r/stepparents • u/bookyface That bitch who is at fault for it all • 1d ago
Vent I’m still angry
Posted here a couple of days ago about how DH invited SD and SS over to our house (separately, because these kids hate each other other) for half of my break from work without asking me and deleted it, because I thought I should just get over it. SD is leaving the house today to go back to her Mom’s, and I figured SS was supposed to come over this evening/tomorrow. Come to find out that SS is due to come over tomorrow and the day after, leaving me three whole days of no kids. On a 12 day break from work.
DH seems to think that everything is fine, I’ve been playing well with SD and I told him that he’s welcome to bring SS as he’s already invited him (and just ignored me) so it would be rude to SS to take that back.
I’m a door mat. Spent this whole time with SD cleaning up after them both and fuck me, I guess I should have said no to SS but then I’m the bad guy. Again.
John and Julie Gottman talk about resentment being one of the four horsemen heralding divorce. Wonder how many years I’ll be putting up with DH just making plans with his bratty kids before it gets too much.
12
u/Key_Charity9484 1d ago
It sounds like it’s already too much. There’s no incentive for him to change if you are always going to be his safety net. Stop being that, but tell him first so that he UNDERSTANDS what you are doing and why! If you just stop and the kids “suffer “ in some way, you could guilt yourself backwards! If he knows then the responsibility is on him and you don’t have to feel guilt, only pity for a man that can’t take care of his own kids.