r/nosurf • u/Own-Flow-1810 • 2d ago
Obsessive tracking of screen time and 'digital wellbeing' isn't healthy.
Looking at the Digital Wellbeing screen makes me real anxious, sometimes. It's like it's saying I Have To meet this obligation. I've used Discord heavily and felt ashamed at Digital Wellbeing's nags and all, despite me using to to get immersed in niche fiction writing and role-playing communities.
A while back i fervently installed all the minimalist launchers I could find, argued with folks on smartphone addiction, and looked up recommendations on r/nosurf and r/dumbphones which made me more anxious due to thinking I should copy the folks on there and how they viewed excess Internet use as a curse. This went on for more a month as I flipped-flopped.
This afternoon resulted in culmination, as I stood in line at an electronics store and ordered a dumbphone, for $35 that now, I realize I may never use. It made me take a look at myself. Was I doing this for myself, or was I wasting time pleasing a bunch of people trying to conform to their ideals?
Upon my realization I stripped the digital detox measures away, choosing to be free of nagging, and decided to use my smartphone without guilt regardless of what I was doing.
After removing all the minimalist additions to my phone and effectively disabling Digital Wellbeing it was way easier to cope with whatever life threw at me. Sorta like this this op-ed from Wired. After reading it, I sincerely think that going back to a smartphone without restrictions would be better for myself overall, cos I kinda don't want another stressor or two in the form of a so-called wellbeing app breathing down my neck.
Frankly, what it boils down to is: If you truly cannot control yourself around your phone, it's fine. Social media is well known to be made to be addictive, and well, people who couldn't ever control themselves around their phones were never going to win. They shouldn't ever hate themselves or think that high screen time is a moral imperative or that it makes them a bad person- if surrendering to the smartphone is truly easier, then by all means do so.
ETA: My ordered dumbphone will arrive in a few days. Probably gonna see if they accept a change of mind refusal, though I may just take the device and suck it up - for $35 it doesn't seem too worth it to exchange it for anything else since I already have enough data cables, USB drives, earbuds, and assorted tech accessories matching its price range, which here translate to "cheap, medicore stuff in between off brand and name brand".
Not to mention, it's a whole cell phone - not a smartphone but still. Not a lot of deals like that here in New Zealand/Australia.
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u/Milli_Rabbit 2d ago
To me, it sounds like you have anxiety about change. This is fairly common. Change is hard and sometimes our behavior is an expression of unhelpful beliefs and thoughts we may not even recognize. Often, there is this feeling of anxiety about the unknown. What do I do when I'm off my phone? If there isn't a clear direction, people become more anxious and their subconscious mind starts thinking about the predictable path (i.e. spending time on YouTube or Reddit or Discord). Predictability feels like the right thing even when its not because our brain struggles to handle the unknown.
If you are finding enjoyment from Discord that is helping you develop a hobby, then its fine. However, even if it is helping but you are spending multiple hours daily (4+) on it, it might be time to reconsider what else needs your attention in life. I find it hard to believe you can work regular hours and also spend 4 hours of every day on a hobby and also have chores and other important tasks under control. That said, it's not impossible, particularly if some of your time is on the bus or train or during a work break.