(Not marking NSFW because not discussing any details of the fwb acts)

I 28f was seeing a guy 28m casually for about a month, when he did something that hurt me in a way I KNOW he didn’t intend. Because we were casual, I just decided I couldn’t talk to him about it, and then I ended it because I figured he didn’t owe me the communication I needed to not be hurt like that again. In retrospect, I should’ve just talked to him about it because I’m so sure he would’ve been receptive.

And now, I’m sad. I liked just hanging out, the “wb” was great for me, and I feel like there’s nothing I can do to fix it. Any advice?

So there’s this guy (30sM) I (28F) met on an app a while ago - we chatted for a bit & followed each other on insta but never ended up meeting up. At some point he stopped replying to me - first in the middle of a convo, then didn’t respond to a follow-up a week later, so I stopped messaging him too.

It’s a been a few months and I kind of want to message him again, just send out a feeler to see if he’s interested in chatting again and go from there. If he’s not, I’d give it up. I want to make it clear that I haven’t been pining over this guy for months lol - I’ve been chatting with & going on dates with other guys but haven’t found anything that’s worked out. I just see this guy on my insta feed every now and then and it reminds me of him, makes me curious.

Guys - how would you feel about this? How desperate does this make me look? Should I or shouldn’t I message him? I don’t feel desperate but my sister said it would look very desperate to message a guy who “ghosted” me. (Though I have trouble seeing it as ghosting because we never actually met up & weren’t talking long-term). I don’t personally see the harm in giving it one more go but I’m an overthinker and would like some outside perspective/opinions.

So basically, we talked in the summer for a few weeks. We never met up and then he randomly ghosted me as we were planning our first date and then he messaged me two weeks later with an explanation of why he ghosted me and i said its too late for an explanation as i was so thrown off guard of being removed on everything.

Months later we started dating we hung out all the time we rekindled and went on dates everything was going so good. He told me the months we weren’t talking he was thinking of me and he felt so grateful we rekindled, after that initially the relationship was great. He was very passionate and I’ve already done so much for him I got him a very thoughtful birthday gift,also a thoughtful letter when he was feeling down.

Soon enough stuff started happening in his life, I could tell there was a decline in his mood he then told me he is not ready and that he’s just super overwhelmed and he can’t continue this relationship and I told him it was okay. I knew It was coming so i accepted it. That’s why I wasn’t as hurt as I expected, but it’s hard to move on cause he keeps messaging me whether its a casual conversation or to tell me something about his day.

A few times he has said that he wished things worked out and he misses me and he wants to be with me, but he cant because where he is in life. I don’t know what to do because he wants to go for dinner in a few days but at the same time I’m also thinking why am I giving him so much of myself when he told me he doesn’t wanna be with me twice in the span of five months sometimes I feel like he thinks it’s easy with me because he still can text me and talk to me without being in a relationship with me and still have all my attributes without committing to me and I feel so stupid about that. I never message him first he always messages me first and I always respond.

All my friends are telling me to cut him off but in my head mental health was the initial cause I can’t be mad, but I also don’t want to waste my time on someone that’s left me twice in the span of five months when I also have stuff going on in my personal life and he’s never been there as I’ve been going up and beyond for him. I don’t know what to do, is this worth pursuing because we have a date coming up to catch up or am I just getting played even harder?

(the first time we stopped talking was because his long-term ex found out we were talking and went to his house and caused a scene)

There is a girl at uni that I have only spoken to a few times but we are in mutual chats, she heard that I am going through a struggle with family at the moment.

Since this time she regularly messages me asking how I am and if she can do anything to help. It seems genuine and it is nice to know someone cares, but is it more than friendly? And if so how do I escalate? Advices appreciated

Hey all, was trying to take help from someone who eventually ended up telling me that although I look good, women at an equal level of attractiveness won't consider me a good option because they have much more attention from men, and because they are better at dating because they are women and they have always been chased.

Why is it so that women want equal treatment from men but see men as interiors? And men, can we just keep quiet in this war and continue being treated poorly?

So I met a girl on a DA and we we're doing so well for 2-3 weeks, both of us were initiating texts, calls, facetiming every other day. Went on 2 dates, one went well, the other was kinda meh, not good or bad. (Our original plan fell through since she overslept.)

I really thought I had this in the bag, like nothing could convince me she wasnt into it. She finished nursing school, taking her NCLEX (nursing licensing exam), and she was kinda stressing out. I left her alone a few days for her to focus on studying since she'd failed it once prior. She would text me occasionally during her studying and we'd talk briefly before I encouraged her to go back to studying. After I knew shed taken the exam, I text her one day about a song she sent me, and she never responded, I didnt think anything of it. I waited a day and called her to see if she was ok (maybe this was a mistake idk) and we had a ~5-10min phone call where she expressed she has bipolar disorder and she was experiencing "one of her lows". I asked her if theres any way I can help out, if she wanted to talk about it I'd be available, and she reassured me she just needed to get back on her medication which she'd just got back. She said she felt very good about the exam, and was rambling about 2-3 of the questions she wasnt sure about. I left the phone call with a positive feeling, and that we would resume. I then wake up next day to a text saying "Hey I don't think this is going to work out." Idk why but this text stung the fk out of me when I read it. To this day my stomach churns reading the last few messages we left off on. Idk if I got too attached too quickly or what but it really made me sad. I was hesitant to ask her why because I didnt want her to feel like she had to explain herself but I casually asked if it was something I said or did and she said no she wasnt where she wanted to be mentally and doesnt feel like going forward with anyone. She unmatched me soon after, which confused me a little.... Don't want to feel entitled but If you weren't planning on moving forward with anyone why unmatch me? (You can tell if someone deleted the app/closed their account or just unmatched you, deleted would say User Deleted). I accepted it and told her if she every needed someone to talk to she can feel free to reach out since I had experience with a friend with depression, she declined and said shes ok. I chalked it up and left it alone.

At the time I felt like it was her cutting me off because she just wasn't interested anymore, or found somebody better, or a few other reasons ( I live with my parents still.. / We'd gone 2 dates without a kiss which I didnt think was a big deal, Didnt want to force anything. I felt I was doing everything I could to make it work) but now I'm not so sure. I was racking my brain trying to figure out what I did wrong because I kinda didnt fully believe the reason she gave me, but it may have been true. I also considered that maybe she passed the exam and didn't think she wanted to continue with someone still living with their parents (Which might be me over-thinking. I've been thinking about her for the past 3-4 months, like I get random thoughts to text her but don't want to look desperate so I never do. I really like her and wanted to see if I can extend an invite to go eat some time next week. Is this a dumb idea? does anyone have any experience with dating a bipolar person? Am I shooting myself in the foot?

Hope this doesnt come off as stalker-ish or desperate, just not sure what to do or if its possible to hail mary this

I've retyped this about 3-4 times, so hopefully it makes sense. trying to condense weeks worth of experience in 2 paragraphs is tough.

So I’ve (33f) been out of a relationship for a little over 5 months. But it honestly feels longer to me not sure because I had a feeling we were heading that way or I checked out before breaking it off. Anyways my ex was great in many ways and taught me a lot about relationships in general. He was my first serious relationship and meant a lot to me. We did go no contact and didn’t end on a good note, breakups never do. Since then I did go back on the dating apps and I don’t know if I have unrealistic expectations or what but would love your thoughts.

Not to compare - but I keep going back to when I first started talking to my ex on the app. He was kind, funny, little flirty without being creepy and we hit it off so well I couldn’t wait to meet him in person. I used to have the rule that when I first match with someone we have some conversation and based on it I wait about 7-10 days before committing to meeting up. Nowadays without a conversation I get the cheesy oh you are pretty let’s exchange numbers and go on a date…. Like excuse me is romance and dating that dead that there is no interest at all. I am a grown ass woman with a fulfilling life, I’d like a man to take that into consideration that someone I have barely talk to for 30 mins is going to be someone I drop my plans and commitments for to go on a date. I don’t expect them to drop everything and go out when I say so either… I find so many men holding on to this idea of spontaneity, which is great but I find it a little disrespectful to expect me to go on a date the day of rather than picking a date an time that works for both of us.

Not sure if it’s an age thing - but I enjoy a flirty message or innuendo as much as the next person but getting so personal so soon is not sitting right with me. What ever happened being just a little friendly and seeing if we have things in common. Ask questions, take some time to see if you want to even tolerate me for a couple of hours and don’t be creepy.

I understand we are all going through stuff and are imperfect…. I just feel like I am starting to value myself and my time more to not just become a serial dater. I want to meet someone to share my life and time with without any rules and regulations. But am I wrong to not want to go out right away with someone? I do try my best to be honest when they do ask and hope to not come off as uptight egotistic person, but again how would a stranger know that…. Looking for any suggestions and tips on how to date these days? Yes I want to go out and date so I can meet people because I do believe in the face to face meeting.

Forget the ideal situation or person… but my general rule for dating is: 1. Get the small talk out of the way… ask some basic questions about work, life, family, PETS (Gosh just ask me about my pets since they are in my profile) 2. Consistent conversation for 7-10 days… or less depending on how and what we are talking about…. I don’t need a pen pal but if there is some interest or connection I don’t think this will be a problem 3. Don’t ask to move off the app until we are closer to actually meeting in person… using I don’t get notifications here is a terrible excuse…. Manage them somehow or I can happily wait till you respond. I don’t need a reply right away 4. Talking over the phone before we meet would be nice… Not to be critical but the way their voice sounds can either make it or break it for me. 5. Make a plan for a date… Let’s set a date date and check in to make sure we are still on for it at least a day before 6. Don’t try to sexualize me or talk dirty atleast unless we have met in person. After a day or so I get the ick and it is so not a turn on

TLDR: need general dating advice for someone who has a fulfilling life but wants to share it with someone. Dating in the 30s is tricky enough how can I level set expectations without offending or coming off strong. Are my rules are regulations wrong for online dating. What are somethings that worked for you?

So this guy, that I’ve been talking to for a while, has just landed in my country (he lives in the U.S. and I live in Europe) today in the afternoon. The main reason for his visit is meeting up with his college friends but also meeting me. He landed pretty late and he went out for dinner with his friends and now he is asking me to go for a drink with him because he cannot wait to meet me. I personally think 10:30pm is a bit late, but given the circumstances I kind of understand. Should I meet up with him or should we just move the “first date” until tomorrow?

My bf pointed out that he’s the one who is always FaceTiming me first, he is not wrong but I don’t ft him bc he is usually busy and I don’t want to disturb him. He says if I call and he doesn’t answer then he’s busy, valid point. There were times where I knew he was busy and wanted to ft him so bad but since I knew he was occupied I’d send videos talking about what I wanted to show him/talk about and then when he has time he could look at it. How important do you think it is to be the one who initiates ft first?

I'm writing this post for my best friend. She doesn't know. She is a 39f living in Las Vegas. She's a single mom. She has 1 son who is 10 years old. She has felt so overwhelmed these past few years raising her son that she hasn't had any time to put into her dating life. But I know she wants to find her person. When you are nearing 40, dating can be so scary. She is the best mother, friend, and daughter. She is so deserving to be in love. I just want her to be happy. If there any available suitors out there please respond to this post. Serious inquires ONLY. She doesn't need her heart broken.

I met my boyfriend here on reddit. We met twice, been in a relationship for almost 8 months, got engaged and broke it off. He was my very first relationship and I admit I've been horrible to him because I have an avoidant attachment personality. I came from a broken family and maybe because of it, I don't seem to know how to properly show my love. I tend to run away instead of resolving our conflicts. In fact, I brought the idea of break up several times even when I don't even want to break up. I keep hurting him in the process. Despite all of that, I could say I have been a wonderful girlfriend/fiancee to him. When he finally broke it off, I initially agreed. After an agonizing day and realizing I really love him with all my heart, I poured my heart to him, saying I realized my mistakes. I will treat him better and that I want to get back with him. But he says he did love me but he still can't get over his ex of 6 months from 3 years ago and was trying to get back to her without hearing anything from her for years now. He says she made him feel so seen. In his own way, I knew he loved me but I feel like he jumped into this relationship even when he's not totally free of her. So I encouraged him to send that text he badly wants to send so either he can see if he still has a chance or he can have his closure. I told him I'll wait for him and accept whatever news he has for me. He wished me a merry christmas and told me his ex did not respond at all and he will try therapy. I want to wait for him until next month which would be my birthday. For now, I am left with a broken heart and full of regrets. I should have treated him better when he was mine. I don't know how to cope because I never had to go through this pain. Is one month enough? Should I wait more or should I have not been waiting at all? Any advice for me?

P.S His wonderful parents are still reaching out to me giving me strength but at the same time not giving me false hopes at all.

If i hanged out with a guy 2 times already with 2 weeks between the dates and during this time we barely talked(once every 2 days) but when we saw each other we had a good time, this is what “go slow” means??

It’s becoming harder for me to take the phrase “modern dating” seriously because it’s often overused and poorly contextualized. For instance, when someone in their early 20s asks if dating has become harder or if "modern dating" is bad, it’s frustrating because they typically lack the age or life experience to genuinely compare different dating periods.

There are so many repetitive posts asking the same questions: “Why don’t I have a relationship when I have [insert list of personal attributes]?” Rarely do these posts mention having a social life or putting effort into building social connections. The common pattern seems to be: “I do solo activities, then go home.” Of course, it’s going to be difficult to meet people without putting yourself in social spaces.

If someone lists their education, looks, job, car, pet, or living situation and then wonders why they’re still single, it’s worth asking: What about social skills? Do you have friends, social hobbies, or opportunities to meet new people?

It feels like we’re sometimes overlooking this vital piece of the puzzle—whether out of frustration, a desire for an easy solution, or simply not realizing its importance. Building relationships takes effort, and a key part of that effort involves putting yourself in environments where connections can actually happen.

Touching grass is more than a meme. It also wont solve you're problems overnight.

My ex once told me socializing is a muscle, its gonna take more than one session to strengthen it.

If you fail or feel like a fool try to change perspective and look at what you did that made you feel that way and work on it.

When you fell off your bike while learning, you didn't just go, that's it! Never doing that again!

A new study recently published indicates that 4 out of 10 young men (18-30 years old) in Sweden don't dare to flirt with women.

The study is in Swedish and behind a pay-wall, but I link it anyway: https://amelia.expressen.se/premium/svart-att-ragga-sa-blir-det-lattare/

Me myself, 24M from Sweden, have never flirted or kissed a girl, mostly because fear of being perceived as weird or creepy. I am also a shy guy, which I guess isn't helpful in these circumstances.

But I want to know how it is where you live!

Is it the same over there or do you have other experiences?

35F.

I don’t know what it is, but when I come around men I find attractive, I tense up. I’m convinced that I might have high functioning autism because I can’t even make eye contact when meeting a guy. I literally have no idea how to act. I am so I my head that I just come off as weird. I find myself to be more relaxed when I’m around women or in work settings. (The funny thing is that I’m the only woman in my department at work.)

I don’t remember the last time I even been on a date. I’ve had one boyfriend lasted six months and that was 15 years ago. I wanna find someone but I literally have no idea how to start or where to start.

Also, what’s a non-weird way to tell someone my ideal date is sitting in silence? (I know it’s not practical lol) I’m 100% willing to compromise and do an activity like mini golf or bowling, but I’m not trying to have dinner or go to the bar or watch a movie. I just wanna feel comfortable and not be so in my head overthinking things.

Hi guys so I early 30s female, I need advice, I’m trying to get back into the dating scene. 2020 COVID killed it for me and then afterwards from 2022 to 2024. It’s just been me myself and I, for the New Year want to make good changes myself and try dating again. But I don’t know how or where to start. I tried one dating app Facebook date app. It didn’t work out!! So I was hoping this community could give me advice on dos and fonts, as well as some good places to start. I would appreciate it, Thanks guys

I’m planning on creating the classic big cardboard sign with her name on it

She’s visiting me for 3 weeks and I was wondering what else I should bring?

(Sorry if this is the wrong Subreddit for this and for my not so perfect english i just feel lost rn)

I struggle a lot with self-hate and depression, causing me to go on rants about life and myself and all the things i did and do wrong.

Me and my LDR GF (we live in different continent) also have been at some Relationship troubles (due to tending to her mother for a year and her mom being a total slave driver) for a while and recently she told me that "She thinks she can't love me because i don't love myself." which worries me more and puts me under a lot of pressure.

I really want to better myself, i am already trying to be the best bf in existance by at least giving her the love i can't give to myself... yet I'm scared that if this continue, I'll lose her because I'm unable to fix my life and myself due to being unable to jump over the hurdles life throws at me. (Heh there i go again)

Thanks to everyone giving me some if your time and some open ears.

Hi all. I need help and advice to see if I’m being neurotic or not.

I (22F) have been dating a guy (27M) for about 2 months. We actually met a long time ago organically and went on a few dates, but I was going through some personal self growth things at the time so I ended it. I ended a weird situationship about two months ago because I’m looking for a long term/monogamous and committed relationship and it wasn’t working. I got back on tinder, and ended up reconnecting with the guy I met a long time ago and we started dating. His tinder bio said he was looking for a long term relationship at the time. It has been going well, and we’ve decided to be exclusive and are calling eachother boyfriend/girlfriend. He regularly talks about wanting a long term relationship, marriage, kids, etc.

He has been away visiting family very far away for Christmas and we haven’t talked much this week which is fine. However, I am a bit anxiously attached, so I was missing him and feeling anxious that he was sleeping with other people. So I redownloaded tinder to look at his profile and saw he’d changed his bio to looking for “short term fun”. I am not sure what to think as I’m not sure when he changed that or if his profile has been active since we decided to become exclusive. Is this a red flag? I know I’m being sus and a bit anxious by even checking, which I know is a problem. But I just needed some insight.

I (30F) was doing some casual swiping on an app a little bit over a month ago and accidentally met a fantastic guy (33M). We hit it off and have been dating since (now exclusively). We seem very well matched in every way, a fact we've both been repeatedly acknowledging. We really like each other.

Thing is I'm moving 6 hours away for work in 5 months. He has known this from the first date.

Neither of us do casual. Both of us are looking for something long term. Things have already started feeling pretty relationship-y (we're waiting until after holiday travels to discuss labels), but since it's so new we haven't really talked about our specific situation.

I'm feeling stumped. At first, I thought it could just be a nice 5 month relationship, but now I hate thinking about us having a cut off date in the future. I've been warming up to the idea of possibly being long distance if we're still together by the summer. Is it too soon to bring this up to him? I'm a little worried it will break the spell and we'd have to break up immediately and I could lose the chance to enjoy this time with him. But on the other hand, why set myself up for heartbreak if he's not open to an LDR?

Any thoughts or similar experiences would be appreciated.

So I texted my crush and we both have a family contact ,so I texted her from a fake account proposed to her, we had good chat but I only told her my last name as I was anxious in revealing myself cause we had family contact etc but she ended up rejecting me so I thought maybe I didn’t tell her my identity and etc so I sent her a follow request from my main account and she blocked me now what, what’s the worst that can happen. I stopped contact with her.

I (44m) was in a relationship with someone for 5 years (46f). During that time she owned a small dog, which passed away of old age a few months into our relationship. We moved in together after 2 years of dating and during that time she adopted her best friends bull dog. The dog was sweet however very needy and, also had some minor health issues that typically come with the breed. Neither of us have lived with anyone before and now we have a dog added to the equation. We had quite the domesticated life during our first year living together however, the relationship started to struggle within those 3 years of living together.

I get every relationship has it's struggles, ours was the amount of affection or intimacy I put into it. I worked at it to the best of my abilities, holding hands, more kissing, more hugs, cuddling in bed. I admit to being somewhat reserved or uptight when it came to affectionate behaviors. I loved her and wanted to make her happy, so I stepped it up a few notches. In doing so I found myself wanting the reciprocation from her in return. However, now I found myself competing with the Dog for her affections.

As I mentioned before, the Dog was very needy which meant the dog was with us all the time. My GF would never want to leave him alone for very long, and if we were out longer than usual he would need a sitter or we would just get home as quickly as possible. He sat between us in almost every activity, watching a movie, eating dinner, taking a walk, or in the car. Although the dog slept in our bedroom, the one thing I did not allow was for him to be up on our bed. On top of this, if you all don't know - Bull dogs are very gassy and snore just as loud as any person would. Its hard to be romantic when you're under a constant cloud of fart.

Things took its toll on the 5th and final year of our relationship, our sex life and all around intimacy took a huge hit. I voiced my frustrations often as did she, I stated to her many times that she is more affectionate with the dog than she is with me. Her reply was always that I am being ridiculous and that I am making excuses. I felt defeated.....by a dog. The weekend getaways I would setup to re-spark our relationship, the vacations I would take with her just to get separation from the dog were band-aides. I imagined what couples that raise actual human beings go through. Is it true that people forget how to date when caring for another life form? The relationship ended and I quietly moved out, she obviously stayed with the dog.

I am now back on the dating scene after 2 years however I am concerned about going through the same experience again. I'm not a needy person but don't want to be left on the sideline to get blamed over whatever the relationship may be lacking. If i do, what is the best course of action to take in a situation like this? Is there something I should ask or say? Has anyone experienced similar situations? If yes, how did you get past it?

I’m 32M (gay) tomorrow. And will be looking to date in the new year.

To reduce costs while I get my business running I’ve moved into a house share.

Would it bother you to date someone at 32 living in a house share?

This girl today send me a selfie in like under wear but idk how to repond any tips

A girl and I have been hanging out for 3-4 months and things came on very strong. A little background: we used to be friends in high school where we would frequently hook up but things ended before university and she was pretty sad it never amounted to anything. For the past 3 years we haven’t seen much of each other and she got in a relationship that lasted over 2 years. In late September we reunited at a mutual freinds party and pretty much hit it off where we left off. It’s important to add that at that point she just got out of her relationship. She hit me up the day after the party and we went on a couple of casual dates thereafter. After 2 months of hanging out I asked her if what she was feeling and she told me she really likes me but isn’t ready for a relationship since it has only been a couple months since her break up. I stayed hanging out with her and things heated up where I would be spending a couple nights at hers and we would talk every night on FaceTime and text through the day. I really like her and I know she likes me but she still claims that she still isn’t ready to fully commit to a relationship. We talked it over and she is worried taht she is leading me on. I really don’t want to end things because of something like that. We really enjoy each others company and I know she feels the same. Currently she wants to take a little space because she feels bad for me and doesn’t want to keep “hurting me” even though I have reassured her I am willing to wait.

Any advice would be great. How can I make her commit?