM as her mother also passed a couple months after she lost her husband. She also has 2 younger kids 5 and 7. We have always co-parented well for the most part. We spent thanksgiving together at our house this year. BM reached out and asked if it would be OK to spend christmas together as it's her first year alone. We hosted christmas dinner for both my family and husband's family and include SD's mom and siblings, about 20 people total. Shortly after MIL gets to our house, she pulls me aside and says we need to talk. She tells me that I can't have BM and her kids at my house again. MIL tells me that she can "see what I'm trying to do" and that this will be the last time BM comes to my house. I don't know what to say or where this is coming from. Nothing had happened. Everyone was having a good time and getting along. We are comfortable with BM being in our house, and you can tell that SD is happy that she doesn't need to split houses for the holiday. I was taken a back by MIL's comment. But after skimming this sub, it seems like many of you advise not to share holidays like this. Am I missing something? Could this be damaging to SD in any way? I'm not sure what is appropriate. I'm feeling very uncomfortable being around husband's family since his mother said that to me.

My boyfriend (37m) and I (34f) have been dating for about 8 months. He has a 7-year-old son who I met for the first time about six weeks ago. My bf and I did a lot of research and discussed how to best introduce me and his son - I met son’s mom first, we had a nice “get to know you” dinner and ended up having some really good conversation about this new scenario for all of us (I am the first person either my bf or his ex has dated since they split in 2023). When it was time to meet the kiddo, we took him to a kid-centered painting place and I brought him a small bag of his favorite candy, arrived separately and only spent about an hour together that first day. We’ve slowly increased the time spent on each outing, have taken him to dinner and to fun kid activities, and now have “graduated” to me spending time with the two of them at their house.

The kid is great, he’s sweet and cute and a bit enamored of me (which I know will change). I do notice that he doesn’t seem able to entertain himself and wants/needs attention from whatever grown ups are around. He is my boyfriend’s only child, but he does have an older sibling at home who he appears to not be very close with, and I’m very much not used to “singleton” kids - my family is huge, no only children, and almost everyone has a sibling within 1-2 years of them, so I’m way more used to pairs of kids, or kids who have a sibling close in age and are used to keeping themselves entertained at least some of the time.

There are a couple of behavioral things that I’ve noticed, all normal for a 7 year old but also things that he’s old enough to learn (clean up the toy you’re playing with before you take out another, say “excuse me” and wait your turn to speak instead of interrupting). If he were one of my nephews or little cousins (I’m the family babysitter) I would correct it without a thought and move on, but I’m hesitant to do it with him. I just want to make sure that I’m not overstepping or being a wicked (future) stepmother. I also want to reiterate that this is a good kid, both his parents are seemingly on the same page with the big stuff, and I’m not coming in with a “here’s all the things I want to fix about your kid” mindset.

I guess I’m just looking for advice - is there anything you wish you’d done better or differently at this stage? How did you handle the gradual increase of you as one of the “in charge” grown ups? What surprised you about taking on this role that I might not have thought about yet?

Fed up that every holiday season the parenting arrangements go out the window. BM decided that SD (young teen) can do what she wants over Xmas and NY after spending Xmas eve and Xmas day with her. This nicely coincides with my annual leave. We usually have weekends free and SD mon-thurs. OH has decided to take it upon himself to decide SD will now stay with us from yesterday to NYE. He didn’t even bother to ask me or tell me. I found out by asking. I hate the way he makes this decisions without consulting me. I also own this house, it’s my home. My holidays. It disgusts me the way he just does this and expects me not to feel upset. He hasn’t bothered to ask what my plans are, what I would like to do. It’s always about him and his daughter and what HE wants to do. I didn’t sleep, lay awake in flight or fight. I told him I was annoyed yesterday and he ignored me. Brushed it all under the carpet. I need to get out, but feel too much of an emotional wreck.

SKs (13 and 17) and their adult sibling (21) are all messy. BM calls it “normal kid behavior”and has the cleaning lady handle their messes at her house (thus, any actions we take to try to make changes at our house are likely undone when they go to her house). DH has tried so many things to just get them to abide by one rule…do not leave food or trash or dishes in your rooms (the “no food in your rooms” was attempted, we ended up in the same place which is them just doing it anyway). I hate to say it but we are at a point where consequences need to be drastic. Talking to them, punishing them, getting mad at them, nothing has worked. Any suggestions for consequences that might really send the message that we are serious, and they have to follow our rules?

Can someone tell me what DH and DW means. I’m so lost

MIL got SKs cologne and perfume for Christmas. She said “I got you something to cover up the stink. You’re at an age where you can’t shower enough”.

I’m rolling 🤣 I know that sounds really mean, but SKs DO stink and DH doesn’t enforce proper hygiene. I don’t think this will change the SKs or DH, but at least I’m not the only one acknowledging there’s an issue 😅

The only downside is that the SKs will pour the entire dang bottle on themselves, even though MIL reminded them that a little bit goes a long way, and that’s a whole other stink.

I’m still super upset about this. Here’s a rundown of what happened-

I hosted a small Christmas dinner at our new house, DH invited his father and sister. SS 3, had a busy holiday between his BM family and ours, so he was very overtired and being rude towards our guests. He wasn’t listening to DH either, but when I tried to correct and discipline his bad behavior DHs father and sister just laughed hysterically at me every time.

It fucking SUCKS. I try so hard to be a good step parent and help raise SS up to be well rounded, and then my efforts don’t get noticed or last night, get laughed at.

I should’ve said something and confronted them, but we also had other guests and I didn’t want to cause tension. Really though, I should’ve just told those two politely to get out of my house. From now on when we have SS they will no longer be invited over.

I expressed to her I strongly dislike being. A step parent. It’s been a Brutal Christmas. I bought him a $400 steam deck. $30 robot, $15 volcano, $30 science experiments for us to do and much more shit. I did all the presents with him while she stood around trying to play with his toys by herself. All for his mom to need help with something else financially.. I tell her Christmas kinda put me in a bind between her son and my family she say, “well you know I didn’t ask you to buy all of that, I had Christmas by myself” but might I add the literal only toys he played with on Christmas was the ones I bought him because I know him well and you know what I got for Christmas? Nothing. I will be honest though she found out her brother passed 3 days before Christmas. we also got into an argument prior because she stated she was only giving her son things for Christmas and nobody else which made me upset because it’s our first Christmas together and I have to watch him open all these presents while I get nothing. So me getting nothing despite her brother dying kinda stirred up the step parent feelings of “I’ll never be put first” even if she did spend the last moments of Christmas Eve looking for presents for him… not one thought was given for a single present for me. She admitted she was gonna write me a love letter which I’ve been asking for because it’s my love language but not hers and give me $100 Best Buy gift card since I like electronics but when her brother died.. she never got around to it. When I told my family she got me nothing, they claimed she was using me and her brother wasn’t an excuse but I have more empathy. sigh “she’s using you” sigh I’ve heard this so many times.

anyway, it’d been a rough Christmas. I also found out on Christmas my grandma might have early dementia. I expressed to her after Christmas that I don’t really like being a step parent because I do so much all for her to say “I didn’t ask you to” and ask me for more money. She says she wants to be with somebody who helps her financially whenever she asks but I don’t have any kids and I’m only 26 with my first real job trying to save up to move out so for me, Christmas was expensive and I told her in January I can help financially again but it’s like when I choose not to help, all of a sudden i dont help at all. It’s confusing and I want a kid with her but my god do I have to take up the financial burden of a child that’s not mine too? She says all she wants me to do is offer her help with groceries or gas when she needs it. I could if I didn’t already put in money for her son. We don’t live together yet because we’re both saving however her 1 bedroom apartment that I spend the night in just to be with her…. Has me scared about our future.

She cosleeps with her son every single night and tells me she’s gonna put him first regardless of how I feel about not wanting to cosleep which I understand. If he wants to cosleep, she will readily move for him to cosleep. I’ve seen this happen every night. He’s 6 and has severe asthma and he wakes up almost every single night because of his breathing and from a recent sleep study we also found out he has sleep apnea which makes matters worst. Because of this, she cosleeps every night and he literally depends on it to go to sleep it drives me crazy despite understanding I still feel lonely in my relationship because of this. We could be cuddling having sex, the second he barges in, “okay baby mommy’s coming” which impacts me because your child comes first but whew, idk how many more of those I can take when we actually move in. What’s wrong with a baby monitor to check on his breathing at night and enforce sleeping in his own bed. the second he sees her sleeping with me, cuddling with her midday, he pushes me off and asks me to move. We could be cuddling together comfortable and relaxed, he’ll come barge in between us asking me to move so he could be next to mommy I literally just move to another space because of this and she claims I move everytime he comes around or wants to be up under her and I’m fucked up for that but it’s like he literally asks me to move and makes me so uncomfortable just to be next to you.

Then if he sees us laying together at night he has to make sure “are you gonna sleep with me?” “Are you gonna get in the bed with me” She does explain to me if she had more than 1 bed room she wouldn’t co sleep even though the couple of first nights he gets his own room will be tough and she may give in which I understand as kids need time for change to take place and try to test boundaries. My whole thing is… let’s say I do get a 2 bedroom maybe even a house with her. I’ve already tried to talk about separate living because I’m not too fond of living with her son esp in this 1 bedroom and she asked me to move in but I literally have no privacy, space, or even space for my belongings. Her asking me that is a reflection of how this relationship feels, it’s only space for her and her son but my feelings and shit come after that always. I talked about separate living but she says she doesn’t want separate living with her partner as that isn’t ideal for her but I just don’t know how long she will give in to him wanting to cosleep and I’m not paying bills outside of my mother house for the first time with the inability to sleep in my own room because of him. Even if she says she won’t if he gets his own space… with his condition and his whining, I don’t see her making the necessary actions to ensure he’s comfortable and adjusted to his new space. I see her giving in. fear is she’ll give in and he’ll cosleep with us for years causing me to sleep on the floor in a space I pay my own bills.

And to make matters worst, before me and her son had a good bond and I was always babysitting but I guess the step parent blues has soured our relationship. From differing parenting styles, spoiling the child the way I never would, I think he’s starting to see my feelings regarding her parenting come out against him or he feels threatened because I don’t want to cosleep anymore like I used to and I take him away from her.

her son was very mean for Christmas, he doesn’t listen when I tell him to throw his plate away, he ignores me, when I sing he asks me, “can you just be quiet,” he pulled my hair (I have long hair so ouch), he literally bucked at me when she wasn’t looking and he has been pushing me to the side whenever he sees me close to his mom and sometimes she will say “be nice to him you wouldn’t like that if somebody did it to you” but it’s just so annoying having to go through because sometimes I just want to spend time with her without being annoyed to death by him. I know these are things you go through dating a single parent I know I know I can still be annoyed. And my god is his entitlement and privilege annoying as hell and she enables it. I think I’m starting to resent him and I hate myself for it. I just have fears about how he will turn out getting everything he wants and how it’s going to affect my lifestyle. After she said that I told her, I will never buy him anything else for Christmas or anything.. birthday but that’s it. We got him all these toys… even the the night before Christmas Eve she was trying to get him a toy he told Santa too late about. It’s like I have to tell her “it’s okay for kids not to have everything they want” she told her therapist she feels like she overcompensates for him because he doesn’t have a dad and she wants to be enough as a parent but shit it’s affecting me. He got all that shit for Christmas and complained because he didn’t like the type of VR mommy got him even more he was asking for more toys after opening all his presents despite the fact that she paid over $400 too and I know kids don’t understand the struggle of money but my god is it hard to watch a kid I’m supposed to be helping raise be so ungrateful and she continues to go out of her way to get him what he wants. He’ll be like “mommy throw this away for me” “okay bubba” “mommy get me some juice” “okay bubba” it’s like I’m choosing to tolerate a little guy who’s stealing the joy of my relationship and my wife. The night of Christmas Eve we were all tired coming from her mom’s house and we had wrapped all these presents for him and got on the road around 12ish. He expresses he wants McDonald’s and boy was the McDonald’s line long of course she gets in for him it despite us all being tired… we got in that line for an hour and never got food because they never came out and the whole time it was chicken nuggets in the house and he never ate anything when we got in the house and if it were me, I would have said no you can’t have McDonald’s eat the chicken nuggets in the fricking house I wanted to go home the entire time. I feel like she puts his wants before way too fucking much without considering how I feel and idk I know this is all over the place but I’m so tired I just feel like it’s best we don’t move in until her son is way older and less dependent, less of a nuisance but he’s 6 I’ve read stories bout kids cosleeping until fucking 12 and with his condition I don’t know if she’ll be strong enough to let him sleep on own. Idk Reddit, tell me if it’s it worth it to choose to live with them for my near future. Tell me if any of this is worth it.

My SO BM is so weird.

Like once BM texted that SD3 was sick, and my SO asked if SD had seen her Dr. BM went off about how she wasn't a bad mom and if she needed the Dr he could take her. He said okay, but she wouldn't release SD to his care. A few days later she takes SD, ear infection. He text to check in on her during that time and finds he's blocked, a few days later SO gets a picture of him in the hospital holding SD the day she was born. He again ask how SD is and she responds that she is the custodial parent and isn't required to tell him. SD was fine by our next visit EOW.

This one time he asked her to stop sending him pictures of SD, that they each had the right to their parenting time and he didn't want BM to expect the same in return. And she said she was sorry, she just wants to share moments with him. Then 24 hours later, sends a video of SD. SO literally replys with a screengrap of her saying that she would stop. And she called him manipulative, that he needed to go to therapy because she wasn't going to be controlled by him.

People around me keep saying this is just typical behavior for a BM, and my partner doesn’t react or engage with it. But honestly, it’s just... weird sometimes.

It's like one moment she's sitting in court screaming he's abusive and shouldn't have unsupervised visits and filing protective orders. The next minutes she's inviting him over to her house and telling him he shouldn't have a problem coming over because the order expired so there is no legal reason for him to stay away. Oh and shes a family court laywer, soooo.

Between her being crazy and the last year and a half of court apparences im so over it. Does it ever stop or is this like my life now.

So my SO gets his daughter every weekend she’s 6 years old, she refuses to do anything herself doesn’t clean after herself tho I tell her she needs to. Anyways, he’s gonna be working this weekend I work too, I work nights and my kids went with their dad due to Christmas break. He wanted me to watch her, but it’s rare for my ex to take the kids I want to enjoy this as much as I can. I try to be open to having a relationship with his daughter, when I get things for my daughter I make sure to get his daughter something too. She’s really unappreciative especially for Christmas. I enjoy my relationship with my partner but when his daughter is around I feel like im walking on eggshells. It’s like she doesn’t want me around I always tell my SO when she’s here you need to be tending to her she likes you being with her but he thinks I’m pushing him away or not wanting to spend time with him ! Like hello your child is here. Sometimes I wonder if this relationship going to work because he doesn’t get after her or correct her behavior.

My grammar isn’t perfect and this post is all over the place, sorry in advance but I needed to vent 😭

My fiancé has 2 kids with his ex wife. She purchases items that require installation. For example she got her daughter (his bio daughter) a mirror that needs mounting. My issue is the mother has caused so much drama in our home, sending emails speaking very degrading and negatively about me yet she asks her kids to ask their BD to install things in her home. She has a boyfriend who is a doctor of over a year btw. My actual question is does she have another option available or is my finance really the only person to install these things? He hates going there but then is guilt tripped to do these tasks since their daughter needs it down. Personally I did everything on my own while I was a single mom for over 10 years. Or if I got my kids a mirror I would purchase standing alone mirror. Are there services out there available as far as handymen?

Am I wrong for this? My step kids are 5 and 6 and have very demanding schedules with after school activities every day. On our weeks, I hardly see my husband. On their moms weeks, I hardly see him too because he travels for work but I still get 2-3 days with just him and I. Recently he’s been saying he wants to take full custody. He had justified reasons for it but I can’t help but not want this to happen. I told him if he did this he would have to cut their after school activities in half. My step son plays soccer 5 days a week (doesn’t get home till 8 or 9pm) with games all day Saturday and private training Sunday. My step daughter only has activities 2X a week so it’s manageable. But when I told him this it caused a huge argument saying “his son shouldn’t have to quit soccer to make me happy” blah blah blah. I never asked for him to quit, just scale it back a bit so we can all enjoy our lives. We almost never have time together as a family because he’s always off doing soccer with my step son. And if we had them full time, the responsibility to drive all over the city (it’s an hour drive there and back) while he’s working would fall solely on me. All of the cleaning, cooking, laundry etc already falls on me. I just feel like our marriage would fall apart and I would be miserable if we had them full time and I just wish their mom could be a better mom so we could all coexist in peace! He told me “they are only kids once” but I only get to live once too. I’m 24 and enjoy my time without them. I enjoy my time with them too, but it’s the balance that keeps me sane. I have time for me, time for my husband, and time for them.