r/facepalm Jul 11 '24

🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​ Mom needs to go back to school.

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u/Similar_Disaster7276 Jul 11 '24

Hence “The War of Northern Aggression”. They were being super aggressive about our practice of slavery. So mean!

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u/psgrue Jul 11 '24

I got the war of Northern Aggression excuse once. “The north unfairly attacked you?” Yup. “It wasn’t over slavery”. No. “So you were just about to give up all your slaves on your own and the north just attacked you anyway?” Well, no…

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u/wakatenai Jul 12 '24

and the confederate states attacked first anyways.

it wasn't just that the confederacy went "nuh uh", or that they declared war, or that they clearly states in their letters of secession why they were seceding.

they legit drew first blood when they attacked fort Sumter.

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u/Recent_Fisherman311 Jul 12 '24

A nice (racist) SC docent told me that the fort was in SC’s harbor, and the Feds started to reinforce it, which was the first “aggression” lol as in, “but they started it!!”

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u/[deleted] Jul 12 '24

[deleted]

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u/RoboDae Jul 12 '24

Russians did the same thing recently in Ukraine. Lined up massive amounts of troops and tanks on the border, then called it a training exercise and complained about Ukraine bringing in troops to attack

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u/Ok_Star_4136 Jul 12 '24

"That Ukrainian soldier looked at me funny! Clearly the only course of action is a one-week special operation.."

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u/Recent_Fisherman311 Jul 12 '24

That’s pretty much exactly what he said!!

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u/Ok-Worldliness2450 Jul 12 '24

“They’re coming right for us!!!”

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u/Notascot51 Jul 12 '24

Sound familiar, Vlad? NATO is encroaching our imaginary sphere of influence…so we attack.

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u/Ok_Star_4136 Jul 12 '24

Despite what they claim to the contrary, they attacked because they were losing their grip over Ukraine and had they joined NATO, they would have genuinely lost the territory of Ukraine forever. They genuinely think of Ukraine as an extension of Russia and not its own sovereign country.

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u/Notascot51 Jul 12 '24

So Vlad’s fantasy of a reconstructed Great Russia is worth the hundreds of thousands of lives this war has cost…he really believes himself to be a Tsar. May he soon share their fate!

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u/wakatenai Jul 12 '24

so a fort had soldiers in it you say? lol

how aggressive of them