r/howtonotgiveafuck 2d ago

Can stress build discipline ?

I just hate the fact I’m sitting all day doing nothing but mentally feeling trapped. Seems like the mind is winning always. Deep down I guess all I wanna do is take actions and change my life. I wanna go college. Talk to people and make friends even work on my fears because it will make me grow and take me to next level but here I am doing nothing because the mind wants to make me feel trapped in fear, shame and anxiety. And I’m starting to believe as if something is wrong with me. I hate this victimization mindset. I’ve lost so much of my life living this way. I’m freaking 27 now but internally still feel like I’m 22 just finished school. I’m not growing at all. Feels like I’m still stuck in 2016 despite it’s been 8 years now.

My mom said you need to take stress in order to grow. If you continue living in comfort zone slowly you will become rotten from inside. Even little willpower will demolish and urge to change will also go away. You seriously need to take actions which is stress but it’s good stress in a way..i seriously want to change my life for the better. I want 2025 a year for self improvement not repetition of last 8 yrs

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u/EpicGiraffe417 1d ago

The zone of optimal development is one foot in chaos, that with which you are unfamiliar, and one in order, what you already know. Don’t think of it as stress although growth will induce it. You can develop and grow rotten from the inside. The antidote to bitterness and resentment is humility and gratitude. In the knights of the round table each knight goes into the forest at the point which looks darkest to them. You know where you ought to go, now do the things that will help you get there.

Whether we like it or not, we’re all in on this thing called life and no one gets out alive. It is yours to make and be held accountable for in the end.

As far as school goes, I did an online program with SNHU and just graduated and got a job rather quickly that I actually enjoy. It is there for you. Knock and the door will be opened. I feel like 2025 will be the beginning of the journey for you. It may not go as planned, as every adventure winds up dealing with some detour whether it’s the trolls in the hobbit or the famine and tyranny of Abraham’s story. This is where your character is shown. You must develop your capacity for choosing well to make it through these times. This is forged through a personal alignment with the truth. The deeper relationship you have with truth, the greatest trust you can put in your internal compass and intuition.

You can do this, you can make your life. “A stoic is someone who transforms fear into prudence, pain into transformation, mistakes into initiation, and desire into undertaking” -Taleb Nassim Nicholas