I’m sitting here less than a week away from my year milestone, and I’m having a hard time being excited for myself because I’m more embarrassed than anything in this present moment.

It’s really starting to sink in that every time I tell people that I’m on a sobriety journey I’m also admitting to them that I have a problem with alcohol. And because drinking alcohol is so normalized in our society, it’s almost the ultimate sin to admit to people that, unlike the rest of them, you can’t handle it like every other self respecting adult human “should”. It’s such a frustrating paradox.

I’ve felt so proud of myself on this journey, and so delighted in discovering my true self again. But I’m slowly finding out what people’s true thoughts about me have been since declaring myself sober. For example: they think that my partner is carrying my sobriety on their shoulders. Also they assume that it’s only a matter of time before I relapse and that because I’m not in AA I’m not doing it right. And so on.

I know for myself that none of these things are true. I’ve been really impressed with myself through this year; and I’m so committed to the sober life it’s not even funny. But it’s hard not to let people’s judgments of me get me down.

Does anyone else deal with this? Sorry for the rant.

IWNDWYT

Day one, I quit. It is so weird to type that out. The liquor has been in my life for such a long time that I cannot even imagine going an entire day without it. I can drink anything but vodka is always the preferred choice. Fortunately, I have a little cheat in my CBD pen but it's still not like drinking which was an all day thing, every day, rain or shine, non-stop. I am so tired of always drinking and I do not like the person I become when I get drunk so enough was enough because it was time for a change.

A little over 4 years sober now. First year was the hardest. First christmas, First birthday etc. Breaking out of the routine was difficult at first. Coasting fine but still get that, "oh it would be nice to have a beer or two" now and then, but have accepted im just not able to. It already cost me too much! This community definitely has been helpful. Thanks so much!

I’m about to become a dad, and am really excited for what’s to come. I’ve had issues with alcohol dependency for years, although no one other than my wife and my therapist have ever really called me on it. I’m not as bad as I was at university - blacking out, sleeping with people and later having no recollection, hurting myself, ending up in a cell for the night on one occasion - but I still drink too much, often on my own and often beyond the point of being tipsy. I’ve tried - halfheartedly, if I’m being honest - to quit before, and it hasn’t worked. In three months’ time I’ll be a father. What would happen if I tried to give up now? I feel so positive thinking about a life without alcohol and drugs, but is it foolish to try and cut when I’m about to become a dad? Would appreciate some advice.

Feeling all these and more. Got blackout drunk on Christmas Day, don’t remember much past around 9pm but do have a vague memory of vomiting in bed. Which my husband then had to clean up whilst I went and passed out in the spare room. He is, understandably, angry. But mostly I think he’s just totally at the end of his tether. Because this is the cycle I am stuck in. I get drunk, I embarrass myself, I apologise, we move on and then I do it again a few weeks later. I know that if I continue to do this he is going to leave. Frankly I’m amazed he hasn’t already. And I know that means he cares for and loves me. And that every time I do this I’m just throwing that back in his face. The ridiculous thing is I hate myself for doing this to him, for doing it to myself. We both deserve so much better. I’ve had periods of not drinking before, but the minute I pick up that first drink I find it so hard to stop. I had this lightbulb moment yesterday morning that I don’t HAVE to feel this way. If I don’t drink. Which might sound like the most glaringly obviously statement but I’ve been burying my head in the sand about this for so long. I am really going to try this time to do it and to kick this awful habit. I just needed to write it down somewhere so I can come back to read and re-read once inevitably the shame starts to pass and I begin trying to justify pouring that first glass of wine.

Wondering if anyone has experience to share about how they got past the thinking part of giving up alcohol (the “I won’t” or “I shouldn’t”) part - to the action of not drinking. I hope that makes sense - a bit more info below.

My flair is wrong, I started drinking again over the summer. Now I’m back in the habit of 1-2 drinks a day and I know it’s time to stop but I get to 4 or 5pm and it just feels like…why not? It’s been fine to have a drink or two every night, I’m not blacking out, not making dumb decisions or putting myself or anyone in danger. And yet! There’s a growing voice saying stop.

Spending time with my family of origin over the holidays was eye opening. I think most of them are functioning alcoholics at this point and perhaps seeing it so closely has me feeling reflective about the path I’m on.

It would help so much to hear how others have navigated this stage. Thank you 🙏

I know it's one day at a time but a year being so close really kept me motivated the last few weeks. It really is a balance of fullfilling social obligations and protecting my peace. I give myself permission to rest and say "no" to things but also, I am proud of myself for showing up and being present for the most important things. Looking forward to starting 2025 with almost a year of no drinking under my belt.

Often in posts or comments I'll see something like "I only have 7 days" or "I know it's only a little time but..."

Bullshit. ALL amounts of sober time count. Whether it's a month sober, a week, an hour, you earned every second of that time and all of them are an accomplishment. However long it is you've been sober, that amount of time is always something to be proud of. Don't qualify it with "only".

The fucked up thing about sobriety is that it's not like a video game where you start out on the easy levels and progress to ever more difficult ones as your skills improve. No, with sobriety you step right smack dab into the hardest level on Day 1.

I hit 5 years sober this month and Month 60 is a fucking day at the beach compared to Month 1. Month 1 has the potential to be the hardest month of your life, and often is for many people. That can be daunting but the good news is that if you can make it through that, you can make it through anything.

Congrats to everyone for the time you have under your belt, however long that is. And an extra special and sincere congrats to the folks that are at the beginning of their journey. Happy holidays and may you all have a fantastic 2025.

Of course I had to get loaded during Christmas with at least 10 beers and 4 shots. Then of course the next day, I continued. Sneaking shots in the kitchen when I am pretending to clean it. Pathetic.

This needs to end today. It’s been far too long of my life where I have wanted to quit and havnt. I’ve always wanted to have a great body as well, but with this habit, that will never change.

I just came across this quote today and it stood out to me. I will repeat it everyday if I have to. I got this!!!

“If I can’t handle this, I don’t deserve what I want.”

Hi 👋🏼

I’m (31F) one year sober today, from alcohol and nicotine!! We are california sober which I do understand some folks don’t agree with.

My husband and I have been drinking and smoking on and off for 20 years due to a very traumatic childhoods & unsafe environments in Chicago. We used to be weekend binge warriors. As our relationship progressed, we realized many things. We didn’t want to become another statistic nor become like some family members. My husband & I would fight when we drink. Otherwise we are the biggest love birds. I threw up yellow bile for 2 days straight the last time I drank. That was a sign from God. It was time to quit for good.

I can’t believe we did it! My husband and I have started this path together as he’s in recovery as well. We got married this year, eloped, it really helped us push each other to keep moving forward on our journey.

Im so excited to share this milestone and this sub has been beyond amazing with support & advice.

Before/After Pics - https://imgur.com/a/iQfMMNM

I was called on to share at the meeting this morning. After the meeting, a guy came up to me and said, “Jane!! I’m so happy to see you here!!”, and gave me a huge hug. I did not know who this person was, and assumed it was someone I knew or met while blackout drunk. When we got outside, it clicked. It was someone I had worked with at a restaurant almost 10 years ago. He lost a ton of weight and has a mustache now. It was so great, because I know we both belonged in the rooms a long time ago, and here we both were. At a 7 a.m. meeting, both with our sponsors, both not hungover and in good spirits. Grateful to be sober today. IWNDWYT!

I’ve had a somewhat problematic relationship with alcohol since I was a teenager; although, I’ve only realized that in retrospect. My habit of nightly drinking started after the suicide of my little brother, three years ago. I decided to start drinking regularly to cope with the grief. Being tipsy was fun, crying about my dead brother wasn’t. The choice was obvious at the time.

A sobering (literally) blood panel recently revealed elevated liver function, and something clicked. I stopped drinking and haven’t had a drink since I got the news about my lab results. It was so hard to hear the damage I have done to myself. I was consumed with shame for a solid 48 hours, but I have stayed sober through it. I sat with the bad feelings and I survived.

I don’t have anyone to really celebrate with in real life- my husband still drinks- so I’m sharing here. I’m proud to not drink with you all today.

After a year that felt impossible and I faced the hardest things I have so far in my life, none of my friends or family would have blamed me for returning to drinking. However, I was set on this journey to pull myself from the numbness and the pseudo-rest. The difficult things I faced would have been impossible had I drank my way around them. I am proud of myself for how far I felt from drinking even when my world felt like it was falling apart and I am so glad to have lived another full year sober. IWDYT!

Today a year ago i decided to change my life and my health. I was stupid drunk all the time,my memory was so bad I couldn’t tell what I did the day before, drunkenly telling my life story to any one who would listen, I was getting blackout by myself in random places, barely escaping dangerous situations, and having no idea how I got home. I hid all of this from family and friends, and didn’t realize the extent of how bad my body was screaming for me to stop drinking. And then i did. And now it’s been a YEAR! I truly can’t believe it. I’m so glad I did and I’m still doing it. Here’s to more years of health and joy and not being hung over 💙🫶🏻

i’m on my first stretch pretty much in 20 years, 38 days in (weeeee!) and i’m on here every day, reading all types of posts, which has been amazing helpful lovely. I read a lot of ones about people having to reset their counter and am absorbing the messaging from you all that this is a normal part of the process and nothing to be ashamed of, the most important thing is to not let it turn into two days etc.

This is all good for me to internalize however i’m wondering, how often does anyone just…not? Just have a day 1 and stick with it without “slipping” or attempting moderation? I ask 1, out of plain curiosity and 2. I realized a bit ago that part of my issue is a bit of OCD tendencies (I felt like i HAD to stick with my evening routine of drinking whiskey and chain smoking lol) and am noticing that that is now happening a bit (to a lesser degree) with laying in bed and playing the NYT crossword puzzle ha) and i feel like i will be super bummed if i break my “streak” of X days.

obvi i’m trying to prepare myself for the “inevitable”, but is it always so? peace n love to all

I’ve made it 100 days! This is the longest I’ve gone without alcohol since I was 14 years old (I’m 35). If you had told me a year ago, or even six months ago, that I would go 100 days without drinking I would have scoffed. But here I am. I don’t know what the next 100 days holds for me, but I’d like to think it will result in another celebratory post such as this. Stay strong, my dudes.

Can I post a petty complaint? It’s really not anything compared to things we all have experienced/done to ourselves. But it feels unfair.

It feels unfair to wake up with a headache when I haven’t been drinking. lol. I know it’s dumb. I know that I can be dehydrated or eat like crap and that will have consequences too. That drinking isn’t the only thing that causes health issues, but it still feels unfair.

Ok that’s all from my childish attitude.

Been sober for 35 days now! Yay! I’ve been struggling mentally, it’s hard to face the wound when you have taken the plaster off. I’ve been feeling really anxious and crying a lot, I drank for 8 years to “help” with the grief of my mum passing away. And now I have stopped, it is all coming rushing over me, all the emotions I pushed away for so long by fear of accepting she was dead, is all coming out. And it’s good, I guess. But it seems so strange now to face my issues head on. The anxiety is the worst part for sure. How does one deal with anxiety when they used to have such a simple solution of having a beer? What do i do now with it, now that the “solution” is gone? I’ve felt like drinking everyday to ease the anxiety but trying to stay strong and I haven’t given in yet. What keeps you guys from not giving in and do you have tips to help with the cravings?

Of course my rational mind tells me all the positives of staying sober, but you know that little devil, that little voice in the head is always there “go on, just have a beer, it will do you good” fuck off.

I developed a very horrible drinking problem after I got back from Iraq. My drinking felt like I was drifting out to sea by an undertow, losing more and more control becoming increasingly more isolated and alone. I can proudly say that I have been sober for over 10 yrs. The cravings have gone down significantly. Every now and again I'll crave it but they are so weak now they are easy to fight off. I'm still a work in progress and I have other issues that I am working on right now. I just wanted to give some of you hope out there. There was a time that I thought I thought I couldn't life without the stuff. Everything in my life improved eventually being off alcohol. Good luck everyone! Success can me just a matter of one more try!

I did it. You can too. Life is so great without alcohol. The Big Book Promises will come true.

I dont like who I am anymore. I'm sick of lying awake with a racing heartbeat feeling waves of shame while pounding all the water I can get my hands on. I'm sick of trying to make deals with myself then breaking those deals. So why can't I stop? I drink almost exclusively wine. I've worked at wine bars and live near Napa, so I know a lot about wine. And I romanticize wine. Wine at sidewalk cafes. Wine at sunny terraced vineyards. I want to travel the world and drink wine so bad. But no matter how hard I try to just have one or two glasses, I end up loosing control. It's just such a hard mirage to give up.

In the mornings I’m so committed to quitting (grey area drinker, leading to problematic). So I can just have a few beers in the evening, but trying to quit to stop those blackouts that frequently happen.

By 5pm I’ve totally forgotten my intentions and crack open a beer, by the time I’m going to bed I’ll think “ok will try again tomorrow”.

I know this seems silly but does anyone else struggle with this?

460 odd days ago, I stopped drinking.

460 odd days ago, my wife lost her drinking partner.

Directly or indirectly, so did her parents, my sister, brother in law and a number of friends.

Today, we have had a get together of 10 of us and what would have been a very boozy get together (historically double figure bottles of wine plus various other) has been a very gentle affair where the grand total is 2 bottles of wine and a half dozen bottles of beer.

All of that because I stopped and others followed....

So a word of caution - your (and my) sobriety can have positive effects way beyond your own little world.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the sub, I raise a glass (of hot chocolate in my case) and salute you all - Be you on day 1 or day 1000 - and say once more IWNDWYT

I was able to leave work early today because it was slow. I didn't go to the bar after work. That's all. Just wanted to let someone know.
Instead I came home and did a load of laundry, took a shower, changed my bedding and I'm getting ready to crawl in and zonk out.
I'll see y'all in the morning without a hangover and with a fresh cup of coffee!

Somehow I managed to make it through Christmas without drinking. Originally I posted about my first 24 hours on r/congratslikeimfive and was suggested this subreddit.

Gotten past the shakes, at least I think.