r/stopdrinking • u/stupre1972 468 days • 1d ago

Sobriety - a cautionary tale

460 odd days ago, I stopped drinking.

460 odd days ago, my wife lost her drinking partner.

Directly or indirectly, so did her parents, my sister, brother in law and a number of friends.

Today, we have had a get together of 10 of us and what would have been a very boozy get together (historically double figure bottles of wine plus various other) has been a very gentle affair where the grand total is 2 bottles of wine and a half dozen bottles of beer.

All of that because I stopped and others followed....

So a word of caution - your (and my) sobriety can have positive effects way beyond your own little world.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the sub, I raise a glass (of hot chocolate in my case) and salute you all - Be you on day 1 or day 1000 - and say once more IWNDWYT

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u/full_bl33d 1818 days 1d ago

I’ve heard sobriety can be contagious. That was the case for me as well. Sobriety worked better as a program of attraction rather than promotion. There wasn’t much anyone could tell me when I was drinking but I saw what it looked like on a couple sober friends. It put a bug in my ear and eventually I wanted what they had so I started doing what they did. Staying active and involved in my own recovery helped get my wife started to work on some things as well. After some time in sobriety myself, I started to see some books on her side of the bed. She’s a mind boggling normal drinker but she still wanted to do some work and I’m eternally grateful she got involved with alanon. It helps with everything, not just the booze stuff with me. I know she doesn’t take that step if I don’t do my own work so I keep chipping away.

Ive had some conversations with neighborhood dads and some family members about their own struggles with alcohol, mostly to listen. I like being there. I never expected I would be the one to talk to about this shit but I like it. But I also know there ain’t much I can say. The best way for me to help someone who is struggling or thinking about their own relationship with alcohol is to work on my own sobriety. Countless people have helped me that I’ve never spoken a word to. I saw them walk the walk and that’s saying more than enough. Keep it up and good work

40

u/Tough_Got_Going 363 days 1d ago

what's the saying - "show me, don't tell me" - very powerful

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u/SauerkrautHedonists 78 days 1d ago

I❤️your response. Powerful.

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u/Old-Celebration-733 1d ago

Sobriety…..a program of attraction rather than promotion.

Love that!

2

u/Sweetnessnease22 11 days 14h ago

Profound. People are attracted to the ability to live for yourself, to go “against the trend” which is just a sales job.

3

u/NetworkStrange1945 77 days 10h ago

I found a phrase here I quite like. Be a lighthouse, not a tugboat. And it's particularly apt for sobriety. You can't force people to get sober but you can show them a glimpse of life on the other side

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u/full_bl33d 1818 days 9h ago

I like that. A friend of mine likes to say that all recovery people can be beacons or warnings and both are extremely useful. Plenty of people have shown me exactly what I do not want my sobriety to look like and for that, I am grateful. The same sentiment basically extends to all of humanity. I like all these nautical references tho. Maybe get a calendar or something going here. Salty recovery