r/SuddenlyGay • u/hudsonbay001 • Apr 29 '24

Hate when that happens

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13.7k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

93 comments sorted by

2.5k

u/Aeroshe Apr 29 '24

Suddenly Straight?

1.4k

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

251

u/Raudskeggr Apr 30 '24

Proof that The Universe is curved…

80

u/Melito1980 Apr 30 '24

Like my pp

43

u/NewGuy-1964 Apr 30 '24

Ooh! I like curved pps. 🤤🥴

23

u/RentLast Apr 30 '24

And I like you ♡

8

u/NewGuy-1964 Apr 30 '24

Aww. Thank you. I like you too. Hugs

2

u/TheEyeGuy13 Apr 30 '24

It’s horseshoes all the way down

20

u/AllPurposeNerd Apr 30 '24

Somehow... Heteropatine returned.

18

u/lux_et_umbra Apr 30 '24

This is how I thought it could work out between a gay man and a lesbian woman when I first learned about homosexuality at a young age (maybe 9 or 10?)

8

u/Maximum_Vermicelli12 Apr 30 '24

Maybe that is all straight people are.

6

u/hwc000000 Apr 30 '24

No maybe. As kids, straight people tend to hang out with their own sex and think the other sex is full of cooties. ie. All kids are originally homosexual. That is, until they suddenly realize that the opposite sex isn't all gross and full of unnamed diseases, then they get physically involved.

3

u/jakob20041911 Apr 30 '24

Looking back at my childhood, I guess it makes sense I'm bisexual

2

u/TheRealSetzer90 May 01 '24

Don't you need to be having sex to have a preferred sexuality? Not trying to burst anyone's bubble, but this is a bit of an absurdist's view. You can't be homosexual until you learn that you're attracted to the same sex, at that age most people aren't attracted to anything because their hormones are not yet flooding their brains and causing endorphins to flow when they see qualities they like in a mate.

1

u/taukkunen May 02 '24

No, I don’t think you need to be having sex to have a preferred sexuality. I knew I liked male bodies and companionship long before I was pubic. It would be several years later before I began to masturbate…and when I did, I thought of male bodies.

1

u/TheRealSetzer90 May 02 '24

That's my point though. Anyone can enjoy the company of anyone before sexual maturation, but you can't actually know that you're sexually attracted to someone until... you're sexually attracted to someone...I mean it's not brain surgery. Sure, you might have a preference in the company you keep, but until you start picturing them naked with a jar of Vaseline in one hand and your member in the other...well your sexuality is not quite effectuated until that point, no?

There are plenty of heterosexual people that prefer the company of the same sex in all but bedroom situations, so their preference in the company that they keep has no actual bearing on their sexuality.

1

u/taukkunen May 02 '24

Valid point, but I knew long before I admitted it to myself.

30

u/justwannabeloggedin Apr 30 '24

This is the first time "time is a flat circle" has really made sense to me, i get it now

20

u/LossfulCodex Apr 30 '24

Sounds like the ol’ porn catch 22:

Straight porn is 50% gay because it has 1 penis to 1 vagina. A porn with 2 men is 100% gay for obvious reasons. Now if you’re a man watching lesbian porn, you’d think that that’s straight because no penis, right? But wrong since there’s no penis, no straight sex is occurring, therefore it is still 100% gay. Thus, any scenario involving porn is gay no matter how you dice it. All porn is gay porn.

5

u/somegarbagedoesfloat Apr 30 '24

Wb solo performance porn lol

6

u/pennradio Apr 30 '24

Somehow, also gay.

3

u/hwc000000 Apr 30 '24

Solo porn involves a person of one sex bringing sexual pleasure to a person of the same sex. Gay.

4

u/LossfulCodex Apr 30 '24

Thank you, finally someone understands my PhD thesis.

1

u/jakob20041911 Apr 30 '24

I wonder how gay trans porn is, I think depending on how transphobic you are, it might be 100% straight?

5

u/Flipperlolrs Apr 30 '24

It's like the whole negative x negative = positive

7

u/Rad10_Active Apr 30 '24

It's the sexual version of the horseshoe theory.

1

u/Hello5068 Apr 30 '24

It’s like multiplying two negatives

48

u/The_Ashen_undead0830 Apr 29 '24

Suddenly trans and straight. Schrodinger's straight.

8

u/KJBenson Apr 30 '24

Not going to lie, that’s kinda gay.

2

u/Mel_Melu Apr 30 '24

Or Suddenly Pan?

1.2k

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

346

u/PlayyWithMyBeard Apr 29 '24

They took the scenic route

9

u/Spectrobes_fan2009 Apr 30 '24

Was it through a field of Lavender?

6

u/PlayyWithMyBeard Apr 30 '24

The uHauls were on the other side of it, so yes.

879

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

155

u/damienreave Apr 30 '24

So double gay follows the same rules as double negatives?

37

u/not_WD35 Apr 30 '24

The gay overflowed back into straight

19

u/paythe-shittax Apr 30 '24

Horseshoe theory

350

u/FatFriendBoi Apr 29 '24

Is that a win or... im confused

335

u/lennosaur Apr 29 '24

Kissed attractive person... sounds good to me.

71

u/Rich-Equivalent-1875 Apr 29 '24

I was going to say that sounds HOT

11

u/Melito1980 Apr 30 '24

Say it like its the 2000’s

11

u/vanBraunscher Apr 30 '24

In Paris Hilton's nasal voice:

That's hawt!

242

u/Felipe_Pachec0 Apr 29 '24

Gotta hate it when integer overflow turns you straight

53

u/MCMFG Apr 29 '24

I walked 12,550,823 meters away from my birthplace towards the north of Great Britain on my way to Brighton. I was unaware at the time that the floating point value which determines your sexuality was tied to the distance away from your birthplace, I was 12 million meters away, this caused the floating point value to become so imprecise that I became gay.

I was already gay, but it made me even gayer.

15

u/valvilis Apr 30 '24

When you're cruising at 255 Gay Points then somehow accidently get one more that the developer didn't think was possible, so they didn't include any extra hex space for, and poof.

2

u/vanBraunscher Apr 30 '24

Poof is the sound of turning gay.

I think you meant foop.

Regards, the Onomatopoeia Mafia

148

u/LoganJake210 Apr 29 '24

Trying to understand this is like trying to divide by 0

52

u/Additional_Beyond847 Apr 29 '24

I think this is accidentally straight.

36

u/scottymac87 Apr 30 '24

This is a very gay and very British thing to do.

96

u/TAR_TWoP Apr 29 '24

Going to a big gay nightclub in the mid 90s as a young gay teen meant playing a lot of Is This Person In A Ralph Lauren Polo A Preppy Gay or A R'n'B Lesbian?, where I kept looking at people across the strobing lights, wondering if I've been following a lesbian for the past 20 minutes.

51

u/abidail Apr 30 '24

God, had that happen to me one time--person I thought was a dude bro hitting on me turned out to be a hot butch.

21

u/SitInCorner_Yo2 Apr 30 '24 edited Apr 30 '24

My brother has this happen to him in reverse,he took after our mom in almost everyway so he had a very androgynous look as a teenager,especially he was in a band so he had bleach long hair and couple of earrings ,but once he open his mouth no one would think he’s a girl.

There’s a lesbian flirting with him at a party,eventually she came to ask him”You’re a T(boyish lesbian) eh?”

And he completely kill her mood with one very deep OH LOL

16

u/TAR_TWoP Apr 30 '24

And it can lead to lots of laughter and sharing a drink!

15

u/abidail Apr 30 '24

What I'm really learning from this is that we need an app that pairs lesbians and gay men together so at least one of us gets to go home with the hot person lol.

8

u/NewGuy-1964 Apr 30 '24

Takes being a wingman to a whole new level.

32

u/Joaquin1079 Apr 30 '24

"wait, you're not a clumsy soldier femboy twink? can't believe i fell in love with a chick"

12

u/rarrowing Apr 30 '24

Nothing is gayer than hetero relationships. I will die on this hill.

10

u/The_Hate_Is_A_Gift Apr 30 '24

This is the most British thing that has ever happened.

27

u/Audemars1989 Apr 29 '24

I'm an avid watcher (mainly because of my partner) of the Great British Baking Show and all the men look gay af. They could have 15 wives at home and I'd still clock them as gay. Things are, uh, different over there.

13

u/benblais Apr 30 '24

I call this “queer overflow” you are so gay it overflows into straight. Happens with trans couples all the time.

0

u/acuddlyheadcrab Apr 30 '24

ahahaha this is amazing

6

u/LEGamesRose Apr 29 '24

Fake and... Gay???

7

u/steampunk_doctor Apr 30 '24

When gay goes full circle

3

u/omnichronos Apr 30 '24

I know what he means. I've found some "twink" lesbians attractive myself.

3

u/omguserius Apr 30 '24

HA! STRAIGHT!

2

u/zehamberglar Apr 30 '24

That just sounds like heterosexuality with extra steps.

2

u/jprestonian Apr 30 '24

Seems properly English. Carry On!

2

u/trebuchet__ Apr 30 '24

So far gay that it somehow became straight

2

u/3string Apr 30 '24

Today marks a year since mum said it was my turn to repost this

2

u/CivilLab9711 Apr 30 '24

That made me lol on the bus

1

u/santathe1 Apr 30 '24

2 gays do make a straight…apparently, if only briefly.

1

u/TescoQuality Apr 30 '24

this is the same logic as how two negatives make a positive

1

u/mybadroommate Apr 30 '24

Hetero Gift of the Magi

1

u/Dread_Frog Apr 30 '24

more like Suddenly Bi isn't it?

1

u/Clubtrooper Apr 30 '24

Not me here… GRABBIN’ THE POPCORN and jumpin’ over dildos… STRAIGHT.
TO. THE. COMMENTS!!!🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿

1

u/mannkato Apr 30 '24

Vive L’amore! :-)

1

u/itsmaxwellj May 01 '24

Life, finds a way

1

u/Oldman5123 May 01 '24

Oh deary me…. Such confusion

1

u/scythaah Apr 30 '24

I’ve seen this countless times but it’s so funny whether it’s true or not.

1

u/lukemia94 Apr 30 '24

We are heading towards an androgynous drug fueled dystopia /s