r/worldnewsvideo Plenty šŸ©ŗšŸ§¬šŸ’œ Feb 17 '21

Humor šŸ˜„ Hand Sanitizer Argument

12.1k Upvotes

380 comments sorted by

ā€¢

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645

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '21

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270

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '21 edited Jul 12 '21

[deleted]

142

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '21

God I wish I still had awards left. This is it right here baby

33

u/strayakant Feb 18 '21

Hahahaha I love these two dudes so much and I donā€™t even know them! How do you just head out to grab some gas and come across people like these madlads in this day and age.

22

u/Miss_Death Feb 18 '21

My entire department at work is like this and I swear, they are the only reason I haven't quit yet lol

4

u/RedditsAdoptedSon Feb 18 '21

sending in my application shortly

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u/curioboxfullofdicks Feb 18 '21

I stalk people then befriend them if they pass.

3

u/MiyamotoKnows Feb 18 '21

username checks out

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11

u/linkconlogs Feb 17 '21

You gave the eyes !

4

u/WarioFanBoy Feb 18 '21

bottle emptying fart sound

3

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '21

leers

3

u/litken_chitle Feb 18 '21

Pthuuuurp I dont know to type "thermodynamic" evacuation sounds. I tried though!

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19

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

Itā€™s complicated, you do fluid dynamics using thermodynamics. Fluid dynamics begins by writing mass and energy balances.

8

u/AClassyTurtle Feb 18 '21

This guy knows his fluids. (Or girl/her...)

9

u/Darktidemage Feb 18 '21

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Rules%2029%20%26%2030

now that the whole "proper pronouns" thing blew up people just don't realize the fundamental basic rules of the internet are STILL IN PLAY and even if this person is a fucking woman it's still perfectly fine to assume they are a fat sweaty dude trying to catfish you

it's a controversial stance, but I'm keepin it real.

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28

u/mugbee0 Feb 17 '21

Omg. Just fuck already. The sexual tension is overflowing.

9

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21 edited Dec 11 '21

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u/3ULL Feb 18 '21

Clearly thermodynamics it could also be fluid dynamics, I honestly do not know because Bird Law does not require fluid dynamics as a prerequisite.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '21

It's only thermal if it's poop.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

Hydrodynamics

2

u/alk47 Feb 18 '21

Its all thermodynamics.

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298

u/theXsquid Feb 17 '21

They look so happy, good to know covid hasn't ruined everything.

87

u/xwhocares3x Feb 18 '21

I was at the bank and sat down with the lady in accounts who had the clear partition between us and I went to use the sanitizer when the pump did something kinky and just jizzed all across the partition. We continued the conversation while watch sanitizer jizz slowly slide down the plexi-glass.

16

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

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15

u/emh1389 Feb 18 '21 edited Feb 18 '21

Had something like that happen last year- late spring, early summer. I was at Costco for the elusive toilet paper and disinfectant wipes. It was in the 90s that week. It was a bit uncomfortable for a girl who likes low 70s. Itā€™s 90 degrees and thereā€™s a line behind me. I was keenly aware the cart I had was from the parking lot and it needed some disinfectant. It gave me smidge of anxiety. I just carded my way inside and reached for the complimentary hand sanitizer. Now this hand sanitizer was a relief; it was a 1 gallon bottle with a large white nozzle pump- half full. It was a bit of a monster, not something you can use with one hand and get an adequate amount of the sanitizer for the job I had in mind. I gotta use both hands for this beast. One to firmly push down the pump and the other to catch that bacteria slaying juice. The pump went down smoothly. What I didnā€™t count on was all the sludge around the mouth had built up enough to change the trajectory of the viscous liquid. Instead of a puddle in my hand, I suddenly had a splatter of goop on my chest. It shocked myself and the Costco greeter I just showed my membership to that I bursted out laughing. I laughed hard enough in a mask, in 90 degree heat that I suddenly got lightheaded, like fading to black lightheaded, and collapsed to the ground at the entrance of Costco with a whole bunch of people waiting to get inside. The greeter rushed around to get to me and another employee came to my aid while calling management and I was back up and completely embarrassed. They gave me a bottle of water and management asked if I need an ambulance but I had felt fine. A bit spooked about it but okay. I monitored myself all day for anything else out of the ordinary. But nothing happened since.

All this because a bottle of hand sanitizer jizzed on me. And they didnā€™t have the toilet paper or the disinfectant wipes. All that drama for nothing. šŸ˜©

3

u/eskimobruv Feb 18 '21

Maybe invest in a box of gloves

3

u/emh1389 Feb 18 '21

I did do the gloves for a while, but the waste was getting at me. I just carry a lot of sanitizer with me now.

4

u/Revolvyerom Feb 18 '21

Nobody uses gloves properly anyways. They put the gloves on while shopping, contaminate the gloves with something in the store, and then touch their wallet, clothing and phone with their gloves. It really doesn't matter that they throw away the gloves when they leave...because they've already contaminated items they are now going to touch with their bare hands.

I can count on one hand the number of customers doing it right that I've seen in a grocery store, and I work in one full-time. One hand with a glove. Gloved hand ONLY touches things that aren't from home. Bare hand ONLY touches things from home.

It isn't easy, but it'll keep you from bringing whatever you handle in the store home.

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u/crispcream27 Feb 18 '21

Woah that escalated quickly

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u/Swiftclaw8 Jun 09 '21

This is copypasta level good

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10

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

Did you give her the eye contact?

15

u/FirstDayJedi Feb 18 '21

SHE was giving ME the EYES

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u/marsianer Secondary šŸ› Feb 18 '21

Ooooh, Billy.

8

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21 edited Jul 29 '21

[deleted]

2

u/TheFizzardofWas Feb 18 '21

Whatā€™s the story here? Is this just a random vid or are these guys internet celebs or what?

0

u/vitringur Feb 18 '21

Not like they are 2 metres apart and wearing masks. There is nothing in the video indicating that there is a covid pandemic ongoing.

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126

u/fe80_1 Feb 17 '21

After an absolutely shitty week this made me laugh so hard. šŸ™

21

u/Kellan_OConnor Feb 18 '21

Big guy gave a pretty awesome Boss Nass jowl-shake near the end

3

u/skunkpunk1 Feb 18 '21

Literally LOLed here. Perfect reference. Bravo

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3

u/Force_of_chill Feb 18 '21

Bro its only Wednesday... but this has also been an ABYSMAL week.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

I wanna send you both virtual hugs, because yeah... Shit had been a little itty bitty tiny complicated lately

54

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '21

I love this pair of friends, very cute!

20

u/camdoodlebop Feb 17 '21

i feel like they might be more than friends

48

u/RamblingStoner Feb 18 '21

Any sufficiently advanced friendship between two males is indistinguishable from homosexuality.

6

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

[deleted]

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u/frufrufuckedyourgirl Feb 18 '21

Facts bro whose gonna rub my boys out when their girlfriends are mad at em

11

u/Beeht Feb 18 '21

Is... is that what your friend told you?

3

u/tyaak Feb 18 '21

hey if a bro needs a bj a bro needs a bj

3

u/GeneralVM Feb 18 '21

Just bro doing bro things. As long as your socks are on it isn't gay

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u/Crystal_Pesci Feb 18 '21

If my friend ejaculated hand sanitizer during a pandemic I'd toss some salad just for safety

3

u/MrPickles84 Feb 18 '21

Donā€™t forget the grape jelly.

2

u/EmoMixtape Feb 18 '21

Not in front of my salad!

2

u/GretaVanFleek Feb 18 '21

...Best friends?

2

u/SassyStrawberry18 Feb 18 '21

Oh my god they were roommates.

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u/emptyshelI Feb 18 '21

Iā€™d watch them fuck

45

u/diegggs94 North America šŸŒŽ Feb 17 '21

Is this the wicked witch of the east bro?

14

u/rebeccamb Feb 18 '21

SHE CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE

10

u/glassflowrrrs Feb 18 '21

GROW UP, DOUG

.GET EDUCATED BRO

8

u/SunRaies29 Feb 18 '21

YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME THAT I'M WROOONG?!

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u/Thorwaswrong Feb 17 '21

I kept waiting for the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme song.

3

u/ColonelBelmont Feb 18 '21

The big guy does make sweet Jeff Garlin noises.

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u/sugarless93 Feb 17 '21

Actually made me laugh

19

u/tampabound Feb 17 '21

They've been friends for a long time

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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '21

Itā€™s like two dogs playing together and then at the end someone says treat

4

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '21

Except itā€™s semen and not dog treats

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u/angelv11 Feb 18 '21

So no one gonna talk about the 4K video? Iā€™ve never a video that smooth. On Reddit, I mean. Theyā€™re always low-quality and buggy, but this one is so smooth itā€™s kinda weird seeing this

8

u/PlenitudeOpulence Plenty šŸ©ŗšŸ§¬šŸ’œ Feb 18 '21

Our subreddit has HD video unlocked due to our "Pioneer" users. That might be why you are noticing better video quality.

3

u/angelv11 Feb 18 '21

Thatā€™s so cool! I love this

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u/gkghn Feb 17 '21

I mean I love that video. But this isn't actually world news

86

u/Wheres_that_to Feb 17 '21

Technical it is, the location it occured is the world , and it's new information.

12

u/vangogh330 Feb 17 '21

News, on a VERY personal level.

9

u/GretaVanFleek Feb 18 '21

Breaking News

This one dude made hand sanitizer cummies in his buddy's hand.

5

u/Meta_homo Feb 18 '21

This pls. I want more

7

u/Zoltrahn Feb 18 '21

We get both sides of the story too. Rare these days.

2

u/Wheres_that_to Feb 19 '21

Good quality detailed analysis .

42

u/BonBon666 Contributorāš”ļø Feb 17 '21

This is the world news we want.

8

u/cupajaffer Feb 17 '21

This is so much better than talking about politics like it's sports

8

u/PlenitudeOpulence Plenty šŸ©ŗšŸ§¬šŸ’œ Feb 17 '21

Which is exactly why we post these things here. Gotta have positive/funny posts with the informative posts!

12

u/atomcrusher Feb 17 '21

There's always one commenter that doesn't understand the sub.

8

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '21

Breaking news. Two people actually enjoying their lives. World watches in aw.

5

u/universl Feb 17 '21

I felt very informed watching this, I donā€™t know what youā€™re talking about

2

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

Im in world and this is news to me.

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u/Thomasmagda_47 Feb 17 '21

" I gave him hand sanitizer "

holds up a bottle of water

8

u/LoneliestLion Feb 17 '21

This shit is so god damn wholesome!

7

u/-ImYourHuckleberry- Feb 17 '21

Holy shit! This canā€™t be real like this has to be some type of pilot for a new show on Comedy Central or something... holy Jesus. Iā€™m dying!

3

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21 edited Jul 29 '21

[deleted]

2

u/33coe_ Feb 18 '21

Does the guy who made the tiktok know them too?

2

u/SunChipsDoritos42 Jan 25 '23

Thatā€™s what Iā€™m saying! These guys need a fucking comedy job

7

u/anonMLMhater Feb 17 '21

It's Always Cloudy in Ohio.

2

u/akkisalwazwaz Feb 18 '21

was looking for this comment

the skinny guy is Charlie 100%

6

u/BreakerOf_Chains Feb 18 '21

Do both vehicles know each other, or is this two groups of strangers?

7

u/Kaity-lynnn Feb 18 '21

They're friends. Imagine telling a stranger someone came into your hand in a car

6

u/BreakerOf_Chains Feb 18 '21

Darn, that is why I thought it was funny. Oh well, next time!

2

u/MasterHepburns Feb 18 '21

Same. It would have been amazing if they were both complete strangeres. But itā€™s funny nonetheless

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u/milk4all Feb 18 '21

Some people be like this though

1

u/FabulousStomach Feb 18 '21 edited Feb 18 '21

I'm sorry but where would the problem be with that? Classic redditors who are afraid of calling domino's to order pizza I swear.

FYI normal, non socially inept people can indeed have conversations like that with strangers in a friendly and relaxed setting like we're seeing in the video. Especially because a normal person knows that once they go on their way, that's it, they'll likely never see the strangers they were interacting with again in their whole life.

But this is reddit where people consider anything slightly out of the norm "cringe" and they'd never ever do anything even remotely "cringe" in public so why am I even wasting my time.

Boring people

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u/PumpkinSpiceLatte- Feb 17 '21

R/contagiouslaughter in my living room rn

2

u/Combo_of_Letters Feb 18 '21

Same wife and I in the garage smoking a bowl

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u/ErshinHavok Feb 18 '21

They seem like a fun couple of buds. Great vibe.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

What sport/team is that guys hat? Driving me nuts that I canā€™t figure it out. Help me Reddit youā€™re my only hope

3

u/beepboopnoise Feb 18 '21

Okay, so is no one going to comment on the end? Is the car with the cum hand blocking them in somehow??

2

u/DeliciousInterest8 North America šŸŒŽ Feb 24 '21

I need answers!

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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '21

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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '21

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u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

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u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

You watch your fucking mouth

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u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

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u/gdubh Feb 18 '21 edited Feb 18 '21

This show is better than Big Bang Theory for sure.

3

u/kaz3e Feb 18 '21

Not a high bar, there...

2

u/Geigo Feb 18 '21

Karen kicks in at the end to ruin it.

9

u/LamarjbYT Feb 18 '21

I don't think they're a Karen because they want to leave

-1

u/AceOn14Par3 Feb 18 '21

Youā€™re right, not because they want to leave but because the way they expressed. Iā€™d even go further than just ā€œKarenā€ and call her a cunt.

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u/Geigo Feb 18 '21

Nice try Karen.

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u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

her voice is so irritating :(

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u/ragequitCaleb Feb 18 '21

They probably shouldn't be driving if they are that drunk

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u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

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u/Spicethrower Feb 18 '21

The Boss Nass move made this.

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u/andthesoftskeleton Feb 18 '21

I want this and the "you're gonna tell me I'm wrong!?!?" wicked witch guy playing headbands to have a debate

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u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

Theyā€™re so friggen cute!!

1

u/MalekGG1 Feb 18 '21

Itā€™s okay if itā€™s the homies

1

u/Savage_Cabbage__ Feb 18 '21

Thatā€™s the first good argument Iā€™ve seen in a while

1

u/arizonacardsftw Feb 18 '21

Gave me ā€œThe wicked witch of the east, bro!!ā€ vibes

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

Hydro dynamics :)

1

u/yournamecannotbename Feb 18 '21

Ah yes Christan, Josh, and Lexi. I know those guys!

1

u/dkaeq- Feb 18 '21

hey guys its me, mutahar

1

u/curioboxfullofdicks Feb 18 '21

Best video I've seen in a long time. I need friends like this. All the people I know are fucking assholes.

1

u/OrionStars3 Feb 18 '21

This has the wizard of Oz argument vibes

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u/AlphaRomeo702 Feb 18 '21

I want to be friends with them!

1

u/Kernal-Sanderz Feb 18 '21

London spitfire hat

1

u/5coolest Feb 18 '21

Why die these guys look like they work at Linus Media Group?

1

u/PLEASEdontHATEme17 Feb 18 '21

Two dudes hot boxing in a parking lot, guaranteed. Fucking classic!

1

u/True_Truth Feb 18 '21

The woman ruins the video

1

u/Xoldin Feb 18 '21

You just know they're best friends.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

I kinda want to be their friends too.

1

u/SiCobalt Feb 18 '21

Why is she telling them to leave first?

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u/delta_wolfe Feb 18 '21

Haha what a bunch of goobers! What a delight

1

u/Ho0odini Feb 18 '21

the thermodynamics line gives me some ā€œspeed of lobstersā€ vibes

1

u/missPinkfoxxy Feb 18 '21

Is that mutahar

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

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u/Lissydarksoul Feb 18 '21

There isnā€™t much that makes me smile, or even laugh, but I actually loved this , so funny. The simplest things in everyday life that cause the best laughs make the greatest memories.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

1

u/RickCrenshaw Feb 18 '21

YOU INITIATED EYE CONTACT

1

u/idk_01 Feb 18 '21

total thermodynamics

1

u/bittergreen49 Feb 18 '21

I would adore being friends with those two!