r/worldnewsvideo Plenty 🩺🧬💜 Feb 17 '21

Humor 😄 Hand Sanitizer Argument

12.1k Upvotes

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297

u/theXsquid Feb 17 '21

They look so happy, good to know covid hasn't ruined everything.

87

u/xwhocares3x Feb 18 '21

I was at the bank and sat down with the lady in accounts who had the clear partition between us and I went to use the sanitizer when the pump did something kinky and just jizzed all across the partition. We continued the conversation while watch sanitizer jizz slowly slide down the plexi-glass.

17

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

14

u/emh1389 Feb 18 '21 edited Feb 18 '21

Had something like that happen last year- late spring, early summer. I was at Costco for the elusive toilet paper and disinfectant wipes. It was in the 90s that week. It was a bit uncomfortable for a girl who likes low 70s. It’s 90 degrees and there’s a line behind me. I was keenly aware the cart I had was from the parking lot and it needed some disinfectant. It gave me smidge of anxiety. I just carded my way inside and reached for the complimentary hand sanitizer. Now this hand sanitizer was a relief; it was a 1 gallon bottle with a large white nozzle pump- half full. It was a bit of a monster, not something you can use with one hand and get an adequate amount of the sanitizer for the job I had in mind. I gotta use both hands for this beast. One to firmly push down the pump and the other to catch that bacteria slaying juice. The pump went down smoothly. What I didn’t count on was all the sludge around the mouth had built up enough to change the trajectory of the viscous liquid. Instead of a puddle in my hand, I suddenly had a splatter of goop on my chest. It shocked myself and the Costco greeter I just showed my membership to that I bursted out laughing. I laughed hard enough in a mask, in 90 degree heat that I suddenly got lightheaded, like fading to black lightheaded, and collapsed to the ground at the entrance of Costco with a whole bunch of people waiting to get inside. The greeter rushed around to get to me and another employee came to my aid while calling management and I was back up and completely embarrassed. They gave me a bottle of water and management asked if I need an ambulance but I had felt fine. A bit spooked about it but okay. I monitored myself all day for anything else out of the ordinary. But nothing happened since.

All this because a bottle of hand sanitizer jizzed on me. And they didn’t have the toilet paper or the disinfectant wipes. All that drama for nothing. 😩

4

u/eskimobruv Feb 18 '21

Maybe invest in a box of gloves

3

u/emh1389 Feb 18 '21

I did do the gloves for a while, but the waste was getting at me. I just carry a lot of sanitizer with me now.

5

u/Revolvyerom Feb 18 '21

Nobody uses gloves properly anyways. They put the gloves on while shopping, contaminate the gloves with something in the store, and then touch their wallet, clothing and phone with their gloves. It really doesn't matter that they throw away the gloves when they leave...because they've already contaminated items they are now going to touch with their bare hands.

I can count on one hand the number of customers doing it right that I've seen in a grocery store, and I work in one full-time. One hand with a glove. Gloved hand ONLY touches things that aren't from home. Bare hand ONLY touches things from home.

It isn't easy, but it'll keep you from bringing whatever you handle in the store home.

1

u/lad1701 Feb 18 '21

you have to plan to get that right - cards in the right pockets and all. I just take out what I think I'll need then spray it AND me down when I leave.

1

u/MaddogBC Feb 18 '21

And you can't touch yourself with the glove either, nobody get's this, scratch your nose once and it's all wasted. Drives me nuts, so many ignorant sheep.

1

u/wimpyroy Feb 18 '21

Good smelling sanitizer?

1

u/emh1389 Feb 18 '21

Yes. Lavender something from bath and Bodyworks

2

u/crispcream27 Feb 18 '21

Woah that escalated quickly

2

u/Swiftclaw8 Jun 09 '21

This is copypasta level good

1

u/emh1389 Jun 09 '21

Aww, thank you.

8

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

Did you give her the eye contact?

15

u/FirstDayJedi Feb 18 '21

SHE was giving ME the EYES

2

u/marsianer Secondary 🏛 Feb 18 '21

Ooooh, Billy.

8

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21 edited Jul 29 '21

[deleted]

2

u/TheFizzardofWas Feb 18 '21

What’s the story here? Is this just a random vid or are these guys internet celebs or what?

0

u/vitringur Feb 18 '21

Not like they are 2 metres apart and wearing masks. There is nothing in the video indicating that there is a covid pandemic ongoing.

1

u/HUDuser Feb 18 '21

Do you think most ppl are constantly depressed since March?

1

u/arealhumannotabot Jun 09 '21

I dislike My job but my co workers and I have similarly stupid conversations and they are some of the funniest moments here