r/stopdrinking • u/Federal-Ask1617 1837 days • 1d ago

Got rejected tonight

Hey folks, I’ll keep it brief here. Hoping someone can relate to it maybe. Before I got sober I struggled with being able to confront people or topics that are a bit touchy, unless under the influence. Be that with women, or be that with my parents or whatnot. That went for everything besides work. My business revolves around rejection ironically enough. But, being rejected in my business never made me subconsciously question my self worth I guess. Anyways, point is - emotions, communication… all of it was a struggle unless intoxicated. Of course the intoxication lead to the numbing of “feelings” and would allow me to be “brave” enough to say whatever I “wanted” to say. Granted, it lead to mostly bad things.

So, after five years, I’ve been slowly building myself up to doing things sober and boy has it been tough but worth it. Be that dancing in a club all the way to asking a women out. Today, I asked someone out that I liked but was unsure if she liked me back.

She rejected me …. It sucked, and it stung a bit, but I did it. Sober. Didn’t need a drink to ask her out. Didn’t need a drink to numb the emotions of being rejected. And I didn’t lash out in drunken anger neither. Kept it polite and all…

I don’t know why, but it feels like a win…… but I should be sad? lol. Maybe I am a bit sad that I got rejected but I’m also kinda happy I was able to do that. I mean I’ve dated in the last five years so it’s not the first time I’ve asked someone out and got rejected sober. But it’s the first time I really stopped and realized that I did that… sober.

Alright hope that helps someone and if not… thanks for listening and allowing me to vent. And of course, thank you everyone for keeping me sober tonight.

Iwndwyt

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u/stealer_of_cookies 655 days 1d ago

Total win! Alcohol and drinking represented my inability to face difficult emotions, so to me the outcome is secondary sometimes to knowing that I did the right thing the proper way. Like the adult I should be and am finally realizing. So be proud of yourself, I am proud of you!

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u/Federal-Ask1617 1837 days 1d ago

Thanks , I could relate to this completely. Spot on. It’s like there is a way…. To feel and deal with it? Who would’ve thought ! lol. Thanks for being proud of me. I’m also proud of you!