My wife and I have been having issues. We went to couple therapy a week before Christmas and then after one session she said she wanted to separate.

I wasn’t happy; I really wanted to continue with couples therapy through the holidays as I saw improvements already from one session.

Life has been awkward, we haven’t told anyone yet and she’s so zoned out, barely acknowledging me to acting like all is normal.

Today I got this text from a friend as we’re out.

“I know it’s not my business but I could’ve swore I saw tinder app on her phone”

She’s been hiding her phone activity and I could’ve swore I saw a dating app a day earlier but I ignored it.

Constantly on her phone and hiding it when I’m around. Acting super suspicious.

Don’t know how to confront her, kinda want to ignore it until we separate money and possessions. I know we agreed to separate but still seems way to early imo to start fucking some other guy after 10 years together.

I (32F) joined this sub after leaving my husband (33M) of 6 years in July. He talked me into trying couples therapy and after 5 months of separation and couples counseling we are officially getting back together. I am planning on moving back in at the end of January. When I first met with the couples counselor, I told her I was overwhelmed with relief at having escaped and would never look back. Well, we worked on our communication style and she sent us both to individual therapy where he worked on his anger. I told him I am returning tentatively forever. That if things go back to the way they were, that I will leave. He understands this. He says that if I ever feel like I should leave again, that he wants me to leave, because he never should have treated me like that and I don’t deserve it happening again. We had a good conversation on Christmas and decided to take some of the money we were saving for our divorce and spend it on a vacation to renew our vows. Wish us luck!

45M, California - Divorce After 16 Years of Marriage, Need Advice on What's Next

Married for 16 years with two amazing kids (ages 6 and 7). I truly believed I had a lifelong partner, but everything changed this October when my STBX (soon-to-be ex) told me she wasn't happy and wanted a divorce. She accused me of being an asshole and said I never cared about her. It felt like a betrayal on a level I’ve never experienced. She also revealed she's been unhappy for a long time and decided she’s had enough.

I asked if we could work things out for the sake of the kids, even suggesting marriage therapy, but she declined both. That was devastating.

From my perspective, things started falling apart when she got overly involved in volunteering for community programs. These activities became a priority for her to the point that she chose them over work, despite being the primary breadwinner (70-80% of our income comes from her).

Years ago, before our kids entered grade school, we were both working full-time. We struggled with finding suitable childcare and weren’t happy with the grandparents helping out. When the opportunity came for her to take a night shift job at a place she’d always wanted to work, I supported her decision 100%. To accommodate this, I left my job and took on part-time, remote work during the kids’ school hours so I could handle after-school activities, practices, and games. I haven’t missed a single event or game in three years.

The arrangement seemed great at first. She worked nights, and I handled the kids. But as the kids got older, her night shift and community volunteering meant she started missing more of their lives. On top of that, her focus on volunteering has led to financial issues—we're now $18,000 behind on the mortgage.

I admit I didn’t step in earlier to address this, and I regret not taking a more active role in our finances. I put my paychecks into the joint account and let her manage the spending, which clearly wasn’t working.

She’s already served me divorce papers. The financial split looks standard (50/50), but with the house in arrears, I don’t see how we can keep it. I’ve consulted a couple of lawyers, and they all recommend selling the house. I feel terrible about this because I know the house has been a big part of our kids’ stability.

My STBX wants us to try a bird-nesting arrangement (where we alternate living in the house with the kids), but I’m not convinced this will work. I’ve been the primary caregiver every day since the kids started school. I’ve attended every school event and every sporting even practice and every competitive games my kids were apart while she has missed a lot due to work and sleep.

I’m seeing a therapist to help me process this, but I still feel like my life is crumbling around me. I have a few days left to respond to the divorce papers, and I’m worried about how this will affect my relationship with my kids. My top priority is staying as involved in their lives as possible, but I’m unsure how custody and everything else will play out.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? What realistically happens next? How do I ensure I stay connected to my kids and maintain stability for them? My current fallback plan is to move into my parents home as they are nearby same school district as my kids but I'm very confused or not informed how does custody work?

I am everything we all are. I am lonely, angry, bitter at times, a former head of household, a former primary caregiver to children, presently a single parent, a full-time employee, a part-time keeper of myself, a dooer of seemingly everything for everyone, and I live in a world where no one seems to understand that at the end of the day, no matter what, good or bad . . .

It's just me

I take the kids to school. I cook. I clean. I work, I love them like crazy and I get it 1,000 fold in return. And you know what? It sucks, but I love it.

And I've done it twice. In the last six years, divorced with 2 kids, married again, divorced again. It was hard to make a family happen in the first place and even harder to blend one the second time.

But you know what? I'm good. You will be too. If you've made it this far, Im sure you had a good lawyer. Now find an even better therapist. Tell him/her/they what you always wanted to tell the him/her/they you were married to. Don't worry if they can't hear you. Do it for you. You deserve it. You've deserved better for the better part of your marriage.

We will get through this. I will get through it yet again. I feel no shame in putting my best effort into what I believed in, but let's all discover that unknown piece of ourselves that held us back. Let's set ourselves free.

Also if we get married again we should get a prenup.

And also try not to marry another childish asshole.

Much love.

Getting to the place mentally where I want to acknowledge the things I did in my marriage that prevented me from being the best partner I could be (and also, accepting that it does not serve me to hyperfocus on the things I feel my STBX did wrong). I can only improve myself, and that's exactly what I'm going to do.

So, what made you an imperfect spouse? I'll go first:

1. Extreme conflict avoidance (not sharing feelings, telling white lies to prevent fights, building resentment)
2. Codependency, neglecting other relationships and focusing almost exclusively on my spouse and his happiness
3. Stonewalling, mostly when I felt my experiences and feelings were being invalidated or when I hadn't communicated my needs effectively
4. Not taking responsibility for my own mental health, by allowing my anxiety to interfere with my daily life far too much and for far too long

Happy reflecting!

Went to the house today to get my and my son's things. Another woman left some of her things there, cleaned up the house, did his laundry, made up the bed and even left some of her daughters toys there.

I have a feeling this has been going on for months and I will be going for child support.

It just sucks no matter how it went down.

I’ll probably get downvoted like hell, but here is my opinion. After 3 months he moved out I started dating. Everyone on this group said I’m not ready, it’s not a time for healthy relationship and so on.

But guess what? This guy finds my favourite movies, he shows attention, picks me up, drives me back home, is interested how my day was. Everything my husband didn’t do. I’m not looking for a life-long partner, he knows that, but the attention I get helps me to believe there are other people out there. If you want to predict a terrible outcome, I’ll let you. But what I want to say, there is not one right recipee for all. So please be supportive and don’t jump in with strict advice, people work in different ways. In the end we all want to be understood and supported.

One of the rules we had set when we separated was to not bring other people we're dating around our child until we have been with them for at least 6 months. 1 rule!!!!!!

Yet he chose to introduce his girlfriend on their 2 month datingversary. He has only known her for 2 months and says he feels she's the one and knows everything about her. Like dude! Now I'm gonna take my little behind to a lawyer because I can't trust anything he says. My child's safety comes first and if that means making it legally binding that he can't introduce new people before a certain period of time then so be it. If that's not possible then it's no longer going to be 50/50, more like 80/20 because I can't trust his judgment!

As a side note, my dad used to do that and it messed me up real bad. Meeting new women everytime he felt like he was in love became so normal that I didn't realize the damage it had done until I became an adult. There were also incidents of groping from newcomers and it has led me to having trust issues. I don't trust a soul with my child until I get to know them.

Update: I finally spoke to a friend who is a family lawyer and although moral clauses may not be as enforceable in my state, custody related clauses are which is a formal agreement as to when and how the children are introduced to new partners. I feel calmer about it now and will still speak to another lawyer about my options (I've got the money so that's not the worry). Moral clauses are more about not dating, etc but thats not the one I'm going for.

I just don't understand why can't people date whomever they want but not bring the children into it until they get to know each other more. What's the damn rush if they feel it will be longlasting! The mama bear in me has come out. I wish I had my son with me always to avoid things like this.

It's been 6 years. The first year sucked but last couple got better. Now I laugh about it. Theres light at the end of the tunnel

I'm 60, M, and ending my third marriage.

Seven months ago, my father died after a long illness.

Two months ago, I was laid off after 7 years.

Nine days later, my wife told me that after 10 years of marriage, we were getting a divorce.

Frankly, I was relieved and agreed we should end the marriage. We hadn't been getting along well for years, and she had started sleeping in another part of the house. She was coming home late from work often. Over the last few months, she'd become verbally abusive towards me.

We are soon listing the house and splitting the proceeds. Since this is a no-fault divorce, it will be simple enough.

The week she announced the divorce, she started spending every weekend away from home with her "new friends." I'd see her a few times a week when she came home to sleep, shower, and grab fresh clothes.

After three weeks of this, I asked what we were doing about our annual New Year's trip. She had booked and paid for the plane tickets during the summer. I enjoyed one of our traditions: we would visit a new place rather than spend NYE at home.

She sheepishly glanced at the floor and told me she was going with "a friend." Sure enough, I could no longer access the airline reservations.

I took it in stride. Getting mad won't change the decision, after all. I've been taking emotional intelligence training over the last few years, and in this case, it really helped.

Given the circumstances, I did not want to go on the trip anyway, but she would not admit what she had done until I asked.

We celebrated Christmas separately this year. I visited my brother's family in another state while she stayed in the house. While I was gone, the outdoor cameras showed a flurry of activity as a man I didn't recognize started appearing. They'd leave and return several times over the next few days, and his car would remain in the driveway overnight.

When I returned last night, she had already left the house. When I texted her this morning, she responded that the flight was leaving soon and wasn't sure when she'd return to the house.

Over the last two weeks, I've been packing my belongings as I plan to leave and start a new life in another state. She hasn't packed anything yet.

Living in this part of the country was her idea, and after 8 years, I haven't made any real friends. On the other hand, she now has an active social life and someone with whom she spends much of her free time.

So, I'm taking a break from packing boxes to post this and vent. I hate moving, but I can't stay here. I'm not sad; I'm resilient and determined to press forward.

Backstory: we were together for 12 years, married for 5, filed divorce last year. My brother killed himself in 2016. I was diagnosed with ptsd a couple of years later, started meds a couple more years after that, and then the quarantine hit. While he was working from home, he began to grow more cold towards me. He would tell me I needed therapy and that he was almost done with me.

The colder he became with me, the worse I got. I would spend an entire day in bed. I just didn't want to do anything at all. I was wasting away, shower once a month, thinking of ways to die so that I wouldn't cause him issues. He told me right before our 4th wedding anniversary that he didn't love me any more then took it back the next day. But hearing that gutted me. Those last couple years together, we had zero intimacy. He wasn't affectionate and really paid no attention to me a lot of the time. He would snap at me for little things. I would eat gummies and sleep for a day.

He told me all his friends that he describes our relationship to tell him it was abusive. Then he blocked me last week. I've been trying to contact some of those old friends. They've started unfriending and blocking me. It hurts so much. They don't know my side of everything. I don't even know what my ex said to them to paint me as his abuser. I loved him more than anything and would never do anything to hurt him, but he hated how depressed I was all the time. The depression was at its worst when he pulled away from me.

I hate that these now former friends are probably thinking the worst about me. I'm hurt that they can't talk to me and hear what happened from my point of view, that I was pretty much abandoned. I'm angry that he blocked me and is dating someone else who I can only imagine is more stable than me. I lost a whole family, home, friends, my husband. Ive been doing so much better but having this happen has me crying my eyes out all day, all night because there's just nothing I can even do. I hate it.

I had a therapy session this week. My therapist believes I was misdiagnosed at one point and have autism. I worked for a decade assessing children with autism, so I definitely see all the signs. It dawned on me that this would have had a major impact on my treatment if doctors had only figured it out sooner.

I've been in the midst of a career change after finishing a full stack boot camp last year. I had a 2nd interview today but didn't get it because I'm unable to relocate. Anyone who works in tech knows how hard it is to get a job right now. It's even worse for a beginner like me. I only have the volunteer work I do with a TNR nonprofit to keep me busy. I feel like a massive failure. From the outside I'm an unemployed 41 year old with student debt, 3 cats who keep me going, and a tendency to cry a ton and shut down. And now people are being told I was abusive. I feel so hurt and betrayed. It just feels like too much sometimes. Don't worry I shower more now.

Judge has ordered me to pay my ex's $100,000+ lawyer fees in addition to my own less expensive lawyer. This is crazy. These people have made my life hell for the last 3 years and now I'm expected to pay them for it? I don't even have that much money. Is this normal?

I believe from my research it's possible but I wanted to know if anyone else has gone through this process. I want to hear your stories.

I'm a little scared. I'm 27 and will be moving back to the US in March. Specifically Texas. Spouse and I have no kids, no house, nothing important.

He will stay in Japan. I will go back home and start a new life.

I'm scared this whole process will be expensive but my mom said she would help me out.. most importantly she will be paying for my ticket home. I'm so happy for that.

Husband doesn't want to divorce yet and is calling this a break but I'm tired of what he's put my heart through.

I just want to go back home. I'd leave sooner but unfortunately I'm not heartless enough to let him go homeless here (even tho I really want to). The apartment belongs to my company so as soon as I leave he would have to get tf out.

Either way he has till March to find an apartment in Japan.

I'm getting a cat as soon as I get home. I was forced to put my cat up for adoption to be here with him. I sacrificed alot to be here with him.

I love him and I really can't understand why.

I miss you so much. Last night I had a nightmare about you telling me that you didn't feel anything for me anymore. And there were so many spiders. I woke up crying. The pain in my heart doesn't subside nor it seems does the love. I wish it would. I hate you for what you have done, ending things this way. All the lies. You lied about who the boxes were for. I think you changed the locks but I couldn't bring myself to check so I just left the keys in the letterbox. I couldn't take another blow. I don't understand why you left me this way. You said you wanted to remain friends. You said that you still loved me even though you were no longer in love with me. I moved out, she moved in. You lied about her moving in. You lied about who the boxes were for. You got rid of everything that was mine. You asked to expedite our divorce. You asked me to sign away my rights. I think you changed the locks. I hate you. I saw you both at the gym. You were patiently encouraging her. You used to do that with me. Until you started looking at me differently. I could see it. It made me anxious. It made me scared. It made me hold on too tight, I should have let go. We used to tease. It wasn't fun anymore. Holding on to critiques. Why did you clean my car the week you left me? I thought, perhaps we will make this work. I was so grateful. Petrol too. I sent some money, I knew you were short. I was so happy you had helped me get unstuck with that task. You said the money was emasculating. I didn't understand. I was so sad. I wanted to feel wanted. I felt so much guilt for our lack of sex. I stopped taking the nerve medication so I could feel again. It was only a bit of pain. I got scared after the first time. Started googling. Terrible idea. I thought you were going to ask for divorce and I realised I had no idea how that works. How would it affect me, you, us? No more us anymore. You changed the way you spoke to me. The only warmth in your voice came when you wanted me to agree to sign things, divide things, accept things. You wanted it over. Instant gratification. I yelled at you for moving her in. Only a week after I left. You had given me three. Far too painful to think every car coming down the driveway might be you. Surrounded by us. I yelled at her too, only a little. She left. Not for long though. Those boxes weren't for her. How could you? Why did you? What did you say to her? How could she be there? I hate you so much I want to stop loving you. You were my best friend. You were my person. I was so sure. For better or for worse. I was so burnt out. I was stressed. You were unhappy. I miss you so much. I miss my person. I was yours. You don't want me. You made me laugh. You were so strong. You were so determined. So smart. My person. You were a beacon. Giving light to the people around you. You cared so deeply. You hated yourself, I hated that. You were depressed. I didn't know how to help. I should have handled it better. I could have said things differently. I could have said different things. Now we're not us. I don't regret loving you. I hate that it hurts. I love you exactly how you are. I loved you when you changed and when you didn't. I love you now. I wish I didn't. I don't want to stop loving you. I miss our little home. Cuddled up on a rainy day. Projects when the sun was shining. The peace of being with you. Did you not feel that peace? Was it just me. I feel alone. Was I alone before I realised? Is that what you were trying to tell me? I thought you were figuring it out. You. It's nothing to do with me you said. Did you want it to be nothing to do with me instead? Were you pushing me away because you wanted me to leave or did you want to see if I would? It's done now. Are you happy with her? I want you to be happy. I wish I didn't. That's a lie. I don't hate you. I hate this. I hate this situation. I hate being heartbroken. I hate feeling betrayed. I hate losing each other's trust. I hate missing you so much. I hate thinking about you all the time. I miss the deep breath you take before laying out a new plan. I miss coming home to the furniture rearranged. I miss you holding me just because you can. I miss holding you. I miss our jokes and cooking up new ways to spend time with our friends. I miss the dogs, walking around the park and teaching them new tricks. I miss you beating me at every single board game but still playing them with me. I miss getting dressed up to go out. I miss you changing half a dozen times. I wish you could have seen you through my eyes, maybe you would have loved yourself. Why are we here?

I recently went through a divorce this past year. My ex wife initiated it and I didn't want it. It was literally one of the toughest things I've ever been through. I felt like I was rotting away from the inside. I can't blame my ex wife too much. I was a substandard husband with many flaws. The divorce went through and I started working a lot (18 hours a day) in order to keep my mind busy. I started to feel better. I think I am getting better, and then all of a sudden I'm crushed with grief again. I miss her so much. Maybe the grief is because of the holiday season, but it seems like every couple of weeks I have a setback. Does this happen to anyone else?

When you're on your deathbed and you're looking back on life, what would you say would be your deeper regret in life and why if you had to choose between these two paths:

1) I settled in marriage for safety and never experienced a true and passionate love of my life. 2) I found it (or not) but abandoned and broke the heart of my spouse who had truly loved me.

At first, I just wasn't interested in dating anyone else but my ex-spouse and I'd see maintaining a conversation with a new person as a chore. Oftentimes these conversations feel like "what's your fav color / what do you like to do for fun" which at 31 just makes me feel old and out of place on the dating scene. Occasionally, I do find someone I'd be sort of marginally interested in actually getting to know but if I'm being honest with myself it's more for the prospect of a physical connection than an emotional one.

It absolutely sucks to not have (or even feel the desire) to build emotional intimacy. I think part of that is because I'm still heartbroken from the marriage not working out. And I do hope all of this is just temporary and part of the transition. I wonder if others feel the same way? Or maybe felt that way and somehow overcome it? And how?

Sure, you can play a numbers game and just keep going out until you spontaneously click with somebody, but I've never liked leaving things to chance + I think it's more of a "me" problem and not the supply of options issue.

Can't believe I'm writing one of these. Married almost 9 years, have a 5 year old and an almost 4 year old. Wife has been suggesting separating the last few months over minor arguments. Been in couples therapy and trying to work through her anxiety and depression which she feels was brought on by feelings of resentment she's held since the birth of our first. I've been all hands on deck to save this thing since September but it feels like she's swimming the opposite direction. Today she said she has no more energy or desire to try and admitted she hasn't been trying. I'm at such a loss. We just built a new house together and daughter has made many neighborhood friends who all go to school together. I don't want to give up. I feel like a divorce is going to require lots of energy and it makes more sense to put that into saving our marriage.

I am deeply, madly, and completely in love with my STBEH. Every single day, I wake up with this foolish hope that he’ll call, apologize, and tell me this is all a mistake—that we’re meant to be together. But I know that’s never going to happen. The odds of winning the lottery are higher than that. He does message me daily, but his cold, detached texts about divorce logistics only deepen the wound.

The reality is, he doesn’t want me and didn’t value me—and I know I deserve better. I’m an independent woman with a great job, a loving family, and incredibly supportive friends. Yet my heart aches every single day and all I want is…HIM! I think about him constantly, and it’s utterly exhausting. I even decided to try medication to give my mind a break, but it left me feeling so sick—headaches, nausea, and I even fainted. Wtf medicine!!

I’ve tried everything: going to the gym (it helps for two hours, and then the sadness creeps back), cooking, therapy, cleaning, picking up new hobbies, reading a book. But it only seems to make things worse because it all reminds me of him.

I know I need to give it time. But how do I pass the time without losing my mind?

We have been married 22 years, this is a second marriage for both of us. Each of us had long term prior marriages. We have a lot of common values, when we met it was so wonderful. He was giddy and stopped strangers on the street to tell them we were getting married. We had a beautiful wedding and honeymoon. He was the only man that asked me if he could kiss me, and let me tell you how much I appreciated that after experiencing domestic violence in my first marriage. We are the odd couple that don't drink and are not religious. While we don't have kids in common, we have been a part of each other's grandchildren's lives from birth and diapers. We are both active in protecting the environment, I have become more involved in women's rights. There are two sides to him, gentle, supportive and kind. Then he can be critical- going through phases where everything I say he doesn't simply disagree, but lists many things of how my thinking is wrong. Our home is in boxes, we had things in storage then brought them out of storage. I have no desire to unbox things because we are talking to a mediator. I don't talk to anyone about it because I don't want to stress other people out. We have talked to several counselors, but he is in a state of indecision that I suspect will go on for years. Sorry for the long rant...

My stbx had an affair with a younger guy. Ruined my life. Ruined my kid’s life. Yet she gets half of everything and half of the 401k. Stupid no fault state. Can’t find over half of the paperwork we need. No idea what some of this crap is. And she gets half! Like hey, I don’t care about the trauma I caused but I want half of everything you provided. Ugh.

Me (36m) and my wife (36f), We’re currently going through a contested divorce, but recently there’s been talk of reaching an agreement to avoid a drawn-out legal battle. Both lawyers are encouraging us to settle quickly, especially since we have a 6-year-old daughter who will start elementary school in 2025.

My wife has presented two options:

1.  She gets full custody, and I pay her 15k compensation, plus alimony.

2.  We have joint custody, and I pay her 50k compensation, plus alimony.

Honestly, this whole proposal irritates me. It feels like she’s using our daughter as a bargaining tool to get a financial advantage. Is this a common approach in divorce negotiations?

I suspect her real goal is to get full custody so she can eventually move our child to her home country. She lowered the compensation amount for the full custody option to make it seem more appealing.

I’d appreciate advice on how to handle this, including the pros and cons of each option. Has anyone dealt with something similar? How should I approach negotiating in a way that prioritizes my daughter’s well-being?

Though it would affect me more than it did! But I wasn’t even phased!!! I had them signed and back to her over a month ago so I’ve done most of my grieving and consider what was to be dead at this point! It can never return and we will never be the same people after this!!!

Long story, I don't know why I'm writing this aside from maybe just wanting to talk to someone.

My recently sperated wife left her phone at my place after dropping off the boys. I went through her phone because she wants to be amicable and is adamant she doesn't want to go through getting a lawyer which I thought was mature of her, but I've had concerns about it.

She has been recently diagnosed with mild autism and I have been learning that some autistic people mask who they are in attempted to look "normal", and it is helping me understand her coldness I've felt from her for years.

We broke up 8 years ago prior to getting married, after dating for a couple years.

When we got back together 8 years ago, she wasnt the same person I fell in love with when I first met her years prior. She was different and cold but I was in love with the idea of the old her and thought this may be old baggage I needed to get through.

She rushed us to buy a house, get married and have kids. We had twins and right away something changed. She went from this nice person to someone controlling and emotionless - understandable when you first have kids(she gave birth to twins) but this didn't stop, even to this day. I struggled with the change alot, I had a high paying stressful job and she took extended mat leave.

I would try to be affectionate and she would always pull away, my ego was always hurt by it and eventually I stopped trying, I've always felt like she didn't actually want to be with me but always tried to make it work when I wanted to end things. I was too weak to put my foot down and end it, I would lose her entire family who I have a great relationship with as I have no family at all. I would have been so alone and sperated from my kids and that always made me back down in the end.

What I learned about her cold behavior is whats called burnout I think. She stopped pretending to be someone she isn't and she's recently acknowledged that, but not to me.

When I went through her notes app that was written a few months back there was a long note talking about how she cannot continue to be someone she isn't, and is still in love with the guy she dated when we were broken up 8 years ago, and that I could never fill that void and she knew that from the start and that she has been living a lie these last 8 years.

I also found out she has been dating while we were living together(separated), which wouldn't have bothered me if she didn't tell me I couldn't do it as it would hurt her too much, just to find out she's been doing it.

She mentioned she has been squirreling money away without me knowing in her texts with her friends - I have been wondering why we have been struggling with bills etc. I am quite shocked reading all this.

I have been diagnosed with ADHD and received a government payout recently for which I put to our debts, just to read about it in her texts to her friends laughing I used that money on paying debt and I'll have to wait another 7 years to get another payout, and she's glad I didn't spend anything on myself and laughed about the shitty car I drive while she's fucking guys in nice trucks. I purchased a crappy little SUV to save us money to help with bills after I sold my nice truck to help us have some financial freedom.

I am quite shocked by all this as I thought she was the person I always saw and lived with and quirky, but she has been living a secret life and it feels like I've wasted the last 8 years of my life with someone who didn't actually want to be with me.

I am sadden by my own ignorance and learning something I definitely wouldn't have if I didn't read what I read. Let alone the bashing of me to her friends like I am nothing to her(text messages).

I feel like I just woke up like Neo in The Matrix to learn that everything I thought was real, actually isn't.

Has anyone experienced anything like this? Would like to hear your stories to know I'm not the only one who was so naive and have their world turned upside down in such a weird way.