r/GetMotivated • u/paigesnowwret • 3d ago
DISCUSSION [discussion] what motivates you to go from being a shut in / hiding away to wanting to try new things and be ambitious/ adventerous?
what motivates you to be adventurous?
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u/AntNo4173 3d ago
I can't address your question since I have no experience on the matter. But there's a great book "The Courage to be Disliked", great book with misleading title, where 1 entire chapter is dedicated to shutins; but one needs to read the whole book for that chapter to make sense.
Good luck.
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u/freakytapir 3d ago
Positive feedback loops.
I went outside => it was fun => I'll do it again.
Sometimes you might just need someone to drag you outside.
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u/wildcactusbloom 2d ago
This is probably the best answer here!
Waiting for the motivation will have you waiting forever. Do the scary thing even if you don't feel like it. Maybe you'll realize it isn't so bad after all
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u/freakytapir 2d ago
This is just me literally every Time.Catastrophising a social event and then having fun once I am there.
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u/wildcactusbloom 2d ago
Me too! I finally met up with someone from a dating app in person for the first time last week. I was worried sick about it all week long. but I went anyways. And it went so good... I drove home feeling amazing. Now, my second time doesn't feel nearly as intimidating.
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u/jonas00345 2d ago
I have stage 4 cancer and will die. When I got told that, my perspective changed in about a minute. Omg, when you get told you almost certainly will die, this stuff you mention dissappear so quickly.
I don't want no pity, I'm just trying to help you, maybe you will appreciate how rare and special life is.
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u/endlessincoherence 2d ago
Realizing there is no later. I had to do athletic stuff in my prime. I have to be in the best shape of my life now because over half my life is over.
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u/JMayMoneytown 3d ago
A friend always helps .. a crush is even better, haha. But people - the kind that make me laugh and feel good always get me out (and I actually adore my hermit/solitude time, it's not hiding for me but nourishment)
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u/SilentRaindrops 3d ago
Start with a short photography class some offered by park districts or community colleges where they take you to places to photograph prescribed sites and scenes. In one city there was a class with everyone taking pictures of a street with a great sunset at the end framed by the skyscrapers. I also found unique tours got me out like the walking haunted city tours. If you like bike riding check in with your local bike shop to see if there any biking groups or tours. Another fun activity is scavenger hunts.
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u/Zeebrasurfer 2d ago
The fear of dying. I only get to remember one rind on the soul-y-go-round. I need to cram as much lived experience through these eyes as possible
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u/Adventurous-Pass1897 2d ago
Fasting. When you're fully fed your brain shuts down all of the seeking of novelty and work as you don't need it to survive.
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u/Entrnch3d_fooT 2d ago
My bottled up anxiety did. Got to the point where reclusive living drove me near insane. Starting out with morning walks and realized sedentary life/isolation was the root cause of it all. I see anxiety as an instinctual tool nowadays that tells me I need to get in motion and do something. Wasn't easy at first.
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u/iwannabethisguy 2d ago
Money.
I'd be more out there than in here if the things I wanted to do didn't cost so much.
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u/HavocFistedTitan 3d ago
Eating tons of butter and beef. And no, I'm not kidding. Give it a try for a few days and see how you feel.
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u/Agile_Scarcity_5115 2d ago
Wait what
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u/HavocFistedTitan 2d ago
Of course it's my own experience and I don't know the full mechanics of it. But if I eat good quality meats and butter more, there is a palpable shift in my outlook and perspective. More optimistic, hopeful, calm, and courageous.
You don't have to believe me, but when all mental approaches fail, it doesn't hurt to try a physical one no?
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u/Denderian 2d ago
Did you by chance mean lean protein? Some people need that in winter to feel grounded.
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u/Shimmer_Soul_ 2d ago
Antidepressants 😂
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u/Denderian 2d ago
I'm full on a believer of the herbal route, including using natural Anxiolytics
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u/Shimmer_Soul_ 2d ago
Which herbals are anxiolytic? I don’t struggle with anxiety like I do with depression, but I’d love to know what is available.
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u/Denderian 2d ago edited 2d ago
Mostly I take Ashwaghanda since some of the other ones sometimes make me feel sleepy, but there is also Holy Basil (Tulsi), Damiana, Passion Flower, Skullcap, Lemonbalm, Valerian, Lavender, and Kava, to name a few.
My favorite other ones of those are Damiana and Tulsi, but each person is different with regards to which ones they truly prefer I've noticed. I've had different coworkers and family who each separately preferred Chamomile, Passionflower, Skullcap, and Valerian for example, even during the day, but usually not my preference (I prefer those ones before bed if / when I take them).
I also take vitamin D3 and Saffron (just a few petals on the tongue) for the emotional uplifting aspects as well as eat dark chocolate daily and occasionally drink half a cup of coffee or mate or kombucha when needing to socialize or work. Sometimes a little CBD can help. Then there is Rhodiola Rosea and Eleuthero for depression in addition to the Saffron. I started joking with people lately that I'm just over here alchemizing my body 😆 nothing special, lol.
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u/Visual-Ad-7748 1d ago
Myself eventually realizing that I can't make any impact on the world or achieving any of the things I want if I go outside.
Fear of failure is the ultimate cause of me being turned away, and when I started trying out new things, I also had to learn to get used to failure. The nature of trying out new things - you're like a scientist with a hypothesis doing experiments to prove or disprove your hypothesis. You don't know what the outcome on the world will be, but you can test to prove whether the outcome is good or bad. The good news is now you know what's bad, which you can reiterate till you get it right.
I did this over and over for all aspects of life, and grew to be more adventurous. Hope this helps!
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u/bpanio 1d ago
Being broke all of the time is the biggest factor when it comes to wanting to stay in. I have to pay $50 for gas every 3 days just to get to work so that's a huge chunk of money right there. I also live pretty far away from the city where most stuff is happening so that's more gas. So even if the event is free, I have to consider the cost in fuel and mileage.
Thankfully, I'm moving to the city in a month so I'll be able to cut that expense more than in half which will motivate me to get out
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u/iwishihadnobones 15h ago
Do or don't, my friend. The universe does not care either way. If you choose to be a shut in, that's fine. If you choose to go outside, that's fine.
But just remember that it's YOUR choice either way. But it sounds like you feel anxious about not going out when staying in. But also anxious about going out. Its scary! Congratulations! - You're anxious either way! No decision is anxiety free.
Either way you'll be home and back in bed by tonight. How do you want to have spent your day by the time you're drifting off to sleep tonight?
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u/outoftownMD 3d ago edited 1d ago
If you are having trouble answering that question, I’d suggest you examine what motivates you to be shut in?
I personally find that the world is a playground to explore, and there is so much wonder and all that can be found by getting out and exploring it. Meeting people is a gift. Trying new things makes you grow. I keep thinking that the strongest human is one who is adaptable. If they are put in one environment or situation, they are able to address it And meet it, not evading or avoiding it. And then, if another environment arises, are able to adapt to that as well.
You discover who you are to a greater degree by going further, and then when you do choose to be in, it is not because you are avoiding the world, it is because you are taking temporary respite. Too much comfort blunts a human from existence and life is a temporary gift. That is reason enough to go seek adventure .