OY GAY! Put the OY in Boyfriend and the IRL in Girlfriend 🌈💘 this January 21st in downtown NYC as we debut The Jewish Dating Game - LGBTJEW! 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👨‍❤️‍👨 It’s a live matchmaking gameshow tailored for LGBTQ+ Jews and Jewish allies! Blind date live on stage with personalized matches and WIN a five-star dinner date! 🍷 Whether you’ve got the chutzpah to compete or just here to schmooze, this event promises a night of laughter, connection, and Jewish joy. ✨

Four lucky singles will win romantic dinners at NYC’s finest Jewish restaurants! 🍽️🔥 This fabulous event welcomes Jews and allies, singles and couples, so grab your crew and get ready for an unforgettable evening! 💃🕺

Stay for a mingle and raffle after the show, featuring more amazing prizes from NYC’s best Jewish bakers and businesses! 🌟

Get your tickets and submit to be a contestant! (Submissions close Jan 19th.) https://www.caveat.nyc/events/the-jewish-dating-game-1-21-2025

Can’t make it this month? Join our mailing list! https://tinyurl.com/listjdg

Check out TheJewishDatingGame.com for more details! 

Convert here so definitely not an expert on Halakha hence the following question:

Sex on Shabbat is double mitzvah (mitzvot?). But I’ve been told that’s because we are told to “Go forth and multiply,” and enjoy/relax on the Sabbath. As a queer Jew in a same sex relationship, the sex I have has no chance of leading to procreation. Is this still double mitzvah?

Shabbat Shalom everyone,

TL;DR feeling my sexuality is unfair for the first time in 10+ years (that's when I left Christianity).

Longer-ish story: tbh I'm writing cause I'm feeling a little alone in my head. I really want to pursue conversion to Judaism, but my country has no conservative or reform synagogues/communities and moving out is not an option (third world passport and it's respective lack of privileges) so I'm stuck with Orthodoxy if I want to pursue that.

I'm lesbian, and I have loved embracing my identity in recent years and being incredibly thankful that I have left Christianity and belief in hell and all of that waaay back in the past. Being true to myself has given me so much peace and love, and mental well-being. I'm not struggling with that identity because of some belief in damnation or anything like that-- it's the commitment to Orthodox life, and an Orthodox community if I choose to follow that path. I wouldn't be able to be honest with those around me, I'd have to hide who I am and who I love. Not being able to marry doesn't bother me as gay marriage isn't an option in my country either way. It just feels like I'd only be able to keep appearances for so long in an Orthodox community. I can already see myself fleeing the synagogue right after service before people start asking me when I'm getting married and having kids.

I'm thinking well, if I'm able to move out of the country at some point I could certainly find a Conservative or Reform synagogue to be a part of then, but I don't really want to delay my pursuit for this spiritual and observant life. I really want to pursue conversion now even in these circumstances, as it takes quite long for an Orthodox conversion process.

It would be helpful to hear from other lesbians who are observant. This is weighing on me, it's like choosing between two parts of myself. The Rabbis in my community are certainly committed to make sure people are honest about this path, as they say a convert is forever their responsibility. I've probably taken that the wrong way, as I'm experiencing dread over disappointing them because I'm a lesbian :'))

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DEDCIq7xufe/?igsh=NHl5Znl4eHBrNmlj

Hope you like this! Thought I’d share :)

On this thread - and this thread only - Rule 5 (We're not your Shadchan/Matchmaker) is suspended!

Feel free to introduce yourself here, make an old-school "seeking love match" post, or, respond to others who've posted.

Include the information you think is most relevant about yourself and the kind of person you're looking for, but be sure to phrase it positively and respectfully. (Rude posts will still be removed.)

Great things to include:

• Your orientation/what you're seeking
• Judaic affiliation, if any
• Hobbies
• What you're looking for (romance, tennis partners, Shabbat dinner guests, board game partners)
• Your age / preferred age range

If you're open to DMs/private messages, say so - but know that folks may message you privately anyway.

Use your common sense when posting: Don't share any real-life identifying info on the thread (No names, no addresses). Definitely share general geographic info, age/age range, and other useful info. Remember, though, the internet is a scary place and lots of folks aren't who they say they are - be smart before you decide to exchange anything real!

(Also, we can only keep things civil/responsible on this thread. If you decide to take the conversation elsewhere, regular Reddit rules apply, but we can't get involved.)

Hello, apologies if this isn’t a good place for this.

I am an artist in gamedev and me and my friends outside of our daily jobs have been working on a project for over a year- it’s a platformer focusing on princesses and fairytales. We are a mostly jewish and queer team based in Israel with some people working long distance.

Our only issue is that we are struggling to find more junior developers in unity, as people we find turn out to either be gay but antisemitic or not antisemitic but homophobic.

If anybody here is interested, as I feel this is a good place for the intersection of jewish and queer identities- feel free to dm me for details.

I just saw this randomly, and had to share it! I love it so much I’m tearing up a little, even though I’m not trans! I’m going to make one for when my wife and I travel somewhere homophobic.

The website has a link to Tefilat Trans, which I’m reading through now. In addition to the “Blessing of Protection for Traveling While Trans/Gender Non-conforming” written in this amulet, it also has prayers for coming out, autistics unmasking, and prayers for a new name (based on the passage in Genesis where Sarai is renamed Sarah). Plus a whole host of rituals and prayers for transitioning.

Candle lighting, challah and passionate sex with my jewish partner.

Hello I’m a black 25f that is looking to convert to Judaism. I’m not converting for a partner as I am single. I’ve struggled a bit with my sexuality and religion. I’ve never really felt the same warmth when going to church. Just from the little bit of exposure I’ve had to the Jewish community when I lived in NJ and PA made me feel warm and accepted. However I’ve been a lurker on here and I have some questions because I’m not sure where to start. So far I have been listening to Choosing a Jewish Life (Revised and Updated) by Anita Diamant on audible. I’m also looking for help in my area. However I’m not sure where to start. For a little more information I live in the USA in the state of Georgia. I live 2hrs outside Atlanta in Middle Georgia. I don’t see many jewish folks around my area especially those that are LGBTQ+ like myself. I would love if anyone can recommend some books or any online resources, and etc to help me on my journey.

(Note: sorry to make two posts! I still dont really understand how reddit works and didnt know it would post the image separate!)

Hi! Sort of an update, I posted about giving my girlfriend (it/he/she) a mezuzah for our anniversary a few months back. Well I did, and it went great! We had a cheese board, wine, and watched supernatural, and then when I gave it to her we both cried for a bit together. Apparently it was something she had wanted, but only really pictured actually getting one when she was somewhere that felt more like home, and was happy that got to be with me.

In more recent news, I decided to make him shabbas candle holders for chanukah this year. Well, intended for chanukah, but I got a little too excited, and he happened to have this friday and saturday off work, so I gifted them early. In a month or so he'll get to step down at work and have every friday and saturday off. It was so nice to set up the candles for him, and watching him call in his first shabbas made me so happy. Hes talked about how gender affirming it would be and how happy it would make him, and I'm so glad I got to help him complete this mitzvah. Shes sitting next to me now texting our friends and her mom about it with this huge smile on her face. I love her so much, every part of her, and I'm so happy every time I get to remind her. I should wrap this up so I can go play shabbas goy now so he doesnt start trying to do dishes lol. Shabbat shalom!(and an early happy chanukah!)

Hello folks!

My partner is a few months into her official start of converting to Judaism. I cannot stress how happy I am for her. She brings home with her a lot of beautiful things from her studies, activities and time in temple. I encourage her at every step, and am really proud of her growth as an individual.

I have a number of health issues that prevent me from supporting her all the ways that I dream of. I am non-religious and completely new to many religious concepts. I was wondering if there were any traditions or supportive things I could surprise her with as a gift, treat, surprise.

For instance I can still play piano with one hand, if there's a simple song I could learn to surprise her with, I think that could be very meaningful.

Let me know if anything comes to mind! Thank you and I hope you all are having a lovely shabbat!

For this bi-weekly (yay, more bi stuff!) post we're shifting focus to create a space for folks to just talk and share what's on their mind, even if it's not specifically LGBTQ/Jewish focused. Hopefully, as a space made up of primarily LGBTQ+ Jews we'll be a good support for each other with allllll that's going on around the world right now.

Please note: Our quality standards and expectations of civility are still in place, and this isn't a thread for name calling or direct insults. This is a place to process feelings and be in community with each other and just share what's on your mind.

Shabbat shalom!

Admittedly, I slept around quite a bit over the years, some fun memories (and some meh too). Perhaps it was only because I felt unloveable that I slept about. Ironically, the wider LGBT+ community never really felt welcoming, and this year that's much worse.

I started attending a shul, everyone is welcoming, it feels safe, and increasingly I feel a deeper connection with HaShem. There is a sense that even if I cannot love myself, there is this God who loves me as a person. I have been putting myself down by believing the maximum attainable intimacy level I am worthy of was casual sex.

It has been a positive experience joining this synagogue, learning more about Judaism, meeting Rabbis who will happily marry same-sex couples, appreciating the emphasis Judaism puts on life cycles, etc. Suddenly the idea that I could actually one day be married to a guy, actually feel a part of a community (not based on sex)... I don't wanna sleep around anymore, it's makes me feel cheap.

Has anyone gone through something similar?

Hi! I’ve been trying to find resources and sources that talk about what it means to be bi and Jewish from a more Orthodox perspective but when googling the most recent things I can find are discussion threads from 10 plus years ago and are basically rants about lack of acceptance. Does anyone have any leads or resources to share?

Hi,

I am looking for the grammatical/word by word analysis of Leviticus 18:22. I think Steven Greenberg wrote it? It gives a lot of evidence that the Hebrew was misunderstood.

Once upon a time, I was struggling to learn Hebrew, and was beyond horrible at it. I kinda gave up a decade ago, and let the skills I had managed to gain stagnate and die. I want to build my Hebrew back up, and I am hoping watching some movies and TV shows in Hebrew might help.

I am turning to you all because, well, the queerer the media, the happier I am while watching it. I currently know only a handful of things that came out before 2010, and nothing from after that time.

Please rec me some good queer stuff to watch in Hebrew, and if this is not the best space to ask, please point me in a better direction!

In other words, how can I ensure that they don’t conflict/how can I accept my homosexuality while still being a religious Conservadox Jew? (This is more intended for fellow gay Jews but I appreciate any and all advice.) I know it’s all about self-acceptance, but having only come out as gay a little more than a month ago and being 16(M), I’m worried that there will be a time where being gay and religious will conflict. Thank you all in advance!! ❤️❤️

Edit: I suppose I should specify that I meant more in terms of what the Torah/Tanakh (really Halakha) says about homosexuality. I don’t want to ignore the Torah, but I also want to live as peacefully and happily as I can while accepting myself so that I can be the best version of myself.

Hey...!! So I listen to a bunch of books. And in the past few years, I have been trying to listen and get books about israel and judaism (our history, our politics, and so on) but also this year I decided to read more stories written by jewish identifying authors. Stories that should have at least a bit of a jewish feel to them in their storytelling or whatever. Anyway... ive been getting into sapphic/lesbian romance books, and I cam across one recently about two young jewish women in DC during christmas time... and Im really sad about the way jewish identity is so ill explored in the book... the author keeps referring to the characters as "WASPS" (as if Jewish peopel can be WASP lmfao) and the only reason jewish identity comes up is in refernece to christmas ( "i hate hannukah because its all about capitalism because jews were sad to not get presents (meanwhile, doesnt mention the latkes or the lights or dreidl because who would mention those things when talking about hannukah?) and the mothers in it are just guilt tripping with new york accents) and its just.... antisemitic? Like im trying to be open minded... but this jewish author literally just wrote jewish characters who hate themselves and make themselves a joke. Thw worst prt is that the author is jewish and queer and should be able to recognize these things within their writing... needless to say.... i will not be reading anymore more Jake Maia Arlow. And will probably not finish "how to excavate a heart" rating of 0 out of 5. (Anyone want to start a jewish and gay reading book club? Lol)

Sorry to impose, we don't really have a LGBT safe space in the Romani community like y'all do here. Please read the whole thing I am open to advice or I wouldn't be here but hear me out too.

I'm third generation born American. My family is from Hungry mostly but also the Czech Republic and Russia. I want a tattoo that starts a conversation that makes people uncomfortable like how I'm made to feel uncomfortable and spoken over all the time. I want, just colored lines no fill, a pink triangle superimposed on a red wagon wheel 🛞. We have been erased from history for the most part. In school we got barely 5 sentences in the Holocaust history chapter. During these lessons, I was never given the option to opt out like my Jewish counter parts were. When my grandma, who read ahead of me in my Holocaust learning, read "Night" she wanted to keep me from reading it till she could explain some things to me. She went to the school to ask to opt me out and they said I either take the lesson plan and do it or fail the class and be held back. I was given no choice. People treated me differently after that lesson. I was treated as lesser and dangerous.

Even today, as a 27 year old adult, people don't know what I mean when I say Romani. I always always ALWAYS have to drop the g-word to get it across and suddenly it's either people become uneasy around me or they think I'm some magical creature to read their palm or some shit. Don't even get me started on the fortune teller tropes around Halloween. I work in a craft store and we sold so much "G-word fortune teller" merch this year it made me unreasonably angry.

I want something that makes people uncomfortable. That opens the discussion to the Holocaust and the effects it's had on the Romani population. I've considered even putting it on my hand by my thumb so when I shake people's hands they're met with discomfort and confusion. Hell there are people who don't know we were even targets during the Holocaust. I've considered getting the black triangle or dropping the wheel and doing a pink triangle super imposed on a black one, but most people don't even know that was used for us, obviously most people don't even know we were there. The pink however, people know and it's later reclaim gives me this feeling of power about it like my own little rebellion. And my Romani family exiled me for being LGBT+.

So I need advice, obviously I'm a spiteful man with a lot strong headed views and a lot of pain. I want something powerful that tells a story and starts conversations. But, at the same time, I don't want to bulldoze other in my attempts to see the light. So I need some other people to help with my perspective. I'm tired of being look down on and lost to history. Even my manager, tho playfully, makes Romani stereotype jokes at me and they get old real quick.

Anyway. Have at it. Give me the advice. 🛞🏳️‍🌈

hi everyone!

I just finished the book When The Angels Left The Old Country by Sacha Lamb and wow!!!! what an absolute joy it was as a queer jew reading it!! It’s a magical realism book rooted in Jewish mythology, featuring dybbuks and Jewish angels and Jewish demons and Yiddish. Obviously there’s obstacles the characters have to overcome but I can’t even begin to explain how seen I felt with a book rooted in my cultural understanding vs. having to over explain things.

My post here is two-fold:

1. I wanted to see if anyone else has read it! I would absolutely love to discuss this book with other people, especially queer jews!

2. Do you have any books recs for Jewish and Queer books that are similar?