SIL is the worst …

[u/angrycurd]

Anyone else have a SIL who is friends with BM and her flying monkey spy? But also just generally awful?

Just spent 4 days watching her kid while she and BIL stayed at a hotel (coming to our house for food but otherwise treating DH and I like babysitters). Was late xmas am (so kids had to wait for presents), ate breakfast, then left to take a 3-hour nap, didn’t meaningfully help with meals or cleanup, then didn’t show up until afternoon the next day (no warning) bc (I strongly suspect) she was having breakfast with BM and reporting everything we did/said/etc. Cause she claims to have a “responsibility” to BM. (She literally said that when we called her out on the spying.)

She spent 3 hours playing Switch w the kids after dinner in order to avoid helping with dishes, which meant the kids did not help. Didn’t even clear her own plate. She then marched in the kitchen asking to help, knowing I had finished already.

I would very much like to ban her from my house … she’s a terrible person and teaches the kids terrible behavior (like skip out on cleanup by playing Mario Kart) … but that would cause issues for my husband bc he loves his brother (her husband).

[u/AutoModerator]

Welcome to r/stepparents! Please note we are a support sub for stepparents' issues. Our number one rule is Kindness Matters. Short version, don't be an asshole. Remember that OP is a human being and their needs are first and foremost on this sub.

We rely on the community to alert us to comments and posts not made in good faith. Please use the report button to ensure we see it. We have encountered a ridiculous amount of comments that don't follow the rules and are downright nasty. We need you to help us with these comments by reporting them when you see them. We also have a lot of downvoting on the sub, with every post and every comment receiving at least one downvote almost immediately due to the anti-stepparent lurkers. Don't let it bother you, it happens to every single stepparent here.

If you have questions about the community, or concerns about posters, please reach out to the mod team.

Review the wiki links below for the rules, FAQ and announcements before posting or commenting.

About | Acronyms | Announcements | Documentation | FAQ | Resources | Rules | Saferbot - Autoban Information

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Cheap_Salt7354]

Also - she has a responsibility to BM? LET BM WATCH HER KIDS. The gall. I swear.

[u/Mrwaspers007]

Going forward your husband can go visit his brother at his house. You shouldn’t be expected to put up with her in your own home if you don’t want to. I know I would never prepare a meal for her or watch her kid ever again!

[u/Cheap_Salt7354]

Jesus. It’s times like these I’m so grateful my SIL is an angel while also having the blessing of DHs entire family despising BM. It makes life easier and I honestly don’t know how DH and I would do it if we weren’t all a United front.

That being said - your husband absolutely MUST talk to his brother and then both of you should talk to both of them. Especially if you want to continue getting together with events. Have the difficult conversations now and if it’s still creating havoc and lack of peace in your home then ban them.

[u/angrycurd → u/Cheap_Salt7354]

The talks have been attempting … SIL has always been awful to DH too.

I have been encouraging him to see his brother w/o his wife and kid and insist they host xmas next year. I will stay at a hotel, leave for naps, not help, leave my dirty dishes everywhere …

[u/angrycurd → u/Cheap_Salt7354]

This is how bad she is: when DH and BM married, she opened their wedding gifts and used them while they were on honeymoon and didn’t get why this was not okay … BM HATED her until the divorce …

[u/Sillypotatoes3]

Mine isn’t quite this bad but I’m positive she’s her spy. Always asking questions. Yuck. How could you do that to your family member. Disrespectful. Sorry you’re going through this.