r/BoomersBeingFools • u/ShawnandDaonteRSimps • 1d ago
“You’re talking about having a baby….”
My FIL is a “good boomer” most of the time. He’s rational. Understands SOME boundaries. Married one of my favorite people (also a boomer) after he and my MIL got divorced 10 years ago. So all this to say, I WAS SHOCKED TONIGHT when he went full Boomer on me.
I’m 36F who has been married to his son, my high school sweetheart, for 12 years. We have struggled with fertility. Tried foster to adopt. Broke my heart and me for a couple years when it didn’t work out.
We want to be parents. We are doing the fertility stuff now. I’m open about it. I gave everyone the warning that I’m on big hormones this Christmas, so if I’m more cunty than usual, tell me to chill or just sit me in a corner. Either will be fine.
I foster animals for our local shelter and have a special needs kitten who idk if he will go to the shelter for adoption or stay with me until I find him the right home personally. He might stay with me forever. That’s ok. I love him and my gut says he isn’t right and we just haven’t figured it out yet. Worried he has FIP (IYKYK).
I mention this at dinner and FIL says YOURE TALKING ABOUT HAVING A BABY!! THATS LIKE 20 KITTENS!!!! YOU CANT TAKE ANYMORE ANIMALS!!!!
I sharply respond that I’ve had a child before. I’ve loved her and would kill to have her back. And he doesn’t live in my house so he can shut the fuck up.
Instead of apologizing to me, he just says “this conversation is over” and walks away. End of the night. We left. Ugh.
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u/Economy-Diver-5089 1d ago
What a weird thing to say. A baby is an animal to him?
Clearly you have a huge heart and really care for those kittens, showing you’d be a great parent too. I hope the IVF goes safe and smoothly for you and you have the family you want!
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u/ShawnandDaonteRSimps 1d ago
I think he was trying to express concern about how we will have too much on our plate when we have a baby in the house. But god damn it. He went FULLY BOOM BOOM BOOMER in how he told me how to live my life, and wouldn’t apologize when I clearly told him to back off. hE wIlL DiE oN tHiS HiLl!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, the “you’re talking about having a baby”… mother fucker I will birth one whole human child if it’s the last thing I do and I swear to whoever if you disrespect me while I’m on these hormones again you will know about the problems we have.
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u/Economy-Diver-5089 1d ago
Boomers gonna boom 🤷🏻♀️ either way, not his life! It’s your house and life, you do what you want! You know what you’re able to handle and are responsible enough to ask for help with the fosters if needed. Sometimes older people just cannot understand a way of life that they wouldn’t choose for themselves and it’s really annoying. My grandma is like this, always has to give her opinion even when it was never asked, or we tell her we don’t care to know what she thinks.
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u/GM_Nate 1d ago
agreed that a baby is at least 20 kittens of work
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u/ShawnandDaonteRSimps 1d ago
Well yeah, his content wasn’t necessarily wrong. Just like, not today Boomer.
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u/Davism62 21h ago
I’m not seeing the terrible in what he said. He knows you’re trying to get pregnant and you mentioned adding another stressor to your life, care of a sick animal. I mean yeah he can’t tell you what choices to make but i feel like this was a big overreaction on your part.
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u/ShawnandDaonteRSimps 14h ago edited 14h ago
GUYS! We found the boomer in the chat!!!!
So glad you were there and heard the tone and attitude with which he told me what I can and can’t do in my home.
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u/Davism62 14h ago
Not a boomer, not even 40 actually. Just saying it sounds like you have deeper issues with this person and you’re digging to find something to be upset about. Sure his opinion wasn’t asked for and you are entitled not to like it but you do sound rather c u next Tuesday-ish as you said you might in your post. Guess you don’t really want to be told when you’re acting that way like you said. My bad.
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u/1Pip1Der Gen X 12h ago
Meh... Boomer mentality, shifting to "I'm sorry you feel that way because you're wrong" and "you're a c-word."
You might be younger than me, but, buddy, yer a full-blown Boomer.
Shame on you.
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u/Davism62 11h ago
She’s the one who used the c word to describe her behavior and requested people let her know when she’s acting that way. I didn’t know having a difference of opinion made me a future boomer but okay. Lol hope your day gets better ✌🏻
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u/skulltrain 11h ago edited 10h ago
Hmm your post history is public. Ever get your kid to stop shitting themselves?
Edit:Yay got another one to delete their account that makes 4 or 5 now lol
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u/NEPA_Exposure1984 23h ago
They’re such babies. They put the BABY in boomer. I bet he’s jealous of the attention you give to animals and the prospect of your attention going to an actual baby, since stupid old men know they don’t matter and nobody wants to be around them. Make sure to Watch him closely and keep your guard up. These whiny OLD baby Boomermen are a BIG problem since the outcome of the US election. We all have to Keep them in check. Together. Collectively.
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u/Fabulous-Routine2087 1d ago
Sending all the fertility vibes your way. When you get pregnant, may I suggest your animals be heavily featured in the announcement. 😈
Hoping your FIL’s marvelous sounding wife gave him an earful on when to stfu.
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u/ShawnandDaonteRSimps 1d ago
Oh I like that. Lil Hermie kitten will have a “Big Brother” bib on. Yass.
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u/Active_Collar_8124 1d ago
We put a 'big brother' bandana on our dog to announce our pregnancy to my inlaws.
"You're getting another dog!?"
They knew we were trying. They knew we sought fertility treatment.
I love my inlaws. They're good, generous people with mild boomer tendencies. Sometimes, they just don't get it.
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u/No_Philosophy_6817 19h ago
I had a kitty named "Hermie"! (Sorry, don't know why that got me so excited...geesh, I need less coffee) He found us when we already had one cat. They both were orange and white so my lack of imagination in the moment caused me to call him "Hermano" and Hermie, for short. They never really did much brother/sister stuff, more like they just tolerated each other. But, she was a huge, long-haired princess and he was a scrappy, little bad ass so....
Sorry to ramble but your comment brought memories of my sweet kitties to mind and gave me my first smile of the day. Thanks!
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u/myleftone 21h ago
Foster to adopt is one of the scariest things a person can choose to do. I’m so sorry it didn’t work out. That’s about the highest level of heartbreak possible.
We went through the same issues with fertility. We knew the science, and we knew the unlikelihood. The closest my silent gen dad ever got to booming was expressing regret that he might never be a granddad.
I kinda get what FIL was saying. When our fortune changed, the gavel fell and we had one, then the god I don’t believe in waved a hand and there were two. We had a kitty back then and it was difficult to give him much attention. He was also ill, so eventually, well…
I think FIL is trying to be helpful. It just doesn’t work because these are emotions that you have learned to overcome with rock solid fortitude. Boomers haven’t, so when they express frustration, it becomes a tirade. I hope against hope you get what you want in all of this, including a supportive boomer.
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u/Grift-Economy-713 19h ago
I swear boomers are like pull-string dolls. They repeat the same tired phrases and often debunked bullshit drivel over and over and over. Even when it doesn't in any way apply to the specific use case.
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u/wpkath 14h ago
Even if your kitten does have FIP it can be treated! I’ve successfully treated 2 FIP kittens and they are perfectly healthy now
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u/ShawnandDaonteRSimps 14h ago
I know, I’m so hopeful that it isn’t FIP, but if it is, I want to make sure he gets the treatment. I’m really good about letting my healthy fosters go, but with the sick ones, I just hold on a bit longer.
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u/struggle_bus_nation 18h ago
I am so sorry for this, OP.
I will never understand why Boomers can’t just apologize. They will “explain” their behavior, yet never just apologize or admit they did anything wrong.
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u/splinterwolf54 1d ago
Have u looked into acupuncture to help with fertility? I’ve been researching acupuncture for something else and have come across how a lot of acupuncturist focus on woman’s fertility and health. Just some food for thought if it’s something u wish to look into. Good luck to you and your husband!
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u/ShawnandDaonteRSimps 1d ago
I understood your intent. And I’m open to alternative medicine. So, thank you.
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u/molluscstar 22h ago
The NHS (UK) prescribes acupuncture alongside IVF treatment so I assume there’s some evidence that it’s beneficial. Two of my friends are certain it helped them conceive during their fertility treatments.
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u/CrabbieHippie 1d ago
I know people are downvoting you but I just wanted to validate your comment. Both my kids were conceived via IVF and with my second child it was taking more attempts. My fertility clinic referred me to an acupuncturist, I went and after I did I finally had a successful transfer that become my son. I can’t prove it helped but nobody can prove it didn’t.
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u/Smart-Stupid666 1d ago
Lol probably the attention that helps them relax and be less anxious. The plural of acupuncturist is acupuncturists. Acupuncture is bullshit.
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u/splinterwolf54 1d ago
Prob doesn’t work for everyone but personally it’s been very beneficial for me and my healing journey so I personally love acupuncture. Not sure how beneficial it is for woman and fertility specifically as I’ve never done the research but just thought I’d let OP know that it’s an option for them to look into if they wish.
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