So I've just been diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease). It's 100% fatal. You end up totally paralyzed, can't talk, can't eat, you end up dying because you can't breathe.

I have a 19 year old severely handicapped son - quadriplegic cerebral palsy, partially blind, tube fed, can't walk, talk or do anything physically, profoundly cognitively delayed.

I'm only 54 years old (F). This is some fucking bullshit. My advice: get up and get your shit done now so you can be somewhat happy because you never know what's in store.

ETA: I forgot to add that I have always had (often severe) depression and adhd with a some laziness and overwhelm thrown in. I wish I had done more to combat it while I had the chance.

I have completely quit the following bad habits:

1. Drinking – 8 months ago
2. Smoking – 1 month ago
3. Playing video games – 1 month ago

Additionally, I don't eat junk food or consume added sugar.

In the last few days, I have been trying to build some new habits mentioned in the image. For the most part, I am meeting the targets I set for myself. However, I am falling behind in two areas: reducing my mobile use time to below 4 hours and investing time in skill development. I tend to procrastinate when it comes to learning new skills, like becoming fluent in a foreign language or acquiring computer skills.

As I am self-employed and only work 4-5 hours a day, I have a lot of free time. I want to use my time more productively to improve my life. I need guidance on these issues.

I also have a few more questions: How can I handle stress without smoking? How can I avoid getting bored after quitting all sorts of dopamine sources, like playing games? I would like to hear your personal experience if you have succeeded in overcoming these situations.

i did all the normal life things. went to college. worked at google then amazon. went out to events and made a bunch of friends. stayed relatively active (have 3 ACL reconstructions but i work out 4-5x a week and go hiking 3x a week). got married.

but around 28 i started to feel burned out of everything and now it’s a struggle to do anything. got divorced. got laid off. stopped hanging out with my friends. i still go to the gym and hike but i’m forcing myself to do it. the only thing i really enjoy doing now is playing magic the gathering every friday with a couple of friends.

i’m not upset about divorce/getting laid off. those things happened because i just couldn’t keep going.

i don’t want my life to continue downhill but i also don’t know how to get my drive back.

for those in your 30s, how do you keep going?

I always did well academically and in my early career days I used to have what feels like infinite drive & motivation. Even maybe a little too much hustle sometimes, I would work part time when I was in uni, even though I didn’t need to. I worked crazy hours my first job, I even slept under my desk in a sleeping bag once - I cared so deeply and worked so intensely. I had big dreams.

I’m now in my early 30s, I have a good career, I recently bought a house, yay. I have a good relationship with my SO. Nothing to scoff at but my motivation is not what it was.

One could say maybe I’ve grown complacent but I wake up everyday and that intense drive and motivation I had back then, it’s now just a dim light. I feel like I’ve lost that person in me and I want to be as driven and motivated and engaged as I was back then. Maybe a little less intense but you get the idea.

My dreams have changed too. I used to aspire to want to be a designer, something exciting like fashion or something. Now I just work a cushy management job in marketing.

I guess I’m a little lost and need some motivation.

I’ve been unemployed for a few years now, due to anxiety and depression that’s kept me paralyzed in almost all aspects of my life, from work to my relationships. The woman I thought I was going to spend my life with is gone because I can’t get my act together. It has completely destroyed me. I've never been so heartbroken in my life, I am just in so much pain. I can’t find work. I’m in therapy, which is helping to a degree, but I still feel utterly hopeless.

All of my friends are either married or in long-term relationships, with great careers, houses, pets, ect. I feel so behind in life. I feel so lost. I’m really struggling to find the motivation to turn my life around. I just feel like I’ve wasted so much time and have nothing to show for it. I’m worried I’m going to be alone forever.

After the breakup a few months ago, I spent my time trying to better myself, exercising, getting better sleep, going to therapy, all in an effort to “win” my girlfriend back. I met with her last night and she made it pretty clear that won’t be happening. I’m completely devastated. It’s been a huge blow to my confidence, and I feel like I’m back at square one.

I hate being this age and having absolutely nothing. No prospects. No money. No resume. No relationship. I feel like I've fucked my whole life up.

I guess I’m just looking for some words of encouragement, or wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation. I’ve never felt so defeated and lost in my entire life.

Update edit 2:

The majority of you all made it clear that finding a job you're passionate about is rare and that most folk just work a job they can tolerate.

So my new updated question is as such:

How do I find a job I CAN tolerate when I have 0 direction?

I have no inclination of any position I'd be passable at enough to earn a better wage. I don't know what any of my skills are, if I even have any, and no clue where to even start looking for a new job.

How do people decide on a job when they have no noticable skills or any notion of something they may be good at?

Thank you for all the advice on the last post.and any new advice here

ORIGINAL QUESTION: How did all of you choose your current job/career?

I've struggled my whole adult life not knowing where my passions lie and what I enjoy doing or what I'm good at. I was always told "you have time" but that led to noting but stagnation and job hopping from part time job to part time job.

I'm sick of bouncing around from job to job, but for the life of me I cant think of anything I would enjoy doing or be good at. Hell, just getting out of bed some mornings takes all my strength, let alone trying to find a career.

The thought of working 40 hours a week, even at something I enjoy sounds exhausting and demoralizing.

I've tried

retail (5+ years)

working BOH in restaurants (3+ years)

Working in a casino (1 year)

Working for a pack and ship store (3 years)

working in entry level tech (3 years)

Even the jobs ive been most excited about slowly kill me. My current and most recent job is Geek Squad. Ive not gotten more ta a 5 cent raise in the three years ive been there whereas the tech hred after me STARTED at a wage $2 an hour higher and works the same ammount of hours and does the same effort of work.

Ive tried taking aptitude tests and all my results keep coming back with high end jbs that require 6+ years schooling and masters degrees.

I just feel so lost and like a fucked up my whole life by never owing what I wanted or even having a vague plan. Everyone I went to high school with knew from 11th grade what they wanted to do and are all married and homeowners. Honestly if it werent for how sad it would make my family I'd just let myself waste away homeless on the street's. Id e less of a financial burden that way

I cant to physical labor because im chronically ill

I cant get any thinking jobs because Im a stupid moron with no degree.

How do I decide on a career when I have no passion for anything.

What do I do?

EDIT:

Id like to add that I don't think going back to college is possible

I cant really afford to drop one of the jobs to attend, I'm just barely getting by working both so dropping one would be a financial hit and then the cost of college...

Im disqualified from financial aid at my local community college because I took too many classes trying to figure out what I enjoy and now have an excess of units attempted and am not meeting "satisfactory academic progress" and thus lost financial aid eligibility

I want to hear about the kinda mean but true thing someone said to you that shocked you into gear.

Sometimes nice and cute motivational quotes or even the ‘you’ll regret this later’ anti procrastination quotes don’t work. So comment the ruthless piece of advice someone gave you that really made you realise you had to start now.

What is THE ONE advice?

EDIT: I LOVE your answers! Thank you for your contribution.

K

Trying to implement some new healthy habits

Is there really any hope for a loser? How do you solve your career problems? Mental problems? Emotional problems ? Relational problems? Middle aged and completely lost

In my early childhood, my father told me, "We talk to each other eye to eye. Don't do anything that will make you shy away from talking eye to eye." It's the most important thing I learned from my father, and it makes me the most proud of.

What's your?

I feel like I'm the reason it all happened. None of this is ever one-sided. I have autism, emotional connection has always been hard, and conversing isn't my strongest thing, and my wife has felt lonely. She's talking to other people, she went on at least one date... where I found out because I took my kids to a PTA event and one of the parents there confronted me about my wife "having an intimate conversation" when she saw them earlier that day; I was under the impression she was driving to her sister's out of town. Nine years together, two wonderful children... and now everything just feels like utter heartache.

So with that background aside, I tried to give myself goals, and some are tangible, but others... f if I can ever mark them as "complete." I will put my existing list, recognizing I don't know wtf I'm doing at this point, physically nor emotionally: I have heard the term emotional roller coaster before, but my goodness the ups and downs feel like they rip your heart right out of your chest.

• Get financial advisor
• Get counsellor
• Dress like you want to dress
• Find a hobby that isn't just stress relief (Maybe try working out? Like legit... take care of your health)
• Sing
• Better hygiene (stress sweating is a problem)
• Be kind
• Be present
• Learn to love yourself
• Keep trying to self-reflect... bad things happened, but you don't have to wallow
• Don't be afraid to try something new
• Figure out what a support system is and find your own
• Be mindful of her feelings

I feel so dumb, I already paid the monthly membership but I just cannot make myself go to the gym. Today I ate a burger so I think what's the point? Maybe tomorrow when I eat cleaner... and so there goes almost a month of dreading it. I also struggle with depression so... how do you manage to not get unmotivated?

Of any genre! What do like about it?

I feel like I'm a complete wreck. I'm in my 30s and I spend most of my day on the PC gaming or not doing much. I try to get out walking at least 5 times a week but other than that I only get out for groceries. I'm currently finishing my 3rd year of a business diploma but I suck at it... I feel really lost. I don't have many friends anymore. I had a lot growing up but I just stopped going to things in my 20s amd really fucked up all my relationships... I really wish I had some friends.. i also am trying to find a job but haven't been able to yet. I'm living with a girl atm too from India which is tough at times... I dunno. We split everything and I'm running on savings... I really am struggling to get ahead or move forward... I don't know wtf to do anymore. Trying to move slowly forward but at times it's all too much. My course isn't super satisfying either really... i dunno. Any advice or success stories would be cool...

I've noticed many people here don't feel motivated due to severe anxiety.

This seems to be an ever increasing issue in society as well.

For those suffering from it, what do you think is the root cause?

Hey everyone! 👋 I really want to get motivated these days so I've been reflecting a lot lately on the different pieces of advice I've received over the years. Some have been life-changing, while others have been simple yet profound. It got me curious about the experiences of others in this community. I really want to become better and I would love to know what's the best piece of advice you've ever received? It could be something that changed your perspective, helped you through tough times, or just something that sticks with you for its simplicity and truth. Looking forward to hearing your stories and learning from them!

It can be any book: self help/ biography/ fiction/ non fiction etc. etc.

So, a lot has been going on lately in my life, and one of them is getting a new job as an international student, not to mention the research position at my university AND my regular classes AND gym AND Guitar practice. Balancing these things has become so cumbersome that some days I just want to be left alone without talking to anyone. But something miraculous happened when I started waking up at 5:30 in the morning.

At the start, it was really difficult and made me miserable. I snoozed my alarm a lot of times, which resulted in me missing my buses and trains, which had a chain reaction of me getting late for work and having some issues with my job.

Recently, I went to the bookstore and laid my eyes on the book Morning Miracle, which said that the author changed his life after getting up just half an hour earlier than usual, so copying his method, I did the same.

I got up at 5:30 sharp, and followed the following schedule:

1. 5 minutes of journaling
2. 5 minutes of drinking water, in peace
3. 5 minutes of meditation
4. 5 minutes of push-ups
5. 5 minutes of looking at vision board

I found that after following these basic habits for 21 days straight, I got my performance in my job to a new f**g level—not exaggerating. When I walk down the aisle, I feel as if I have taken compound V. I can feel the air hitting my face differently, and I am more focused and have the mental stamina to go through my day and still have energy for myself, I tried to rationalize this by stating that this is the placebo effect, but no, things have been *ACTUALLY* different for me.

Starting your day in the solitude best assed in the morning will help you retain the focus you need to optimize your daily tasks

A special mention I would like to give to mindfulness practice: I used to get overwhelmed easily, and my mind would do a mental throw-up after my job. I eventually had no time left for people who actually mattered to me, and my relationships would suffer. I have observed that:

After meditating, I can take tasks one by one, instead of juggling between several ones, which significantly drains out your mental capacity. My focus remains on the thing I am currently doing and the rest fades away

The first thing you should be doing in the morning is controlling your cortisol, the fear hormone, which is a significant contributor to mental fatigue- To control this, do the following:

Reflect on your present blessings — every man has many- State down 3 things you are grateful for and practice solitude

After you’re done with this, embrace the elephant in the room and write down the most important task you want to finish, followed by others in descending order of importance, This will help you finish the tasks which contribute to 80% of the outcome while minimizing low-priority and fulfilling tasks which could have been finished with a little mental capacity and focus

Finally, give some time to outline and work on things that can help you increase your current knowledge related to your work or life, because hey, no one is a loser when they continuously improve themselves and learn a thing or two every day. Besides, if you do get a professional online certification, there will be a sweet promotion waiting for you at the end of the current year!

Aim to sleep till 10 p.m so that you can start your day at 5 or 5:30, This practice will help you take advantage of the solitude and tranquility of mornings to optimize your body, soul and mind

Just hypothetically speaking, what would you do?

EDIT: There's a badass in the comments that texted his crush last night how much he liked her. If you read this, please do something about your own luck and start rolling. We ain't getting younger. Today is the day to start!

Show me Your Creativity Guys

Reflecting on your journey, which daily habits or routines stand out as the game-changers? These are the little things you do consistently that have truly sculpted your life's path. What comes to mind?

From your experience!