Have been going through it this whole year and I simply refuse to go on like this in 2025. 15 minutes between these pictures. Still have a very long way to go, I might post more before and afters!

I made a throwaway for this because I'm so deeply ashamed. I've always struggled with mess/anxiety around removing trash from my house for fear of judgement from neighbors. I live in a very tight-knit apartment complex so I run into my neighbors a lot.

Onto the disaster. My place is, generally, messy. I have ADHD and am somewhat consistently medicated (unless I forget to book an appointment for a refill - you see the problem). I was also in an accident that has left me with lifetime physical limitations and chronic pain.

Earlier this year, I had a major structural issue with my unit, which I own. I had people traipsing in and out. I did an emergency clean which was...embarrassing to say the least.

Since the structural "incident" ~9 months ago, I've essentially sealed my room off and have been sleeping on my couch. Here is what I know:

• There are German roaches. No way around this. I have seen them and they have wandered into the main areas. This has caused me intense anxiety and emotional distress. I have traps and Advion which I should be implementing, but starting means facing the issues and that paralyzes me.

• I know all the tips and cleaning hacks. I've helped others clean. My college friend was a hoarder and I regularly cleaned her place. I am a whiz at cleaning everywhere except my own home. I have discussed this with my therapist but really haven't gotten anywhere, partly because I'm so embarrassed I haven't given him the full truth.

• My boyfriend is moving in this week. He is also ADHD. He knows the condition my home is in (he has seen it in person) and has been nothing but understanding and helpful and kind. I am still having an extremely hard time accepting his help or having him around when I'm dealing with the nightmare I've created for myself.

• I need to tackle the room this week. We need a space for his cat to be away from my cat. The common areas we can tackle together but I have to confront the major source of my anxiety for the last 9 months all at once. This move was expected but came on faster than anticipated.

I guess more than advice I just need a place to word vomit all of the horror and dread I'm feeling. I've already started cleaning and it's both better and worse than I dreaded. Please just send good thoughts and energy. This community has been such a major point of inspiration and support on my main account.

I have a depression room. Actually, I have a depression apartment. But within the depression apartment is an even deeper circle of the inferno that is a depression room.

I just filled up a whole trash bag. I'm now sneezing my head off. Yikes.

But I filled up a trash bag. Or almost filled up a trash bag. It was starting to get heavy, so I think that counts.

I did not take a before picture, because having that on my phone would be depressing. But maybe I'll look in there tomorrow and see that there's actually some stuff missing and I'll feel hopeful enough take a photo.

The baby step wasn't filling up the bag, by the way. It's posting here. It would be lovely to have some support, but even if none is forthcoming, I was able to be honest with someone today, even if it's strangers on the internet.

I want to value myself enough that I'm able to treat my space as nicely as I would keep someone else's. You should see my desk at work, it's spotless.

One bag. It has to start with one bag.

This is the 2nd worst room in my flat and the other half of it isn’t done yet.

I saw someone comment about how myb sharing my ‘cleaning method’ might help someone else (very kind of you!) so here it goes.

I pick up a basket of some sorts for my clothes, a box or bag for my trinkets and other small stuff that belongs to the room I am cleaning but needs more time to organise (makeup, stationary, jewelry..) and a trash bag for my trash. I get something to wipe and clean all surfaces (pictured in the last photo).

All clothes that are dirty go in the basket (so everything on the floor), all trash goes into the trash bag, plates and kitchen stuff go into the kitchen, bathroom stuff into the bathroom and so on (I am not organising it just putting it where it belongs since I focuse on one thing at a time).

So by tackling it that way in just 15 minutes you can see a big difference and it can motivate you. But to be honest, my motivation for today are all of you guys! Everyone has been so nice.. I am beyond moved.

it's not much, but it's enough.

(Please delete if not allowed) I don’t feel comfortable enough to post my current situation, but I’ve been living alone with OCD for the first time ever since late August. When I found this page about 48 hours ago, it immediately triggered something in me to make a change. In the last two days, I have cleaned out my kitchen and bathroom. I seriously have never felt so much encouragement before seeing y’all’s posts. Thank you so so much to everyone who has contributed to this subreddit because you really are helping!! <3

Not as big of an accomplishment as most but it's a start! Normally I'm a very clean person and consider myself somewhat of a minamilast so I have no idea how we accumulated all of this stuff! Have a whole pile on my table of stuff to donate.

*** The bedroom wasn't that messy (though still messy) to begin with. My sons closet is the biggest and became the catch all place so I emptied it to sort through everything.

I have been unmotivated and pretty down but I am trying to tackle small spaces.

Hi, I’m able to afford a professional deep clean on my small apartment, I have a place I think comes well recommended, but when I called them earlier I just stammered and couldn’t get any real information out. I’ve seen people completely transform places in much worse shape than mine, and it’s inspiring, but when it comes to letting a stranger see my home (even tho I know they’ve seen it all before as cleaners) I can’t even start. Doesn’t help that I’ve never been so great at phone calls, and I’ve also never had a home professionally cleaned before. Does anyone have tips for useful questions or even just not sounding like an embarrassed asshole on the phone? I can put more info about the apt if that’s helpful but I think the main points is there’s a German roach problem in the kitchen, and some mild water damage, some clutter and hoarding but mostly no food or animal waste, and I have a cat who sometimes tries to run off. I didn’t get thru all of this before I got embarrassed and hung up, just found out that they were within my price range and would work in an environment with roaches, and then that they would have to look at the place before giving a more solid estimate. I feel like I won’t be able to make myself schedule an evaluation if I have to be there because I’m so embarrassed, even though like I said I’ve seen much worse that got turned around even just on this sub.

I feel stupid for having such a hard time with this but it has to change and it’s unbelievable that now that I can pay for something to be done, I can’t get thru the phone call.

I didn’t get too much done, but I tidied this corner and washed my bed sheets :)

I’ll post again tonight to show the progress I’ve made - not proud of this at all, but I’m on the road to healing from trauma and depression so hopefully this is a good first step!!

Hello!! I’m trying to tackle a very very messy depression room on my own and hopefully keep it that way and I need advice. My parents didn’t really teach me or instil the habit of tidying up and I get really overwhelmed and frustrated by the process. I want to get better and maybe even get the balls to invite my boyfriend over sometime so he finally sees my house but I have to get my room in check. Any and all advice on how to start and how to maintain it is very appreciated !!!

My boyfriend has always been extremely dirty, and I’ve exhausted myself trying to keep up. Last February, we moved into a townhome where the upstairs is essentially “his space.” The original plan was for me to have the downstairs room to watch my tv and stuff, and to have one of the 2 bedrooms upstairs to exercise and keep extra clothes, etc., while he had the upstairs living room area and second upstairs bedroom.

He has kept the upstairs area so filthy that I do not have access to the second upstairs bedroom. As a result, I’m smushed into a single bedroom downstairs, while he has spread out all over the upstairs.

I’m furious and just so completely done. No, I will not help him clean the upstairs, no, I will not communicate with him about his level of filth, no, I will not help him get help. I’ve done this a thousand times and am no longer running around in circles struggling to keep my place nice.

I’m finally ridding myself of the problem, and am unfucking my home-and my life-for good.

I bought a mobile home 13 hours away, I’m moving in 3 weeks-leaving the filth behind. Wish me luck!

Btw, the kitties have 4 litter boxes downstairs that I keep clean, so they do have clean potties!

The pics don't look too different than the first time I posted, but after some mental health issues, work issues and other stuff getting in the way, I'm finally back to work seriously unfucking my apartment.

Being diagnosed and medicated for my adhd is definitely helping lol. For the first time in ages I managed to start a project and finish it with minimal distractions but always coming back to it. Today was mostly dedicated to dusting and cleaning areas i haven't touched in significant time (I swear the layer of dust and shed cat fur was an inch thick on the shelf in the last pic). I'm slowly but surely tackling the bottle city and have a bottle opener now so I don't rip my poor hands apart draining the not fully empty one.

Tomorrow's holiday puts it on pause for a day, but since I'm still off work till the start of 2025 I'm hoping to dedicate most of this week to seriously working on this.

If I could just brave the cold and snow to hike to the dumpster more. 😫

This is a long one. TLDR at the bottom.

Our entire house is an absolute mess, mainly of stuff left where we use it or the nearest flat surface, empty soda cartons, and dirty laundry on the floor. Plus the dishes overfilling our double sink despite having a dishwasher. My husband is super stressed out about it and I tend to be paralyzed by how much there is to do. He does what he can, but his physical health issues get in the way.

Since I rarely do housework (but have been trying to get better at doing it more frequently), I decided to make his Christmas present from me be that I make significant progress on cleaning up the house. In true ADHD fashion, I thought of this great idea and planned to basically have the living room, bedroom, bathroom, and dining room cleaned up. Then I didn't start on any part of it until a few days ago, orher than taking the easy to see trash off the dining table.

It started with a load of dishes one day, then a load of dishes and load of laundry the second day. I didn't do anything on the house today until we got home from dinner. At which point, the motivation kicked in. Empty and fill & start the dishwasher, laundry, compress the zillion water jugs from the CPAP and take them out to the recycling bin in 2 trips, and take another trip to fill up the recycling bin with the empty dog food bags I keep piling up in front of my closet. Then, fill a trash bag with all the bathroom and bedroom trash. Take it out to the trash bin to find out that makes that bin full. Despite not getting as much as I had planned done, I'm super proud of myself with what I did get done!

I'm hoping to get a little more done tonight, to clear off his couch so we can cuddle while watching a Christmas movie and rotate laundry.

TLDR: whole house is a mess, so hubby's Christmas gift from me is a cleaner house; most of the work has been done this evening, and I'm proud of what's gotten done.

Not sure about the flair but. I need to redo my organization/closets/spaces for things. That’s sort of my new years resolution. Get rid of some less funtional stuff and get some more simple closets/drawers whatnot.

Also get rid of a bunch of stuff I like but will never use. Pack the things I can’t throw away. Help family do the same.

Sleep now, be back when awake.

What are your ufyh plans, big and small, short and long term resolutions?

Happy christmas, gremlins!

First off, I want to say thank you all so much. Genuinely, this community rocks. You’re all so encouraging, and I could feel the support as I was going. I was working for you guys as much as myself in a way. I won’t be able to respond to all of your comments on this or previous posts, but with all sincerity. Thank you. 🙏 ❤️

I know we would have been able to do more in the past, but we are feeling our age and the burden of the stress. We were not able to get much done today. It doesn’t look much like a difference to me. But the garbage bags tell the tale, I suppose. Still working. Won’t get near as much done as I wanted before the plumbers come.

But.

Just maybe our lives will finally be getting some balance. Maybe even. Some peace. I’ll post along the way. 💕

To preface I'll just say I'm sorry for not sharing pictures but I will describe my situation. I am living in my first apartment. I am autistic and depressed and have been deeply afraid of participating in cleaning my own room/apartment ever since I was being taught to clean up after myself as a little kid.

I have a tangled mess of sewing and knitting projects strewn about in my living room and bedroom. I have craft supplies scattered across my bedroom floor. I'm littered with reciepts, candy wrappers, and odd sheets of paper. I have so much laundry to do I decided to just get rid of a large fraction of my wardrobe. My dishes look like a biohazard. I have a mouse, maybe multiple mice.

My girlfriend knows already what it looks like but every time she comes to visit I am in a stressful hurry to make things presentable for her.

I believe in my ability to tidy up on time on account of positive stress but it will take a lot of courage. I am mostly afraid that within a week it will all be dirty and messy again. I just can't seem to form good habits. I hate living in a mess but I have a hard time bringing myself to do something about it when it really matters.

Before writing this I spent about 2.5 hours doing the surface level work. My back and legs started hurting when I started doing my dishes so I decided to sit for a few minutes. I will return after posting but I would appreciate any encouraging sentiments or advice and anything like that. I hope someday I won't have to worry about cleaning this way again because I will have better cleaning habits. Thank you for reading :)

Update to earlier post. Thanks so much all!

For some reason I couldn’t edit my original post. But here’s an update. I honestly don’t feel like I’ve made much of a dent. We’ve delayed the plumbers until after Xmas and gained a couple days. But I still feel so at a loss.

So like many of you suggested: I’ve started with gloves and a mask, comfortable working clothes and shoes, and huge garbage bags. These are all my usual get to work things. I took the advice of some of you and instead of music put on the audio book Lord of the Rings, and it did help a little. I felt myself sucked into my cozy world and less focused on the mess. But still just so overwhelmed.

I have severe OCD and freeze in messes. A maggot crawled on my skin and I almost fainted (literally- dizzy and nausea, blurred vision). I work myself up all like I’m gonna do this. But then I’m in the middle of it and get so overwhelmed with the filth. Paralyzed from fear. Shaking all over. Nauseous. Dizzy. Cold sweats. I’ve literally been attacked by a man with a knife and so much other crap in my life, but this is my Everest. I’ve never been so defeated. So here’s the update. I can see some improvement. But it feels like we did the easy part and I’m lost how to proceed.

And this is just the kitchen 😫😫😭😭😭😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Posting before and after. But also posting pics of my bedroom bc I feel like I have to defend myself. My bedroom isn’t perfect but it’s closer to how I want to live. I’m poor so decorations are minimal and come from the dollar tree. But I try. I know I’m not trash. I crave cleanliness and peace. A place for everything and everything… you get the point. But the rest of the house is so impossible bc it’s not just me and it’s too gross for me. Rat droppings in cabinets when we moved in. Mold on vents. Squirrels, rats, bugs, a raccoon, and a very large beehive are the infestations we’ve had to deal with just as we moved in.

(We moved in or we would be homeless for those wondering. We have nowhere else to go)

Pro tip: I live in an apartment complex and posted on our online bulletin board that I’d pay $15 to anyone who could come take my trash (2 bags and then some old pumpkins/mums that had been on the porch). Someone came and took them for free! Don’t be afraid to ask for help! Since that kind person took my trash, I was able to use that energy to do this today.

Today I finally decided I can’t do this anymore and started tackling my kitchen. Lord willing I can get it done by Xmas day!

Hi everyone new to this Sub and Reddit in general! So this afternoon my boyfriend and I gonna visit his family out of town and before I pick him up from work I'm gonna clean our home as best as I can so yeah this is the situation at the moment. I'm gonna brew some tea, I got some youtube as background noise. Let's go!