For anyone who has been sexually assaulted:

Did you develop PTSD? If so, were you ever able to see or be around your assaulter again without being triggered?

I can’t imagine seeing him again and being ok with it, but my therapist says I will be able to someday.

Why did I feel so attracted to him? Why did I keep starting things? Why did I put myself in vulnerable situations? Why did I let him think it was okay? Why did I keep sexualising myself? I did that, not him

So earlier late last month, I was gang raped at my family's house back in Scotland, whilst I was back home for holiday.

I was hosting a group of seven guys from Brazil after a former classmate of mine asked told me that they were on a budget and were looking for cheap accomodation and long story short, I offered to just let them stay with me. Whilst I was hosting them for about a week, I also cooked them breakfast, joined them on road trips from Edinburgh to Glasgow and back and just spending time with them.

On the last night, they got drunk whilst having a bit of a party in my lounge, they started forcing me to drink with them, I tried to get away when they started trying to undress me and long story short, they tore off my clothes and spent the night taking turns raping me.

I woke up hungover, sore, had a headache and vaginally bleeding.

On the 12th of December, a week after returning to the States, I found out I was pregnant.

After a bit of time thinking about it, even though I got pregnant from rape, as I do want a child and do feel confident enough that I can raise a baby even as a single mum, I decided that I am going to keep the baby and continue with my pregnancy.

I know that many other women would have probably sought to terminate the pregnancy, not wanting to raise their rapists child, but the way I see it, even if my baby was conceived via rape, I do want to keep it as I see my baby as mine and not theirs.

PS: For anyone wondering, my parents weren't there as they now live in Spain for their retirement and my sister won't be back in Scotland until January next year, hence why I had my family's home all to myself.

Everyone always says different things I just want to know😭 does that mean I’m not a virgin?? Or am I idk (Pls don’t say it depends where u live just say yes or no)

I keep trying to talk to my mom about what happened with my ex. she goes from being really supportive to saying things that are really hurtful. she's said that unless a man has to learn throughout his relationship to not use aggression and physical force to get what he wants and that the things my ex did were relatively normal. she said theyre not right but they're normal and that if I wasn't physically fighting him off of me then he wouldn't have known any better. this doesn't seem true talking to my male friends about everything because they are disgusted and shocked by my exes behavior, but my mom keeps saying she has more life experience and that men are just like that unless you teach them not to. are allem really just one opportunity away from being a rapist?

He asked to use me and wanted me to be his "online toy" I said yes bc I felt like I deserved it.

I saw that children can't consent, that even if they said yes they still didn't have any right to do so.

I never said I didn't want to do anything because he said that "the fun part is forcing them to do it" so I didn't even try to deny it.

I don't know if it still counts as SA because I said yes but at the same time I was 12 and he was 30

I am unsure if anyone can shed some light on this for me or suggest a neuroscience podcast that helps explain it, but here is what happened:

I was raped 2 years ago and last month was the trial. Questions I was asked were "If you weren't into it, then why was your body reacting the way that it was"

I have been hating my body for years now cause I feel like it let me down. I can't explain why it did this ... but I am appealing the trial in the new year, so maybe I can research why the body does what it does even when being raped.

it triggers me and i know it triggers some other girls i know who were SA’d

does it trigger anyone else? am i being too sensitive?

sometimes its validating for someone to tell me i was raped, but other times it really hurts

i cant even say that i was raped out loud

This is just a thought I had. I was raped and we were both virgins, i still count myself as one, does that mean he is one also?

I know some perpetrators might count themselves as not virgins, but are they really?

Are the terms interchangeable in some areas? Like all rape is SA but not all SA is rape..? I don’t completely understand what divides the two.

Like how far into dating would you tell them? I’m not sure when the appropriate time is to tell

I wasnt raped. people have gone through far worse than my situation probably. someone told me I have weak mentality and I shouldn't feel this way and get affected by PTSD if I was strong person. I was sexually assaulted but I wasn't raped. does that make my trauma any less damaging? if I have PTSD symptoms or depression after the person fondled my private part of my body or other parts of my body, is it not count as sexual assault? what is wrong with people?

Been wondering about this. I was saying no and trying to push him off and he had to hold me down, but maybe he didn’t think he was raping me? He was my bf at the time.

Probably most people who do this don’t think of themselves as raping someone? Or do they know what they are doing and just don’t care?

My girlfriend has been raped more than once and as a result she struggles with sexual intimacy and generally has a lower sex drive. I just really want to be there for her, but apart from being supportive and letting her know she can talk to me about how she's feeling, I have no idea what to do. Sometimes she does show me that she wants to be sexual, but she has also told me that she struggles with initiating sex and I don't want to push her, so I just don't know how to go about doing that. How do I help her and how do I initiate sex?

so I feel like I fell into hypersexuality after being sexually assaulted, but it was still in the relationship with the guy who was sexually abusive. does that still count as hypersexuality? he always said the things he did weren't assaulted because I wanted them again afterwards but idk that never felt right but I didn't know how to argue against it

I was assaulted by my father last night…what I want to know is why did I freeze. Why did my body just stop working and only start shaking.

Not saying it doesn't happen to wealthy people, but I rarely see upper class women or came from privilaged background ( wealthy family or emotionally supportive family) always seem to have a better experience in dating and never get sexually taken advantage of or assualted by men compared to people who didnt come from privilaged background. Noone noticed or can tell if someone is from privilaged background or not at first. but somehow it always seems that low income class peopel always ended up getting hurt and victim of sexual abuse more than rich people. I see so many rich women sexualizing themselves and being comfortable in their sexuality and not afraid to express their sexual desire openly without getting harassed or fear of getting abused by others. I dont understand how upper class people never seem to experience any negative encounter with sex but large amount of SA victims seem to come from under-privileged family, whether it's about financial or emotional support. im trying to figure out what the common denominator that contributes to this difference in experience, so I can identify the pattern and have better understanding of human psychology. is it a certain vibe that wealthy/confident people give off?

Why is it that I am perfectly okay with masturbation and porn but the entire idea of anything sexual disgusts me and I can’t even imagine it because I feel sick.

Some of the people I've tried to talk to about what happened to me have said things a long the line of "you're not a victim" usually followed up with something like "you're a survivor/warrior/conqueror". But I don't get it. I am, by definition, a victim. The dictionary defines victim as someone who is harmed by a crime or someone who is tricked or duped. I AM a victim and nothing can change that. When people say the words "you're not a victim" it feels confusing and sometimes invalidating. I know their purpose is to say "you're MORE than a victim" but the usage of the word is weird to me. Do other people not like the term victim?

EDIT: specifically how do you feel about people saying "you are not a victim"?

What counts as consent? Can you do something new without asking? Should you have a conversation about things like hair pulling/pushing/neck grabbing/fingers in mouth? Is it bad for a guy to just start doing new things like neck grabbing and fingers in mouth if you’re intimate without asking? I’d actually already said no to fingers before lol Is it wrong if you’re being fingered and are holding onto his arm and holding him back but not saying you don’t like it but that he should slow down but still having winces of pain Is it bad for a guy to move your hand onto his dick without asking Do you have to ask for hickeys

I see and hear a lot of people talk about how their memories are all blurry and stuff. mine feel crystal clear and like they're chiseled into my brain. for a while it felt like my assault wasn't actually assault because otherwise I would have forgotten it. are there other people who remember it super clearly like me? why do I remember it so clearly when other people repress the memories?

I found my shirt from that day and just stared at it for a bit, I thought of burning it but I actually like the shirt. Idk if I should just store it, throw it or give it away.

If I go to someone's apartment to hang around or just to see his place, does that mean I agreed to have sexual activity with the guy? does that insinuate that I am down for hookup or im his property or something? does that mean he's entitled to touch my body just becuase we are on a date and I decided to stop by at his place? am I missing something here or was it my fault that I went to his place? Please someone tell me it's not because I dont know why some guys tell me if I go back to his place that means im down to do something sexual with him. was it my fault that he decided to assault me because I went back to his place and I somehow gave him the wrong idea? Please confirm if this was my fault. Becuase a guy told me it was my fault that I went back to his place.
The thing is I already told him I do not want to hook up with him on the first date and dont want anything physical with him. I pushed him off multiple times when he attempts to touch me multiple times. He kept forcing his hand on me and I had to stop his hand with my strength. I dont understand why that wasn't clear enough to him and decided to ignore all my boundaries. he must be a sociopath for not taking no for an answer. God what a sick psycho.

Is it normal to not remember the actual date/day that it happened? I honestly don't remember the date at all but I remember everything that happened.