People will claim we're being too cynical and edgy or whatever. But the truth is that we're just being realistic. Truth is that nothing ever good will happen to ppl like us. Only kind of people who says it will get better has never experienced true sorrow.

no lucky breaks, no happy ending, no miracles, no happy accidents, no big life changing event. Nothing. Born in a hole of shit. Keep digging but god and life just keeps shitting on me.

I have this immense feeling of shame, guilt, frustration, and something akin to fear. Is it just anxiousness? Or something else? Something more complex? This doesn't feel like the anxiousness I was so used to. It's like it's more layered.

I have a lot of self-hatred, but also a lot of self-love. It conflicts all of the time. Maybe most of the time. Maybe the love is just a need for preservation. An ego in denial. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself. I don't know. I think my inner workings are too biased to figure that out objectively.

People really are complex. Maybe more complex than almost anything. I believe this because I believe I'm complex. Then again, I'm probably not well educated enough, nor do I know enough about the world, life, and their inner workings to come to that conclusion. Or am I not giving myself enough credit?

Maybe I'm just messed up. Maybe everyone is their own degree of messed up, but some of us just stronger feel the need to articulate and express it. Is this the human experience? just my experience? Or just the experience of a select few odd eggs?

If you relate to any of what I wrote, maybe we could have a dialogue or something.

Howl by Allen Ginsberg.

I hope it finds you well, all of you

I hope there is hope. If we can get rid of outdated social structure and make a new(and more rational) one somehow, I think we can make this world better. But we live in the era of individualism. Humans survived until now by gathering themselves together and moving as one. We united, and we prospered. But now, everyone is separated, offending others and don’t take any burden themselves. We ought to do it again. If we continue to blame others for making this planet a piece of shit and don’t act for anything, we will suffer. Forever. We need to become a ‘human of humans’. A person is consisted of organs, and each organ is made of tissues, and each tissue is composed of cells. We can refer an individual as a cell. We make ‘tissues’, which are small communities of individuals, and each tissue merges into ‘organs’, which are larger communities functioning properly so that they can supply human needs by themselves. But organs can’t progress unless there is some external help. So, organs unite into a ‘human of humans’, which is the planet earth. Everyone gets his(or her) own duty, and the nature of earth is maintained while we are advancing technology and social justice. This is the basic concept of the ideal world. But we can’t even make tissues. When we even start to debate about political or social issues, we end up spitting curse words to each other and earning no intellectual fruit. Learning to appreciate the other’s opinions and construct logical arguments is fundamental to form ‘human of humans’. This is the basic principle to properly debate. Debating and agreeing on something more reasonable than others is crucial for making better decisions. These sets of behaviors and mindsets improve individuals’ and society’s ability to understand each option’s value, rising the chance to succeed. This is my ideal scenario of the world. We need to unite, act as one. But why are we doomer? Because this is impossible. Though, we can imagine the utopia in our minds.

I never knew what I wanted to "be when I grew up", college and work were definitely out of the question, then I discovered a passion for music and drawing, but I just couldn't succeed at it, everything was summed up in mediocrity and things that only I could value, there is no difference between my art and jerking off, nothing, my art is worth the same as a cumshot.

Unfortunately, this world is a lottery, a gamble, it all comes down to genetics, if you weren't born with the right one, forget about the effort, it's over.

I try to live my life in peace but this bitterness just won't stop, it sucks to know that you're going to be a mediocre nobody until the day you die unless by a divine miracle.

Life is a pathetic thing for the average person, only stupid normies can deal with it with all that bullshit they believe.

And don't even get me started on the merits of being below average, geez...

Whose only member played all the instruments and recorded his music himself. He wore a wooden mask and said he hated people too much to cooperate with other musicians

What's the point of being born if my existence is meant to just experience suffering and pain? The absurdity of my existence

I'm not even a fucking adult yet why do I gotta live like this

I love this artist so much. I don't think I've really listened to anything else since I found this upload.

Been depressed as fuck for over a month. Feel totally dead inside. Feel nothing matters in this rate race hamster wheel world. I miss all the people I’ve lost. I’ve ashamed of my past. Unable to move forward. I’m also ashamed that in my recent depressive state I’ve been stuffing my face full of junk food to numb the pain because I’m trying to stop drinking at the same time. Honestly I keep contemplating the idea of taking my gun, driving out to the middle of nowhere, then shooting myself in the mouth in a place no one will find me. But I can still count on 1 hand, there’s a couple people that need me around so I’ll fight that temptation as best I can.

Thinking thoughts of extreme hate

Destined to fail no way out of fate

When dreams are reality it's time to see

The guilty all around me running free

There is no court or higher being

No restitution or place among them

Waiting for me

Waiting for me

Just slow decay, damn

How hard is it to grab a gun from a cop

Guns blazing

Crowds here I come

i cannot grasp the fact that there are living individuals that believe they are completely fucked?? every single post i read, it’s always a common mindset all of you have. “we’re fucked” okay, we will eventually die but how do you un-fuck yourselves??? why doesn’t that cross anyone’s mind? are you depressed? have you ever sought REAL help? have you ACCEPTED help? have you even considered reaching out to ANYONE at all for help? you all seem to think you need to live life on your own, or still live with your parents and think it’s the end of the world. the fact that you’re posting your (very apparent) cry for help on THE INTERNET is a LITERAL dream for so many. what makes you think this way? for those do you that don’t live with your parents and have their own personal space? what has changed about you since living alone? did it get worse? why not change what changed you and make an effort to become something new and better? what’s stopping ANY of you from doing that? i’m an outsider looking in. i take wellbutrin and haven’t been suicidal, depressed, or even negative in situations that would normally enable that part of me. i’m just trying to understand, why are people in this community crying for help, attention, and validation when they are unable to comprehend that their ACTIONS dictate every minute of their substantially meaningful life?

i know this sounded argumentative and aggressive. but this is the only way i could express my confusion with the “doomer” mindset.

EDIT: Spelling mistakes.

I’m 19 and my whole life I never had any social life or friends, it takes a huge toll on my mental health. To cope I just lift heavy and eat all day. I thought having muscles would make me happy, but now I’m just buff and depressed.

My life really is almost like Leaving Las Vegas, only it's mixed with American Psycho, too. The irony of all of this is just so complete now. It's incredible to me that this was ever a good idea to her given everything that's happened. That said, she knows me all too well. This is what my life amounts to. Skeletons drinking from skulls. I adore these items. And I love my mother, too. As I said, she knows me all too well, just not well enough to recognise what these bottles and glasses really mean to me now. I feel vindicated, obviously. Like the mistakes I made drinking that hurt her so much are just passing indiscretions. That she loves me, no matter what. That she understands me. I respect her so much for that. For this. It's like the reassurances I always wanted from her growing up that, like my father, I always knew she didn't have the words to ever truly impart, are all still there. I'm not going to drink myself to death just yet. I'm not. Things are going too well. There's still so much to do. But I have these vessels now, these vehicles to guide me towards my ultimate purpose. I'll fill them up with glee, until I just can't anymore.

I'm really going to try and turn it around now somehow. All this poisonous self-indulgent misery, the hard boozing, the smoking every fifteen minutes, it all has to come to a hard close if I'm going to pull myself out of this in any meaningful way. This is such a great opportunity for me, if I piss it away like everything else, what else will I have left? It's a charmed little life that I lead, ngl, no matter how miserable it really is. Shit just falls into my lap, it seems. Problems dissappear like they never even mattered in the first place. That won't be so forever, though. I know that. A day is coming where I'll have nothing at all. I just know it. It's like this knife constantly dangling over me. If I'm not ready, I'll fall apart complete when it finally comes down. It's like I've always known that, but I just keep fucking up anyway, as if to spite myself. It's a disease, really. I just don't know what the treatment is.

My biological father had to be sent away to a facility for rampant alcohol abuse.

My step-father is dying of cancer.

My mother only talks to me about work and making money.

The family is nonexistent and none of them could help.

Therapy is too expensive and my meds aren't helping.

All my prospects in the way of work have failed and all I get is rejection emails.

I have no friends anymore.

I have nobody to call or text for help.

I am ALONE.

Kill me already.