r/lastweektonight 14d ago

Lyrics to Will Ferrell song about America

I can't find the lyrics online, so I'm gonna post it here. The Lee Greenwood episode only has auto-generated subtitles, so let me know if I misheard something so I can edit this post. I'd also like to add the title of the song if anyone knows it.

Title: ???

You studied hard. You did your best.
Filled out the forms and passed the test.
Now you're part of a land that's so God-blessed.
And starting today, you're American.

There's corn dogs and apple pie.
Fireworks lighting up the sky.
NASCAR, rodeo, barbeque.
That stuff's American. Now so are you.

You learned our presidents and our laws.
I think it's time to mention our flaws.
We're a real big country with real big problems.
We're kinda hoping you could help us solve them.

Televangelists and fossil fuels.
Metal detectors in all our schools.
Private prisons and Mountain Dew.
That stuff's American. Now they're your problem, too.
Student debt and CTE.
The war on drugs, Scientology.
Boeing Airlines and Ted f**king Cruz.
They're all American. Now so are you.

Nowadays it's harder to be free.
Hard to be the country that we oughta be.
You weren't born here. You volunteered
To join your fate to the great and the just plain weird!
(Just plain weird!) So get ready for

Truck nuts and jet ski tricks.
Santa-Con and food on sticks.
Thousands of medical bankruptcies.
Plantation weddings and Chuck E. Cheese.
Big Gulps and L.L. Bean.
Tornadoes, Spirit Halloween.
Holy shit! I just remembered the coup!
That stuff's American!

We sure ain't perfect, but here's to the fight.
The brightest future's the one you'll write.
Wherever you come from, wherever you roam,
Fellow Americans!
(Fellow Americans!)
Fellow Americans, welcome home!

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u/jjenkins_41 14d ago

I'd go with "That Stuff's American" or "Fellow Americans, Welcome Home."