I’m aware of drinking-in-moderation sub, but its seems dead.

I’m not an alcoholic by most standards because I have no problem being sober. I don’t even think about drinking during the week. Im a binge drinker though, in that when I start, it’s hard not to get drunk.

I find that I’m probably feeling peak, with mostly positives and not too many negatives, after maybe 3 or 4.

My goal is to go out and drink whatever I want for an hour. I’m talking strictly… maybe even using the timer on my phone. After the first hour, I allow myself ONE drink per hour. It gives me an opportunity to enjoy another drink, while keeping in that ideal zone.

At another level, I find that at some certain BAC, I’m a different person. Not angry, not destructive, but my decision making is just not the same. I’ll call my DD and just do other stupid things that my sober self swore away.

I’m sorry if this is the wrong thread. I successfully went 2 months without a drink, and it just got boring. I was back to my old ways when I returned. It seems more constructive to work for a more sustainable long term goal. I truly respect people who chose to not drink a drop.

Has anyone tried something similar?

I started drinking near daily this march after being stationed to my first duty station in the army, it has since progressed to the point where im downing 2x 750ml bottles per two weeks, i used to feel like its alright because i usually drink not to get drunk but to feel that euphoria that comes with being buzzed. Now, my tolerance has skyrocketed, i gained 30lbs in three months, and now im having panic attacks if i let myself go sober on a night where i was drinking. Fellas, what do? Im 23 i know age has no meaning to alcohol but i still feel like it shouldnt be this bad yet. Also i feel like i cant stop drinking on days i do drink. Worst part of all is i dont want to stop either but i know i need to if i dont want to develop a serious dependence to it.

I had a dessert and found out a couple bites in the strawberries were soaked in alcohol. I am almost 2 month. My mind is messing with me about it l. I had no idea until someone told me.

I’m 21 I am so ready to stop drinking but haven’t been very disciplined because of the cravings. I have scheduled an appointment with an MD to get some help with medication. What medications have worked for some of you all for your own experience?

And I know with 100% certainty that alcohol has NOTHING to do with it because my counter is accurate and 2/1/2025 I will be a full year sober. Sometimes you get a virus at Christmas and you puke your brains out. Life happens.

I have thrown up from drinking way too many times. Another benefit of being sober is I throw up 95% less. I was reminded tonight how miserable it is.

IWNDWYT

At a holiday gift exchange I was gifted a bottle of vodka. To be clear the event was held in my home with friends and family I knew. I've stopped and started drinking a number of times this year and the most recent was just a week or so ago. The gift was from someone who declined to put their name on the card. This was not a secret santa exchange. It was where anyone could gift anyone or multiple anyone's they chose to. Everyone had a list of the guest names and gifts were not required.

I said "thank you" to the room and left to put the bottle in the kitchen where I dumped out the contents of the Tito's bottle and refilled it with water. For the rest of the night I drank nothing but iced tea and used the bottle of "water" to refill it.

While I'm not done with Christmas I am done with hosting and my friends and neighbors list will be under heavy scrutiny in this next year. I'm sad but I'm sober.

So I know that most of you are going to say I need to reset my date and I know I probably should but this relapse - I am going to call it more of a slip - was different to me. I am, 24M, on day 80 and have been doing great with my sobriety - until last night obviously. I suffer from severe anxiety and panic disorder, however, since I quit drinking my anxiety and panic attacks have been monumentally better. Last night, however, I had one of the worst panic attacks I’ve ever had. It did not feel like a normal panic attack, I was getting body sensations and vision changes that were similar to when I had a seizure. I couldn’t feel half of my body and couldn’t walk right. I literally thought that I was going to stroke out or something. My heart rate was at 140 laying down in bed. I didn’t know what to do, I had no one around me and was scared for my life. So, I sadly reached for the one thing that used to help me during panic attacks, alcohol. My family had some in the house so I grabbed a bottle of sambuca and took probably 3 shots worth and laid down on my bed. I did not want to do it but I didn’t know what else to do. I am utterly devastated today about my actions and do not want to drink at all but I feel like I failed myself. I’m sorry I’m just venting but I don’t want to tell my family because they will get super paranoid and think I went off the deep end again but there is no way I’m going to do that again. I setup an appointment with my psychiatrist and my GP to talk about it but any other advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks guys.

Have tried so many times in the past year to stop drinking. Each week I have new goals, all of which fail. It makes no sense. I have a great job and make good money. I am a what society would consider a smart person. But I keep failing all my personal goals. Just turned 42 last month. No wife. No kids. What is the point?

Relapsed and went on a hell of a bender. Ended up with me being wheelchaired into the ER. They prescribed me Librium. Just took my first dose. I still feel terrible. I’ve heard it has a long half life. Does the second dose help more?

I don’t have a desire to get blasted or escape, but I’ve found some relief in being able to take a small amount of an edible to unwind and relax my body and mind. It’s very occasional. I don’t think I’m lying to myself about my intentions or what it could lead to. I genuinely have no desire to drink. I don’t want to drink. It ruined my life. My problems are much bigger, in fact, such as with lust, greed, gluttony, greed, most of the 7 deadly sins. I have no issues with God, spirituality, religion (for the most part).

However I do feel torn inside about the general consensus in regards to marijuana in AA. I get it and understand that some people simply cannot even entertain it, nor would I necessarily be an advocate or encourage it. But I feel like I know myself. I’m still very proud that I haven’t had a drink in so long. I owe that to AA and other help along the way. I actually enjoy the fellowship and what I’ve learned and continue to learn in the rooms.

But I do feel guilty for accepting my 11 year coin. I feel like a fraud. And I don’t know if that’s because of how I’ve been programmed in the rooms, or if it’s just me being a jerk to myself, or both. Leaving on AA literature “all that is required is a desire to stop drinking”, and well, it’s called Alcoholics Anonymous. Some will point to the Living Sober book that mentions marijuana, but it also advises against Herbal Supplements for Pete’s sake, and was written by some random alcoholic in the 70s.

I understand that nobody else can tell me what sobriety means to me, and that I need to search my own soul for the answers, but I thought I would at least talk about this somewhere, and perhaps gain some insight from others.

Hugs

24M, I was a heavy weed smoker for 3 years, successfully quit weed a long time ago but then I became prey of alcohol. I was a casual drinker earlier, I usually had alcohol once a month, then it became once a week and since last month I have been drinking every single evening. I consume around 300ml of alcohol everyday + around 5 cigarettes. I lie to my family that I'm going for a walk instead go to the nearest bar. I have successfully reduced my cigarette intake from 15 per day to 5 or less but this drinking problem is not letting me quit cigerates as well The thing is that I also strength train in gym quite intensely. I have this fear developed since some time that because of this I can have a stroke anytime in the gym. I don't have hangover problems or any other noticable problems, every morning I wake up fresh and quite motivated of quitting the addictions today but I lose my will power in the evenings. Please suggest anything which can help me stop at once. Suggest me any psychological tricks and tell me if meditation can help and if yes which one?

This is somewhat serious, and somewhat silly. As someone who's been through many hardships in life, there are points that you have to find humor or you'll go nuts.

That all said, I have had Azzie for several years now, but he's not old. The off-hand point and question is that... do your pets avoid you when you've had too much?

Could be the smell, could be irratic behaviour? Have they noticed or expressed concern?

My apologies if levity is not welcome, but I have a cat that I adore... and he knows. He just does... and funny or not, I wanted to put it out there.

Currently about to go sober for a period of time. Not sure how long but at least 3 months. Wondering what benefits to expect as someone who only drinks on weekends (10-15 drinks a weekend). Would love some motivation

I know that there's a lot of options out there for tools to sober up, and I'm thinking about getting an app on my phone to help me keep track of how long my sober streaks go. However, I'm also horrified at the prospect of putting any of my medical information into a 'free' app (if it's free, it often means you, and in this case your private information, is the product).
Are there any apps that are well maintained, maybe by a non-profit, that are privacy focused?

When do you allow yourself to forgive what you have caused? Should we? The dread and regret is overwhelming, but I made this bed. Just looking for general thoughts on the subject as I wrestle with it..

Little experiences like the one I'm about to share keep the continued decision to not drink exciting and rewarding day after day...

My 5 year old daughter loves BLUEY like most kids, and she got a few new 'set pieces' for her collection over Christmas (the BLUEY camper trailer, the BLUEY kitchen, etc). Of course she makes her 7 year old brother begrudgingly play BLUEY with her often, and I join in so the poor kid isn't all alone playing with little kid action figures (plus I really like busting out my Australian accent, which is terrible but the kids love). So anyways, on to the point of this post. We're pretending that we're camping out under the stars, the kids have assumed control of all their characters and of course assigned me to the Dad character (Bandit).

Son (as Bluey): Hey guys I'm going into the camper to get some things does anybody need anything?

Me (as Bandit, in shitty Australian accent): Yeeeah, get me a beer there wouldya Bluey?

Son: Sure Dad!

Son again (out of character and whispering to me): Dad, what's a beer?

I was kind of stunned. And also over the moon! At 7 years old I had already started taking slugs out of my father's beers, and every Christmas would get excited to sneak cups of "milkshake" in the basement (Bailey's).

My kids will take a different path than their old man did, and that makes me very happy.

Merry Christmas everybody!!

Made it through my second Christmas sober without even wanting to drink! So I was pretty happy about that.

One thing that’s becoming impossible to ignore though is my father’s unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

Like many of us, I come from a family who doesn’t always have a great relationship with booze, which combined with being part of heavily boozed up communities when I was young lead to my alcoholism. I’ve been sober for just over 2 years now, and my family (inclusing my father) has been very supportive.

But its becoming impossible for me (and the rest of us) to ignore my father’s drinking. He get’s obnoxiously drunk every night, and while I wouldn’t call him aggressive, he often gets nasty and easy to trigger. On Christmas, he started drinking at noon.

It made me, my sister, my stepbrothers and stepmother very uncomfortable, since he’s definitely getting worse. My stepbrother said my stepmother (who I admittedly have a rocky relationship with at the moment) was going to talk to him about it after everyone left today and tomorrow. My sister and I said he could ‘leak’ to my stepmother that we would support her if she chose to do so.

So after that spiel, I have a question for the sub: do any of you have any experience helping an older relative stop drinking after having stopped yourself?

I'm so tired of being sad, I don't know what to do.

My mother died a couple of months ago. She was abusive my entire life, but it's still been hard.

Both my father and my sibling died in December (different years). I've hated XMAS for a long time because of it.

Kid is in college now, first XMAS apart due to campus commitments. Saw them before holiday and they will be visiting next week.

I shut down when I'm emotionally struggling. No one reached out on XMAS really, outside of the usual trite text messages. I feel like people showed me a lot in 2024. Working on returning the same energy to folks in 2025. I feel invisible.

I feel for my spouse. I'm trying so hard to be in a better headspace. I cry when no one is watching. Surely it has to be a drag.

Yes, I'm in therapy.

I'm doing OK not drinking, but surely wish I had another way to just not deal with how I'm feeling.

To live sober is to train your mind in the art of life itself. Each day spent in sobriety strengthens the brain’s ability to navigate the world, to engage with others, and to master the delicate balance of existence. Sobriety is a craft, a skill honed over time.

Imagine a world where everyone moves on roller skates. On such a planet, skating would feel natural, effortless. But walking, something so fundamental and basic, would seem strange, awkward, even impossible. In the same way, when we stay intoxicated, we condition ourselves to operate in an altered state, and the more our brain is deprived of soberty the more it will tend to perfer abiding in an intoxicated state as it fails to function otherwise.

Intoxication dulls the brain’s performance. It erases the memory of how to surf the waves of life with a clear and natural mind. The longer the brain is deprived of sobriety, the more it clings to intoxication, not because it craves it, but because it has forgotten how to exist without it. This is where dependency takes root.

And from dependency, life begins to fracture. You prioritize the substance over those you love, over the responsibilities you carry, and, eventually, over yourself.......Life, once vibrant and whole, starts to crumble, not all at once, but piece by piece, until eventually, you've crossed the point of no return.

I come to this sub often, but this is my first time posting.

Has anyone successfully been in a relationship with someone who is struggling with addiction? My partner struggles with weed/alcohol addiction and it’s putting a strain on our relationship. They’ve expressed wanting to quit, but it doesn’t seem that they’ve made much of an effort to do so. I’m 5 months sober and I know they say not to make any big decisions during the first year, I’m just really struggling to see a future with this person anymore. We’ve been together 5 years, and aside from their addiction they are a really great partner. They show up for me in a lot of ways, and I feel safe and loved by them. But as time goes on, I have started to feel more and more distant from them. Like we are starting to live different lifestyles, and I’m just not sure if this is something I will be able to get past in the long term.

I've tried a lot of different approaches, and nothing has worked. I'm going to give Dry January a try but hope to extend that to at least 100 days if not more. I can't go on just hoping one day I'll change my habits....

I received a health notification on my phone saying my resting heart rate decreased over the past 6 days. Small wins!

What do you do when you're not white knuckling -- as in I don't have a desire to go drink right now -- but more so having ideations of drinking in future vacations, social settings, etc.? I feel like I'm falling into the trap of "it wasn't that bad" and romanticizing every drink I see on TV and social media.

I stopped drinking for 2 years and have slowly started drinking again. I rarely drink but when I do, it is like I can’t remember small things then I remember when someone mentions it.

I also can casually have a beer, since I started drinking again strictly for social events. I have not had a drink by myself in 4.5 years and do not go on binders and never have.

Anyone else like this?

When I drink I enjoy my time during it but it is the following day I get bad anxiety about what ifs and my body feels like crap.

Don’t know what I am asking really just wondering if anyone else only drinks 6-8 times a year and wants to stop.

I don't think I've ever said this to myself or anyone else before. But I need to try writing it down or sharing it with someone now. I’m so ashamed.

I think I’m a secret alcoholic.

Or maybe just an alcoholic. I’ve just gotten drunk again by quickly downing a six-pack of 3.5% beer. Again. I live in Sweden, and honestly, it’s a relief in some ways that I can’t constantly justify buying the latest IPA from Systembolaget’s special order catalog. I’m caught in a cycle of self-deception. I can’t seem to stop myself from drinking.

For the past months, maybe even years, I don’t know I’ve been secretly drinking around my family. I’ve drunk enough to feel tipsy, and I’m pretty sure they haven’t noticed. I make up excuses to run to the grocery store, preferably alone, so I can pick up some new IPA or another interesting beer to try. I have a deep interest in beer, which gives me a perfect excuse to always try something new.

God, I’m so tired of myself. I keep telling myself I’ll stop drinking, and then I keep finding excuses to drink more. On Christmas Eve, I made myself a promise, not to touch alcohol again. I actually stayed sober that day. But today, for example, my wife and I planned to pickle red onions. The ones we had turned out to be too old, so we decided to skip it. Yet, in my endless frustration with myself, I found an excuse to drive to the store to buy new onions, and, of course, a few low-alcohol beers. Can you even get drunk on 3.5% beer? Apparently, if you drink it fast enough. And now here I am, once again.

How did I let it come to this? How do I keep ending up here, time after time? This isn’t me.

I don’t even know what I’m trying to say with all this. I’m lying in bed now next to my sleeping wife, who I don’t think has realized I’m a secret alcoholic. The anxiety is crushing me. I need to do something about this now.

Can someone handle this kind of thing alone, or do you need to ask others for help?