I am so sad

[u/DrFredz]

I am just so sad. In short, I saved up all my life and sacrificed everything I could until the age of 38 and opened a restaurant right before COVID hit. Long story short, restaurant is sold at a major loss, life savings gone and I just put up my family home for sale to pay off my debts, will be renting because my credit is shot. Will have to take my autistic son out of his private school and put him in a crappy public school. Marriage took a major hit and I’m not sure if we’ll come out of it ok. I’m out of a job and feel like I can’t work anymore, yet I cannot afford even a week without any income.

I’ve been crying all day and I can’t stop. I’m so sad my heart physically aches. I can’t sleep and cannot hold back my tears and sadness. I know everyone will say stuff like “stay strong” and “it’ll get better” or “there are others that have it worse”, but for me, since the age of 16, I have dedicated every second of every day, made so many sacrifices and suffered so much to get somewhere where I could lead a good life and leave something good for my kids when I’m gone, only to end up with such an outcome. I am destroyed and hurting so much.

I lost hope. I was always positive even when times were hard. I always believed hard work and sacrifices will eventually pay off. I always believed that if I do good I will eventually reap the benefits. I have always tried to be kind, generous, helpful and compassionate with everyone I encountered, no matter who they were. I was religious and believed I will be rewarded for my efforts. I was wrong all along and it really really really hurts to hit the wall and find out all of it was in vain.

I’m not sure what I’m looking for by posting this but I hope to feel even a little better after putting it out there. Thanks for reading me and good luck to everyone out there, life is unfair and cruel.

[u/[deleted]]

My heart aches. I can say things will get better. Don't give up hope. I will ask you this though What are you doing right now? Are you working in a restaurant? Can you do side work? Example can you do a food cart or cook in someone's home? I do not know where you live and I do not know the laws. I am just trying to feel out ways that you might be able to bounce back.

[u/DrFredz → u/[deleted]]

Right now I’m still operating the restaurant but it will be closing in about 1.5 months. After that, I have no idea what I will be doing. At this moment I feel completely paralyzed and just going through the motions. I am so sad and so out of strength I can barely think.

[u/[deleted] → u/DrFredz]

Can you do banquets or cook in people's homes for special occasions? Something that will still generate income? I get it. I understand. I am just trying to give you ideas.

[u/DrFredz → u/[deleted]]

It actually is a possibility that I will eventually explore. Thank you so much for taking the time to write and help me, I appreciate it more than words can say.

[u/[deleted] → u/DrFredz]

I get it. Take care.