r/enby_irl • u/hime44633712 • Aug 09 '22
Pronoun confusion
So I just have to share this. I’m writing this the day after it happened. I came out as being on the enby spectrum a few months back, and I told my best friend, who is SUUUPER supportive, first. She’s been amazing with my they/them pronouns and everything! My whole household is supportive too, but they struggle a bit more to understand.
So my brother (bro), my best friend(bestie), and I went to the supermarket to pick up some sushi and snacks before taking Bestie home for the night. I forget what we were talking about, but when Bro was talking to Bestie about me, he used she instead of they. Bestie and I instantly corrected him. "They." We announced in unison. Then he was clarifying by gesturing to me and saying "You. I'm talking about you." And I was trying to tell him my pronouns. He said it made no sense to use they. I was wondering if he was being grammar stubborn or something. I drop the subject and move on, since we were in the middle of the store and I didn't really feel like getting into it with him while people could stop and stare at us.
So we finish our shopping and get Bestie home safe. After we get home as well, Bro comes to my room to talk to me. I take the opportunity to talk to him further about the pronouns thing. He kept saying that they wasn’t proper grammar and how does one refer to someone else specifically. This confused me, as it’s obvious we both are well aware of basic grammar rules, so I am unsure what he’s talking about.
I ask him to clarify. It turns out that Bro thought I wanted him to use they/them in place of the second person you. He didn’t even register that I heard the she come from his voice. I clarified and said no, I wasn’t talking about the second person pronoun at all and that I wanted him to stop using she/her, not you/your. From that point, Bro said that he'd need to practice, but he'll try for me. Yay!
TL;DR: Bro thought I wanted him to replace you/your with they/them and forgot she/her was even there. Accidentally came off a little transphobic at first but he's totally not. I love my big brother!
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u/yuri_aka_jamie Aug 09 '22
I was almost actually about to fight him and idek him but it seems he's pretty cool afterall. Good on him and congrats!