r/facepalm Aug 23 '24

🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​ Oh dear...

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24.8k Upvotes

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5.2k

u/spiforever Aug 23 '24

Donvict was 48 when Tiffany was born.

2.6k

u/fgzhtsp Aug 23 '24

Donvict is a great name.

1.4k

u/n3Ver9h0st Aug 23 '24

So is Felonald

1.2k

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '24

Felonald Donvict sounds like a D&D name. Lol

166

u/Acceptingoptimist Aug 23 '24

The local town of Hemel on the lake has a wanted poster for Felonald Donvict, but through well-timed NPC exposition monologues, and a few successful persuasion checks, you learn he's actually a warlock. After the final combat, it is revealed he was a mere stooge. He was coerced into this pact by a higher villain: Vladimir Pissant. An evil gnome who obsconded his throne through treachery and murder.

51

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '24

Just that little bit right there sounds like such a fun campaign. So good. Lol

30

u/twodogsfighting Aug 23 '24

It's always a fucking evil gnome.

1

u/Acceptingoptimist Aug 23 '24

If I had a copper for every time....

3

u/great_red_dragon Aug 23 '24

The ancient hempsteade of Hemel, is in fact, a complete shithole

3

u/Immediate-Season-293 Aug 23 '24

May I suggest the name Baldimir instead of Vladimir?

2

u/abousono Aug 23 '24

If he’s a Stooge, he’s most likely a Shemp, or even worse, a Joe. One of the least liked Stooges.

2

u/txn_gay Aug 23 '24

Thanks for the campaign idea.

256

u/Beagle313 Aug 23 '24

You gave me an idea for my next BBEG

100

u/billy_goatboi Aug 23 '24

Sounds more like the waste shovelling village idiot

93

u/YDoEyeNeedAName Aug 23 '24

More of a snake oil sales man that projects the image of wealth but Is actually destitute and is working on weakening the kingdom from the inside by sewing discontent, fear of outsiders, and promoting isolationism, all becuase his paltry finances are being buoyed by hostile kingdoms trying to gain power in the local region.

23

u/SpilledSalt4U Aug 23 '24

Maybe he's sewing a discontent quilt.

12

u/Vascular_Mind Aug 23 '24

So, a small bad evil guy instead of a BBEG.

4

u/_Boom___Beard_ Aug 23 '24

BBEG with small hands

3

u/youpayyourway Aug 23 '24

Small sad evil guy

15

u/LightRobb Aug 23 '24

Tho the guy shoveling poo at least does something useful.

1

u/billy_goatboi Aug 23 '24

Depends on where to he's shovelling

3

u/Lewtwin Aug 23 '24

the Poopsmith?

1

u/StoneLuca97 Aug 23 '24

Rogue that for some damn reason has put all his stats anywhere else but stealth

26

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '24

Lol. Hell yeah. I was thinking the same thing.

32

u/LoganBassist Aug 23 '24

I'm afraid to tell my DM, but also very excited

20

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '24

Why? It's a great name for a baddie. Are they just kinda uptight about their stories or something?

2

u/hypnoskills Aug 23 '24

Or a bard.

1

u/LoganBassist Aug 24 '24

I'm afraid what he'd do with it hahaha. I don't think we're ready for Felonald Donvict

9

u/Justprunes-6344 Aug 23 '24

In 20 years when Mara Logo becomes a federal prison complex akin to Mordor but wetter

9

u/Axel_Raden Aug 23 '24

Make Faerûn great again MFGA

3

u/shibemu Aug 23 '24

"I will build the greatest undead army, best in the world and the skeletons are going to pay for it." - Flonald Donvict

1

u/nasandre Aug 23 '24

What would be his signature move?

2

u/Beagle313 Aug 23 '24

Probably something along the lines of Propaganda - Each creature in 50ft radius has to make a DC 15 Wisdom saving throw or lose its free will, now obeying the orders of the caster for the next 24 hours. After that, the creatures will believe that whatever they had done was for the better good.

1

u/lucianobartolucci Aug 23 '24

It's my idea forn a side character my players will not suspect from because theyre idiots

2

u/TerrakSteeltalon Aug 23 '24

A friend of mine once said that, what with Trump’s ability to avoid real consequences for anything up through looking at an eclipse, he’s like a character being played by the DM

1

u/fgzhtsp Aug 23 '24

He is a bard/warlock.

1

u/Imaginary_Wizard800 Aug 23 '24

Sounds like an evolution line from Pokémon💀

1

u/ladyzowy Aug 23 '24

Or a porn star name

1

u/Project_Rees Aug 23 '24

Oh. My. Gosh.

Yes, stealing it for my next campaign. Thank you.

1

u/QuietGrudge Aug 23 '24

My next Baldur's Gate Durge character.

1

u/thewaldenpuddle Aug 23 '24

The chamber of Epstein side quest?!?

1

u/Oviedius Aug 23 '24

I saw DonOld, liked that one too!

1

u/FedoraMask Aug 23 '24

Donvict Felonald sounds like an amazing Gamertag. 😂🤣