After a lot of mom’s came here to vent about their horrible Christmas, I saw a lot of other mom’s saying things like “oh I could never be with someone like that”

We get it.

The thing is, at least in my experience- my husband was never like this. When it was just us two, before kids. My stocking was full- overfilled at that. I was always gifted the things I asked for or things he heard me talk about or even mention once. He was never this horrible. Once we became parents or I became a mom it’s like that’s all I am to him. A mom. His kids mom. When I was just pregnant on mother’s day, I got a gift then. This was the first year he somehow changed. No mothers day gift, no birthday gift, we used to do spooky baskets or whatever theme baskets- none of that this year. No over filled stocking. A horrible, last minute, christmas gift.

Anyway, what Im trying to say is that some of us didn’t see the changes in our husbands coming once kids were in the picture. We didn’t know we would go from feeling like their spouses, partners, etc, to just a mom. A lot of us can’t just get up and leave either. There are other obstacles like finances or whatever it may be for others.

It’s amazing to read that a lot of mommies have support and a kind and loving husband. Everyone deserves that. However, that doesn’t mean that the ones that don’t should get shamed or guilted for not having that. I don’t mean to start anything, that’s not my intention at all. I just kept seeing “those women need to speak up” “I would have left and filed for a divorce” or “why are they marrying these type of men?” comments and it was a little disheartening.

We are on a plane. Husband, 4 year old, 20 month old and myself. 4 year old is happy on her tablet. 20 month old sticking to me.

Airhostess comes by with our food. I don't want to eat with the toddler in my laptop being super squiggly so I ask her to just place my foodbox along with my husband's on his plate.

Husband finishes his food, smiles at me and asks me: Do you want yours? It's surprisingly good!

Me: Yes. I was just waiting for you to get done so you could hold the baby and I could eat.

Him, handing me my box: You can totally hold her and eat single handed.

Me: But why on earth would I do that when I have you here? Why would you not hold her? I've been waiting for you to finish eating to grab her Voice slightly raised

Husband: Why are you so annoyed? I'll take her! You should have just asked me to begin with.

Me: I did!

I'm so tired of this whole argument. Why is something like this not common sense? How nice to be a husband who says "right then! Mamas turn to eat - come to me." Without me asking.

How can we communicate better and get on the same page? He's an amazing dad (very very hands on in his own right) but often just oblivious to when I need a break until i snap

I read. A lot. Like 12 books in 12 days a lot, because I got so in the zone. This all means I spend a fair amount of time both at home and in the book store reading the backs of books to see what I'm in the mood to read or buy, and as I'm home with my son more often than not, he's with me as I do this.

Tonight I told him to pick 3 or 4 books for bed time. In all of his infinite 2.5 yr old wisdom, picked up almost every book in his room and "read" the back while hmmmm-ing and ok-ing and very slowly and carefully selected his 6 books. He then did it again until we got down to 3 books, and he got in bed for me to read to him. It was the most ME behavior I have seen out of him aside from adjusting all the dimmers he can reach to "cozy" levels of light.

What do your kids do that they could only learn from watching you/your partner?

For anyone curious, his 3 books were Caps For Sale, Good Night Moon, and Bye Bye Binary.

I’m so embarrassed typing this but I figured someday another mom will experience this so you’re not alone, and if you have experienced it holy shit. My family consist of me, my husband, and our four year old. I was using the restroom (we are all passing a cold) so I wasn’t feeling great and taking a second. My husband went downstairs to grab his wallet and keys and saw our kiddo run upstairs. He started calling for him and no response. I finally hear him yelling so I walk out the bathroom and he said our kiddo is running around somewhere upstairs. We start looking and it’s about 10minutes and we can not find him.

Our house really isn’t that big but big enough for a four year old to go incognito. It got to the 15minute mark of us absolutely losing our mind because he saw him run upstairs but at this point I believed he had to have snuck back downstairs. 20minutes of no response (including me yelling his full name) I finally called the cops crying just like “sorry I can’t find my son I don’t know what to do” Y’all…….

He was under…. A blanket on my bed… that I was laying in before I used the restroom so it was balled up how I left it and he snuck right under it. It literally looked impossible for him to be there. LIKE I FELT SO DUMB I CHECKED EVERYWHERE(the dryer, the corner of closets, I flipped out the laundry basket, I looked under the bed, I called his name in our room like 10times) I just didn’t check THE BLANKET LOLL…. So yeah thank you to the police for responding and giving my son a high five, and reassuring him he must be the hide and seek champion.

I hope no one ever has to feel the fear of “where the fuck did my child go” because I genuinely thought I was living out a deranged horror scene and I’d find him stuck in a couch

(I’m on mobile I tried to space out the text to be more digestible sorry if it’s all blobbed together)

TW: mention of child abuse/assault

My husband and I took our 10 month old and 3 year old to Christmas dinner at my grandparents.

My husband took my daughter to the bathroom to change her diaper (it was a poopy one) and she got upset (this is not surprising to me because she cries when anyone but me changes her) And well he was changing her diaper my grandma and mom started getting upset asking me if my daughter was okay, why my husband was the one changing her, both hinting that they both thought he was molesting her. It made me so sick.

And to top it off, after awhile my mom took my daughter the “change her diaper” not even twenty minutes after my husband did and my grandma followed so “she could check on her” Seriously wtf. I was so mad, I didn’t want to say anything to my husband about it, I didn’t want to upset him. I trust my husband 100% with our daughter he’s an amazing father.

My daughter screamed at my mom when she tried to change her diaper too, she screams when anyone but me changes her diaper. I didn’t know how to handle this, I was so shocked my mom and grandma ganged up like that trying to convince me my husband was molesting our daughter in the bathroom four feet away from me. I ended up checking on them twice because they got to my head.

I feel sick about this entire thing, now I’m worried I have false trust in my husband, that if I let it slide something might happen and it’ll be my fault because I didn’t listen to my mom and grandma. I have no idea what to do.

I want to mention my husband has never given me a reason to not trust him with either our children ever.

So.. I will preface with; I am new to this. It’s only my 3rd year being mom. It hit me like a sledge hammer to realize the first year when nothing happened that I, mom, in fact was Santa, Mrs. clause and all of the elves. Literally all of it is a mom production and I was blind sided.

That being said, last year I got my bearings and this year I went full on.

I filled the stockings, and filled some extra. I really just went to the dollar store and got x-amount of all the things and put the same stuff in every stocking. I also purchased things for myself while I was shopping for other people and wrapped all that too. I got a few surprise items from my husband, in-laws, friends, and my family. But this was so much fun. I naught it all with his money, and really felt nice just getting myself some splurges I wouldn’t normally.

He does so much for us regularly, and he did get me a good gift of much needed new chef knives and a wet stone.

I’ll take it! If Christmas is my thing, than I’m in!! I got myself some holiday sequin slippers, a fantastic Christmas apron, and put Mariah Carrey on and it’s game time my friends.

It’s worth it to be the maker of the magic. I get to sit back day of and watch the happiness and smiles come to life on the faces of the people I love.

My parents (65f and 66m) have been here all week and are leaving today (yay!) and I’m kind of reflecting on how this has gone and what exactly changed.

I have 11mo twins so clearly THAT is what changed, but I don’t think the babies themselves are the difference.

Looking back on our relationship, in the past when my parents visited we had activity-filled days. Mom and I would ride horses together, dad would pick out various restaurants he wanted to try and we would eat out almost every meal. We might go out in the evenings to a music venue, and conversation was mostly over food or in the car. My parents would fund most of this stuff, (except I am the one who has horses)

Two huge things have changed this year- the babies of course, but also our financial situations, mine got 10x better. My husband graduated residency and is making a us doctor salary. It’s only been a few months and we are to our ears in debt, but things are looking very bright.

My parents have squandered most of their money and mom is back to working full time to pay for everything and dad’s company is on the edge of folding constantly.

So this week-

• all meals were cooked at home with food I bought.

• we could ride/go outside in 1hr chunks when babies were taking their long nap and dad was listening for them.

• no going out in the evenings.

It was a bit of a nightmare for me. My parents didn’t lift a finger all week. I did all cooking, all washing, all cleaning. Plus we are doing 4 bottles a day and 3 baby meals a day. I could get mom to hold a baby, but both of my babies are starting to get a bit of “mama” preference and when they are actually upset wanted me. They don’t change diapers, they don’t even take their dishes from the table to the sink. They plant their butts on the couch and play on their iPads and until I specifically ask them to move to come eat something.

Dad occasionally surfaces and rants about something. This week he ranted about: my job isn’t real science, no one reads books anymore, if healthcare becomes single-payer we won’t have mri machines anymore (don’t get me started…), and erectile dysfunction.

I’m looking forward to the toddler stage so that I can “toddler parent” my parents as well. And so the boys can climb on my parents and annoy them without me physically doing it lol.

It’s also horrendously depressing looking down the barrel of probably needing to take care of them as they age. They have neither the money nor the health to do it on their own.

— if you’re wondering where my husband is in this, my husband worked all week except Christmas, and every day came home and attacked the mess and baby bedtime with me. He did more than his share and I don’t feel like any of this is on him.

Yesterday I took my son to the indoor splash pad that we always go to near our house. His dad was also with us swimming. It’s a very small “pool” with the deepest part being 2ft. While we were playing with our son, two others kids asked to play with us, of course we said yes. Their mom was sitting outside the pool watching. Well, my sons father said something to me and I looked at him, looking away from my son who was walking in the water towards the other end of the small pool, my sons dads said something like “this little guy is named so and so too” literally that’s it….all of a sudden I see the mom on the bench spring up and jump in the pool and see my baby boy completely under the water. As I’m typing this my heart is racing and I feel insane guilt. I screamed and ran over to them as she grabbed him out of the water. My boy started crying right away and didn’t seem to be coughing or anything. He is completely okay. I started crying and I honestly don’t even know if I thanked her I was so out of my mind. I wish I did or hope I did because she saved my son. I am completely devastated I even let that happen . If that mom wasn’t there , I can’t even begin to think of what could’ve happened or how long I wouldn’t have noticed. All it took was literal seconds….. I guess I just need to vent. I am so scared that I can’t protect my baby now and so upset with myself. Looking back I’m like wtf was I thinking even looking away? Ugh. It was extremely scary and a lesson learned. My boy is okay and I am so grateful to that mom. So if you’re reading this, thank you from the bottom of my heart. We were both in the water, with our son, and this happened within seconds. I just can’t believe we let that happen….all it was was seconds that could’ve cost everything.

This is part rant and part request for advice on how you’d handle a situation like this.

My husband, our almost 2-year-old, and I recently visited family on the West Coast. We took a 7 PM PST flight home to the East Coast. Our daughter has been going through some sleep regression, but she’s usually a happy baby. On the plane, she was cheerful and played for a while, even though it was past her bedtime.

Around 10 PM PST, she got really sleepy and started to get fussy. She cried and screamed for about five minutes, which is just how she puts herself to sleep sometimes. She settled down and fell asleep soon after.

During her brief meltdown, a young couple sat in front of us, and the man turned around and told my husband to “control the baby.” My husband, told him to “f*** off, just turn around”. I was shaking from the interaction, but I decided not to escalate things further. To be honest, the guy didn’t strike me as a particularly kind or understanding person, based on his appearance. (I know I shouldn’t judge by appearances, but still.)

My small “revenge” was speaking to my husband about him in my native language. My husband is white but speaks my language fluently, so we had a bit of a private vent session right there.

When we got off the plane, I said sorry to the people around us. Everyone were understanding and said things like, “No worries,” or, “She’s almost 2? That’s such a tough age.” That helped me feel a little better, but the whole situation left a bad taste in my mouth.

I get it—crying babies can be really annoying on flights. I’ve been there myself. But if someone expects parents to “control” their baby, maybe they should “control” the situation by not flying on planes with babies?

That was our holiday flight experience. Thanks for listening! Any advice or similar experiences you’d like to share? How would you have handled this?

I've struggled with self esteem and body image in the past but I do remember feeling beautiful and comfortable in my skin a few times when I was younger. Now that I'm a wife and a mom in my mid 30s, and after struggling with PPD etc, I struggle with feeling like...what's the point of trying to eat healthy and working out if I'm only getting older and I'm just a mom now.

So I guess my question...have any of you found your beauty and confidence again? Is it worth it to try to look my best for me?

Thanks for any feedback in advanced.

Gravely shake your head and say “dear no, we do not invite the fae into our home”. Explain no further.

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Just having a night where the hardcore "momming" is hitting just right.

We're all a little sick so dinner is pasta, butter, cheese and peas. Daddy needed a shower and for the Advil to kick in, so I made up a bunch of extra steps to that so the two year old toddler could "help" with dinner.

1. She held the faucet while I filled the water

2. She helped me pick out a pasta shape

3. She transferred the pasta (by the handful) from box to measuring cup (even though I was making the whole box)

4. She gave me a big help by running to the other room to get a duplo block while I drained the pasta. Mommy promptly pretended to eat the block. This was of course a vital step in the process.

5. She put the butter in the pot with the pasta

Successful momming is a downright zen state. She ate it, she's proud of herself, mama is sitting on the couch while daddy takes over entertainment for a bit. Life is good.

I have two under two. Currently pregnant with my third. I’ve gotten the normal congratulations. Then I’ve had some people say “omg what are you going to do.” Not sure why this pisses me off to the max because what the hell do you mean what am I going to do? I’m going to take care of my kids, the ones I’m having not you, the ones I’ll be taking care of not you, the ones I completely MEANT to have. Mind you, I’m not in a predicament or situation as to where I can’t take care of my kids. My husband and I are good and my babies have everything they need and more. It just blows my mind how people just feel like they can so freely say things like this. Granted yes I’m having 3 under 3. But this was planned. We wanted to have our babies young and close in age.

I'm at a lost on what to do with my 5 year old daughter. She started touching her privates around 2 to 3 years old. Normal behavior fine. I thought she would grow out of it or maybe it would happen less when she was out of diapers but unfortunately it seems to be getting worse. I've brought it up to our pediatrician multiple times and they just say it's a normal part of development. I don't want to shame her so we've discussed only doing it in private, etc but she continues to do it everywhere. At this point it is multiple times a day. While watching TV, drawing, playing, etc. I painted her nails and noticed that she is even getting callouses on her hands from having them in between her legs. I remind her to not touch and she will for a moment but then will resume. Or if she doesn't use her hands she will squeeze her legs together. I'm just at a loss on what to do to help her. I understand it's self soothing and not sexual but I just want to teach her what is appropriate and not. I'm going to look into counseling also but hoping moms had some input also. Thankfully her school hasn't mentioned anything so maybe it's just at home? Thanks for my rant.

My husband saw serious combat and has ptsd and TBI. He is a wonderful provider and father but often when he comes home from work he just starts drinking/smoking and snapping at the kids for every little thing. I find myself dreading when he comes home because I don’t know what kind of energy I’m going to have to absorb after dealing with toddlers all day. I am exhausted and feel I have to emotionally regulate for everyone else all the time. When I try to talk to him about his anger and impatient approach with the kids he denies it’s existence entirely and goes as far as to tell me how it is basically my fault he can’t regulate himself. I used to get angry and fight back but I don’t even have the energy anymore, I’m accepted that this is just what I’m dealing with. I’ve begged him to try therapy, join a club to make some friends, you name it and there is always an excuse why he can’t or won’t try any of these things. We are expecting our fourth and sometimes I think I really hate him but I have no way out, any suggestions?

Feeling a down, annoyed, and just wanted to vent/see if there was any advice for moving forward.

For context, my partner and I have been together for awhile and we recently had our first baby. I’ve been on decent terms with my MIL, in that I can tolerate her in moderation. However, since having a baby, I’ve been finding it more and more difficult to be around her. For one, after I gave birth and she came to visit at the hospital, one of the staff was helping me learn breastfeeding and she started recording. My partner asked her to stop, and she got annoyed and stormed off. She also told people about the baby’s private health matters without our permission. For another, even at two-weeks postpartum, when she came over, she had my partner buy dinner and clean up, instead of offering to bring something or help.

Also, since day one, she seems like she always looking for something to comment on, and it makes me feel like shit when I exert so much time and energy into raising a happy and healthy baby (which he is). For example, nearly every time I see her, she’s always making comments that our baby isn’t wearing enough layers, that his toys aren’t “interesting” enough, or that his food isn’t cut up enough. Tonight, when I was trying to feed him at the family dinner, she insisted that he needed to drink warm water. When I told her that cold water was fine, she followed me and watched him drink it. He fussed a little (as babies do) and she immediately said “see, it’s too cold!” I told her that I give the baby water at this temperature everyday and then she replied “well then what’s wrong??” I explained that “they’re a baby and sometimes they cry,” and she just snorted.

In addition to all of this, my MIL takes up a lot of my partner’s time. He’s constantly having to help her with tasks like grocery shopping, technology, and bills and even helped move her to a new apartment, which took over 4 months, all while I’m at home with the baby.

I try to politely stand my ground with her (e.g., “thanks for your concern, but he has a variety of toys.”) and my partner has spoken to her before basically asking her not to comment. Sometimes she does stop, but it usually doesn’t last long. At this point, I avoid seeing her because I often leave our interactions feeling frustrated, under-appreciated, and belittled. I don’t know what else to do and I’m also feeling a bit sad about this situation.

We live in a state that doesn't have super high gun ownership rates and has fairly strict gun laws, but current estimates say that between 20 and 25 percent of people in the state own a gun.

I worked for CPS and my husband is a police officer and we have both seen homes where guns aren't secured properly and sometimes that ends in tragedy. We have 4 kids (10F, 8M, 5F, 2F) and one of the main reasons we don't allow sleepovers at other houses (we offer to host) is guns. I don't trust that other people have their fire arms securely locked up. I usually ask, "Do you have any guns and are the properly secured?" if I am dropping my kid off at a playdate but that's still just trusting them to be honest and an irresponsible gun owner might not be honest.

And yes, we have talked to our kids about what to do if they encounter a gun. My husband doesn't even allow toy guns. I educate my kids but they are still kids. If a gun isn't secure and their friends get a hand on it, I don't know how my kids would react.

Note: My brother died at a sleepover when we were kids. It wasn't a gun related incident but I know that clouds my judgement on safety at sleepovers and I am in therapy for it. Our jobs obviously also affect our perception because we see the worst case scenario. I'm aware of that.

To the lovely man driving past who gave me a wide berth and a smile as I was walking with my son in his stroller, you're a legend. Thank you for making me feel safe near the road.

To the absolute cunt who swerved TOWARD ME AND MY SON IN A STROLLER you're a certified loser and I hope your dick catches fire. Wtf.

I can't tell if we're just in a hard spot or if my marriage is unhappy, but I find whenever my husband is home for any length of time I am dying for him to get back to work.

He throws us off of our routine. He literally just shoves candy and junk food into my toddlers mouth all day and then wonders why she's hyper and misbehaving. He will not take her outside unless I beg and whenever she's having tantrums, he makes it 10 times worse because he ends up having one himself bc he can't regulate emotions. My house is a mess. I seem to be the only one who knows how to clean it if I ask for help I get met with a teenage like attitude as if I'm ruining all the fun. He complains his back hurts bc the baby needs to be rocked and bounced all day but I legit do it 10+ hrs a day every day and don't get any sympathy.

Oh and he's soooooo tired from the baby waking up even though I am the one cosleeping and nursing all night. Honestly some days I wish I could just do it alone.

And on top of that he woke up with a man cold. The first thing he says to me is "do not make me clean today, we don't have to clean for one day" well guess who ends up parenting and cleaning all day ?? Umm yes you still have to parent and you do have to clean around kids, who is going to do the dishes? how are we going to cook? So annoyed.

I don’t even know what day it is.

But he’s blaming me for being exhausted after me and my 4 year old being sick (103 temp 3 days in a row) and still putting on an exceptional Christmas morning and then immediately packing to head over to his parents, spending the whole day there with zero fucking help because his parents are there to host, not to help.

My 1 year old Is going through a giant growth spurt so he’s adorably vocal but also going through the 2 to 1 nap regression.

We just got home after a whirlwind 24 hours w his parents and he wants me to immediately pack up so we can go to the mountains where we literally have NOTHING planned for the kids for a whopping 7 FU*^ING days!!!!

We do have friends coming up on the 30th (both my sets of friends because he doesn’t talk to any of his friends ever), but he’s pressuring me to unpack/repack to get us up there tmrw for no reason. As I’m trying to do that, on a whim, he decides to get a roof bin for the car, so of course that takes precedence over whatever I’m doing (unpacking, repacking, laundry, throwing away shit my MIL gave us “for the kids”).

I put on a show last night, I was soo warm, I stayed up late, I helped w the dishes, I put both kids to bed. He, did nothing, and at 8pm called the men out for a cigar.

He used to be a cigarette smoker, then a vaper, quit as a wedding present to me in 2018, and then immediately picked up cigars. He’s now smoking cigars from 9-11pm all day everyday. Yes, he sits outside during work hours smoking. It is absolutely foul and I feel that my affinity and respect for him is slowly dissipating.

Because his “hobby” is constantly keeping him outside of the house, I am constantly being kept inside the house to care for our two kids. That also leaves me to everyday tasks like picking up after them, doing laundry, putting them down for naps, dinner, etc.

So yea you POS I am tired. And when I tell him I’d rather wait a day or two to go up to the mountains (because I’m the one unpacking, repacking, washing, folding, etc etc), I’m the tired one, and have been for “three years”. Like I’m the problem. Like I didn’t give birth and feed these kids for the last 5 years, like, I want this extra 15 pounds on me.

And every time I get even the littlest bit testy with him he is beyond defensive to the point I just have to walk away.

I’m becoming numb to him and couldn’t care less whether he is present or not at this point.

My 4 year old recently got over a stomach virus. Ever since this stomach virus she has gotten into this crying thing. She normally never does this with me. My husband who is a firefighter is never really home. As soon as he is home she will cry to get out of things like brushing her teeth, eating dinner or bath time. To the point where she is whining and crying. She NEVER does this with me. It literally will begin the minute he walks in the door.
HE can nog handle a crying child and will become frustrated and lash out at me. He will say “I just can’t do this” and will become mad at me. How do I handle this? We have a baby at home too she is 10 months. How do I handle both of these emotions at home?

He’s over a year and a half now. My wife has a plan to go out with her siblings and wants me to come. Don’t get me wrong I’m not one of those moms that goes without a date night. It’s just that mother in law has this new boyfriend coming around and her behavior as a mother has changed a lot since he’s come around so I’m concerned. This is the grandmother my son doesn’t know all that well, she asked if she could have her boyfriend come and “watch the kids” with her. One of my sisters in law is only 6 (long story) but since this boyfriend came into the picture there have been “jokes” about “giving “sister in law to my wife and I.

Generally uncomfortable things. I’ve heard and it’s been proven that this boyfriend gets jealous of the attention my son gets from his grandma… I mean home is 12 hours away. We’re here for Christmas and leaving before new years.

I’m aware my MIL is in a toxic if not abusive relationship- I don’t know how to get over the anxiety I’m feeling right now.

I found myself typing out a wildly long backstory when I realized it really isn’t necessary for the type of input I’m looking for. I’m wanting to hear how everyone’s 2nd child differ from their 1st. My son just turned 2, and I honestly couldn’t brag on him any more. He’s extremely smart for his age, he’s independent, and really only “needs” me when he’s hungry or sick or wakes up scared. He’ll play by himself most of the day and be content, there may be a handful of times he’ll come to me and drag me to his room or the middle of the kitchen floor to play with him. He puts himself to sleep for 12-13 hours at night and 2 hours during the day. He really doesn’t get angry or upset (yet.)

He’s a bit socially awkward though - unfortunately that comes from my lack of being able to connect him with other children. We’re a 1 car household and not within walking distance of any public places, we stay at home all day. There’s no younger kids anywhere in either of our families. Our plan is to get a 2nd car at tax time, so hopefully soon I can start exposing him to other kids. 🤞

To sum everything up, my son is, in MY mind, the dream child. My biggest complaint I ever have of him is him wanting to be a picky eater sometimes. I’m coming here for input because we’re in the midst of a pregnancy scare. We aren’t actively trying, we don’t necessarily want another, but we know what we’re risking by having unprotected sex.

Anyone that I have ever talked to, or even reading stories in this sub alone, have said that the 2nd is opposite of the first. I have yet to find one person say that their 2nd didn’t give them a run for their money. Having a 2nd scares me in the sense of, what if they DO turn out to be completely opposite of my 1st? Not a good sleeper, not a good eater, a constant need for attention 24/7 (I know this is the case with all babies, I’m more so speaking into toddlers being attached at the hip/demanding.) I’m terrified that I won’t know how to handle a child that isn’t as well behaved as my 1st.

I feel the need to mention that even if my 2nd were to be opposite, I know at the end of the day they would still be loved and cared for. But I would be lying if I said I question my capability raising a problematic child. I’m trying my best to not offend anyone here or cause a raised eyebrow lol.

I am getting myself the hotel. Today I am booking three nights away for myself. I will be packing all of the gift cards I've received from my mom or coworkers over the years and held on to, waiting for sales or the things I need to go on clearance.... That's over. I'm using them all now in what will be a massive haul for all the things I've actually needed for years and never bought in an attempt to be a frugal and non-demanding wife. I will buy myself sunglasses that actually shield the sun, a proper bra to wear to work, home shoes that will help my back... And finally that golden locket that I asked for 4 years ago for my first Mother's Day.

Yesterday while I was cooking Christmas dinner, my husband was practically jerking himself off talking about his stock portfolio. So I'll be taking his credit card to do all this.

From now on I will celebrate myself. I will buy my own gifts and put them under the tree with "from Santa" on them until kiddo is older and then will write: "To Mama, from Mama" so she knows her dad did jack all.

I think this Christmas the real gift is learning to give myself permission to exist and be celebrated and I hope all of you who weren't celebrated this year find the strength to do the same.

Baby wakes up every 30 mins

Hi mommies, my baby girl is 3.5 months old. In the afternoon her nap time is 30 mins max 45 mins and then she wakes up and ask for breastfeeding again and sleeps while nursing. Then she will again wake up after short nap. She hardly naps for 1hr or 2hrs in daytime which she used to earlier. Please suggest how to increase her nap time as it is becoming very exhausting for me.