Just have to have no fucks in the world we live in! You will be much happier!

I started here three months ago. I’m a fairly outgoing person who is eager to interact and likes to make small talk. My patients love me, and I’m often described by others as bubbly, but a few of my other coworkers give me the cold shoulder.

I don’t know why. I do favors for them, ask them about their day, bring in food, do my job well, etc. But while they are interested in everyone else they act offended when I talk to them. They will engage with other people and try to befriend them. But they will ignore my existence unless I talk to them. Idk what I did or how I am coming across since they can’t tell me what their issue is. I’ve asked them before and they said nothing. But whenever I speak to them, even about work things, they act like I just spat on them. If I knew what I did wrong I’d apologize and try to work it out.

I have many ride or die friends, a loving five year relationship, and a large amazing family. All of them say I’m great so idk what I’m doing so wrong. I’ve never treated someone like this in my life so I just don’t understand.

Posting this to understand better that if people have had connections over sometime, maybe they thought they were their friends, but continued to talk and you thought they are your friends and you shared everything with them. It’s been 5-6 years we met, but the other person you realise someday that was always in competition with you and you always fell drained or negative after talking, but it never come to terms until recently. I’m just trying to create some distance, but that person like the friend who I thought is is a senior VP and he was my friend in college, and somehow I feel guilty of like being distant with him because thinking that you know it’s a small world and he might badmouth me, but he was always there just for a night. He always thought less of me and was just there to know what’s going on in my life. Am I doing better or something like that? Only just you know to get the gossip or something, but now I’ve realise that he was really never my friend, so have you had any such relationships where you were in a turmoil whether to end it or how to gracefully continue it or to keep a distant and still have no badmouthing, or any repercussions, looking for any suggestions to navigate such dilemmas

https://www.naturalawakenings.com/2021/8/31/365689/martha-beck-on-living-with-integrity

I just hate the fact I’m sitting all day doing nothing but mentally feeling trapped. Seems like the mind is winning always. Deep down I guess all I wanna do is take actions and change my life. I wanna go college. Talk to people and make friends even work on my fears because it will make me grow and take me to next level but here I am doing nothing because the mind wants to make me feel trapped in fear, shame and anxiety. And I’m starting to believe as if something is wrong with me. I hate this victimization mindset. I’ve lost so much of my life living this way. I’m freaking 27 now but internally still feel like I’m 22 just finished school. I’m not growing at all. Feels like I’m still stuck in 2016 despite it’s been 8 years now.

My mom said you need to take stress in order to grow. If you continue living in comfort zone slowly you will become rotten from inside. Even little willpower will demolish and urge to change will also go away. You seriously need to take actions which is stress but it’s good stress in a way..i seriously want to change my life for the better. I want 2025 a year for self improvement not repetition of last 8 yrs

A strong person is not afraid of showing weakness.

If a strong person lets weak men tell him something is wrong with showing weakness.

He becomes weak because of people who showed weakness and were shot down themselves.

Stop this cycle at you. Show weakness but when you are shot down dont feel sad for yourself when you should weep for those who shot you down. You dont want to know the demons you showing weakness woke up in them.

If a man cant show weakness he cant show love. A mans love saves lives. And a man who is afraid to show his love destroys lives.

Those who depend on you need you strong.

Every man is strong. Most of us hide our strenght because we are told our strenght is weakness and we believe them.

Example on what im talking about.

If you are afraid of being seen as weak you instigate a fight with a stranger and put your wife in danger rather than take the namecalling and move on. Which takes more strenght? Even if you win that fight your wife wont feel safe because you put her in danger. What if you lost? "Ok he is going to fight like that, hes going to lose one day, am i next?". She isnt riddled with your insecurities. She sees the reality. You win only in your delusions.

Learn how to use a sword but pray everynight you wont have to use it.

Especially young men these days need to understand this. Too many influencers and "male role models" promote to be openly insecure and its twisted.

Be careful of the content you consume these days. They can easily destroy your life.

Sorry, I have posted something similar before. No, I don't live with him. I live on my own , 6 hours away.

I often don't want to tell him something that will upset him because I don't want him to be mad at me. Sometimes I have trouble making certain life decisions because I don't want him to get mad or think what I am doing is stupid.

I often get so much anxiety when it is time to call my dad (He usually asks me to call him every 2 days , but 95 percent of the time we have nothing to talk about ) , like I literally get jitters. He never calls me first and sometimes when I call and he misses it, he doesn't return my calls. He was an ok father to me. I never felt supported by him growing up and even as an adult. I rarely enjoy talking to him, tbh.

I still have some bitterness towards him because he always got mad at me , growing up, because I hung out with "too many" white kids (we are black, the neighborhood I was raised in is like 95 percent white), but that's just who I felt comfortable with.

Every few months he will ask when am I coming down to see him, and I usually say "in a couple of weeks" and then go down there but I get anxiety whenever it is time for me to make that drive. After my first day down there, we run out of stuff to talk about. As I mentioned in a previous thread, I don't really appreciate his sarcasm and jokes about my weight but I let it slide because I just take it that he doesn't know how to get to me in an effective manner. It makes me so mad internally that I fantasize about hurting him (I have mentioned it to my therapist).

Also, my nephew lives with him and my mom. My nephew is a total asshole and we always argue whenever I am down there because he will be rude to my dad or he will be mean to me and I am sick of it. I WOULD BE HAPPY IF I NEVER WENT DOWN THERE AGAIN, but I guess you are obligated to visit family, right? ugh.

anyway, what are your thoughts?

if everything is caused by something then you have no free will so it's not your or anyone's fault ☺️

I definitely feel like I’m not the only person who feels stuck at age 27, anyone at any age feels stuck in rut but it’s those who take actions that are the real hero’s . My freaking mindset is so messed up that I feel like I’m caged in this trap of living always in shame, fear and anxiety. A new year is about to begin but I’m already feeling hopeless because I have not made a plan nor researched to find my way out of this rut. Like I notice my last 2 years of giving up on life felt like 6 years from now. I’m living in the past and can’t let go of my failures but every day I’m living in regret moment. I just want to let go of this past memories and give life a restart. I tell myself everyday I’m waking up blessed to see the sun, able to walk and have healthy body but why is that my mind and willpower is so weak.

Sighs, all I wanna do is go to college get a good degree. Work a job on the side and learn driving so I can be independent on my own. Being outside I guess will improve my social skills and build awareness or mental toughness that I seem to lack a lot. Feeling so stupid I can’t fight for myself like I have anxiety ordering food or communicating with someone because I feel like I have nothing to offer and talk about. I don’t have a job so what am I gonna talk about. I have no interest or passion so that’s there nothing to talk about. Literally feeling like a boring person and out of touch with reality. In the past I used to watch sports and listen music a lot and was into fashion, technology but everything went away with age. Now I’m worrying how do I sort my life out and how do I build finance wealth and stability. How do I communicate better so my life can improve. Fitness exercise

So socializing is a core function for us to remain healthy. However these days I see a lot of forced socializing. What this tends to do is destroy your own well being while searching for a better well being. Socializing is very important but socializing with wrong people will literally slowly kill you.

We as humans when we face trials in life we either face those fears and deal with them or we internalize these shortcomings into insecurities that we will carry on our surface. What we tend to do then is anyone we meet we start to project that failure on to them. This causes stress on the person we are interacting with. He/she may even start to internalize some of this insecurity on from the other person. This is unhealthy.

We all have had atleast one point in our lifes when we were at that place. When we couldnt face our insecurities and deal with them. Go back in your mind to that time and think because there was 100% atleast one person who saw you were hurting and didnt let you poject your hurt on to them. You became furious to that person most likely. You thought that they didnt take your hurt seriously or you thought they were acting better than you. I know because I did this alot in the past. With this knowledge we know that person knew you just were hurting and you tried to ease your pain by trying to make him/her carry your hurt for you and they knew it wouldnt be healthy for them. Also saying anything to you about your hurt would just hurt more. So they just keep their distance because they know the only one who can help yourself is you.

These people have gone through all the pain you are going through and know how it feels so they pity you. They also know you are unhealthy for them to keep around so they seek healthy people to socialize with.

Become this person. Being this person is the core of health and happiness. You wont be the greatest or strongest or wealthiest. But the funny part is you understand that why you wanted these things was because of your unresolved shortcomings has made you hate yourself and your selfimage so you tried to overcompensate with admiration from others. Because you couldnt love yourself you wanted to outsource it from others.

Here is the good news. It easy. All you need to do is to start to be honest with yourself. Time will do the rest.

my existence generally bothers me. elaboration, things such as talking to people, the way i have talked to people, the interactions i have with people i call friends. it all bothers me. i could be having the best time ever and the sudden realization that others can perceive me pulls me right out of it. the fact that i live in a house, brush my teeth, doing everyday things makes me feel embarrassed.

i get negative feelings thinking about family the most. just knowing that they’ve seen me grow up from a little kid makes me feel so icky and stupid.

i’m not sure if it stems from all the bad interactions i’ve had, like having a hard time understanding what people mean or say. i’ve learned over the years how people work and communicate and it’s helped me improve interactions. yet, i still have trouble dealing with the aftermath. did i say something stupid? did i sound extremely dumb to anyone? why am i here? did epstein kill himself? blah blah blah

all of this to ask, how do i cope with my existence? how do all of you not get embarrassed or overwhelmed by past experiences? how do you… not give a fuck?

I accepted a lower pay and a lower designation to put my foot in the door of a field they I've always wanted to learn despite me being a specialist in another.
If everything had gone according to plan I should have been in that field already and would be earning more than what I earn right now but things got in the way. Now someone is ready to give me the chance but with a lower pay and a lower designation because I lack direct experience in the field. People younger than me with more years of experience get better pay and are at a higher level in the hierarchy. I try to console myself by telling myself that I have a house (but I got that from my parents) and I am lucky to be able to make multiple career switches in the same life.

Idk but I still worry about what people think of me for being an old loser.