First Time Posting.

[u/alliebeelove]

This is my first time posting here. I’ve looked at this sub before but always thought that I was ok to keep drinking a little. But last night was the last straw for me. I drank far too much and don’t remember the night ending. My husband said I was cruel and demeaning. He said I said some really mean stuff (stuff I don’t even actually feel). I’m just so sad. I had such a great time with family and my drinking ruined the night and today. I’m so ashamed. I thought posting here might help me really start this journey. Day 1…

[u/Wanttobebetter76]

One of many reasons I can't drink is the mean and terrible shit I say while drunk that I literally don't know where my brain found it, because I don't mean it at all. I'm glad you're here. IWNDWYT 💜

[u/alliebeelove → u/Wanttobebetter76]

That’s the scariest part of it all. I don’t know where it comes from because I literally don’t think that at all. I hate how mean I can be when I drink, I don’t like the version of me. I’m so glad I posted this today. It’s really helping me validate that this is the right path. Thank you for your comment!

[u/Wanttobebetter76 → u/alliebeelove]

Absolutely! I used to type the mean shit in text messages, so the evidence was there the next day. And I would be shocked by the things I had typed because I actively did not agree with or feel the fucked up things I would type. I'm glad you posted, too. This community and the people in it are so wonderful, and they/it are helping me save my life one day at a time.

[u/MyBestCuratedLife → u/Wanttobebetter76]

That is how cunning, baffling, and powerful alcoholism is! It makes us say things that aren’t true. Like, where does that come from? I do think that anyone who has a partner who is not an alcoholic can benefit from al anon. Being in a relationship with us is crazy! Counseling is great too, but al anon is free and often a lot more available. Good luck friend, today’s a new day!