Play Fighting or Actual Fighting?

[u/mmaimaimai]

Hello everyone, I got two kittens about a month apart from each other back in August/Sept. Unfortunately my first kitten was sicker than we anticipated (we originally thought she had a lingering URI, then we thought herpes- but after a PCR test and several different kinds of meds later, we found out it was something else that can be outright cured with a few rounds of antibiotics,) and we had to keep them separated up until now. My first girl, Nadja, was a singleton and got along right away with my dogs, but just upon setting eyes on her kitty sister, Mochi she would growl right away. Mochi on the other hand was very eager to meet Nadja as she came from a litter of kittens, but was scared of our dogs. In some time Mochi grew accustomed to the dogs, and both of them have taken quite a liking to attempting to play wrestle their bigger, fluffier dog siblings. The dogs are typically not phased by this, let them do as they please or run away.

Cue to now, I’ve been letting the girls meet everyday. (I currently have the cats separated from the rest of the household as we’re taking it slow, introducing the other two dogs to them at a speed I feel more comfortable with-) It was straight growling and hissing from Nadja at first even if Mochi wasn’t doing anything. They’ve become accustomed to each other and being in each other’s space now. I can get them to play with toys together no problem, and both of them love to wiggle their butts and chase each other mutually. But the one thing I’m not understanding is if their fighting is actual fighting or play fighting. Mochi LOVES to pounce on people, the dogs, anything really and loves to grab and play bite. She does not use claws for the most part and is actually quite gentle despite how crazy and excited she gets. She is constantly trying to wrestle and pounce on Nadja, and while Mochi is completely quiet while doing it, Nadja is hissing and growling like crazy. So I break it up because I don’t want Nadja to be uncomfortable, but then she goes right back and tries to hang out with Mochi. Nadja will also try to pounce on her in the same way, and even if she is the instigator will still growl and hiss and usually end up on her back all the same. I usually end up putting a divider between their rooms when I feel like they should have a break- Mochi has some swelling in her nose that causes some breathing issues, so I don’t like them playing too hard for too long of a time at once; but when I do, they sit by the fence and lay on the floor next to each other and cry for each other. They will play through the fence, even try to climb up the fence, but then I just get so confused with the whole wrestling thing. Are they really just playing and is Nadja just dramatic, bratty and vocal? I was thinking this might be the case since she’s so used to her dog siblings letting her have her way, but Mochi is a bit bigger than her and their wrestling matches almost always end up with Nadja on the bottom. Or is this actually fighting and do I need to continue intervening when things like this happen?

Sorry for the long post, I’m a pretty new cat parent. I’ve fostered previously but they were a trio of siblings who got along right away. I have a more extensive background with dogs so I’m at a bit of a loss here. Any help or advice would be appreciated!

(I’ve also been spraying feliway and I think it’s helped a bit, but I’m also super allergic to a lot of things and I think that it’s making my asthma worse so I’m pausing on it for now and I apologize if you hear me breathing- or struggling to breathe in the video lol.)

[u/brownboyghaffar]

Seems like innocent play to me. No fur flying, no hissing, tail wagging usually means let’s play too.

[u/mmaimaimai → u/brownboyghaffar]

That’s what I want to believe since they keep wanting to hang out with each other even right after their tussle. But Nadja’s vocalization keeps throwing me off. I’m inclined to believe she is just being dramatic and bratty (because she is a sweet little hell-spawn with an attitude,) but I just want to make sure no one’s getting too stressed. Today she was hissing and growling while running around and I was confused because I saw Mochi just sitting there… turns out she had a spring toy stuck on her foot and it freaked her out.

She is a very vocal and dramatic girl in general, but yeah I just want to be sure. Thank you for your input! This makes me feel a bit better.

Even if it is genuine fighting.. is this something they will figure out amongst themselves in time, or do I need to intervene before it gets bad? I usually do end up putting a stop if it’s back to back (Mochi can get really riled up and insistent, even with just me or her doggy siblings-) but I’ve also been told not to coddle them too much and try to get them to figure out each other’s boundaries.

[u/brownboyghaffar → u/mmaimaimai]

My 2 kitten are litter mates, have never been apart for more than 2 hours from each other. They still growl, hiss, swat each other occasionally. It’s part of owning 2 cats. If they really fight you can tell, it’s not a pretty sight.

[u/RickZillaMTG]

If there's no blood, there's no problem.

Cats playing together can look pretty rough, but generally, when they fight for real, they go for the stomach, the eyes, and other sensitive parts. There are other signs, too, like flattened ears and puffed up tails that indicate they feel threatened. Also, and this is the part that really gives it away, cats fighting is LOUD.

You see how they separate and then Mochi comes looking for attention? That's a cat who isn't worried about being attacked. If you're really worried about them hurting each other, you can clip their claws or put covers on, but generally they just look like they're roughhousing to me.

[u/Wide_Beautiful_5193]

Looks like some rough housing to me. I can see the lighter coloured cat wanting to play and does a nice little pouncing maneuver to her sibling, who responds by wresting black and then they go their own ways.

I have 2 cats and they sometimes fight, my cat Max (he’s 2) will bite his brother Tazzy ( he’s 3) who is older by 1 year. Max is learning to rough house and sometimes goes a little over the top. I know when they’re fighting because Taz will meow really loudly and it’s a meow that he’s hurting and that’s when I separate them. I play with Max to help him reduce his extra energy he has (I don’t ever encourage my cats to bite, I rescued Max from a shelter when he was 14 weeks old and his litter was abandoned by their mama) Tazzy will also make a yowling meow, almost like a scream, and that’s when I also know things have gotten out of hand. Since I’ve started doing that over the last year with Max, I’ve noticed an improvement and he’s learning — him and Taz are able to play and wrestle together without biting all the time and they now cuddle with each other which they didn’t do before. So they are growing closer together

[u/mmaimaimai]

I can’t edit the post for whatever reason but Nadja is the DSH torti-point, and Mochi is the tuxie. Mochi is slightly older and has a bit of a size difference on Nadja in both weight and stature. They’re in separate rooms when my partner or myself aren’t with them, just until I’m sure everything is solid because Mochi has an auto-immune disease and I want to make sure she isn’t over exerting herself or they’re fighting when I’m not with them.

[u/Ordinary_Purpose4881]

elements of both there

[u/luckysparkie]

Actual fighting.

[u/mmaimaimai → u/luckysparkie]

If that’s the case, why do they cry for each other and then play so friendly when the barrier is up between their rooms? 😭 I’m so confused. In the video here I caught Nadja being the instigator but it’s usually Mochi. Despite whoever causes the fight, after Nadja stops her hissing and brushes it off, they go right back to chasing each other around and take turns. The entire time Mochi does not make a sound, it’s only ever Nadja (even when she instigates.)

[u/luckysparkie → u/mmaimaimai]

They sound very verbal. Will probably not fight to the death, OP