My pick: TENET

In the style of Lester Bangs.

Cool beans, Mister Eggers, your budgets are getting bigger. Definitely remake a classic and shoot your wad at the clouds in the CGI. I mean, really rad rat filled, plague ship rockin’ heavy on those black sea waves with those arkestral strings cueing me to marvel at your technological talent.

Nope, never thought once about how Herzog woulda built a boat and put it on the real deal ocean and kept rollin’ even if the entire crew got actual rabies, nope. Not once.

TBF, you chose to stick to your one dimensional color palette and season the proceedings with a pastiche of your bitchin’ Wiki-like knowledge of all things horrorshowsmanship.

“Now don’t bum, my dude. ‘Tis not that I, your target lover of celluloid, was not drawn nigh to your abundant skill sets on a grey Xmas day in a crowded regal theatre brimming with a palpable bloodlust thirst to be entertained.”

But now that you’ve proven yourself a masterful student of archaic dialects, start workin’ again on nailin’ dialogue. The outrageous, quotable highs of your Lighthouse were nary to be found.

Sad fact, I thought more than once of James Cameron and his tendency to stuff his actor’s mouths with unintentionally cringe patter in sacrifice to the tableau on the screen. Jack! Rose! Much? Yikes.

To the spirited and engaged cast,

Hoult, if you are not one day rebooted as 007, it’d be a shame.

Lily Depp you are Gen-Z’s Winona. A stellar performance. You did Adjani-fanboys like myself proud.

Skarsgard, sweet Orlock cock but let’s not get carried away on the infotainment TV interview circuit talkin’ bout how you prepared to play the Count. To my eyes, a green screen carried you. Your character choices were… not for me.

Dafoe, man, I named one of my children after you. And you brought the shit! But again, apologies in advance that you had to recite some of those lines with a straight face.

Tip of the hat to the rest of the cast even if nothing about their characters or performances will specifically have me returning to this film any time soon.

Like The Northman, this movie was largely imperfect.

But I’m not an average filmgoer. And that’s who Eggers chose to entertain this time around. Them and, clearly, himself.

2.5/5

After the Justin Baldoni/Blake Lively thing, I think I totally understand why some people do not consider actors to be respectable. I don't either. Let them scratch each others' eyes out and move on.

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I find Bill Murray to to be insufferable and unfunny. He was okay in Caddyshack. That’s it. He’s the go-to comedian for equally “smarter and better than thou” hipsters whose opinions are… predictable at best. For these reasons, Bill Murray will always suck.

Who’s overrated in your opinion?

Having read both the original Bram stoker Dracula and the J.D. Barker versions, I truly hate how distracting the weird sexual content and necrophilic nature overshadows and contradicts the character motivations throughout the film, and many of those scenes were overdramatic or completely unnecessary.

As a story about the "fight against the ultimate evil" (paraphrasing here, but in the conventional means nosferatu/dracula is the embodiment of evil), the main afflicted character does little to make me empathize with her cause because she either does very little to truly fight the evil, or completely spites or shows a lack of empathy towards those whose lives she’s ACTIVELY putting in danger and concealing the truth about what’s actually happening from them.

The cherry on top for me is the ending, which is still heavily bogged down by the sexual content. In the end, plain and simple, evil, and I mean the true incarnation of evil… wins, and in a truly unsatisfactory and unappealing way. It’s not one of those "the good guys won at a heavy cost and nosferatu is still out there," or "we destroyed the idea of evil and saved the girl but at a heavy cost" the personification of evil literally gets what it wanted and it didn’t look like the girl disliked this turn of events imo or truly fought against this fate that the ending gave her, or even be at the greatest cost to nosferatu if he were to win in the end- just seemed like even the movie wanted the Nosferatu win after violating the men and women throughout the film. For evil to win so easily and there be no true sense of struggle or humanity out of the human characters truly missed the mark for me in a story trope about imo "a human struggle against unjust gods and a force of evil incarnate." The struggle against impossible odds is my draw and the characters we care about should win by indomitable human resolve or rage tragically against their fate in a story such as this. And watching it unfold the way it does is truly the worst case the movie could have went with for an ending.

saw nosferatu tonight and i'm not even close to a regular movie critic, but i don't know if i've ever seen a worse movie. i walked out of the theater with my mind absolutely blown, (and possibly destroyed). how did this even make it to theaters, and even more importantly, how does this movie have 87% on rotten tomatoes?? it was disgusting to say the least. wish i could bleach my eyes and my brain.

No doubt these movies will get watched again over the festive period by many. The battles always seemed a bit naff/ poorly thought out & underwhelming leading to quite an anticlimax theatrically. I’ve seen some wonderfully terrifying baddies & fight scenes in fantasy movies but didn’t get that feeling with much of the film series despite the plots plodding along quite nicely. I don’t get why the films aren’t slated for more for this?

I'd go with Ed Wood. Overtly optimistic and a man who would do anything to achieve his dream.

Subtly parodied very well by Steve Martin in Bowfinger.

I found this picture in a bin of photographs at an antique store. The image peaked my interest so i purchased it. I later found out it's from the movie He knows your alone from 1980. Is it worth a watch?

An alien child is evacuated from his dying world and sent to Earth to live among humans. His peace is threatened when other survivors of his home planet invade Earth.

So I got to choose a movie to watch with the kids (9, 13 and 15) and decided to show them a childhood classic. Mrs. Doubtfire.

That movie was a hell of a lot weirder then I remember.

I remember Pierce Brosnan being the bad guy but honestly the guy didn’t do anything wrong and is mostly the victim of Robin Williams.

And the part in the restaurant with Robin Williams telling him he has to compete with a vibrator which pounds like a jackhammer. WHAT KIND OF KIDS MOVIE IS THIS!? 😂

I mean the kids liked the movie so mission accomplished but damn the 90’s were something else.

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Watched Red One on Xmas Eve day. I know Reddit has a strong dislike for The Rock, but we totally enjoyed the movie. It’s a unique take on the Santa story, Dwayne Johnson stays in his lane, and who doesn’t love JK Simmons as a buff, gruff Santa? Not an Oscar contender but a great, entertaining movie.