r/howtonotgiveafuck • u/Jpoolman25 • 1d ago
Can stress build discipline ?
I just hate the fact I’m sitting all day doing nothing but mentally feeling trapped. Seems like the mind is winning always. Deep down I guess all I wanna do is take actions and change my life. I wanna go college. Talk to people and make friends even work on my fears because it will make me grow and take me to next level but here I am doing nothing because the mind wants to make me feel trapped in fear, shame and anxiety. And I’m starting to believe as if something is wrong with me. I hate this victimization mindset. I’ve lost so much of my life living this way. I’m freaking 27 now but internally still feel like I’m 22 just finished school. I’m not growing at all. Feels like I’m still stuck in 2016 despite it’s been 8 years now.
My mom said you need to take stress in order to grow. If you continue living in comfort zone slowly you will become rotten from inside. Even little willpower will demolish and urge to change will also go away. You seriously need to take actions which is stress but it’s good stress in a way..i seriously want to change my life for the better. I want 2025 a year for self improvement not repetition of last 8 yrs
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u/Bananaboi681 1d ago
Im the same. I have been fucking up job interviews and in a job that has shit pay but not alot of stress. I barely speak to my customers and i do nothing but play games and watch netflix at home and im 26 but mentally 15
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u/Fit_Working3892 1d ago
I may be only 21 but what I can tell u is that sometimes you dig urself in a rut and u get comfortable being in there. Even tho it’s stressful, Espicially when overthinking and comparing yourself to others.
Just take that first step of just putting yourself in 4x4 and get moving. Workout, find a hobbie and then figure out what you want. You control what u think. You can control that conversation with yourself. You control your actions and emotions. Grab your life by the balls and say fuck it. Try new outfits, do side quests even if it’s trying a new restaurant/bar by yourself. Get off your ass. No one is gonna save you from feeling like that.
You are the only one that can ease your mind, you are the only one that can save yourself from destructive actions. You have to be good to yourself. And hold yourself accountable and take a look at yourself.
What ever you picture in the mirror will reflect back at you. You can change that image.
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u/shitzstupid 1d ago edited 1d ago
Get a picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger when he won mr Olympia and place it on your mirror. Look at it everyday and hit the gym. If you don’t know what to do with your life pursue fitness and trust me it’ll change everything about your life.
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u/bluffyouback 1d ago
Life events/stressors can motivate one to become proactive in disciplining themselves and maturing as a person but it’s often hand in hand with heartbreak, regrets or major loss. The level of stress is at “do-or-die”. If we can help it, we rather learn our lessons with less sadness. Some stress can also cause dejection and apathy and kill the motivation to change.
Discipline comes from our innate knowledge of the actual possible consequences if we do not, and also value ourselves, goals and our principles. I don't think stress alone can build discipline.
Becoming fully aware of the fact that time/people/health are not infinite and we have limited time with these can help to be proactive in making change. You have your mother now but she will not be around forever.
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u/Greedy-Advisor223 1d ago
Stress and negativity are always going to be a part of life. It’s the nature of our world. It’s unavoidable. And it shows itself in infinite ways. Whether you are completely alone in a desert or surrounded by the purest love in a city. You either let it eat you alive or you use it to your advantage.
There’s mainly two types of people in this world:
Losers take things that happen to them and that they feel inside suck and they wallow and they use for self or outward destruction.
Winners take whatever they feel inside that suck and transmute it into things that are good for themselves and the world.
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u/EpicGiraffe417 1d ago
The zone of optimal development is one foot in chaos, that with which you are unfamiliar, and one in order, what you already know. Don’t think of it as stress although growth will induce it. You can develop and grow rotten from the inside. The antidote to bitterness and resentment is humility and gratitude. In the knights of the round table each knight goes into the forest at the point which looks darkest to them. You know where you ought to go, now do the things that will help you get there.
Whether we like it or not, we’re all in on this thing called life and no one gets out alive. It is yours to make and be held accountable for in the end.
As far as school goes, I did an online program with SNHU and just graduated and got a job rather quickly that I actually enjoy. It is there for you. Knock and the door will be opened. I feel like 2025 will be the beginning of the journey for you. It may not go as planned, as every adventure winds up dealing with some detour whether it’s the trolls in the hobbit or the famine and tyranny of Abraham’s story. This is where your character is shown. You must develop your capacity for choosing well to make it through these times. This is forged through a personal alignment with the truth. The deeper relationship you have with truth, the greatest trust you can put in your internal compass and intuition.
You can do this, you can make your life. “A stoic is someone who transforms fear into prudence, pain into transformation, mistakes into initiation, and desire into undertaking” -Taleb Nassim Nicholas
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u/runningsoap 1d ago
For me it did the opposite. Long story short I got tired of being wrong no matter what I do and everything going to shit. So now I do whatever the flying fuck I want.
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