r/stepparents • u/DallasLace • 1d ago
Advice Right to be annoyed?
Fed up that every holiday season the parenting arrangements go out the window. BM decided that SD (young teen) can do what she wants over Xmas and NY after spending Xmas eve and Xmas day with her. This nicely coincides with my annual leave. We usually have weekends free and SD mon-thurs. OH has decided to take it upon himself to decide SD will now stay with us from yesterday to NYE. He didn’t even bother to ask me or tell me. I found out by asking. I hate the way he makes this decisions without consulting me. I also own this house, it’s my home. My holidays. It disgusts me the way he just does this and expects me not to feel upset. He hasn’t bothered to ask what my plans are, what I would like to do. It’s always about him and his daughter and what HE wants to do. I didn’t sleep, lay awake in flight or fight. I told him I was annoyed yesterday and he ignored me. Brushed it all under the carpet. I need to get out, but feel too much of an emotional wreck.
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u/AdForsaken2949 1d ago
That’s not only annoying but straight up disrespectful of your time. I would plan a few fun things you can do alone between now and NY (go to a spa, museum, day trip, take yourself on a date to a fancy restaurant) and in the meantime rethink the whole situation. What are you getting out of this? Is it worth it? Are you being used? Once you answer these questions you’ll know what to do. Sometimes being alone is the best option, maybe you will miss the occasional companionship but at least you will eliminate a huge source of stress and disappointment. Stop living someone else’s life!