i feel like i'm expected to respond enthusiastically? (and "kept talking about" is strange because I mentioned it once 🥴)

that’s it. i’m a braid warrior and i’ve been one for like 15 years and was a relaxer soldier until like 6 years ago when i was so sick of the chemicals and shedding. after going natural i thought it would be a journey to self love but i just started putting my hair in braids with like 1-2 days with my natural hair out and started getting more and more ashamed of the hair that grows out of my damn scalp.

when people started making posts about how 4c hair is not THAT hard to maintain and putting it in braids 24/8 was not protective i was so defensive until i started deeping it… they’re right. especially in 2024 where we have 10x more inclusive and convenient products at target and walmart i really don’t have an excuses anymore. i think the self hate really started rearing its head during college when i could not for the life of me have anyone see me with my actual hair out cause i felt that i looked ugly asf but this month i was sick and tired of being sick and tired. realized i’ve been paying a total of 400 dollars like every 2 months to get my hair braided and started panicking on what i was going to do for christmas and winter break because my braids were getting old. started scrambling looking for something like micro links tape ins texturizer hell even locs because i wouldn’t have to “deal “ with my actual hair till i stopped and started thinking to myself… my hair is not hard to maintain i just hate the way it looks. after realizing this i feel free and this is the longest time this year i’ve went without braids or a silk press and it’s SO much more rewarding .

*If there’s any mistakes I’m so sorry It’s because I’m still laughing about the whole situation”

My ex who is white (from North Carolina) just texted a week before Christmas I didn’t even know he had my number still since we broke up in December 2019. I was a little annoyed when he texted me because I thought he disappeared from my life for good. One morning on Thursday, the first text he sent me wasn’t a “good morning” but a freaking “Grand Rising” 😮. I was so annoyed and told him “Good morning is just fine!” And then he went to say “Good morning my brown skin Nubian Queen” like eww. I just stopped writing him at this point but I almost threw up in my mouth.

Hello! Ladies, we all should be trying to invest something in this coming year! It doesn't take much and there are ways you can find which stocks to invest in to help yourself out. That man is to take office on the 20th and he is already talking about the many ways to fucc shit up lol and I want to get rich off of it! So, do any of you invest? I mainly deal with options trading and SPY and QQQ are my bread and butter. Looking at getting into META, NVDA, and getting some shares MBLY, NNE, and RVPH-NFA. Would love to talk to anyone who has good trading knowledge and also where they think the market is going. I had a rough end of 2023 and moved in the beginning of 2024, but really want to capitalize on this year. It's gonna be rough in my honest opinion but still think there is a lot of money to be made if I play my cards right. Anyone else thinking like this and is kind of excited?

I finished this yesterday with the severe help of my therapist pushing me. It’s a studio ghibli style art of a Honda driving in the desert for my upcoming comic

3 years strong. this is my first boyfriend and I’m his first girlfriend. I’m literally the happiest I’ve ever been, his mom is my best friend, plus our moms and grandmas literally have the same name!??😭 he doesn’t have social media by choice, he loves surfing, stocks, nature, & helping me pay off my debt. We both work from home so we get to see each other every day all day.

idk I’m just happy. So happy. just with life in general, not just from a man. but i’m at peace lol

I’m Beyhive so I’m biased😂 But I always love hearing the opinions of others about her music and performances, especially Black women

I started to talk to this guy I met via Hinge (which I really am tired of) and I feel like I might’ve been bamboozled a little. In his Hinge pics he was a bit more of an athletic build but now he’s like thinner which I don’t hate but it just doesn’t suit his face. Then his teeth were yellow… Like really yellow. And he’s always talking about how fine HE is. I just want to know how I should leave this situation? I hate ghosting but I’ll do it. Just seems really mean. But I haven’t answered since yesterday. 🥴

i didn’t know what flair to add because i’m excited about both but this was my first time ever trying this style and it took me 2 days to do😭

I might get downvoted for this but km getting real tired of the, “I’m too educated/articulate/cultured/rich/soft/whatever positive attribute that black women stereotypically aren’t viewed to posses for Black people, whatever should I do post 🥺.” It’s degrading to black people, helps to fuel these stereotypes and just lazy thinking.

And I say this as a Black woman who works in a predominately white field and who grew up as the token in a white suburb. I can kinda maybe excuse this thinking when youre young and have a limited ability to meet other like minded black folks but if you are an adult who still thinks like this it’s because on some level imo you like being viewed as the token and separating from the rest of Black folk. It’s like they want to hold onto that one time they got called an Oreo in high school to validate their belief that there is something not Black about not being a stereotype. It’s also amusing to me that they will hold onto the anti Black comments made a few of the black people that they have interacted with but will draw an entire blank for all the times they were othered while trying to fit in with non Black people. Soon enough though they will learn that it’s all good being the token until you get spent 🤷🏾‍♀️

7 years together 26F 25M living together for 4 years.

I am ready to end my relationship. We’ve been together too long to not be married. We started dating young so I gave grace but now I don’t see it happening. He says it’s cause he can’t afford a wedding or to be married rn. Understandable but I am ready.

I am thriving in my career and hoping to go back to school next fall to complete my masters. He hasn’t not worked in years but have side hustles that help pay the bills (key word “help”, not “covers all of his half of the bills”). He’s struggled and I gave grace bc when we first moved in together his side hustles were making good money. Every month he says he will do better the next month but never does. He gave me $50 on rent last month but it was a hard month bc he wrecked my car while doordashing. He’s gotten it repaired but the cost was a financial burden on him. Also he has a super expensive car note so I try to be lenient.

Also if we break up he has no place to go. We both moved here together from our hometown. He has no income to get his own place. His mom is moving here very soon- like next week so by then he will have a place to stay. Lately he’s been so kind, loving, and affectionate. This is because I caught him with a couple condoms hidden in his car. I ended things but fell for his words and we got back together but during the break up time I met someone else and was caught texting them. Nothing horrible, just friendly words and flirts. Ever since he caught me texting the other guy he’s been very loving and trying to make me as happy as possible. Cleaning, cooking, going out for cheap fun. All the things I love. But I feel it’s too late. After all this time together I feel trauma bonded to him and would like to see what else is out there in the world for me but how do I break that to him when everything seems so perfect and he thinks he’s winning me back with the extra loving lately.

Please no hate. I know what needs to be done I just need some kind and encouraging words to have this shed conversation with him and some entail on what the days after will be like. Maybe even some success stories of your ex moving out without income and their things in order. He is on the lease and can’t be kicked out.

Also if anyone cares I’m a sag and he’s a Capricorn.

This movie is so beautifully written, I almost started crying just from the beginning alone with Lena's story (she also has such a princess voice and look). I really loved the acting and the camera work. If we can get more movies like this out of Tyler Perry I'd be so happy if he does more historical films about stories like this that have been overlooked!

Things haven’t been going very well for me this year. I’ve reached my breaking point. Just pray for me please.

Edit: Thank you for all your prayers, I really appreciate it 💞💓

From 2016 to 2020, this girl was EVERYWHERE. There were conspiracy theories about her being a white woman in blackface, weird lore saying she had “natural white hair” from people who had never seen a wig before, and lots of fake bios claiming she was from all these different countries. She only clarified she was Fulani, and even though she did eventually work with a couple brands on instagram, I never saw her actually modeling (and everyone claimed she was a model).

She has been out of social media for 4 years now and I keep wondering what happened. Every now and then new people discover her and say she’s AI, but we know she was real. Maybe wearing contacts and a wig, and maybe some photoshop, but real.

Was she really a model or was it an internet persona? Where did she come from? Where did she go? Do you guys know anything? I am genuinely so curious.

I know I’m not the only one who get told this but I mainly get this from either black or Hispanic women. I get told oh you sound or act white or I bet you only date white men. I am only romantically attracted to men of my own race since I have men in my family who uplift black women in my family. I never had a black boyfriend which sucks cause I’m almost in my 30s. I almost thought I was going to have a black boyfriend a few months ago but we didn’t click I guess because of our communication styles. He literally said I need ‘BET’ during mid conversation. I’m guessing I wasn’t black enough for him but I realized he wasn’t worth my time when he said that. I’m not going to change how I talk, act, or dress just to attract black men. I guess my dilemma is where do I find black men that won’t be bothered by my aesthetic which is feminine and soft spoken?

Edit: I live in a low income area and mostly talk to men in my area

Okay so this is my skin with no filter. No product. It’s dull and not giving what it’s supposed to give. What do I need to add or use for the glossy effect everyone seems to have. Currently I only use Kojic soap and Nivea moisturizer. Kindly recommend the products or whatever needs to be done. Thanks ladies✨

I’ve been living with my current roommate for 3 years now and with our lease ending soon I honestly want to move out. For context, we were random roommates at first but became really good friends over time. Shes honestly really nice and overall great person and I’ve really liked living with her. Some things have just built up overtime and because i hate conflict/confrontation, i let most of it go. A part of that is also because I’ve seen how defensive and reactive she can get when a problem comes up and I don’t do well really strong reactions like that (cause my anxiety to skyrocket). Also when i have tried to have convos with her about an issue i had with her, idk i felt like i was going in circles and since then ive just left most things go for the sake of the household.

I do think she’s still an amazing friend and that’s one of the main reasons why I don’t want to renew. I don’t want to build up a resentment to the point where I hate her or something. I already pulled back from our friendship a bit last couple months and some space for me would be good. I know what I have to do and have a convo with her soon, I just have a feel like she’ll take it to heart and try to blame outside factors for me wanting to move. We’re both adults tho, her being older than me, so ig I can’t control how she reacts but I already feel guilty and stressed about it all.

My word why is a adulting so difficult

It’s disheartening to know that I go to the gym 4-5 times a week, follow a pretty restrictive diet, and still feel like men look at me as if I don’t take care of myself. For context, I’m 5’2” and chubby, with most of my weight concentrated in my midsection and breasts (I also have PCOS). I don’t have prominent hips, thighs, or a bum—very much an apple shape. While I think I’m cute and dress to flatter my body, I avoid fitted clothing because I don’t feel confident in it.

My biggest struggle is comparing my body shape to other women. Recently, I attended a friend’s party where several women were absolutely stunning—serving both face and body. I couldn’t help but notice how the attractive guys gravitated toward them, going out of their way to strike up conversations or stealing glances. It left me feeling invisible and unattractive.

Sometimes, especially around certain people, I can’t shake the feeling of being undesirable. These feelings are amplified by the fact that I’ve never been in a relationship or even been on a date. And it’s not like I have a big, bright personality or extraordinary intelligence to make up for lacking certain looks and appeal.

On top of it all, I’m on my period right now, and it’s making me feel even worse—tired, bloated, and far from pretty.

EDIT: I also want to acknowledge that women in curvier bodies have their own struggles, particularly with being sexualized and objectified. I understand how difficult it must be to feel like you’re only seen for your body and not as a whole person. If I came off as insensitive, that was not my intention, and I sincerely apologize. I know the grass isn’t greener on the other side, and every body type comes with its own set of challenges. I just wanted to share my struggles and thoughts.

I should also mention that I got rid of my social media(IG, Facebook) a few months back to get the ball rolling. And I created a new YouTube account to just follow most educational content and hobby related content.

I just heard of this blowdryer due to someone posting that they got it for Christmas. It looks AMAZING. The price tag is expensive but worth it if it does a good job.

Anyone ever tried it? What are your thoughts? I'm thinking of buying one but would like to hear people's experiences.

Please put hair texture in your reply. I'm mainly looking for 4b/c hair but any reply would help!

Hey yall! I just took a job in Ketchikan, Alaska. I’m coming in from out of state and will be moving there in a few months. I’ve been watching video after video, looking up post after post, but it doesn’t seem like there’s a lot of us out there which can be extremely daunting! Is there anything I need to know before I move out there? Any tips? TIA!

The negative responses I’ve seen to this movie from people, much like the pot-bellied bald man in the film, is a bit triggering. Smh. While not a Tyler Perry fan, I thought this movie was pretty well done and thoroughly enjoyed it as both a black woman and a veteran who went to AIT at Fort Lee, now known as Fort Gregg-Adams (I was unaware of this name change and it made me so proud!)

Warning: This is pretty long. This has been ticking me off for a while and I just needed to vent.

This happened back in October, but ever since that day, I have come to fully resent this woman for her sheer audacity and that invasion of boundaries. On top of that I still have to see her on Saturday afternoons to start my afternoon shift at the local art museum, and nowadays I try to be civil but give myself space away from her to prevent another surprise incident. But, to give you more context, let me tell you what happened. I was coming in one Saturday afternoon to start work and take over as gift shop associate while my co-worker, a then 69 year old white woman, briefs me on any events happening that day and getting ready to leave since she only works the morning shift. We were chatting about how our week went, a question I asked her out of genuine interest.

After she was done telling me how her week went, I started telling mine and mention the slight tress of working at my 9 to 5 job for most of the week in addition to this part-time job. I was punching in for work while talking then briefly turned away from her gaze, my head was a bit lowered while I was looking at the cleaning supplies on the shelf. All of a sudden this lady randomly grabbed my neck from behind, with her thumb and index finger slightly pressing the sides of my neck and she started slightly shaking my neck for a good 30 seconds.

I turned my head to look at her while she was doing it and was honestly shocked in confused. Then she took her hand away and had the nerve to sheepishly claim with a smile "I used to be a masseuse. I didn't mean to alarm you." I smelled a load of bullshit from that comment alone, and it bugged me because I couldn't tell if she was trying to "playful" (or whatever playful means to this old weirdo) or if she was listening to her intrusive thoughts. I tried to compose myself and remain civil instead of lashing out at her despite wanting to honestly do so. Then I asked her if there were any events going on at the museum today and she mentioned there was only an art class downstairs, but once she got around the counter, I decided to kind of address her behavior without snapping at her by mentioning how I massage my mom whenever she's in pain, too (thing is I wasn't in pain and she had NO BUSINESS touching me at all), but then when she went around the counter as she was about to leave, she made another bullshit claim that she "used to be a massage therapist".

I looked her dead in the eye and blurted out with a slightly nervous chuckle "I thought you were trying to strangle me for a second" and she was like "Oh no. I would never do that." We said our goodbyes and she finally left after that but I was left really uncomfortable and felt like a major boundary was violated. I was also angry at the fact that she had the nerve to randomly do that to me and didn't really apologize. She only said that she "didn't mean to alarm" me, but she randomly put her hand around my neck and shook it and the neck is a sensitive part of the body. Even if she was intending something positive in her eyes or trying to be playful, I DON'T know her that well. We've worked for a year as co-workers but we are still not that close. So, it annoys me and bothers me that she even did that.

I could even still feel some slight neck pain from where she pressed her finger against the side of my neck. I called my mom to talk to her about it when nobody was in the room and she said that since I didn't address it to her at the moment, I shouldn't address unless she brought it up or tried to do it again, but that just didn't sit right with me. I was still in a state of shock but really wanted to confront her about it afterwards. When I told my aunt about what happened and how I wanted to text her about it, my aunt advised not to since I didn't say much of anything before and told me that I "should be careful when trying to confront white women because they could be dangerous" and that nonsense probably because she felt that the lady could spin this to make it look like she's the victim.

The following Saturday, I was wearing one of my favorite earrings and she said she liked it but then tried to reach out to touch it. This time I was prepared and moved my head away before she could touch my earring. She stated that I'm "just like another co-worker" of ours because he doesn't like being touched either. Then she was like "I tend to be a little touchy" I then explained to her that I don't like these extreme forms of touch since I have had bad experiences with people invading my personal space in the past at other workplaces prior to this one, which was true. Her yes widened like she had see a ghost and I thought at that moment she realized her mistake from the previous weekend because she looked a little nervous after that, especially when my shift officially started and she came back to the museum to pick up something that she forgot. The next Wednesday, however, when we were at a restaurant celebrating my former supervisor who was leaving that month, this lady left her seat to came around to my side of the long table where I was sitting with other co-workers I was chatting to and sat next to the empty seat next to me, and while she she started talking to them, she randomly put her hand on my right shoulder and rubbed her middle index finger while doing it.

Then she rested her hand on the top of my chair behind my back while she was talking to the other ladies. I, again, tried to compose myself and remain civil, but I swear I wanted to slap her stupid hand away. When I briefly explained my past experiences about invasion of space at other workplaces and she gave that deer in the headlights look, I was expecting her to get it and never touch me without permission like that again. But it seems like she either didn't get it, forgot (Although, I know she's not senile, or that forgetful. She's pretty spry for her age), or didn't care that Wednesday. It is a good thing I made a point to write down the date, time, and report of the incident the day she did grab my neck just so I can report her to HR asap if she does it again, but I am tempted to send it without having to wait for another incident because I've been feeling like it's long overdue and I should have gotten someone to give her the boot for even touching me like that.

It's just not something you do to a co-worker, especially one you don't know that well. I also am concerned she was comfortable randomly doing that to a black woman such as myself. I honestly have starting secretly resenting her ever since those two incidents and can't stand seeing her at my part-time job on Saturdays. I wasn't really that fond of her before, either but often tried to be nice and respectful to her and get to know her a bit. She was snarky at first when I shared my interests initially but seemed to have mellowed out. Lately, ever since that day, I've felt like I've needed to keep an eye on her just in case she tries to be touchy like that again and making sure she's never too close to me. I just don't feel that comfortable being around her anymore. You know what I mean? Anyone ever have similar experiences with certain white co-workers?

Today I randomly on YouTube ran into the whole Now that's tv and Zeus baddies west type of feed. I was very disturbed by what I saw and I was like whoa!!!! These women were so bad that today I'm like oh no let me go put on my dress and makeup and heels because these women were hurling the N word at each other, buffing up their chests like men and everything. I'm like omg wtf is going on here??? How is this even legal to allow being shown on tv or YouTube ? One girl yelled "F your baby to another girl" same girl kicked another girl square in her jaw and stomped someone's head into a bathtub, wig capped were shown still attached to heads and eyelashes missing. Like damn.. smh