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u/Plastic_Ad_2142 21h ago
His kid, his problem. He can find someone else to watch her. If you weren’t there, he would have no choice but to hire a babysitter or find family to look after her. Just tell him you have plans and you can’t watch her.
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u/-koka 21h ago
Same same same same same same! My ss6 refuses to do shit by himself too and it’s enabled by bio family. I feel like I’m walking on egg shells too because he has recently started to be mean towards me, not listening to me, telling me to be quiet, moving me whenever he sees me cuddled up with his mother and she allows it. Whenever he does this I literally just move out the way because he moves me so much to be next to her I get uncomfortable and of course she isn’t going to tell him I deserve comfort and space too. It’s why are you moving everytime he comes? You’re fucked up. I’m so exhausted. I don’t want to watch him anymore either because he doesn’t listen to the literal basic direction I give like go throw your plate away. I’m tired.
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u/cadessshonda 20h ago
I do things for my daughter still but she at least tries to do everything herself when she can’t she will ask for help, his daughter needs help with everything!! We will be in the room talking or in the kitchen she will yell DAD !!! When she’s over for the weekend I get anxiety because she makes a mess of everything! Especially at the table crumbs everywhere she wants the tv on !!! As soon as she doesn’t get her way she starts saying I want to go to my moms !! She says that because I’m asking her to put away things or clean as you.
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u/-koka 20h ago
No let me tell you what happened after Christmas that pissed me off. This kid got a shit ton of presents so much that she didn’t allow him to open anymore because we were both overwhelmed with starting all the toys setting them up cleaning up all the boxes and card board and then him moving to a new toy to set up when he was done this went off for hours until I was tired because I was literally the one doing the volcano, the robot, the train track, setting up the VR. I was tired. The next day, we had to move a bunch of shit in public storage because her cousin decided it’s a great idea to move out a day after Christmas. We got home and we were both tired from moving shit but she promised he could open another toy the next day so she told him to open one while she gets in the shower but don’t ask for help cus we’re too tired. Of course he grabs the bouncy ball kit which he needs assistance making and he knows this but I feel like he was trying to manipulate somebody to play with him he knew he would need help with that as he can’t read at all not even CVC words at age 6 smh anyway, she’s in the shower I see him grab this toy and he asks me if I want to help I tell him again just like his mother told him we’re tired and don’t feel like opening toys at 10 PM. he doesn’t listen and grabs the toy anyway and tries to do it himself I told him not to do it and he needs help and he should wait does it anyway. Of course he makes a mess in the kitchen not knowing wtf to do with the kit just pouring shit anywhere and getting frustrated and guess who gets blamed for him making a mess because he didn’t listen to me “why didn’t you tell him he couldn’t do that?” I did “why didn’t you put your foot down?” I’m tired just like you and he doesn’t listen to me what do you want me to do then she gets mad because he’ll say “mommy I’m hungry” and she goes to microwave him his regular basic unhealthy shit something he could honestly do himself at his age but then she turns around and gets mad at me because I don’t take the initiative to make him something to eat like did you even ask me to help? I’m not a mind reader to know you don’t feel like microwaving shit for him and even worst this is SHIT HE COULD BE DOING HIMSELF AT AGE 6 and honestly I’d be teaching my kid to do this shit themselves at this age so he’s less dependent and I can get more of a break. It’s like she choosing for him to be dependent on her and gets mad that I don’t help. It’s not rocket science to get food out the freezer and press the number 2 and even if he makes a mess doing that I don’t even give a fuck it’s much more independence than I would have witnessed for the year I’ve been knowing them.
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u/cadessshonda 20h ago
I wish I could say I can’t imagine but I know this all too well I commend you for having patience and hopefully it gets better. I’m like she’ll grow out of it ? I could go on and on but for what 😭
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u/-koka 19h ago
Girl my patience is running THIN. if you check my last post, I’m about to have a serious talk about boundaries if we were to move in. can you believe his big ass begs to cosleep every single night at age 6 and will literally push me off of her in the middle of the night and she just goes “sorry babe” and with the way she babies him I don’t see us moving in if she can’t put control over his cosleeping. I’m sorry but my patience runs thinner every single fucking day.
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u/Just-Fix-2657 17h ago
You’re not his babysitter. He needs to find alternative care for his kid if he can’t watch her. You prioritize yourself and your free time and enjoy a few childfree days.
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u/throwaway1403132 13h ago
you're not a childcare facility. if he wants his kid around he can either take time off of work or find a babysitter for her!
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