r/facepalm • u/ThatMysteriousUser • Aug 27 '24

🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​ Welp

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29.9k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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804

u/PrimaryCoolantShower Aug 27 '24

Babies for the Baby Oil.

438

u/firechaos70 Autistic vaccine enjoyer Aug 27 '24

"Hey, buddy, is this made of real or artificial babies?"

392

u/Bastardjuice Aug 27 '24

Cold-pressed, extra-virgin…

I’m sorry, I’ll see myself out.

265

u/MechanicalBengal Aug 27 '24

It’s a red state, so 50/50 on whether any given baby is a virgin

69

u/VibraniumRhino Aug 28 '24

LOL god damn. I miss awards.

14

u/PrinceoftheMad Aug 28 '24

I hate you… no… LOATHE you. Take my upvote you filthy cretin

5

u/Professional_Buy_615 Aug 28 '24

Sithrak would be pleased.

113

u/BKStephens Aug 27 '24

This better fucking be organic!

77

u/willclerkforfood Aug 27 '24

Don’t want some damn GMO babies in my baby oil

7

u/mptorian Aug 28 '24

This is all part of the Big baby industry plan to make baby oil unaffordable for all of us so we have to make and press our own babies. And if I have to press my own babies then what am I going to eat for dinner.

4

u/Dillo64 Aug 28 '24

Quit your belly-achin’ ya Big Baby!

…. no, seriously, I mean that. Big Baby needs to make better product, their cheap knock off crap is causing me severe gastro-intestinal distress!

7

u/TangoRomeoKilo Aug 28 '24

I'm pro GMO I'll take those babies baby

3

u/dorksided787 Aug 28 '24

GMO or not, you just have to be ok with microplastics in your baby

2

u/Bluetower85 Aug 28 '24

Excuse me, is this baby oil gluten-free?

10

u/zmbjebus Aug 28 '24

With all the medicine they get at birth I doubt any baby would qualify as 100% USDA or OMRI organic

4

u/sometacosfordinner Aug 28 '24

And gluten free I'm not celiac just an asshole

9

u/AbominableSnowPickle Aug 28 '24

Small batch, locally sourced babies, no less!

47

u/kleighk Aug 27 '24

This reminded me of a horrible, yet somehow hilarious, thing my college roommate used to say: “That sounds about as fun as a blender full of babies.” I can’t explain it.

6

u/Nihilistic_Navigator Aug 28 '24

wish dead baby jokes were still a thing.

whats worse than a dead baby in a trash can?

a dead baby in 2 trash cans.

2

u/kleighk Aug 28 '24

😂That’s me 20 years ago in response.

😫(me now) Yeah, I guess it’s in REALLLY bad taste these days.

2

u/Nihilistic_Navigator Aug 28 '24

Idk maybe we can harness that power for good? Suggestion:

Whats worse than a dead baby? ..... project 2025

2

u/kleighk Aug 28 '24

I like your positive spin!

6

u/KiwiObserver Aug 28 '24

Is synthetic baby oil made from real babies?

6

u/PokeRay68 Aug 28 '24

Can't be, can it?

5

u/PokeRay68 Aug 28 '24

"We use only the finest organic babies here, sir."

4

u/GIOverdrive Aug 28 '24

microplastics in babies so uhh......yes

84

u/Mord4k Aug 27 '24

Slanesh is suddenly very curious where this is going

6

u/buttered_scone Aug 28 '24

Dicks for the dick god?

53

u/Comfortable_Swim_380 Aug 27 '24

Shit this thread just got hella dark all of a sudden. And that's impressive given the topic was abandoning babies.

9

u/Caine_sin Aug 28 '24

You haven't played warhammer have you...

8

u/No_Maybe_IDontKnow Aug 27 '24

This right here is the agenda.

3

u/BamaGiJoe13 Aug 28 '24

Nulin oil comes from babies ?!?!?

5

u/AerolothLorien666 Aug 27 '24

Abort the aborters!

1

u/TheFleshGordon Aug 28 '24

Do you use heirloom babies in your baby oil?

1

u/Phoenix-Quill Aug 28 '24

No wonder this is a trend in America!