Something I forgot to mention when asking about dating sites earlier, I am in a wheel chair (hoping my surgery in Feb will help). Is mentioning that in a profile more of a red flag, than single male 45?

Now judging by the silence on here i am guessing yes

EDIT: I just moved to a new state in October and wasn’t looking for a relationship and still not. I had been single for 2 years without talking to a single person… just working on myself and getting my life back together after a bad breakup with an extremely toxic person who destroyed me mentally… so I am more looking for a friend/fwb because I do not know anyone here.

ORIGINAL: So I (34m) started seeing this woman (35f) back in October. We met on a dating app. She was real responsive, texting me constantly and quickly… even at work. She would send me tik toks, memes, etc. I met her kids after a month of talking (first man to meet them) she said. Well her dad passes away suddenly…

I understood, was there for her as much as I could be. She then asks for space… mind you we only ever talked during texting or seeing one another. So I tried to give her space, didn’t ask to see her much (only when she wanted to)… well about 2 weeks later, her texts were getting dry and so I messaged her saying “hey I understand you might need space but please tell me if that’s the case because I don’t enjoy getting ignored for hours on end… anywhere between 4-5 hours sometimes). She then immediately tells me she doesn’t have the capacity for a relationship and can’t give me what I need… which really was the bare minimum and she said she couldn’t give me that…

Well after talking it over I decided to be a good person and still wanting to be there for her as a friend/fwb. I explained to her that we enjoy spending time together so might as well continue that (and her kids like me a lot)… well we continue hanging out but only with the kids around. I asked her out tomorrow and she says to me “possibly will see how I feel”. She also ignored me for 16 hours Christmas Eve because she was having an off day… but we talk pretty much all day long any other time.

Oh and I believe she is an Avoidant as well. Bad childhood which she won’t talk to me about…

My question is what do you think is happening? Think it’s because of her being overwhelmed with her dad passing, kids, holiday madness? Or you think she’s lost interest completely and doesn’t know how to let me down…

TLDR: woman I been seeing dad passes away, she gets distant breaks up with me… we still hang out occasionally with kids together and text all day but when I ask her out, she always has an excuse.

so i (16m) i have been talking to a girl (17f) for about 6 months, casually flirting a lot, and in the last few months heavily hinting about getting together. i think after a while when i didn’t ask her out she lost a bit of interest but then i picked it up again and last night we basically said we were going get together and go dating/and or hook up idk. and now today she’s acting like none of that happened and leaving me on delivered for a 30 minutes to an hour while also being online in those gaps and i’m just kinda confused what she wants. i’m definitely getting played rn but idk if i should tell/ask her why or just fucking jump ship and run. i have a suspicion she uses this guise of “i’m so lonely” to hook up with people and then actually has a few other guys in her logs. on the other hand we do connect rly well (could be fake) and she’s open to me about a lot of things, which i thought meant i was friendzoned for a while until she said we should link.

so idk i’m just confused af about what this girl wants from me and i strongly believe i should just dip even though this girl is probably my favourite person atm. sums it up pretty well i think.

So I met this guy at a rave and I was instantly struck by cupids arrow from the moment I saw him. His looks, personality, and I just feel like we really connected. We raved together a few times and have had sex. And we were making plans to date. But then after that I interpreted his communication with me through text as cold and distant. I was beginning to think maybe he just saw me as a sexual object. I wanted to test the waters, so I sent him a “spicy” video of myself, to which he said completely turned him off. I made things worse by over apologizing and getting emotional and I lost my cool. Ever since then he’s friendzoned me. And it sucks because I was really liking him, like I really think he’s special. He said the friendzoning was due to our “age gap” but I don’t think that’s it because we were having some great times. I think I just came on way too strong too fast. I’ve just never felt like this toward someone. I don’t know what to do, I respect his boundaries but I can’t stop thinking about him.

It’s been a few months and he’s being friendly toward me and I don’t want to ruin that progress but I really want to test asking him out on a date again.

Maybe something like:

Hey, I won some tickets to see [show name] but the person I was going to go with can’t go, want to come with me?

if he says yes I’ll say:

Cool, make it a date? Don’t worry, I won’t get crazy again

I don’t know what do you guys think?

I’m 19M and am decent looking. Not ugly but not like anything special I’d say I happen to be on the shorter side. I also happen to just have 0 confidence with girls and whenever I do have the confidence to go on a date, I often freak out before hand and feel like backing out. I’ve never had a girlfriend, still a virgin and it’s really weighing on me. Any tips on how to “build” any confidence?

Shortened: I just kinda always tense up around girls feel nervous and never want to make a move cuz I don’t feel confident doing so, and feel like it makes girls uncomfortable.

Hello. Im a 21yr male and i have previously been in a toxic relationship for about 3 years. Fortunately i have finally left, my ex partner was a narcissist and im pretty sure psychopathic. I fell out of love a long time ago so leaving wasn’t as hard. I have recently met this new guys and i actually like him, hes respects me and isnt rude. We both work all day so we see spend the night with each other but we go to the bar or restaurant as a date when we can. We both share in common being in toxic relationships and we both are working on our mental issues. My toxic relationship was my first and only actual relationship, which brings me into my concern, how do you date? My past relationship had me walking on eggs shells all the time so i just naturally think violence is associated with passionate love (working on it) so how do i know its gonna work out?I find this dude attractive and i like hugging me and going to sleep with him. Im just concerned because I haven’t developed an obsession as strong for him as my last one and i really struggle with communicating my feelings. We only have been dating for a month now and we even said “i love you” when saying goodbye. I dont know what to do? How do be in a relationship? Is love commitment? Or is it based on strong feelings for each others. He is on anti depressants and anti anxiety so thats were im really worried. I feel like the medicine blunt his emotions and im not sure if he feels the same way. He texts me everyday and invites me everywhere. I feel really bad for myself because all i remember from my last relationship was to just always stay home and being told what to do. I feel stuck and i feel like is its gonna ruin this. How do approach this within myself?

30F. Spent my 20s getting played by casual sex when I want true love. I live in a major city so meeting men is easy, but meeting kind and thoughtful men has been impossible. All my friends have lucked out in 7+ year relationships and now marriages. I feel like I’m scraping the barrel for commitment these days.

I have a great job, lots of talents, great at cooking, workout 2-4x a week and very fit, into beauty and fashion, well traveled, with my own apartment. I want someone equally ambitious and attractive.

Has anyone in a similar position tried a matchmaking service? Should I try local or are there services online that can scout my city? Is this a waste a money considering I am a social and successful person? It would help me date emotionally as I can be anxious about my own dates and matches who have had ulterior motives all decade. To know the other is not going to rush me into their bed and actually wants to have a convo and get to know me for the right reasons feels so simple and insane to pay for a third party.

I know the kind of person I want and the kind of person I am in a relationship, and could be long term. What sort of details would I provide? What has been the timing for dates and success in relationships? Have you been met with more or less skepticism from your dates through a matchmaker?

Don’t go for the bad boys

I met someone a year ago. Connection from the beginning. He set the pace - asking me out for the first time, calling me, kissing me!

Through all of that, he maintained that he only saw me as a "friend". We had a really horrible fight in the middle (that's when the sexual stuff stopped) which he ghosted me through but continued to call me when convenient / when he needed to talk.

Now, we are in a better place, he apologised, and I have not explicitly forgiven him but we talk on the phone almost every day. Because of our intense chemistry, our conversations are also intense (about our hopes, dreams, struggles). I feel deeply understood by him but also, not seen. He is moody so everything is on his terms - when we speak, how he responds, how much he wants to listen. There are times when the only person I want to tell something to is him but I never know how he will respond. This unpredictability means that the power dynamic is very skewed towards him and it makes me feel like I am not valued.
Its important to note that he actively does things that make me not feel valued - like not wishing me on my birthday, or being curt with me when he knows I am having a bad day, or never replying to my texts.
Whenever I have brought this up, he has said "I behave as naturally as I can because I don't want to sugar coat my actions" but it just feels unkind at this point.
There is also this recurrent theme of him not caring or valuing our equation as much as I do (I know this because he explicitly says it) but there is something here that I am not able to let go of. I felt for a long time that it was our inherent understanding, but now I wonder if its my own wounds that are keeping me hooked.

Anyway, now it has been a whole year of us doing this and I think I cant keep doing this anymore. Especially because he shifts from acting like we are dating to saying oh we are just friends and I hope I get into a relationship this year. And that makes me feel like I am constantly just trying to win his affection. That maybe if we keep speaking, he will see me and he will see how rare our connection is and then he will want me.

Any advice for me?

1 week ago Wednesday, I (25M) matched with this girl (23F) on Hinge. After matching, we texted nonstop for nearly 8 hours each day for two days straight. I know that sounds crazy, but the conversations were amazing, with no dry moments or awkward pauses. They were genuinely fluid. We talked about each other’s interests, goals, reasons for being on the app, our backgrounds, etc.—things that I would usually skim over and discuss further on a first date. To me, it was clear that we should meet up to see if we had that chemistry in person, so I asked her if she was free on Saturday. She responded, “Yes.”

Saturday – The First Date:

Saturday came, and I planned to take her to a nice coffee shop connected to a mall. It was my idea so she could feel a sense of safety. However, we ended up walking around the mall for about 8 hours without ever going to the coffee shop because we were so distracted and deep into conversation. I’ve never felt such a strong connection with a potential partner before. At no point did anything feel forced from either of us—time just flew by, and we were both surprised by how quickly it passed (which seemed like a good sign).

At one point, she asked if I was talking to anyone else. I said “No” (which was true), and she then showed me her phone, which had over 400 matches from just 2 days on Hinge. She had only texted one other person, but she openly admitted she wasn’t interested in them and was interested in me.

The Conversation:

Some things she brought up on the first date were deeper than I’d usually get into so early on—insecurities, sexual experiences, deep family issues, and even how many kids I wanted. She asked if I would be okay if she got an IUD (in hindsight, that was probably a red flag to bring up on a first date). She also joked about things like whose last name the kids would take. It was all a bit overwhelming, but I just went with the flow.

When we got onto the topic of exes, she mentioned her last partner. She said that he played her by admitting, “I got what I wanted,” and that she wasn’t sure if she was fully over him. She also mentioned that she still follows him on social media but doesn’t believe in blocking exes. I’m the same way, but I don’t think I would still follow my exes. I took it as a red flag, but didn’t say anything, just kept going with the conversation.

End of the Night:

Later, we ended up going to a steakhouse because it was the only place open at 11 PM nearby, and I had a good feeling about the night, so I didn’t mind. After dinner (yes, I paid), we went back to my car, and I surprised her with flowers. She almost teared up and said no guy had ever given her flowers. I kissed her on the cheek, but I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable or forced.

We then sat in the car and started talking about the second date. I told her I wanted to surprise her, and she seemed excited. She even said she couldn’t wait to tell her friends about me and asked if I’d tell my family. I thought that was a bit too forward and definitely way too soon, but in the moment, I was “love-blinded” and felt like she was “the one,” so I told her, “Yes.”

At the end of the night, we shared a long hug, locked eyes, and I asked if it would be okay to give her a kiss. She said she would prefer to wait until the second date, and I completely respected that. She asked me to text her when I got home (it was 4 AM by this point). She felt bad about the late hour and said she’d invite me upstairs but that her place was a mess. I told her it was fine and texted her when I got home to let her know I made it back safely.

The Day After:

The next morning, I texted her “Good morning,” which she told me was cute, but I noticed her response times started slowing down. She was leaving me on read for hours at a time, so I took the hint and gave her some space. I had a feeling something was off, and while I tend to overthink, I’m usually not wrong when I do.

In the afternoon, I was surprised to receive a massive message—over 800 words. She said she didn’t want to lead me on because she didn’t feel the “attraction.” She told me I was the nicest guy, that she liked me, but wasn’t sure if it could become a relationship. She said she would be willing to go on another date, but she couldn’t guarantee that it would turn into anything serious. She wanted us to see other people while we worked on the “attraction” as friends. She reassured me it wasn’t anything I did or how I looked.

Her Message and My Response:

Reading her message was tough. I took about an hour to respond, thanking her for her honesty and telling her I must have picked up the wrong signals. I explained that I have never befriended someone I have romantic feelings for, and that I’m not the type of person who dates multiple people at once. I stuck to my values and made it clear that I wasn’t interested in just being friends.

She responded with another long message saying she really wanted to make it work and suggested that we take some time to be friends and see if the attraction could grow. She told me I could take my time to figure it out and let her know when I was ready.

The Christmas Day Message:

Two days after her paragraph, on Christmas Day, I posted a picture of myself at the gym with a “Happy Holidays” caption. She messaged me saying, “You don’t need to be going to the gym for me. Your physical appearance had nothing to do with it. I think you’re cute, but the attraction is missing.” I found this a bit odd and told her that I wasn’t going to the gym for her. This experience had just sparked a desire in me to work on my confidence, and I had been meaning to go to the gym. It wasn’t for her, but she did give me the push to start.

Where I Stand Now:

It’s been 5 days since our last communication, and I’m still really confused about what to do next. In the past, if I’ve ever been friend-zoned, I would just move on. But in this case, I wanted to come here for advice.

People around me are telling me to cut things off completely. Others are saying to be friends with her and see if the attraction grows over time, and some suggest not to pursue a relationship but to just be friends. I do really like her—or maybe it’s the idea of her. I want to see where this could go, but I also know I’m not the type of guy who can be friends with someone I have romantic feelings for, especially if she starts dating someone else in the future.

The conversation ended with her agreeing to wait to hear from me about whether I’m ready to be friends.

Looking for Advice:

I’m really stuck on what to do. Should I try to be friends and see if the attraction grows, or should I move on? I’m not sure I can handle being just friends, especially if she ends up dating someone else in a few months.

Any advice would be really appreciated!

Thanks for reading through all of this, and sorry for the long post. I just wanted to give enough context to get some solid advice.

Hey all, I'm a guy who always puts decent amount of efforts on his appearance, and thus I'm always called to be a decent looking individual as well. Most of the time, when people/women look at me or my pictures, they say that I have a cute vibe.

But then,I'm really unsuccessful at dating. No matches on online dating as well. And I've always heard that being cute is good, but a woman will rather go for a hot guy vs a cute guy.

So, is being hot the bare minimum required nowadays? And what's the difference between hot and cute?

And why are cute men not meant to be successful at dating, even though they fulfill the threshold of being attractive enough?

I’m the sender of the previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/1hlw6qw/onenight_stand_regret_he_rejected_me_after_and_i/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

After a few days, I’ve realized why I felt so upset. I was fully aware it was a one-night stand, and when I asked him if he’d want to do it again the other night, I was prepared for rejection.

But what hurt me wasn’t the rejection itself—it was how he rejected me. He said I was the one who asked for it, acted desperate, and even told me it was all my fault.

Yes, I kissed him first, and I admit that. But I was very drunk. After he took me to another room, I was limp on the floor. He could’ve stopped. He could’ve just left me there. But he didn’t. He was the one who took off my jeans and initiated everything that followed, even though I was heavily intoxicated.

Looking back, I realize I wasn’t the one acting desperate that night—I was drunk, and he made a choice. It was no one's fault.

That realization has been heavy, but I needed to share it. Thank you to everyone who offered kind words and support before—it’s meant a lot.

What does it mean? Am I expected to put out? I don’t know if i’m ready for a full blown relationship. I feel like in general i’m just curious and want to try out things. I’m in college and come from a v religious family so I don’t really have much experience w boys. Some of my friends tell me it’s best to lose my V card in a serious relationship. And i’ve yet to lose it. I feel like non-serious relationships would involve or expect sex right? And how soon?

Idk I know I’m inexperienced w these things, that’s why im cautious.

I’m in a bit of a dilemma and could really use some outside perspective. My ex(M21) and I (F21) broke up about four months ago, and we’ve been in no contact since then. The breakup was really hard on me, and I’ve spent most of that time trying to heal and move on.

During this time, I hooked up with someone else. It didn’t mean anything—it was just part of me trying to cope and figure out life without my ex. Now: my ex recently reached out and wants to meet up. I still have strong feelings for him and am open to the idea of seeing where things could go, but I’m scared about something he said when we were together.

when we were together he told me that if we ever broke up and I got with someone else, he wouldn’t be able to get back together with me (I was also agreeing). I’m worried he might ask if I’ve been with anyone else since the breakup, and I don’t know what to say.

Part of me wants to lie and say no because I don’t want to ruin the chance of us reconnecting. But another part of me feels like honesty is important, even if it hurts or risks the relationship.

I’d really appreciate any advice or insight from people who have been in similar situations.

I (F24)was going out with a guy(pilot and a druggie) I had matched with on bumble , he is almost 10 years older than me , he was from a different city ,living alone in my hometown with his roommate ,he was a thoughtful and a loving gentlemen and everything was going smoothly between us, but suddenly out of the blue ,he told me his family is forcing him to marry in a month , while we were still courting , i knew I wasn't ready for marriage even though I liked him ,so I cut ties with him once I realised he is getting married

Few days back he messaged me on Instagram, we chatted on Instagram and we got a bit emotional, he wanted to meet me and he started mentioning about how much he missed me , he confessed that he waited outside my house one night, just to get a glimpse of me and that he is not able to connect with his wife even though she is nice , he insisted on meeting again and again , and I said no,but then again ,a part of me wanted to see him again as well.

So I decided to meet him , I met him at the airport and we had breakfast and then I went to drop him home , where he invited me in for tea and he was doing mdma and he asked me try it out( i never did drugs ,but after meeting him ,i had done ecstasy only once, with him), since he was older he said he will make sure nothing will happen to me and tbh I wanted to experiment in a safe environment , so I gave it a shot, while we were high he told me all about his marriage (his wife's name and occupation ) then he started mentioning how much he misses me and how how hard it is for him to be away from me and I still had feelings for him, I started feeling hot and cold at the same time because of the high , he hugged me and slowly started calming me down , and I broke down, and i gave in ,I let my emotions get the best of me and we ended up having sex and I was so guilty that I honestly hated myself but when I got back home ,I searched his wife up and I found a picture she posted on Instagram which completely made me have mixed feelings .

Turns out he was already engaged when we had matched on bumble , so throughout the process I was also fooled . And that doesn't justify my actions but I think that I was taught a lesson .Have you ever been in a similar situation ? what did you in such a situation ?

Im a 24 year old student and i work part time at a supermarket.

Over there, there is this one good looking coworker also a uni student from another uni and i find her extremely attractive and I think that she doesnt mind me either as she always speaks to me with a cuter voice than the other employee's.

I see her if im lucky 3 times a week gor at least 4 hours. I know about the saying you dont shit where you eat thats why i have been super hesitant in asking for her number or socials.

What should i actually do?

I’m 26 years old and 5’3” tall. I know this is considered short for an average Filipino man, and it has affected my confidence over the years. I’m not bad-looking, and my physique is in good shape since I work out regularly at home (I have a build similar to Carlos Yulo). However, I sometimes wonder: if I were taller, would it boost my confidence when speaking in front of a crowd? Would it change the way women perceive me?

Let’s be honest—many women seem to prefer taller men as partners. I’m curious about the reasons behind this preference beyond the idea that it “looks good” when the man is taller. Are there deeper explanations?

Also, are there women out here who prefer shorter men or don’t mind being with a "short king"? What height would you consider as the range for a "short king"?

Hello everyone,

(35F) I’m reaching out for some advice as I find myself in a unique situation. After being married for over 10 years, my husband and I have decided to open our marriage. This is all new territory for me, as I haven’t dated anyone outside of my spouse in over a decade.

I’m curious about how to approach dating in this day and age while in an open marriage. What are some tips or best practices for navigating this landscape? How do people generally feel about dating someone who is married but in an open relationship? Should I even bother trying to date, or are there potential pitfalls I should be aware of?

Any insights or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated!

I'm starting to get insecure about my race in terms of dating: I'm a 20 almost 21 year old black male with absolutely no dating experience. At first I really didn't think race was that big of a deal, but I've been looking at data and it's showing black males are the least responded to or rank very low to all women except black women on dating apps, most people prefer their own race I live in a place where it's 90% white. I can't get a single like across ALL dating apps, I got very minimal attention from the opposite sex during school, and none now unless they're coworkers or family. Despite how tough it is to live on your own, especially in a new location, do I just move to a city to raise my chances just to have a higher chance of not being alone? Goodnight

So, I never thought I’d like do something like this, for reference me and my bf are young I’m 19 and he’s 18 going on 19 in a few days. I love him to death and we’ve been best friends for YEEAAARRRS. My bf works as a server at a (unnamed restaurant) and he referred to me as his wife to someone today. But for some reason it didn’t make me like happy. I got really uncomfortable, and idk why. Now for some reason I’m thinking about if I really wanna marry him and all that. And I even thought about a break. I don’t know why I feel this way or what caused it:( I’m super confused and idk what to do we’ve been together for almost two years and off and on in the past. Help:((( I feel so confused about everything

Genuine question: I've heard good arguments for, against, and somewhere in between letting (for lack of a better word) romantic partners have partners if the opposite sex. I'm all for healthy boundaries in relationships. I also think I'm bisexual and would like to eventually date a bisexual person. I'm open to any advice for healthy boundaries that don't prevent us from having friends and being social.

There's this co-worker at my previous workplace. We also go to the same gym, so we run into each other there sometimes.... So moving forward, one day I ran into her and we started talking , later she asked me to hangout and go some place, and asked me to text her. So naturally I thought she's asking me out. I was kinda excited, cuz I'm kinda into her. 😬 So after few days I texted her, and we started making some plans, like where n when, and we came up to a decision. So When everything was done and we came up to a conclusion.... so told me she wants to invite other co workers. Here I am thinking I might be going out on a date. Tell me am I stupid or am I stupid? 😐

I don't do anything creepy. Maybe things start off just a little dry but the conversation always ends before I even get a chance to show that I can be interesting. If I don't just get straight up rejected, the best I ever get is a few boring small talk texts. I never even get a chance to even tell them anything about me or learn anything about them. What could be SO off-putting about me that makes this happen like 100% of the time? I'm not ugly or anything. This even happens if the woman complimentse first. Sometimes they even tell me they think I'm attractive but within a day it's always crickets.

I 25F have been going to the gym for 3 months. From Day 1, I laid my eyes on This guy as I find him very hot. At this point, it’s kind of the motivation to go to gym because there might be a chance to see him lol

Thing is I am very introverted person and I get self conscious in this cases. It’s also because he is somewhat tall, like 5”10-6 and I am like 5 feet. I would say I have a nice face but I definitely don’t have a model body. I have never approached anyone. I looked at him sometimes and look right away so I am not sure if he ever thought of these as “hints.” There are days I see him staring and looking away very quickly too. There are days he doesn’t stare at all. So I don’t want to be delusional. I try to be realistic and convince myself that he isn’t looking at me with the same intention that I am looking with.

When I come home, I always tell myself that I will say hi next time but when I see him, I am barely able to go near him. I don’t want him to think I am a creep. The closest I ever got was asking a personal trainer (who is also a friend at this point) the guys name but he did not want to reveal, gotta respect that .

But Any advice?

Hello, this is first relationship I, 21m met this guy 19M on tinder he says he is closeted but wants to know what it would be like to date a guy and so we met and. We kissed on the first date and said I love yours 2 weeks after, he’s in school and we’ve been talking for 2 months now and back when he was at college he would respond to me pretty fast within 1-2 hours but now that he’s back home I find myself getting delivered for 7+ hours and not hearing from him the next morning, even though his Snapchat score goes up but I guess he’s ignoring me? Why is that? We’ve been in 6 dates so far I met his mom and we made out in 5 dates. I’m honestly confused why can’t he just respond to me when he’s online ? I don’t understand and I would like some insights, this is my first relationship ever