Play Fighting or Actual Fighting?

[u/mmaimaimai]

Hello everyone, I got two kittens about a month apart from each other back in August/Sept. Unfortunately my first kitten was sicker than we anticipated (we originally thought she had a lingering URI, then we thought herpes- but after a PCR test and several different kinds of meds later, we found out it was something else that can be outright cured with a few rounds of antibiotics,) and we had to keep them separated up until now. My first girl, Nadja, was a singleton and got along right away with my dogs, but just upon setting eyes on her kitty sister, Mochi she would growl right away. Mochi on the other hand was very eager to meet Nadja as she came from a litter of kittens, but was scared of our dogs. In some time Mochi grew accustomed to the dogs, and both of them have taken quite a liking to attempting to play wrestle their bigger, fluffier dog siblings. The dogs are typically not phased by this, let them do as they please or run away.

Cue to now, I’ve been letting the girls meet everyday. (I currently have the cats separated from the rest of the household as we’re taking it slow, introducing the other two dogs to them at a speed I feel more comfortable with-) It was straight growling and hissing from Nadja at first even if Mochi wasn’t doing anything. They’ve become accustomed to each other and being in each other’s space now. I can get them to play with toys together no problem, and both of them love to wiggle their butts and chase each other mutually. But the one thing I’m not understanding is if their fighting is actual fighting or play fighting. Mochi LOVES to pounce on people, the dogs, anything really and loves to grab and play bite. She does not use claws for the most part and is actually quite gentle despite how crazy and excited she gets. She is constantly trying to wrestle and pounce on Nadja, and while Mochi is completely quiet while doing it, Nadja is hissing and growling like crazy. So I break it up because I don’t want Nadja to be uncomfortable, but then she goes right back and tries to hang out with Mochi. Nadja will also try to pounce on her in the same way, and even if she is the instigator will still growl and hiss and usually end up on her back all the same. I usually end up putting a divider between their rooms when I feel like they should have a break- Mochi has some swelling in her nose that causes some breathing issues, so I don’t like them playing too hard for too long of a time at once; but when I do, they sit by the fence and lay on the floor next to each other and cry for each other. They will play through the fence, even try to climb up the fence, but then I just get so confused with the whole wrestling thing. Are they really just playing and is Nadja just dramatic, bratty and vocal? I was thinking this might be the case since she’s so used to her dog siblings letting her have her way, but Mochi is a bit bigger than her and their wrestling matches almost always end up with Nadja on the bottom. Or is this actually fighting and do I need to continue intervening when things like this happen?

Sorry for the long post, I’m a pretty new cat parent. I’ve fostered previously but they were a trio of siblings who got along right away. I have a more extensive background with dogs so I’m at a bit of a loss here. Any help or advice would be appreciated!

(I’ve also been spraying feliway and I think it’s helped a bit, but I’m also super allergic to a lot of things and I think that it’s making my asthma worse so I’m pausing on it for now and I apologize if you hear me breathing- or struggling to breathe in the video lol.)

[u/Wide_Beautiful_5193]

Looks like some rough housing to me. I can see the lighter coloured cat wanting to play and does a nice little pouncing maneuver to her sibling, who responds by wresting black and then they go their own ways.

I have 2 cats and they sometimes fight, my cat Max (he’s 2) will bite his brother Tazzy ( he’s 3) who is older by 1 year. Max is learning to rough house and sometimes goes a little over the top. I know when they’re fighting because Taz will meow really loudly and it’s a meow that he’s hurting and that’s when I separate them. I play with Max to help him reduce his extra energy he has (I don’t ever encourage my cats to bite, I rescued Max from a shelter when he was 14 weeks old and his litter was abandoned by their mama) Tazzy will also make a yowling meow, almost like a scream, and that’s when I also know things have gotten out of hand. Since I’ve started doing that over the last year with Max, I’ve noticed an improvement and he’s learning — him and Taz are able to play and wrestle together without biting all the time and they now cuddle with each other which they didn’t do before. So they are growing closer together