r/PregnancyAfterLoss • u/AutoModerator • 2d ago
Daily Thread Daily Thread #1 - December 26, 2024
This daily thread is for all members who are pregnant after a previous pregnancy or infant loss. How are you?
We want to foster a sense of community, which is why we have a centralized place for most daily conversation. This allows users to post and get replies, but also encourages them to reply to others in the same thread. We want you to receive help and be there for others at the same time, if possible. Most milestones should go here, along with regular updates. Stand alone posts are Mod approved only and have set requirements.
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u/Ewazd 36F | SB at 35th week April 24’ | 2nd trimester 🌈 1d ago
27w2d. I’ve been in a good mood for a few days straight. Third trimester is just behind the corner. It’s nice how time keeps moving forward.
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u/NagybolToth 1d ago
Awe, being in a good mood gives so much strength. I always gather energy from my good days to help me through the difficult ones. ♥︎
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u/SomethingClever_23 3xMMC - 3xD&C | OCT23 MAR24 JUL24 1d ago
I thought Christmas would be “easier” for me this year (hopeful/sense of calm) but I actually felt way more stressed, anxious, and not present. Every time I used the restroom I was checking for blood. Every time I tried to visualize next Christmas my inner voice was like “ha ya right”. I just want to feel optimistic and at peace…. Ugh.
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u/Mangopapayakiwi 35 | 12 weeks MMC Feb 24 | edd early April 2d ago
26 weeks and some days. I have been thinking about announcing my preganancy on social media but idk, it brings up pretty dark feelings. I want to talk about the miscarriage because honestly it helped me so much to read of other friends’ experiences. It feels weird to discuss the miscarriage and this current pregnancy in the same post. I know more and more people who simple never announce and then boom have a baby.
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u/KaylaAnne F30 | 1LC | 23wk TFMR 12/23 | EDD Feb 1 1d ago
Maybe a slightly different circumstance, but I chose to announce on my socials and I did talk about the baby I lost. I wrote about how complicated our emotions were, we are excited but still grieving, and my feelings on the term rainbow baby. Everyone responded really positively to my post.
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u/Brave_Painter_4363 1d ago
I'm one of those who's just not announcing at all this time.
With our angel, my father announced to everyone explicitly against our wishes, and then just a couple of weeks later had to tell all those people what had happened. We were furious our parental wishes had been disrespected and so now no one gets to know anything.
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u/Mangopapayakiwi 35 | 12 weeks MMC Feb 24 | edd early April 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yeah I just found out earlier today that my mother announced it on facebook 😤😤
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u/Brave_Painter_4363 1d ago
Argh. Some grandparents-to-be just go loopy and completely ride roughshod over what you want to do.
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u/Mangopapayakiwi 35 | 12 weeks MMC Feb 24 | edd early April 1d ago
She’s one of those facebook boomers (like an ipad baby but worse). She still doesn’t thibk she did anything wrong 😭 and I’m the one who is too rigid.
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u/Brave_Painter_4363 1d ago
Funnily enough, my father is also a boomer and just has no idea what he did wrong.
With our angel, he asked for weeks to be able to tell people, and when we kept saying no he eventually said at 20 weeks "I'm just going to ignore you and tell everyone" and immediately started making phone calls.
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u/Mangopapayakiwi 35 | 12 weeks MMC Feb 24 | edd early April 1d ago
Ugh that’s so hectic. I can only assume/hope it’s old age affecting their cognitive skills (for real, not a joke).
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u/NagybolToth 1d ago
I feel you. Not even my family know that I’m pregnant (I’m living abroad). I feel like I'm jinxing it if I tell anyone. I’ll probably tell my success story after my baby is here.
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u/Mangopapayakiwi 35 | 12 weeks MMC Feb 24 | edd early April 1d ago
Someone else I know just announced the birth of her baby without ever announcing her pregnancy! She had a second trimester termination last year. I also live abroad and told my family and friends mostly in person at 16 weeks. Idk I understand all different choices I just don’t know what’s right for me.
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u/InThewest 1d ago
I have an extra 16-week ultrasound with fetal medicine tomorrow, and it's putting a damper on Christmas and boxing day festivities. I know it's just the protocol after a tfmr, and we already know this baby doesn't have the same issues as our previous one, but I'm still so anxious something else could go wrong!
I just wish it late afternoon tomorrow.
One of my lovely colleagues (who's also had multiple losses) bought us the sweetest Christmassy ultrasound photo frame as she knew I had a scan this week, so I'm trying to focus on that right now.
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u/agirlhasnoname4444 1d ago
28+0 today. I’m 70% done with this pregnancy and I don’t feel like I’ve been able to really connect with her since the 20w scan (That’s when we lost our son last time). I’m avoiding looking at or touching my growing belly - saw my skin move when I took a bath the other day, and it freaked me out. Its somehow difficult for me to envision meeting my daughter in March when right now she’s just an abstract alien inside my body.
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u/6seasonsnam0vie 2d ago
We requested a 16w scan because I knew I wouldn't be able to tolerate waiting six weeks till the 20w scan. Baby looks great and we have near-confirmation of the gender from the scan! It brought up surprising emotions - I thought I'd just be happy, but the news also surfaced complicated feelings about the previous babies we've lost, and how we never got to find out the gender for two of them.
I wanted to start talking about names (just for fun), but it turned into my husband suggesting superhero monikers lol. So that conversation is tabled for another day.
The doctor said my placenta is low-lying but it's really early and there's no need to worry about it at this stage. I also brought up some other undercurrent fears I've been having, like whether the heartbeat might suddenly stop or cord accidents could occur. We were able to get a bit of assurance or at least more clarity on these issues, so I do feel better. I'm learning that it's better to just bring up the things I'm worried about or feeling, even if they seem like strange or silly questions. I'm thankful for a very understanding and patient doctor.
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u/Weary-Place-6600 1d ago
Yessss- I’ve started asking it all. Even if I know it’s coming from a place of anxiety. At one point I told my doc I was still nervous between scans and he said “no shit. You’ve been through a lot. That isn’t going to just go away,” that alone helped so much.
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u/starry_eyed_grl 35 🇺🇸🇸🇪| 3 MMC | 4 CP | EDD Aug 2025 2d ago
I'm 7+6 today. I woke up with a lot of cramping and felt like I was getting my period. I know this is normal, but I'm still spotting so it made me anxious. The cramps have calmed down now.
I have my next scan in 4 days and I'm excited to see how much the baby has grown, but I'm also really nervous. I know we've seen the heartbeat 3 times now, but I'm scared there won't be one anymore.
I'm still dealing with pretty bad insomnia and am so exhausted.
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u/Loose-Conference4447 2d ago
11 weeks 6 weeks today, I'm feeling less pregnant the last two days. I'm dreading my scan in 4 days. After losing my first MMC at 12 with those dreaded words "I'm so sorry". I'm scared to get in that room, absolutely terrified. I genuinely feel like I'll pass out in that room.
Anyone else feeling less pregnant coming up to 12 weeks?
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u/InThewest 1d ago
I'm 16 weeks now, but my nausea started waning at around 10 weeks, and I was terrified. We'd even seen baby at 9 weeks, but I was still going into panic mode.
We've had 2 bad 12-week scans in the past, so I completely understand how you're feeling! I had a session with my therapist 2 days before, which really helped. She recommended doing something nice the night before to try and get my mind off it, and to enter the actual waiting room at the last minute possible.
Good luck! 💌
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u/Loose-Conference4447 1d ago
Entering at the last minute is a good shout. I feel sick even thinking about the scan. I honestly think I'll have my hands over my face as soon as I get in.
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u/honey_bunchesofoats FTM EDD 1/22 | 1CP 1MC 1MMC 2d ago
Very normal for symptoms to start decreasing as the placenta takes over. And I also completely understand being nervous about it!
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u/WideNewt5810 36 | FTM| 06/25 💗 1d ago
I had this. I pretty much stopped having any major symptoms after week 8 or 9, but the baby girl is doing just fine (I'm 13 weeks now). Please stay positive, sending you a hug!
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u/hokaycomputer 36 | MMC 9/24 | 🤞🌈 8/25 1d ago edited 1d ago
5w6d. Spent the morning of Christmas Eve in the ER because of some troubling spotting. Everything looks “fine” however my HCG is high enough that they would usually see a heartbeat and fetal pole which they didn’t. It’s not impossible that everything will be fine but I’m just not hopeful as my last pregnancy stopped growing around this point. Of course my husband’s cousin announced her healthy 15 week pregnancy at Christmas dinner. It just emphasized what a difficult year I’ve had with one loss and one question mark. Just really feeling sorry for myself this morning.
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u/missmightymouse 1d ago
I am in the exact same boat. Lost a pregnancy last month at exactly 5w. Got pregnant immediately after and I’m 5w3d today and I’m bleeding. I’m all the way across the country from where I live at my parents for the holidays, so I can’t even go to the doctor to get blood levels checked until I get back home. I’m crossing my fingers for you. For us both.
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u/No_Membership2804 1d ago
I just want to let you know that HCG is not always an indicator for seeing heartbeat, fetal pole etc. I was 5 weeks +4ish days in the ER for bleeding and my HCG was 21k, they only saw an empty GS, basically told me i was getting scanned too early and to come back in a week. I'm 38+3 today.
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u/Brave_Painter_4363 1d ago
25+3.
I didn't feel festive at all yesterday. Instead, I felt deflated, had brain fog, and was enormously irritated by offensive relatives.
I felt down about it. After all, baby is progressing well, I'm happy to be pregnant... But it's like there was too much expectation to have a great day and I just didn't know what to do to feel festive at all.
This is normal for PAL, right?
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u/JustWantBoundaries 1d ago
Yes, I think so. I also had an awful day yesterday for various reasons. I'm away with my inlaws and no one seems to get what a difficult year it has been and how I'm still so stressed about this pregnancy, at least to some degree, all the time.
The saving grace was that one of my extended, extended inlaws could see that I was off and she came up to me and said sympathetically "it's too much sometimes". It took a lot not to cry right then and there.
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u/ParticularBiscotti85 MMC Nov ‘23 and Mar ‘24 EDD 3/29/25 1d ago
Oh wow that in-law sounds awesome
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u/KrystleOfQuartz 1d ago
In week 36. Just had my strep swab and wasn’t expecting her to be so rough! She asked me if I wanted a cervical exam and I said absolutely not. I’m really hesitant in having them because I’ve read they are pretty un-necessary until you’re in labor. I also heard you have higher chances of infection. I’m going to be scheduling my 39 week induction soon. My doula keeps giving me all these little tips. She said to make sure it’s scheduled for the morning not nighttime. That way you’re not already going into the experience exhausted.
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u/WallaWallaWalrus 13h ago
I did my induction at night. It was great! I basically checked into the hospital like a hotel. I had to wait in triage for a couple hours because women in active labor get attention first for obvious reasons. I just napped. My actually induction started around 11 or midnight. I got misoprostol and a foley balloon. I asked for Benadryl to help me sleep. I slept until morning. When I woke up in the morning, the balloon was fully inflated. I was 4cm dilated. They broke my water. I dilated to 6cm. I was fully rested during active labor.
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u/Brave_Painter_4363 1d ago edited 1d ago
Can confirm induction in the evening and labouring overnight is exhausting. That's how I delivered our angel. I was so out of it, I kept wanting to slip into micro sleeps but the contractions wouldn't let me. Meanwhile husband zonked out on the sofa in the room right when I needed him to buzz the midwife for pain relief as the intensity ramped up.
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u/KrystleOfQuartz 1d ago
Congrats to you! And thank you for confirming this. It’s interesting to me they don’t offer the daytime option unless you ask for it!
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u/Brave_Painter_4363 1d ago
I don't think you meant to congratulate me.
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u/KrystleOfQuartz 1d ago edited 1d ago
I’m so sorry- When you said “that’s how I delivered our angel”- I thought you meant it differently. My apologies and condolences.
Were you induced at 39weeks aswell?
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u/Brave_Painter_4363 1d ago edited 1d ago
I was induced at 25+5. She lost her heartbeat and was born sleeping.
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u/KrystleOfQuartz 1d ago
I’m very sorry for what you’ve endured. My heart goes out to you and yours. And I wish you the very best on this pregnancy. I do find your response triggering. Within this community, I see how it can be a challenging balance between staying hopeful and positive for yourself and others , vs relaying and comparing your situation to someone else’s and instilling fear. That may not have been the intent here but the receiving wasn’t positive. I understand wanting to own your trauma; you are validated.
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u/whydoyouflask 1d ago
We're officially pregnant for the second time. It's twins, and now I'm doubly scared.
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u/MedsSilver 36 | 1LC | 1MC | 5CP | 🤞 Twins 🌈🌈 April 25 2d ago
20+6 and the anxiety hasn't eased off at all. Got through Christmas day and just trying to focus on getting through boxing day now. I have a scan tomorrow, follow up to anomaly scan that they couldn't complete last time as I was poorly and babies wouldn't stay still. Hoping it gets completed tomorrow with no concerns so I can hopefully have a reprieve in anxiety at least for the day.
Putting my thoughts and concerns into writing in this sub has been one of the few things that's helping me through. Wishing for the best for us all 🤞🌈🤍🤍🌈🤞
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u/Weary-Place-6600 1d ago
Coming up on 19 weeks tomorrow. Scan this week was great- both babies look perfect but I still get so nervous. I’ve started getting uncomfortable toward the end of the day. I woke up this morning feeling much less heaviness in my belly and it makes me so nervous something is wrong. I know rationally it’s because I don’t have a day of eating and drinking a ton of water and being in my feet but still.
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u/JustWantBoundaries 2d ago
19w1d. After feeling baby move for first time 3 days ago, I now feel nothing. I've had covid in the last week, my back is killing me and I'm exhausted. I'm tired, anxious and just feeling rather miserable. I'm going to try to take 5 mins to lie quietly and see if I can feel anything (we're away with family and our toddler and it has been chaos and I haven't had a moment to do so in the last few days).
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u/slow4point0 3mc 1 LC 2mc due 06/16 2d ago
15+2 yesterday, I felt the boy for SURE. I’ve been having little feelings like I think i’m feeling him but it was unmistakable just way tinier than i remember with my first LC. In other news I officially weaned off my progesterone without much mental turmoil and that felt like such a success. It was really hard the first time because I was so scared. I hope you all had a merry Christmas or happy holiday this year.
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u/Elfie_B 1d ago
21+6 today. Quite strange. I feel her now every day and sometimes I am even able to feel her kicking hard enough at my belly, but my husband isn't fast enough to find the spot and my toddler is not interested yet - not when there are a million new toys to play with.
We were having Christmas Eve and Christmas day with family and my son loved playing with his cousin, and were going to meet up with friends today, but they just delayed, maybe cancelled. I am a little annoyed, because they wanted to do a Christmas barbecue (which I hate in the winter) and I was up late to finish a salad and now half the party guests cancelled and the hosts are having a crisis and I should be more understanding but just the thought of having to eat the salad for the next few days is unnerving. While pregnant, I don't like eating the same thing a couple days in a row ...
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u/wishingspell 1d ago
8w1d, nervous for my ultrasound tomorrow! Nausea, heartburn, and sore boobs this whole time. Had a good heartbeat at 7w2d, hoping for the same tomorrow
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u/SamNoelle1221 33 FTM | MMC 06/23 | 🌈🩵 02/08/25 1d ago
Best of luck tomorrow! Sending good thoughts your way!
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u/ProfessionalYapper90 1d ago
I have an ultrasound at 930 this morning (in about 45 mins) to check for a heartbeat at 6 weeks 3 days. I know realistically that we may NOT see a heartbeat and that doesn't mean anything is wrong, but I am so nervous. Especially since my 2 year old will be in the room (daddy is working) and if there is no heartbeat I have to keep it together. Just hoping for good news and a heartbeat. Desperately.
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u/ProfessionalYapper90 1d ago
We got a heartbeat!!! Going back in two weeks for a repeat but everything looked good this morning. This was when our last stopped developing so we will check for growth in two weeks. I appreciate you all ❤️
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u/bbeaupre 1 Blighted Ovum | 1 MMC | 2 CP | Due 8/23/25 1d ago
Please keep us updated!! Please tell me you saw a heartbeat! I need good news today 🙏
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u/ProfessionalYapper90 1d ago
We did! Saw and heard it! I go back for a repeat ultrasound in 2 weeks to make sure there is growth, but today was a good day!
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u/No-Maybe-7487 1 MMC | 3 CP | DD Jan ‘25 🩵 1d ago
36W3D. Have an appointment today and what’s supposed to be my first cervical check. I’m very curious to see if my body has made any progress (hoping so as I am scheduled to be induced at 39 weeks) but have also seen women opting out of them. Any advice? Is the check itself painful?
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u/WideNewt5810 36 | FTM| 06/25 💗 1d ago
Can you feel your sac movement at 13 weeks? I swear it's been about a week or so since I started feeling something moving in my belly when I turn around at night. It's like a water bubble that moved from one side to another (I wake up whenever I feel that). I've never had this pre-pregnancy. Google says it's not possible to feel anything this early.
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u/whydoyouflask 1d ago
We're officially pregnant for the second time. It's twins, and now I'm doubly scared.
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u/missmightymouse 1d ago
5+3
Woke up this morning to a little bleeding. Enough to wet my underwear. No clots yet, but I’m terrified. I lost my last pregnancy at exactly 5 weeks last month. We were so thrilled to get pregnant right away after that and I was so confident this one would be smooth sailing.
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u/oceanic8hope 1d ago
Keep us posted :(
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u/missmightymouse 17h ago
Still bleeding but only when I wipe, and no blood clots. This feels different than last month when there were large clots from the very beginning. I’m hopeful this is just normal bleeding since it’s still so early.
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u/Tasty_Entrance_8076 1d ago
4 + 1 today and i can’t actually allow myself to say im pregnant lol. i took a test this morning and it wasn’t much darker than yesterdays but i do know that HCG doubles every 48 - 72 hours! i called my OB which i was nervous to and my first app is jan 21st but they are sending paper work over for me to get a blood test for my hcg! cautiously optimistic! no spotting or signs of AF (was supposed to start on christmas eve) which im grateful for and no symptom loss! it’s just nerve wracking lol!
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u/allycakes 1LC (IVF) | 1MMC, 1CP, 1MC | Feb'25 (IVF) 1d ago
33+2 - does anyone else have a baby that likes to keep them on their toes? Woke up this morning and didn't feel too much activity. Drank some orange juice and got a little activity but really soft. Finally started to get real movement around 8:30. I was this close to going to L&D. I feel like any time I think I've figured out a pattern to her movements, she switches things up on me. I am also having a somewhat ridiculous anxiety concern that isn't helping when I'm worried about her movements.
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u/pineconeminecone 25 | TTC #1 | MC Mar/24 | EDD Feb 9 🌈 1d ago
I'm a couple days ahead of you and same. Baby's movements have also shifted from sharper swirls to slow, big stretches, which makes it harder for me to notice.
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u/No-Maybe-7487 1 MMC | 3 CP | DD Jan ‘25 🩵 1d ago
Yes, me! For me, I think I’m just so anxious after losses. But at 36W3D it still feels like Baby’s moves are random.
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u/Bittie2024 MC July ‘23, EDD Feb ‘25 1d ago
Yep, Christmas eve I was freaking out bc I hardly felt him move at all. Was really starting to panic. Then he went absolutely bonkers all day yesterday and has resumed normal schedule today.
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u/Weary-Place-6600 1d ago
I had this! Any doc worth their salt will let you come in for monitoring to ease your mind. Don’t hesitate to call. Everything turned out fine for me and I did not regret bringing it up.
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u/allycakes 1LC (IVF) | 1MMC, 1CP, 1MC | Feb'25 (IVF) 1d ago
Oh yeah, I've already been to my L&D a couple of times and they always were very nice and confirming that it was the right decision. I generally will wait a little if I'm actually feeling baby before making the decision to go in, or I'd be living there.
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u/SamNoelle1221 33 FTM | MMC 06/23 | 🌈🩵 02/08/25 1d ago
At my OB appointment today I brought up that movements are feeling different and much softer for a little over a week now and I'm finding that concerning. She confirmed that based on baby's size and position, he's just out of room for as many jabs/kicks in the way he could get momentum in the past from more directions. The doctor reminded me that a lot of these more rolling/wiggling movements aren't as pronounced or noticable if your attention is elsewhere like when you're working on something or walking around. She reassured that I could come in whenever I get concerned, but also said it's ok if I have to focus more to feel the more subtle movements as long as they're still there.
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u/confused_but_happy1 1d ago
I’m 25w5d and my little guy has given me moments where I definitely wanted to go see a doctor. He wouldn’t move for so long, no matter what I did. It took a lot of poking him just to get him to kick the tiniest kick. Sometimes when I notice he’s not moving, I go press my lower abdomen on the edge of the kitchen counter, and apparently he doesn’t like that so he starts kicking then😅
Currently in bed feeling his aggressive kicking. Love him so much already!
I’ve heard the further you progress in pregnancy, the softer their movements get, due to space.
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u/TheHouseKey 1d ago
I'm 6w2 today, and exhausted from throwing up earlier. I just can't get myself to move. We're leaving for a vacation in a couple hours, and I don't know how I'm going to keep up with my 7m and 5m kids. I'm also grateful for the discomfort - I'm still pregnant.
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u/auntiesaurus 1d ago
9 weeks 5 days, newest aversion.. bananas. 😩 they were previously a safe food so this was a big food loss when so little sounds good enough to eat. I think applesauce is going to be the next to go. 🥴
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u/oceanic8hope 1d ago
6 week plus, light red spotting, lower back pain. 😞 if anyone has experienced it, wether positive or negative outcome, I’d love to know.
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u/Thoughts_of_doggs 19h ago
Negative & positive outcome here. Negative: brown spotting at 6+2 that was off and on. U/s a couple of weeks later confirmed development stopped around the 6 week mark. Had a D&C and a chromosomal abnormality was confirmed. Positive: brown spotting at 6+2 again that lasted for about a week and a half. Doc suspected the blood was coming from my cervix. Currently at 17+5 and all testing has come back normal so far. Hoping for a positive outcome for you - unfortunately bleeding is very common in both viable and non viable pregnancies 💛
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u/sername1111111 36 | MMC, CP, BO | EDD July 2025 2d ago edited 1d ago
Edit : We're officially graduated, bawling in my car. They had a graduation ceremony where I got to select a bead to place in their jar in honor of baby boy and the whole staff clapped. They even printed me some 3D ultrasound pictures of the jumping little bean, and gave me a pack of gummy bears. What a surreal day, hoping this luck continues into the new year.
It's been 10 days since my last US so a bit nervous.
It's also 2 am and I'm awake bc I have the itchiest rash on my breast that started a few days ago 😭 guess I'll ask about it today. I have super duper sensitive skin (psoriasis and eczema normally), and I bought new PJs that I washed once and then wore a few days ago, pretty sure it started after that and perhaps they still had too many chemicals from the factory after washing, but now of course second guessing myself (doesnt seem to look like pityriasis rosea, as after almost a week it's still just one spot). Caved and put some hydrocortisone on before bed but clearly isn't helping much. Any other rash tips friends? Thanks!