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u/sandrunner0631225 9d ago
Now me and my wife tag team guys. Lol
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u/FeralChapstick 8d ago
Yeah, I was gonna say I'm not treating them the same at all cuz I'm gonna start suggesting a bunch of new stuff!
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u/AdamBlaster007 9d ago
My friends group just lightheartedly called me "gayyyyyyy!!!!" for like 5 minutes and then moved on to dogpiling on another one in the group for saying something dumb that was unrelated.
I'd rather it be like this then they suddenly be a LGBTQ Ally. Nothing wrong with being one, just not something I'd properly appreciate.
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u/NumberFour_123 9d ago
Yeah, if my friends turned into super allies when around me I'd feel like they're just doing it to show me support, and not because they actually care.
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u/8wiing 9d ago
Celebrating cus now you get to peg him
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u/Damp_Unicorn 9d ago
I love that bi men and pegging go together like PB&J. :)
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u/VenomBars4 9d ago
I see so many articles about straight men and pegging. What it means about sexuality and such. I just laugh.
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u/Damp_Unicorn 9d ago
My favorite is âstraight for straightâ. đ
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u/VenomBars4 9d ago
Exactly. I love all the posts that say, âIâm totally straight!!! I just really want to feel a cock inside meâŚâ
Go off, I guess.
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u/jkurratt 9d ago
What I learned is that they know their sexuality and I am not going to question it too much.
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u/fortyfivepointseven 9d ago
Super galaxy brain: come out as trans in order to affirm their bisexuality
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u/all-i-said-was-hi 9d ago
My gf is bi/pan (I'm straight), and all her sexuality tells me is she could have chosen to be with someone of any gender and she still picked me.
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u/mixermassive 9d ago
Is there a difference between 1 and 2?
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u/Ckinggaming5 bi, shy and wanting to die 9d ago
i suppose the first one is just like "ok neat" and nothing changes besides them being bisexual
and the 2nd one is more actively supporting them about it
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u/BartleBossy 9d ago
i suppose the first one is just like "ok neat" and nothing changes besides them being bisexual
tbh, this is the exact reaction I want.
I dont need a cheerleader. I just want to feel normal.
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u/SmartAlec105 9d ago
Yeah, whatâs important is matching the energy of the person coming out. If they say it as a casual thing, then treat it casually. If they seem a little nervous, then give them a smile and a few nice words. If they seem really worried about your reaction, then do whatever you need to assure them that youâre not bothered.
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u/generousbenefactor 9d ago
give them the 'ol "I appreciate you feeling comfortable enough to tell me" speech because that's how i would be to any of my friends if they came out to me.
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u/Spongi 9d ago
A bit of advice I could throw in.
Don't build up this huge story in your head that your partner is going to reject and hate you for coming out and then while thinking it's basically over because of that, catch the feels for that hot coworker, who gets off on going after married people. That's gonna be a much more difficult conversation.
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u/code-panda 8d ago
You'd appreciate a friend of mine. I would preface this with saying that he's an active LGBTIA activist.
Coworker: * comes out to him. *
Friend: "That's nice dear, I'm very proud of you. Now about that report, do you have these numbers for me?"
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u/VenomBars4 9d ago edited 9d ago
So why would you even come out? If it matters that little, why even talk about it? I donât mean this question from a place of mean intentions. It just doesnât make sense to me. If the reaction youâre wanting is that muted, why discuss it? To me, youâre treating it like the equivalent of telling a partner you found a dollar bill on the sidewalk today.
âNeat. Whatâs the plan for dinner?â
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u/Wosota 9d ago edited 9d ago
Because I want to share everything about myself with my partner. Random thoughts, deep thoughts, stupid thoughtsâŚI want to both hear and tell these to someone Iâm close with. Why hide something that is a part of me? I donât want a huge parade, I just want it to be a fact about me that they know, like my favorite pizza or preferred temperature setting.
Jokes on me though, after I told him he slowly started pulling away and then told me âwell at least you can date girls nowâ at the START of his conversation asking for a divorce.
So I guess in a way it worked. đŽ
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u/LargeMember-hehe 9d ago
I mean, why would a partner want to hear about you suddenly discovering a form of sexuality that cannot possibly include him. How is that good news? Lol. I think you probably should have kept that pizza flavor to yourself. Think about others feelings.
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u/VenomBars4 9d ago
Exactly this. Imagine your partner actively reading articles and posts about how to support bi partners rather than just saying âneatâ and pretending it doesnât exist.
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u/GreeceZeus 9d ago
Alright, I still don't get it, but maybe only because my bisexuality isn't a big part of my identify but... what would I need support with? What ARTICLES would they read? Hell, I'm mostly on this sub because hot guys and girls are often posted but I don't even know what I have to do due to my bisexuality... what should I expect from my partner?!
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u/VenomBars4 9d ago
I canât tell you what to expect, but partners can at least be educated about what itâs like navigating this world as a bisexual person. For men specifically, this includes ideas about masculinity, closeted queerness, and gender roles.
The social stigma is that bi men are just gay men in denial using women as âbeards.â Just the idea of a heterosexual partner attempting to put themselves in the shoes of someone who has viewed the world through a queer lens their whole life is important to me, because theyâre trying to understand, accept, and know me better.
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u/brother_of_menelaus 9d ago
Yeah I mean itâs a meme so itâs not exactly a fully fleshed out idea, but I think you nailed it - itâs about trying to understand what itâs like to be viewed in society as a bisexual person and just trying to empathize - and identify - the hardships they might face due to that. Itâs not like, watching Magic Mike together.
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u/kellerisdabest actually attracted to pans 9d ago
If my partner became a Bionicle that would be bad ass
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u/fixthe_fernback 8d ago
How about trying to use bisexuality as an attempt to alienate the father and strip his parenting rights in a divorce? What Pooh rating is that?
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u/Pale_Disaster 9d ago
My ex was reasonable in that she was aware that I had more people I was likely to be attracted to compared to a straight dude.
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u/AerolsCausticCrater 8d ago
My partner has trust issues because sheâs been cheated on then told âIâm polyâ. Cue me, a while later, being a baby polyamorous person but also according to her, someone she trusts and loved very deeply. Weâve been together for almost a year now, and itâs been bumpy in some ways, and incredible in others.
Anyway, my point is she has trust issues but she tries to not let that get in the way of me having fun at bars and parties when sheâs not there. Iâm a faithful person who chose to be in a monogamous relationship, and nothings changing about that. But it can be hard for people to get past the past.
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u/Volendror 8d ago
I showed support to my then gf of 5 years, but it turned out she came out bi also because she had tried with women multiple times while we were still together without telling me. We were in an open relationship, but once we broke up she confessed it all to me and I was kinda disapointed.
We're still good friend tho, and I jockingly tease her about it when I have the chance.
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u/ickystickynote sex with both of your guardians 9d ago
Oof, I got one of these. Told my husband I want a divorce and got the old "this is only happening because you came out as bisexual!" Like, no, this is only happening because we've been married 15 years and you've done your share of the housework for perhaps as much as two months' worth of that time. đ
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u/Awkward-potato_og 8d ago
Isn't it accepting and supporting your partners choice if you treat them same as before they came out?
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u/Uberzwerg 9d ago
Two of my exes came out as bi to (male) me after 2/4 years.
Both left me for the (SAME) woman.
Still supported them and one of them later even was at my wedding with said woman.
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u/Emalf-vi 8d ago edited 8d ago
I accept my partner being bi, I just don't accept not being monogamous.
Bcuz if he(in ma case) are tring to date another one its the time to cut losses
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u/Azair_Blaidd "Red Leader, Standing Bi" 8d ago
distrusting. mistrusting is putting trust in someone you shouldn't.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Mix-515 9d ago
I had a bi friend train her straight boyfriend to be bi. It was a really beautiful transition for him to open his eyes to guys after his whole that that far.
Then when she realized he had just doubled his dating pool she went hard homophobic on him. Completely flipped the table and said any man who could find another man attractive wasnât a real man or good enough for her. It was such a toxic bitch phase.
We were totally gonna have a threesome. >.< Thatâs what she was training him for. She wanted to be intimate with me, but he wasnât okay with that. So she trained him to want to get intimate with me so that itâd work outâŚ..and that backfired. (Not really, it wasnât a bad thing at all. She just got extremely insecure because sheâd gone from extremely fit to extremely out of shape over two years after an injury.)
She had other redeeming qualities. :/ I donât really talk to them much anymore. Lol
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u/Brilliant-Taro817 9d ago
She sounds extremely manipulative.
I'm on board with sexuality being fluid, I'm a late bi-loomer myself. But "training" someone into it seems kinda messed up.
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u/Whispering_Wolf 9d ago
Training to be bi? That's disgusting.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Mix-515 9d ago edited 9d ago
She helped him realize there is natural sexual beauty in both genders and basically untrained the thinking that straight is the normal healthy status.
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9d ago
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u/armoureddragon03 bi, shy and wanting to die 9d ago
Because you just realized something about yourself and you want to share it with your partner. You know, the person you trust most. But go off and enforce that stereotype I guess.
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u/MythrianAlpha 9d ago
Monogamy isn't going to stop me from thinking both Orlando Bloom and Elizabeth Swan are hot, nor will it prevent me from voicing that opinion aloud. Telling a partner I'm bi would either preemptively answer relevant questions or sort out the trash from my dating pool. How on earth is it suspicious to be bi? Because it's exactly as relevant to dating as being a brunette or having tattoos. The only suspicious thing would be the automatic assumption about my morals/desires based on nothing but the broadest requirement for my dating pool.
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u/EmperorBamboozler 9d ago
I dated a bisexual woman who called me the f slur and tried to kill me when I came out as bi. Members of the LGBT+ community who are bigoted against their own orientation are some of the most confusing people on the planet. I kind of feel bad for her honestly, she was so filled with rage over so many things that don't matter.