460 odd days ago, I stopped drinking.

460 odd days ago, my wife lost her drinking partner.

Directly or indirectly, so did her parents, my sister, brother in law and a number of friends.

Today, we have had a get together of 10 of us and what would have been a very boozy get together (historically double figure bottles of wine plus various other) has been a very gentle affair where the grand total is 2 bottles of wine and a half dozen bottles of beer.

All of that because I stopped and others followed....

So a word of caution - your (and my) sobriety can have positive effects way beyond your own little world.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the sub, I raise a glass (of hot chocolate in my case) and salute you all - Be you on day 1 or day 1000 - and say once more IWNDWYT

I did it. You can too. Life is so great without alcohol. The Big Book Promises will come true.

I really haven't got this.

Nearly 5 months AF. On Christmas eve, I had two small glasses of champagne with friends. Christmas day, had another two small glasses.

It's Christmas, just having a couple, all good right? No. Because today I woke with the anxiety I'd been blissfully free off the past few months. I spent all morning with the should I /shouldn't I thoughts on having a drink later. They distracted me, I went from no thoughts about drinking to constant cognitive dissonance all day where I'd feel better if only I had a drink. It was a strong feeling.

I'm resetting back to 1 today. I've reminded myself why life is better without the booze. If you are reading this and are tempted, please consider not what it might give you,but what it will take away.

I'm sitting here on my couch after drinking on Christmas, even though I had planned not to. I had about 3 glasses of champagne, 6? glasses of wine and god knows how much beer. I'm anxious, my head is aching and my stomach is so upset. I'm contemplating how our society normalized drinking literal poison. Why do we do this to ourselves? I hate this disorder so much and I'm so upset I drank yesterday. I'm not sure the reason for this post, maybe I need a bit of support or want those who slipped up yesterday to feel like they aren't alone. Anyways, I will not drink with you today.

Hey folks, I’ll keep it brief here. Hoping someone can relate to it maybe. Before I got sober I struggled with being able to confront people or topics that are a bit touchy, unless under the influence. Be that with women, or be that with my parents or whatnot. That went for everything besides work. My business revolves around rejection ironically enough. But, being rejected in my business never made me subconsciously question my self worth I guess. Anyways, point is - emotions, communication… all of it was a struggle unless intoxicated. Of course the intoxication lead to the numbing of “feelings” and would allow me to be “brave” enough to say whatever I “wanted” to say. Granted, it lead to mostly bad things.

So, after five years, I’ve been slowly building myself up to doing things sober and boy has it been tough but worth it. Be that dancing in a club all the way to asking a women out. Today, I asked someone out that I liked but was unsure if she liked me back.

She rejected me …. It sucked, and it stung a bit, but I did it. Sober. Didn’t need a drink to ask her out. Didn’t need a drink to numb the emotions of being rejected. And I didn’t lash out in drunken anger neither. Kept it polite and all…

I don’t know why, but it feels like a win…… but I should be sad? lol. Maybe I am a bit sad that I got rejected but I’m also kinda happy I was able to do that. I mean I’ve dated in the last five years so it’s not the first time I’ve asked someone out and got rejected sober. But it’s the first time I really stopped and realized that I did that… sober.

Alright hope that helps someone and if not… thanks for listening and allowing me to vent. And of course, thank you everyone for keeping me sober tonight.

Iwndwyt

This morning I told my partner I want to go to Hawaii for my 40th birthday (in a year). We still have some debt and he’s frugal so wasn’t too receptive at first. But then I mentioned it could also be my 1 year sober anniversary. He said, “I’ll tell you what. You make it 1 year and we’ll make it happen. We’ll find the money”, and we shook on it. Hopefully in one year I will be posting in this sub about my trip 🫡🙂🌴 IWNDWYT!

I was where you are a year ago. I know how it feels. I remember seeing people posting milestone updates and I so desperately wanted to be them. I wanted to get some sobriety under my belt, I wanted to get past those first few hurdles that feel impossible, I wanted to feel like I was actually serious about it this time. And it was terrifying, because I really didn't know if I would get through the next few hours and days without drinking. I was just scares all the time.

The things that worked for me included: - Taking things literally a minute at a time. I stopped even thinking about staying sober for an hour nevermind a day. I really focused on the minutes and clung on by my fingernails. - I visited this sub constantly. Reading others' experiences served both as an inspiration and a warning. Sobernauts were here to show the great bits of sobriety, and those who had relapsed/newbies gave me reminders of what was on the line. We all share our stories here, and they all serve a purpose. We learn from each other, we give/receive support when it's most needs. This place is magical. - I read about alcohol and the damage it causes. I had to face up to it and learn about what harm I had caused myself. It wasn't pleasant, it caused anxiety, but I needed the truth.

Once I got going in my sobriety, I stopped counting the minutes and settled into the days. I still read about alcohol educationally and I still visit this sub daily.

Now for the good bit. The benefits of sobriety for me have included: - THE SLEEP! It's so good. No hangovers, no waking up at 3am with hangxiety and lying awake for hours. - The relief. It's such a relief to not have to worry about how much I'm drinking. - My relationships. They are more meaningful, more important. - My health. I no longer have heartburn and I've dropped at least a dress size, probably more. My hair and skin are glowing. I've had a lot of comments about how different I look. I will add that all of this is without joining a gym or dieting or any of that - I just stopped drinking. - My hobbies. I actually have some again. And the thing I'm loving the most right now is that I enjoy the little things in life again. Alcohol took that away from me and it took many months of sobriety to start looking forward to things again and to enjoy little things. Even things like looking forward to watching a movie - when drinking I couldn't imagine enjoying it without alcohol. I wouldn't want to do it at all without drinking. EVERYTHING needed to involve alcohol to be 'fun'. Now, watching a movie is fun all on its own. Simple joy can and does return but it may take a while so trust the process. - Myself. I didn't like who I had become. The shame and the worry was soul destroying. Now, I'm actually proud of myself and I get a bit emotional about it. I remember where I was a year ago, I remember that desperate person who needed to turn things around and who wanted it so badly. I remember the chaos, the struggle.

I remember where you are now. And where I am now - this can be you a year from now, making this post for someone else.

YOU CAN DO THIS. I believe in you.

IWNDWYT

I’m seeing all these lovely posts about milestones and avoiding drinking through the holidays, and I wanted to remind those who may have slipped up that the time you relapsed doesn’t take away from the days you were able to stay sober.

The holidays are hard for lots of people and you are certainly not the only one who is going through what you are going through.

But today is a new day and 2025 can be started on a new trajectory and you can completely change your life, one day at a time.

IWNDWYT 💕

something like "i am taking a break" etc. When in reality, I know I am not taking a break (or i shouldn't be).

Watching this woman just shut down any conversation about drinking with a very confident "I don't drink" with no hesitation, was just so beautiful and empowering, I am going to move forward with this technique.

Truly, you don't owe anyone any explanation, in all honesty its sort of rude to ask someone why they are not drinking. Its actually such a personal question- maybe you are pregnant, an alcoholic, have a family member who is an alcoholic, are taking a certain medication, etc. A million reasons why someone could not drink that make the question insensitive.

That’s it. That’s the post. IWNDWYT, or any other day!

My husband picked me up AF sparking wine for mimosas. Everyone else had real wine. Turns out the one he grabbed from the nonalcoholic section of the store was 12.5%. Had two and felt it so checked and realized the mistake.

I was at 488 days - back to day 1.

UPDATE: 🤗 Thank you for the support and advice. I am going to keep it running at my husbands request (he feels horrible) and after reading all your thoughtful feedback. There was no intent, I remained sober - I’m going to let it go. IWNDWYT ❣️

I was beating myself up badly this morning about having a drinking problem. I can’t control it no matter how much I try. I kept thinking I can’t live like this anymore, and I was carrying a massive mental chain around my neck terrified of starting over trying to control this.

Then I had an epiphany. I only have a drinking problem if I drink. I only have this HORRIBLE thing in my life if i, myself, choose to lift alcohol to my lips. If I don’t ever do that again, the “problem that’s ruining my life” immediately becomes “the problem that WAS ruining my life.” I remembered the first message of AA — that i am 100% powerless over alcohol. This is why I’ve had a never ending problem for 10 years. On some level I thought I had (or could have) control over this. And for what??? Struggling every day to control something I have no obligation or ability to control? I CANT control it. No amount of willpower, nor tricks, nor time off, will ever allow me to control alcohol.

Accepting my powerlessness on my most fundamental, core level, is ridiculously empowering. What an irony. Christmas Day is a great day to have had my last drink. Awesome day for a new beginning. And I’ll love starting dry January after being through physical detox.

Happy holidays! IWNDWYT

This is my first time posting here. I’ve looked at this sub before but always thought that I was ok to keep drinking a little. But last night was the last straw for me. I drank far too much and don’t remember the night ending. My husband said I was cruel and demeaning. He said I said some really mean stuff (stuff I don’t even actually feel). I’m just so sad. I had such a great time with family and my drinking ruined the night and today. I’m so ashamed. I thought posting here might help me really start this journey. Day 1…

Alcohol . And alcohol alone , helped me create a version of myself that now sober, is saying " who the hell were you ?" Never would I play poor pitiful me now. The victim of what other people have done to me. Drunk crying over anything I had going on in my life that seemed tough. Yes I have experienced tough things in life . Yes I've been hurt and abused by people I love . Take away the alcohol and these tough things are now things I've excepted and found my way into making them part of my story .

I don't pick up the phone drunk and blabber on and on to anyone who who will listen . I don't sit down next to a stranger in a bar a go on and on about my personal life . I don't pour alcohol down my throat as fast as I can to get the nerve to communicate to the world what a big deal my life is ,as if I'm the only one living a life as a human .

Personal insight is a beautiful thing . Alcohol made me feel sorry for myself . The one thing I never want to feel just because I'm drunk and distorting things! I now feel for myself sober! Life has become full of lots of little beautiful things each and everyday . I have examined my heart and grown into a person who feels proud to be saying no to alcohol and the negative effects it's had on my life.

And it's ok to share and talk about the hard things in my life . As long as they don't come out by drunk blabbering . I really love sharing with you all here , This group has been my source of growth through so much. Stay strong all .You have a friend in me always ❤️

I almost slipped up this year. My brother who was also sober… he broke his streak and that made me NOT slip up. Seeing him like that made me realize how important it is to stay sober. I was so tempted so so close. Then I saw him driving drunk…

I wish I could help him but most of us here in this sub, know that it has to come from you. Even if everyone tells us to quit drinking or make a change, it’s not until we decide it’s time that the changes truly happen.

I hope he finds his way. In the meantime, I will be celebrating my 3 years on January 3rd.

Much decaf and sparkle water later, done.

I was able to leave work early today because it was slow. I didn't go to the bar after work. That's all. Just wanted to let someone know.
Instead I came home and did a load of laundry, took a shower, changed my bedding and I'm getting ready to crawl in and zonk out.
I'll see y'all in the morning without a hangover and with a fresh cup of coffee!

One year ago, right around this time of day, I drained the dregs of a whiskey bottle I'd hidden in my coat pocket after buying it at a liquor store I knew was open on Christmas Day. I told myself I needed it to get through a holiday with the family, although I knew even then that whatever suffering I was enduring was due to years of this very same kind of drinking and sneaking and pushing through hangovers.

As I sat in the passenger seat on the ride home, I caught a look at the expression on my face in the side mirror. It was horrible, a look I would never want on my face. I took a picture on my phone - my mouth distorted into a miserable grimace, my eyes sagging and bleary and to top it off, there was a smear of bird shit on the mirror where my reflection was. I looked at it again just now and took in how far away I was in that moment - and how far away I am from that moment now.

There were a few things that finally brought me to a place where I could remain sober. Fully taking in the anguish my drinking was causing my wife was a big one. So was this community, which I came to every day and, even when it was hard, typed in the magic letters "IWNDWYT" and upvoting other posts that helped me carry on. Also working with my therapist and, on his advice, entering a Ketamine-assisted therapy program. This was risky given that I was addressing an addiciton (and chronic depression and anxiety) with another drug, but as it turned out has helped diminish any cravings for alcohol.

This is a week when many of us take stock of what we are grateful for. I came here today to declare I will remain sober with all of you but also to give thanks for what you have done for me here, just by being open and vulnerable, by upvoting my own posts and by responding with compassion and wisdom in the moments when I felt dangerously close to reaching for a drink. This is a long post, but all the words I may summon cannot convey how grateful I am for each and every one of you here, wherever you are in your journey to sobriety.

While 365 days marks the time of my last, worthless binge, the day I committed myself to getting sober actually came three months earlier - when I logged onto a Zoom meeting shitfaced in front of everyone in my department. I logged off that call certain that everyone knew I was drunk, climbed upstairs to collapse on a bed and await the worst. Luckily, it never came. If anyone noticed, they didn't say anything. Instead, about an hour later, I reached for my headphones and played my music app on shuffle. The fist song to come up was one I probably hadn't heard for maybe a decade: Arcade Fire's "Wake Up". Weirdly, it felt like someone sending a message to me, and I clutched the hope it gave me close to my heart.

Of course, I didn't stay sober for long. "Bad things" kept happening - by that, I mean the things that just happen in life, which I used as an excuse to drink in what felt like an unfair world. The bad things haven't gone away, but what the Buddhists call the second arrow is a lot easier to remove without alcohol.

I'm sharing this story in hopes that someone who is starting out on the path of sobriety finds at least a little comfort and encouragement in it. One of alcohol's favorite lies is that you are alone in this struggle. You are not. Especially if you have found your way here.

Thanks you all again. Any many happy sober days in 2025. IWNDWYT!

Welp, I had a good run. 685 days ago, I decided to quit drinking. 22.8 months.

Quitting drinking was one of the best decisions of my life (next to marrying my wife, and having kids). I've felt so much better over the past few months, and learned so much about myself -- my weaknesses and what just generally makes me tick. It's amazing what you can do, and "see" when you stop numbing and self-medicating.

Over the past few months, I've felt myself starting to unravel. I live in the southeast, and was impacted by the hurricane that happened in September. First it was my fitness and nutrition discipline... I just ate whatever... we were just trying to survive, right? Then it was online gaming, and generally other sources of self-medication. It may not seem like a lot, but when your armor gets chipped away, it seems easier to breakdown the one that keeps you from even thinking drinking is something that you want.

Yesterday, for our Christmas get together, I decided to have a glass of wine. I have over the past had a few sips with my wife. When it's in control, I consider it within the bounds of sobriety. For whatever reason, I decided to have a second, and then to help finish the bottle. It was okay if it was out in the open, stopped there, and wasn't hidden like I'd done before, right? -- Today, I decided to tap into a bottle of Cognac that my wife had used for a recipe. I hid it from the family, mixed it with a soda, and enjoyed my night of self-medication. I'm catching it now before a bender...

I feel a bit guilty for endulging, and for resetting my clock. I'm left with the thoughts of what to do. Do I jump right back on the bandwagon? Or, do I take some time and gather the same resolve I had before? It was the resolve I needed to carry me through the hard days when I was stressed out, or when I was in a social event for work and my resolve got me through those without drinking?

Anyway, this is the first place I came to when I decided to quit last time... the first I'm coming to now that I realize I've crossed the line, and will come back when I've restarted the journey.

Who “sleighed” at Christmas by staying sober? Today is feeling great without a hangover. Sending love to you all. And if you slipped you can get right back up today.

I was in and out of consciousness. I was pretty aware that I could die. I was lying down on the floor of the tub, water running. There’s actually no question about it. If I passed out, I’d have died. I almost just let it happen. Then I realized how awful it would have been to find me like that. This is the first time I’ve been tempted to just “let it happen”. I’m attending my second meeting tonight. I don’t really know how to feel about this.

White knuckled all the way home from work not to stop at a gas station for a 24. Just gotta put the foot on the gas and keep moving. Another day on the books.

Be well folks!

I’m very sad and can feel myself in the early stages of wanting to drink. I’m 3 months 21 days sober and I just wanna drink 2 tallboys and go to sleep. (It’s the middle of the day here). I think I’ll go get an ungodly amount of junk food to offset my cravings. Man I wish I didn’t love alcohol so much

Good morning, my favorite group of drunks!

It's the day after Christmas, and I know many people here fought hard to stay sober yesterday. I am so proud of all of you!

It's the day after Christmas, and I know many of you may be starting your journeys today. What I want to say to you is welcome, we kept a seat warm for you.

If you are here today, you made it. I stopped counting my days earlier this year, because I had hit my milestone I'd never thought I'd be able to get to.

A year sober. Today is day 486 (thanks google) and today I'm spending the day with my wife and reading your stories from the holidays!

One day sober, one year sober, we're all here which means we've made it. Congrats!

Keeping all of you in my thoughts today and, as usual, IWNDWYT!

Hey all, I’m glad to be back interacting and reading the posts in this group. I was sober for a little over a year in 2023, and started drinking moderately about 6 months ago because I figured I beat it. Everything started off okay, but overall I was constantly thinking about how many drinks I had, how much I could drink that night, debating about buying myself a bottle of wine, etc etc. the past month things really escalated - I drank my partners alcohol (triple sec, ew), refilled it with water and put it back in the freezer. I forgot that I did that until the next day when I looked in the freezer and saw it FROZEN (obviously???). I devised a plan to buy another bottle and switch them out in secret. If that doesn’t scream alcohol problem, I’m not sure what does. Finally, during our Christmas celebration, I got too drunk and ruined the night and ended up calling my ex who I have not thought about in FOREVER.

Overall, I honestly feel relieved. Moderation felt like such an impossible burden, and I knew it was only a matter of time until things fell apart. Here’s to day 2. Thankful for all of you!