I'm 33 and all the single girls I find are always 18-22 and I'm just not interested in women with that kind of maturity going on. I feel like it's extremely difficult to find a woman that want's to settle down for the right person and start a family.

I didn't vote trump, I believe in equality for all, and I don't believe relationships should be based on owning the other. I hate dating apps, they're mostly full of bots anyway or women trying to sell their onlyfans.

I want to meet women IRL but it's extremely scary in today's environment to approach women and based on if they find me attractive or not is how they determine if I might be harassing them.

Like I'm not just trying to sleep around here. I don't want to be used. I just want loyalty and honesty, and it seems almost impossible to find. Especially dating after Covid, people just got extremely reserved and untrusting of anything.

I (28f) am white. Honestly, I just stop trying at this point I assume? I can't change my race and I feel i will never gain his affection. This is the 3rd guy who I have heard this about. Is the preference that strong that I have no chance? Why has it happened so much to me?

I’m sick of wasting my time on dating apps when you can’t actually tell chemistry until you meet irl so I’ve been trying to meet people in person more.

Ik men are afraid of #metoo and stuff now, but I (attractive 23f) have literally never had a man approach me and start talking to me- not respectful flirting, not rude pickup lines, literally nothing/ never. I’m usually doing something (grocery shopping, public transit, etc) so I reasoned that was why, men don’t want to bother me.

So a few days ago I went to a club for the first time and again, nobody talked to me (I was there for at least 2 hours). When I make eye contact with a man I smile, and I make sure my body language is open/ relaxed; I don’t know what else I can do. I live in a democratic urban area so maybe that’s part of the problem?

I want to go to a bar tonight and try again but if nobody talks to me again I’m gonna be super bummed- I thought the whole point of going to bars and clubs was to meet new people, but everyone there just seems very clicky with the person/ people they came with, and the men on their own seem content to be wallflowers. So what can I do? I considered commissioning a pin that says “flirt with me” or something, but I don’t want to give the impression that I’m looking for a ons. I’m so lonely. Would appreciate any advice.

Is the age difference between 17m and 15f too big? I understand it is legal, and my hard cutoff line of morality is 2 years. She is 1 year and 355 days younger, meaning she will be 16 before I'm 18, but the age gap is pretty close to my limit, and i dont know if i should pursue the relationship or find someone else.

Edit: We have talked about it, and she said 2 years wasn't bad at all. I still don't know how to feel about it myself.

I would like as many opinions as possible please. Thank you.

I am new to the dating scene, for the last 10 years I was in a relationship. These past few months have been spent dating and getting accustomed to that. It's definitely been difficult, but also fun and I have learned a lot about myself in the process.

The downside is sex. I do not have sex with someone unless I am in a relationship. I think sex is very personal and way beyond wanting to get off. Because of this I've been called childish, a bore, tease, etc.

I am pretty upfront with this. I'm not against messing around, but full intercourse, for me, requires trust and commitment. I dated this guy for a bit & this really bothered him. He went on and on about how sex isn't serious and would never get into a relationship with someone if they didn't have sex first.

I've encountered this thought process with a few guys. Is this how most men think? It's feeling kinda hopeless, and the idea of continuing dating feels numbing. Maybe it's my age? I'm 26. I think there's some expectation of sex for a woman my age. Need some advice or some encouragement to keep trying lol.

I’ve(24F) been on and off with B(24F) for 2+ years now. We deeply love each other, but things like mental health, long distance and life circumstances caused us to break 2 times during these 2 years. Until recently, she was the only person I’ve been with. I’m also bi sexual.

B broke up with me in early November, and it was really messy and left me feeling extremely hurt. I wasn’t sure she ever wanted anything to do with me. In a bid to try to get over her, and to boost my self esteem (I struggle with really low self worth, am in therapy for it), I made an hinge account.

One day, after a party at my place, I was very drunk and high and lonely and decided to invite a totally random guy to my place to hookup. We did it and afterwards he left. I felt extreme guilt and shame in the morning when I was clear headed and decided that hookups weren’t for me. Two weeks after that, I was similarly drunk and high, and ended up inviting a random guy again to hook up, felt the same shame and guilt and self hatred the moment u was clear headed.

Yesterday, I was hanging out with a friend, and we were drinking and getting high and watching a movie. He started to make a move on me, and despite the fact that I am not attracted to him at all and had no desire to do anything with him, I didn’t stop him. I let him take off his and my clothes and then I guess I finally make to my senses and stopped him and made him swear to never tell anyone because i felt extremely shitty about it and didn’t know how to deal. I promptly left his place but the event and the shame and guilt are still going through my head.

B reached out to me about a week ago and said she wanted to be my friend and that she wants to eventually be with me, but she doesn’t feel ready yet.

I just feel like an incredibly shitty human. I am feeling so much shame and self loathing about these random hookups that I didn’t even enjoy, and know that I never want to do again. But I knew that after the first time, then why did I do it again? Why didn’t i stop my friend the moment he started hitting on me? Does this all make me a horrible person? And should I tell B about all this? It wasn’t cheating because we weren’t together, but I still feel like I betrayed her somehow. If I should tell her, how should I go about it?

My head is spinning and I would appreciate any advice you guys have.

I wonder if there are any ways a guy can identify if he's in the same "league" with a girl he's attracted to?

Being a very analitical guy, I realize that girls I'm naturally attracted to - are most probably attractive to many other men as well. Which is why they are in high demand, and can pick any guy they like. Which means to compete for them - you need to have objectively high "value" yourself (be in their "league").

I don't consider myself a very high-value man, based on my previous interactions with girls, and also looking at myself objectively. I lack many qualities associated with "high-value man", and I'm fine with it. It's not self-pity or wining - I just don't desire to chase high status and success and fame, and become top-X % by any cost necessary. I value my comfort and my time too much, and want to enjoy life - not suffer for the sake of some ghostly over-achievements.

Which is why I conclude that going after the aforementioned girls would be a waste of time, and also probably freak them out. You know how girls estimate how good they are - by the caliber of men approaching them? A man below their league showing interest - would make them uncomfortable, as in "Who does he think he is, going after me? Do I really look that bad or needy, that he thinks he got a chance?".

Guess I just want to minimize frustration on both sides and target girls that would be more "my level" and receptive to my aspirations. Any advice?

My female(indian) friends were talking about Indian men are not upto the standards, they are misogynistic, patriarchal,creepy etc and Indian women have to suffer because of that. I agree as an Indian guy, I just said indian women should marry non indian men just like Rahul(another indian male friend) who only dates non indian women and that should solve the issue. Rahul(not his real name btw) also used to talk like this about how indian women are too clingy, involve family, religion etc Once he started just dating non indian women he hardly does complain now. Both of the women got angry at me and called me a**hole for suggesting this instead of becoming better as a group and not taking responsibility of the bad characteristics of our culture. I had no bad intention, I just said what I saw worked. What do y'all think? Was my wording too rude or did I come off as trying to hurt their feelings?

I (19M) have a girlfriend (20F) and she was in a relationship she says was toxic for about 2 years before we got together. Problem is, I know myself and I have toxic habits. A lot of them. I’ve dealt with seeing people get picked over me my entire life and I got assaulted for about 5 years through ages 8-13, among some other stuff I don’t need to get into. I need control over everything and I cannot handle hearing her talk about any other man in a positive way, I know, I’m insecure, no need to point it out for me. Anytime time she calls me cute or sweet or anything that implies some sort of innocence or harmlessness I lose it, and she hates it and I can’t even really explain why I react that way. Rather than admit I’m wrong, I spin the entire thing around, start another fight and it pretty much ends up with her crying. The most fucked up part about all of it is that I feel a sense of thrill when she cries about something. I don’t know why and I don’t want to feel like that because I know it’s wrong, just like pretty much every other shitty habit I’ve mentioned. I seriously do not want to be like this because I love this girl but I can’t shake the awful habits that I have. If you have any advice or experience with these feelings please feel free to help me out.

Tale as old as time, great first date but then no follow up. I expressed after the date that I would be open to a second. He never followed up which is fine I get it but he was always watching my stories and even liking them.

I let him lurk for the past month and I decided to message him after he liked one of my stories that was flirty in nature (not particularly aimed at him). I said don’t be liking my stuff if you’re not gonna ask me on a second date and he pretty much dodged the statement and we just chatted for a bit. After our exchange I came to terms with the situation and unfollowed him and removed him as a follower because I’m not looking to be friends with men I meet through dating apps.

Anyway, I guess my question is why do people do this? What is the point?

I give up lol.

I’m (supposedly) what women want. But it just ain’t in the cards for me

I’m 22m, 6fig net worth and income, nice apt and car. Conventionally attractive (5”10) and I have been lifting for over 6 years. I don’t party, I have hobbies and a dog, travel, have a post grad education. And I’m not a shithead lol

But I don’t get it. I tried a little of hinge and got a few matches but all in all just am so discouraged by today’s dating environment. It just seems like the juice isn’t worth the squeeze

I was in a relationship from 16-22. Ran its course and I learned a lot but I’m beginning to just prepare myself that wife and kids just aren’t in the cards…I’m already out of school, and work at a small company. I don’t really have friends due to the 6 yr relationship and lack of wanting to go to bars esp alone.

Seems as though I fit the bill for what girls say they want but it feels like the odds are stacked against me. Anyone else?

I know I will never find girlfriend. Also I am virgin at 36 and it is killing me inside. I know it won't fix the issue, but nothing can at this point.

I don't want to be virgin anymore.

It feels like dating has gotten way harder in recent years.. especially with how much social media influences everything. I’m 19 and single, and it already feels like a struggle to meet people who are actually interested in getting to know each other. Apps don’t seem to help either.. they just make everything feel more shallow and competitive. What do you think.. do you have any tips?

I (M26) met someone off hinge about 6 months ago and we agreed to be friends but I ended up falling for her even tho she’s been adamant we’re only friends, like I got her birthday presents and some souvenirs from my trip to Japan. She went distant on me this past month after we went Edinburgh together. Long story short I’ve just found out she has a FWB and honestly it’s kinda torn me up a bit. I’m not even sure why I have feelings for her when she never asks how my day is or invites me out to the weekly quiz (coincidentally where she met her FWB) but it feels like a drug wanting to talk to her.

This guy i was dating for 3 months turned out to be an entire lie, he lied about his entire life and everything to do with anything just to use me, i found out he had a gf the entire time and he constantly cheats on her for fun etc, obviously i broke things off after i found out and confronted him (which he obviously denied)

I work in the same mall as him so things are a bit awkward as our stores are next to one another, but i found out from another coworker that he is talking to another girl (who also works near us) and he is now using her whilst still having a gf, i really want to approach her and tell her how wicked and sick this man is and that he has a girlfriend but i don’t know how to do it and i don’t know if i have a right to, she might just think i’m some crazy jealous ex.

i also want to say that he has sex with multiple girls whilst he cheats but obviously the girls don’t know this, so this is another dangerous aspect,

how do i approach this?

I am a 18 year old guy just graduated highschool and going to tech college and i got broken up with a bit ago. I’m a very shy person when first talking to someone new and especially around some I find attractive. I tell myself I need to ask for their number and I’ve tried but they just look at me weird. I know I’m not the most attractive but I don’t think I’m hideous. I would like to try online dating as well but I can’t find anyone for that. I’m a 6,3 white boy kinda chubby. And no girls will ask for my snap or number.

I 25F have been going to the gym for 3 months. From Day 1, I laid my eyes on This guy as I find him very hot. At this point, it’s kind of the motivation to go to gym because there might be a chance to see him lol

Thing is I am very introverted person and I get self conscious in this cases. It’s also because he is somewhat tall, like 5”10-6 and I am like 5 feet. I would say I have a nice face but I definitely don’t have a model body. I have never approached anyone. I looked at him sometimes and look right away so I am not sure if he ever thought of these as “hints.” There are days I see him staring and looking away very quickly too. There are days he doesn’t stare at all. So I don’t want to be delusional. I try to be realistic and convince myself that he isn’t looking at me with the same intention that I am looking with.

When I come home, I always tell myself that I will say hi next time but when I see him, I am barely able to go near him. I don’t want him to think I am a creep. The closest I ever got was asking a personal trainer (who is also a friend at this point) the guys name but he did not want to reveal, gotta respect that .

But Any advice?

I’ve (25F) been struggling with body image as most young women might, somehow got it into my mind that if I’m not a 10 I won’t be desired. If my hips aren’t perfectly curved I don’t deserve such an amazing hot guy.

What a stupid thing to say but I get stuck on the idea that I’m going to be less desired next to other attractive women. I know personality and who you are and how you live life and all that is obviously what matters, we’re our own people and that’s the gold. But it feels like the stereotype that men are so visual has become very loud in my brain, and I’ll always be compared to other women subconsciously.

I don’t want to live my life feeling like I’m not worth real connection with someone I actually like it’s just not sustainable. Im not unattractive and I love working out but sometimes it feels that there is a perfect shape a perfect girl that he still deserves. I don’t know how to stop feeling so inferior to other wom

I want my next relationship to come more organically, and I’m not knocking the success of those that have used dating apps, but I just want to take a different approach to meeting someone this time for a variety of reasons.

My last relationship ended pretty badly…as she wound up being a very emotionally unavailable dismissive avoidant who initially seemed very emotionally available, and the relationship definitely brought out the anxious-attachment in me from starting off way more secure in the beginning. I’m taking time to heal right now, find my secure self again and become more grounded.

I’m looking for ideas on how to meet women (without directly searching for one…it can take time and I’m fine with that) down the road that don’t involve bars/alcohol etc. So far, I’ve come up with:

1) joining a local concert band/wind ensemble (which I planned on doing anyway)

2) taking Jiu Jitsu (plan on doing anyway)

3) taking yoga (I do have a meditation background and have interest…but I’m wondering if I wouldn’t be seen as really suspicious)

What other ideas might you have?

I’m a practicing Buddhist who lives in the south in a small town, so church isn’t really an option that interests me.

I’m 6”2 (1.88m) and she is 5”0 (1.53m) We’re both 20 years old, and we have been dating for about 2 months now, I feel like I never had a connection like this in my life, she is pretty funny and everything I ever looked for. The only thing problem I find myself struggle with is the height that is also makes her look younger- I’ve always dated taller girls around my height And it’s my first time dating someone who is significantly shorter than me I guess it has to do something with public image, when we walk outside and people look I kind of feel that they get the wrong idea, That I’m a man dating a child or something like that, she soon to meet my parents and I’m kind of afraid of the reaction. I feel like I’m the problem to be honest and we did talk about it. Anyways just looking for tips, if anyone felt the same? How did you get by? And I just paranoid?

Sorry for bad English it’s like my third language.

Hi! Just like the title says, I’m wondering when to tell men I (28f) match with about being on disability. It’s not a huge deal, but basically I was born premature and have some mental stuff. Also cerebral palsy (mild and I can walk, just not long distances). But every time I match with a guy and tell him I’m on it, he unmatches/leaves me on read. I’m just wondering when the right time is to bring it up, if there is.

Thank you in advance! Happy New Year!

Edit : I made it clear that I don’t think being a virgin is inherently wrong. All of us were at one point.

Whenever there is any mutual sexual and emotional attraction with a guy, he ends up telling me he has never had sex before. This has happened way too often now. I have seen this happen with various men from the ages (19-27). A few have also been in relationships. But they ended up never having sex.

Is this a sign of something? I want someone with my level of experience. Besides, I slept around a bit and worry they would feel weirded out by it. I would like someone in the same boat as me. But it either never works out or I find them to be wildly disrespectful/unavailable later on.

I want to know if its the energy I give off. I find it quite puzzling. And I'd like to know there is nothing wrong with being a virgin.

Been ashamed of my kink (foot fetish) ever since my ex made it weird when i told her about it, now im too ashamed to bring it up when dating. The reason i feel the need to tell the people im dating is because this is something i didn’t choose to have but was given. I love it, but i want someone to love it with me instead of making me feel ashamed.

For perspective i’m a 24M Boxer, Fit, Been told i’m good looking.

Not a weird dude asking for feet pics or anything

Also women: “What the fuck get away from me you damn creeper, I have a boyfriend for fuck’s sake!”

This behavior needs to be studied.

From women that I know, this is one of the biggest turn offs. If they are into a guy and then see that on his social media, he follows a bunch of scantily dressed women and has liked photos of them.

A lot of men do it, follow random accounts of women they don’t actually know, and interact with their photos showing a lot of themselves.

If you are a guy, what would be the reasoning behind doing this? And if you are a woman, how do you feel about if a guy you are into does this?