r/dating_advice • u/LunaRivera420 • 20h ago
Removed guy who just follows my stories
Tale as old as time, great first date but then no follow up. I expressed after the date that I would be open to a second. He never followed up which is fine I get it but he was always watching my stories and even liking them.
I let him lurk for the past month and I decided to message him after he liked one of my stories that was flirty in nature (not particularly aimed at him). I said don’t be liking my stuff if you’re not gonna ask me on a second date and he pretty much dodged the statement and we just chatted for a bit. After our exchange I came to terms with the situation and unfollowed him and removed him as a follower because I’m not looking to be friends with men I meet through dating apps.
Anyway, I guess my question is why do people do this? What is the point?
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u/WasV3 20h ago
When you realize that 90% of the time that men spend on social media it's when we are taking shits it starts to make a lot more sense
We aren't trying to send signals, we are trying to stay entertained while taking a dump
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u/LunaRivera420 20h ago
But like there are pages dedicated to entertainment? Like I get scrolling cause I do the same but not with people I went on dates with cause they aren’t really friends. Like is it some form of parasocial relationship?
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u/WasV3 20h ago
Click to watch story, oh let me like it, moved on to the next story.
It's not deep, we aren't curating our social media footprint like you are
Do you ever not watch a story because you're afraid of the message it sends? Do you ever contemplate liking or not liking a story because of what people might think of that? Most men don't
1
u/LunaRivera420 20h ago
But why keep someone you were dating in the sphere? Like I get the concept cause I do all those things, I like guys stories cause I like them, nothing deeper but I expressed interest and he has to so why keep up with me and respond to me if we aren’t friends and the intention is to date?
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u/OwlPrincess42 19h ago
Idk, why did you? Why are you posting thirst traps? That’s surely weirder than simply liking someone’s story (you know, the entire point of the app)
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u/LunaRivera420 16h ago
Who said I was posting thirst traps? And I kept him around because I wanted to date him?
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u/EmergencyKrabbyPatty 20h ago
Why didn't you set up the second date if you wanted it ?
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u/LunaRivera420 20h ago
I tried to, he wasn’t really receptive.
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u/EmergencyKrabbyPatty 20h ago
You did literally ask him out or lure him into asking you out because that's two different things that often women tend to associate as the same. If you did then he wasn't interested and like someone else said he was just watching your stories with nothing in mind
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u/LunaRivera420 19h ago
I guess I would say I tried to lure him then.
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u/manticore75 19h ago
Well thats on you then, stop playing stupid games
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u/LunaRivera420 19h ago
I’m not perceiving what I did as playing games.
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u/manticore75 19h ago
Luring him into asking you out instead of you doing the effort yourself is playing games
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u/LunaRivera420 19h ago
I mean I messaged him first on Instagram, he set up the first date, great first date, said I would like to see him again and he just said it was nice getting to know you and then lurked my stories. Idk, I feel like I was as clear as I could be but he just wasn’t as interested.
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u/manticore75 19h ago
Yes, so he set up the first date. The second date is on you then, the ball was in your court
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u/LunaRivera420 19h ago
I feel like the ball was in his court because I expressed interest in seeing him again twice and he never said anything.
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u/Tall_Eye4062 19h ago
Effort is attractive. Trying to lure him isn't effort.
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u/LunaRivera420 19h ago
Well should I text him? Lol “I went on Reddit and they said I was playing games, so do you want to go out again or no? lol”
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u/Tall_Eye4062 19h ago
Don't mention Reddit. If you WANT to go on a second date, text him something like "Would you like to go to the arcade?" Or "Would you like to go see Nosferatu?" Then he can say yes or suggest something else. If you don't want a second date anymore, then don't text him.
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u/LunaRivera420 19h ago
Personally to me, it might be too late because I already removed him from my Instagram. I didn’t block him or anything so it could always message me and I also have his phone number and he has mine so I mean I don’t know I feel like I’ve already put too much into this and I haven’t received anything receptive from him
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u/Tall_Eye4062 19h ago
Onto the next one, then. But men like direct communication, and a 50/50 ratio of effort.
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u/LunaRivera420 19h ago
Which is crazy because I feel like he could’ve been more direct with me and given me more effort, I felt like I was about to enter “the chase” and I stopped it before it became that.
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u/solarpropietor 19h ago
Look how she handles pseudo rejection.
She would of flipped her mind at the thought of a true and proper rejection.
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u/LunaRivera420 18h ago
Wait what makes you think I’ve never been rejected? I have been. I’ve just never experienced a guy lurking in my stories.
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u/solarpropietor 19h ago
Why didn’t YOU ask him out on a second date?
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u/LunaRivera420 19h ago
I alluded that I wanted to twice. I figured if he wante to he would because we even talked about it on the date about how he knows how women like to be pursued
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u/solarpropietor 19h ago
Don’t allude, ASK.
And we HATE pursuing women, that shit is exhausting.
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u/LunaRivera420 19h ago
Well too late now lol. I do still have his number and could text him but honestly he could have text me too.
This is why I don’t like dating, it’s just all a mess.
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u/solarpropietor 19h ago
You hate dating because you’re terrified of rejection. Embrace it, go out there and get rejected. And give rejections. Each no is closer to a yes.
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u/trulyElse 18h ago
It's really simple, really.
He thought you were cute, but only physically.
Not enough personality for a second date, but eye candy on instagram for when he's on the shitter.
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u/LunaRivera420 18h ago
I did suspect this, but i definitely have personality, I think a little too much honestly lol.
But yeah just eye candy and didn’t want more. Another reason I removed him, I have a private profile for a reason.
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u/Far_Marsupial8572 20h ago
One thing about men..they literally don’t make any sense! I have had guy friends and when prying into the reasoning behind things they will literally say “I don’t know” and how they’re convinced they like you until meeting you, or having sex or whatever and they don’t even know why,
Honestly don’t even waste your time trying to make sense of it because it won’t make any sense…ever
Keep looking for your king & pretend this one didnt happen 🤣
Sending you love
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u/LunaRivera420 20h ago
It’s frustrating! But yes, that’s why I removed him. I’m just like yeah not gonna waste my time with this. Cheers 🥂 lol
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u/Tall_Eye4062 19h ago
Men do make sense. Sometimes, you meet a girl and she's dull. Or awkward. Or any number of things. And you don't want to invest your money, time, and effort into her because you're just not that into her.
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