r/nosurf • u/Own-Flow-1810 • 1d ago
Obsessive tracking of screen time and 'digital wellbeing' isn't healthy.
Looking at the Digital Wellbeing screen makes me real anxious, sometimes. It's like it's saying I Have To meet this obligation. I've used Discord heavily and felt ashamed at Digital Wellbeing's nags and all, despite me using to to get immersed in niche fiction writing and role-playing communities.
A while back i fervently installed all the minimalist launchers I could find, argued with folks on smartphone addiction, and looked up recommendations on r/nosurf and r/dumbphones which made me more anxious due to thinking I should copy the folks on there and how they viewed excess Internet use as a curse. This went on for more a month as I flipped-flopped.
This afternoon resulted in culmination, as I stood in line at an electronics store and ordered a dumbphone, for $35 that now, I realize I may never use. It made me take a look at myself. Was I doing this for myself, or was I wasting time pleasing a bunch of people trying to conform to their ideals?
Upon my realization I stripped the digital detox measures away, choosing to be free of nagging, and decided to use my smartphone without guilt regardless of what I was doing.
After removing all the minimalist additions to my phone and effectively disabling Digital Wellbeing it was way easier to cope with whatever life threw at me. Sorta like this this op-ed from Wired. After reading it, I sincerely think that going back to a smartphone without restrictions would be better for myself overall, cos I kinda don't want another stressor or two in the form of a so-called wellbeing app breathing down my neck.
Frankly, what it boils down to is: If you truly cannot control yourself around your phone, it's fine. Social media is well known to be made to be addictive, and well, people who couldn't ever control themselves around their phones were never going to win. They shouldn't ever hate themselves or think that high screen time is a moral imperative or that it makes them a bad person- if surrendering to the smartphone is truly easier, then by all means do so.
ETA: My ordered dumbphone will arrive in a few days. Probably gonna see if they accept a change of mind refusal, though I may just take the device and suck it up - for $35 it doesn't seem too worth it to exchange it for anything else since I already have enough data cables, USB drives, earbuds, and assorted tech accessories matching its price range, which here translate to "cheap, medicore stuff in between off brand and name brand".
Not to mention, it's a whole cell phone - not a smartphone but still. Not a lot of deals like that here in New Zealand/Australia.
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u/Milli_Rabbit 1d ago
To me, it sounds like you have anxiety about change. This is fairly common. Change is hard and sometimes our behavior is an expression of unhelpful beliefs and thoughts we may not even recognize. Often, there is this feeling of anxiety about the unknown. What do I do when I'm off my phone? If there isn't a clear direction, people become more anxious and their subconscious mind starts thinking about the predictable path (i.e. spending time on YouTube or Reddit or Discord). Predictability feels like the right thing even when its not because our brain struggles to handle the unknown.
If you are finding enjoyment from Discord that is helping you develop a hobby, then its fine. However, even if it is helping but you are spending multiple hours daily (4+) on it, it might be time to reconsider what else needs your attention in life. I find it hard to believe you can work regular hours and also spend 4 hours of every day on a hobby and also have chores and other important tasks under control. That said, it's not impossible, particularly if some of your time is on the bus or train or during a work break.
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u/Own-Flow-1810 20h ago edited 19h ago
Yeah, I'm a uni student on holiday and there's not too much to do save for being on my laptop all day, visiting family once or twice a week, or just taking a walk to the town shops (even when I don't actually need to buy the groceries or any actually essential items/appointments)
Secondly I'm mostly at home without much obligations during the holidays save for basic chores, and there ain;t much do do except sit around.
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1d ago
I don't think you're supposed to use digital wellbeing and tracking forever...just for a useful amount of time. It's not the ultimate tool for this, in fact it's just a means or a metric. It's like saying that a meter is a good running excercise just because it counts the distance. It just shows you how long you're supposed to walk far, that is.
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u/JoyRideinaMinivan 1d ago
The problem with using tracking and nagging software to change your behavior is that it never freaking ends. So you have to decide if you’re willing to deal with the uncomfortable feeling that something is wrong with you every day for the rest of your life. Meanwhile, society is moving online at a lightening speed. Want to order a pizza? Where is the nearest donut shop? Your niece had her first recital. The pictures are on Facebook 😀
So you pick up your phone and are reminded that this is your addiction! Your brain is broken! Screen time is bad! It’s exhausting.
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u/Own-Flow-1810 20h ago
It is! I don't think it's quite right (hell I notice I spend a LOTTA time on my laptop as well, but that's neither here nor there)
It's more the fact now that there's an expectation that you're always online for the most part. The 'default' so to speak.
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u/NotaParisian 1d ago
That’s the thing with addictions : stressing you out and feeling guilty is not productive. For some people it can work, but it doesn’t address the underlying issue. It’s like watching your weight, if you’re trying to control the weight itself you’re ending up with eating disorders, body dysmorphia and stuff like that… but if you watch it like a symptom / metric of whatever issue you have in your life (bad eating habits, bad sleep, hormonal issues, medication side effects, but also building muscle mass…) and focus on solving the underlying problem, you’ll less likely try to control the symptom itself.
Guilt isn’t a cure for addictions. Addictions are a symptom of underlying disorders. Social media are taking advantage of our current society which promote individualism and makes us chronically lonely. And whatever other disorder you could have which makes you more vulnerable to addictions.
All those things (screentime tracker, dumbphones, etc…) are meant to be tools in this journey. If you need them. If you still want drop the bad habits, I think you should reframe how you see your journey, and ask yourself the right questions (you and everyone else reading this). Don’t make yourself more mentally ill than you already are.
If you try to put coercitive mesures in place, you’ll transfer your addiction to something else (smoking, eating, gambling, drugs, alcohol, etc…), so that’s why you feel like shit by doing this.
Take care of yourself, and when you’ll get back on your smartphone, try to put it down sometimes to think about this. About why you’re scrolling, why you wanted to quit the internet in a first place, what this experience teached you about what you really want, and what you could do to succeed next time.
I hope you’ll find peace with yourself
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u/Own-Flow-1810 19h ago edited 19h ago
Thank you.
I scroll on social media in my niche communities cos there's simply few folk I know in reality with the same interests as me. That is why social media is so compelling to me, allowing people to connect with each other despite the addictive nature of its design and all.
Frankly, I feel like the dumbphone thing was just a fad I wanted in on. But unlike the historical thing where the Internet, automobile and smartphones were considered fad that would die out, they turned out to be miraculous technology that changed the world in a way - the dumbphone movement won't be one of these. Other technologies already took the world by storm, and I don't think there's really a place for that sort of tech in most people's lives anymore.
There's some part of me that when I saw the people of r/dumbphones showing off their devices, saying, 'No, society has moved on. You're not gonna be able to do this much longer. Why don't you accept that?' Maybe that's why I bought that phone, possibly. I wanted to see that if it could ever be done permanently, but I'd bet when it arrives and I open it, I'd say the answer is no.
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u/NotaParisian 11h ago
Yeah, social media do have some interest. That’s the reason I’m interested in digital minimalism, it’s to question myself about my usage of the internet (and social media, by extension). Not just cut everything like some people seem to do here (choice that I understand, but it lacks nuances for most people).
Social media have a net negative impact on my mental health (and physical health, by extension), and I know I’m not alone, a lot of people feel this way. Maybe you’re not the person you would benefit from cutting your usage.of those tools, and that’s totally okay. The goal is to build the life you want, not the life other people says would suit you.
Even if society moved on, there will always be small communities of people doing things the old way. If dumbphones become unusable, people will find a way. Even if the simplest solution is to have as smartphone. That’s what I’m doing, and I hate it. I’m forced to have one and it makes me sick. Not only the smart part, the phone part too. I’m not in a position to do things on that, but some people can and want to. A lot of people won’t accept this if they’re forced to do so, if the new ways is a net negative for them.
At the end, society doesn’t think, it just move on. It doesn’t mean we can’t think, ask ourselves if we benefit from that, and how we want to incorporate that in our life. But you can end up isolated and ostracised if you’re not in a position to do otherwise.
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u/bunnymelon2246 1d ago
I totally agree with you, at least on a permanent basis. I eventually got burned out on the rules and realized my idea of online minimalism doesn't have to match some ideal I read about online. Trying to forbid an activity all the time can make it more alluring and it makes you feel horrible when you fail.
That said, going back down to zero for a period of reflection and reset can be extremely useful. Thinking about it a lot and writing out your feelings is so helpful. All this digital stuff was thrown into our laps one day, we didn't have time to think about what role we wanted it to play in our lives. Most of us are just constantly drinking from the firehose without ever stopping for reflection. If possible, anybody should really think about it a lot and try to become more tech savvy. There is a lot of hostile design that can be mitigated through knowledge (Most technology default settings are INSANE, just look at how just about any old person has their phone set up). It's also worth thinking about the incentives or philosophy that a platform or technology might have and if they're aligned with yours or not. Think broadly about your goals in life too and what obstacles are in your way.
I went down to entirely stock applications on my phone and computer for quite a while and very slowly added in new applications when necessary. I thought about each new inclusion a significant amount. I still have a ton of fun things on it, but it's nothing mind-destroying. I have books, manga, anime...
I refuse to put some stuff on it like social media, but it's not a hard rule. I thought about the pros and cons. I liked social media almost entirely because I liked looking at artists' work. My question became "Is there some way I can get that without the other aspects?" After some research I found a computer application (Hydrus) that does that. It's somewhat techy with an arcane UI, but learning the basics of one computer program is better than all the cons of how I was using social media before. I also went onto Linux and use almost entirely FOSS apps since the incentives of the people making them are more aligned with my own.
I respect the dumbphone lifestyle a lot too, but I expect it to only become more difficult to adhere to as time goes on, sadly. Even a lot of the small selection of dumbphones currently on the market are cheap low-quality imitations of the ones that used to exist. They used to be sturdy and reliable. Some of the aspects of life from the 2000s and before are also lacking, it can be hard to go back. Books, MP3s and retro games and such are still great, but some other media like cable TV and magazines are hollow imitations of what they used to be.
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u/Own-Flow-1810 20h ago
Yeah, so far I've just pared down my Galaxy smartphone to the bare minimum apps on a smartphone that cannot be removed (phone, contacts, messages, camera, gallery, calendar, clock, notes, settings and app store) which is plenty enough for me. I use Firefox for browsing, and some basic utilities.
The only other concession I make is Do Not Disturb is activated permanently and notification badges are not shown on apps or the status bar.
Plus at home I spend a lot more time on my laptop than my phone.
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u/YolkyFanClubPrez 14h ago
Just bc it made you anxious doesn't mean it is unhealthy.
Quitting any addiction is stressful bc you aren't able to use the vice that you rely on to relieve stress.
No judgement here, I agree there is no moral value attached to scrolling, but trying to give up phone addiction is not unhealthy.
Sometimes things feel worse before they get better.
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u/Careful-Border-3273 1d ago edited 1d ago
I think I got your point, but it's way to idealistic. Also sentence "if you can't control yourself around phone it's fine"? No it's not lol. First you need to realize you have a problem. If you have 300lbs and enjoy sweets, you can't say it's fine they made them addictive, dude you gonna die. Same logic here, be strict, if you aren't you gonna return into the same rabbit hole again.