r/stepparents • u/DallasLace • 1d ago

Advice Right to be annoyed?

Fed up that every holiday season the parenting arrangements go out the window. BM decided that SD (young teen) can do what she wants over Xmas and NY after spending Xmas eve and Xmas day with her. This nicely coincides with my annual leave. We usually have weekends free and SD mon-thurs. OH has decided to take it upon himself to decide SD will now stay with us from yesterday to NYE. He didn’t even bother to ask me or tell me. I found out by asking. I hate the way he makes this decisions without consulting me. I also own this house, it’s my home. My holidays. It disgusts me the way he just does this and expects me not to feel upset. He hasn’t bothered to ask what my plans are, what I would like to do. It’s always about him and his daughter and what HE wants to do. I didn’t sleep, lay awake in flight or fight. I told him I was annoyed yesterday and he ignored me. Brushed it all under the carpet. I need to get out, but feel too much of an emotional wreck.

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u/Charlottej1289 1d ago

My husband had just done this. Added 3 more days to his weekend and tried to gaslight me by telling me that he’d told me already. I don’t need to be told, I need to be asked.

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u/mathlady2023 1d ago

That’s when you book a weekend getaway and let him do all his child care. Do not tell him just go. If he asks, why you didn’t tell him, gaslight him and tell him you told him already.