Edit: These comments have been amazingly heartfelt. I didn't expect to get teary-eyed from so many kind words.
I appreciate yall. Sometimes the mind plays tricks on us, so reading these genuine comments means a lot and really made my day. Amazing motivation to wake up to.
Often times, sharing your current “war” can actually slow your process. If it’s head down focus, it’s easier to maintain. Doesn’t mean your s/o or family can’t ask and you be honest about it, just don’t go on Facebook and talk about your 3 lbs lost.
Yeah I learned about this years ago and it describes so much of my self defeating tendencies. Even in my own head. Then comes the fear that I wont live up to the accomplishments I've already promised myself.
Yeah this is a good mindset, thank you.
Also doing a lot of work around general mindfulness. If I can find joy and accomplishment with my work her and now that’s what really matters.
Any future tripping or past regrets just take away from that. Of course it’s easier said than done, but it’s like you said, always a work in progress
Absolutely. I have a dramatic past and I've moved forward. We are human and even when we tell ourselves that life is about the experience, that we need to cherish the moment. We will have feelings and it's never easy. But resonating with your thoughts gets you through. You have to be strong, hopeful of the future and cherish moments. Way easier said than done.
Speak for yourself. I have my own wars I will never talk about out loud for a myriad of reasons. No one here is saying you can't talk about your own wars though. Where in this quote did it mention that? Where exactly did it say not to share your war? Where exactly huh?
Who is saying it’s noble or for purposes of bravado? It’s done for many reasons, none of which are as you depict. Shame, self preservation, lack of skills to share, lack of trusted people to share with and many other deeply personal reasons. I commend you being one of the apparent lucky ones to not have experienced this though.
Exactly. Sometimes our "war" is working on past trauma and it's not something we want to talk about outside of maybe therapy. Sometimes the war involves a daily battle where you just wish you could NOT think about the thing for one damn day. Or have a happy moment without your brain being like "hey bro, remember that horrible thing that happened? No time to be happy!' Also people may not understand your struggle and if talking about it makes you feel like you're reliving it, you may keep it quiet.
Obviously it doesn't need to be that deep, as others have pointed out, but it's definitely a reason we may be fighting a war we tell (almost) no one about.
Its just a straight up fact that big part dont tell about their wars because they are embarrassed about the war itself/dont want other people to know In Case they fail etc etc.
You are free to share your wars to the world.
Stop putting People down ,Who doesnt want to share their war, with your mocking words
I saw it more as a personal struggle that you win. Not that we should never talk about our struggles, but some people just prefer not to talk about things and this card is still rooting for them.
Clearly, you've never had to deal with anything you had to learn the hard way was better to keep to yourself. Hopefully, you never have to and can keep on invalidating everyone else.
There are personal battles I've shared with many. I can think of two that I'm struggling with right now that I don't want to share. Sometimes in life there are things we keep to our chest. This quote is for those times.
Sharing what you are really going through can be defeating. Most people in this world DO NOT CARE about your problems, and what's more, feel put upon or burdened when hearing them. We all have our own shit, and we don't need each other's.
If you want to be even semi-successful, then you have to put on a mask for the world to see—
Big smile, friendly attitude, treat every obstacle as a new challenge that will only serve to help you grow in the long run... It does not matter that you are fighting hard, struggling, and doing your best each and every. single. day., what matters is that you appear to be pleasant to be around.
If you don't believe me, then consider this:
What is the appropriate response to, "Hey, how's it going?"
The only acceptable answer is some form of, "Good.", "Fine.", "Not bad.", etc.
Because talking about it keeps you in the past. The more people you share it with the more you have to talk about it. And it's never talking about the now, it's talking about the then and the movement you've made.
The thought of opening up and telling someone important to me gives me way too much anxiety. I am ashamed of myself for letting myself go in the first place. I project that onto others, in that I assume they will shame me too. So I remain silent.
I also think maybe this is referring to the likelihood that we all carry inner battles that maybe aren’t ever shared with others. Not that they shouldn’t be shared, per se. And maybe this doesn’t feel like it applies to some, but it certainly applies to many.
What I think it means It's not that you can't tell anyone about the war you're facing. It means "I hope you win the war you don't want to tell anyone about" You won't tell as in maybe you would feel embarrassed/ashamed about it. Maybe you're afraid of being judged.
Oh shit. Sobriety huh? No, I feel you. Just not quite there yet myself.
I Have not been able to cut back but I've started stretching before shots. It hasn't really improved the experience at all but I do feel better about myself.
Thank you for your words. Its very hard sometimes. I keep telling myself if I mess up, try again tomorrow. Keep trying that's the key. You stumble and fall, pick yourself back up and try again.
Hey fellow sobernaut. I'm at week 11, personally. Feeling really great. I'm proud of you, let's keep it going, never forget the despair we felt at our lowest, no matter how much time passes-- we could always get dragged back if we aren't vigilant.
It’s so easy to forget how shit our substance made us feel. For me it’s easy to forget how terrible it is to go through every day with a hangover or drunk (to chase away the hangover). Just hit 3 months myself! Not my longest but all the same I’m proud of both of us.
588
u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23 edited Apr 06 '23
Everyday. Winning it sober, too.
Edit: These comments have been amazingly heartfelt. I didn't expect to get teary-eyed from so many kind words.
I appreciate yall. Sometimes the mind plays tricks on us, so reading these genuine comments means a lot and really made my day. Amazing motivation to wake up to.